Recently, a fashion magazine tried to convince me to "breathe new life" into my mini-dresses by wearing them over slacks or jeans. After I worked my way through my rage-filled Lizzie McGuire flashbacks, I decided there are just some fashion trends that are not for me.
One Reddit user asked about the fashion trends that absolutely make people cringe - and hey turns out I'm not the only one who is just not a fan.
Here are the fashions people would rather leave behind.
Purses Ruin Posture
It's not my personal opinion, but my 50-year old Tai Chi teacher disliked purses. She railed against them for ruining posture.
"You have a purse? Don't. It throws your whole balance off. I see young women walking to work with their purse on one shoulder and holding a big cup of coffee and both are very bad habits."
Her alternative? Fanny packs. No one attending her class followed this advice.
Bump Them Bangs
Celebrate Mtv GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation
Giphy
Remember the front bump hair thing that was everywhere?
Holy sh*t what even happened during that time? Like every woman suddenly had a three inch front bump (lol) and we all thought it was the coolest thing.
Now looking back, it looked like everyone was a sex worker from New Jersey.
Those Long Pockets
I have no problem with Daisy Duke denim shorts. In fact, they look great on most women.
But when they have the short cut denim shorts with the long white pockets hanging out of the bottom... it looks god awful.
Look. Women just want pockets. Doesn't matter on what.
Just Wear Shorts
Jeans that are absolutely torn to shreds.
I'm not bothered by distressed or faded jeans, but I've seen several pairs are legit missing 80% of the front. At that point, just wear shorts.
I have a friend who almost exclusively wears jeans like this no matter the time of year. I've had distressed jeans as well but not to the extent of the kinds he wears. I'm talking like whole holes that cover like the outer thigh or entire knee, to the point that the total amount of fabric used to make the pants is probably equivalent to a pair of shorts. It looks ridiculous and hideous and I hate it.
I know a girl who has trouble standing up after sitting in her distressed trousers because so much of leg sticks out the "knee" hole...
It's Fine In Its Function
Those toe shoes.
This is one of those things that was designed for a function and is fine in its function. They are shoes designed for specific physical activity. They're fine there. Don't wear them to the mall.
But that specific physical activity is walking. I'm probably going to walk wherever I go. Now, if you'd prefer I go barefoot everywhere, that can be arranged.
I don't currently and likely never will own another pair of non-toe shoes. They're comfy AF and they look awesome
I'm fine with them when worn appropriately. But once I saw a guy dressed business casual with those and I about vomited in my mouth.
- mrsbebe
Easy On The Yeezys
Yeezys. They're ugly imo. No structural shape and fat soles. And the other yeezy shoes are just whack as hell and the slides look like slides you have to wear in a prison or mental hospital
They are ugly but very comfortable, you also can't really wear them anywhere with uneven terrain. Essentially an expensive house shoe.
- ritrly
What Are You Blending Into?
Pink Rocking GIF by ArmyPink
Giphy
I've had it up to (points at sky) here!!, with pink camo. Stop it ladies it isn't attractive, no i don't care that you shoot a Mathews, f*ck outta here with that stupid buck and doe mossy oak tattoo.
Did you know there is a pink camo perfume? A perfume.
I discovered it when I lived in Idaho. I already hated pink camo from my time living there, but when I saw that I knew that hell was a real place and I was living there.
"V"ery Hard To Miss
I had a friend who would always sag the front of his pants down to the point where you could see the "V" shape. He would always wear a shirt that sits too high so you HAD to see it.
Then he'd get mad at people for looking at it.
No Socks?
Men that wear no socks with shoes and slightly shorter trousers. I just think 'man your feet must sweat and smell' every time I see it.
Looks like when you are chillin in your pajamas and have to run out with the trash so just put on your shoes without socks, because it's only gonna take a minute and it doesn't matter that you look like a hobo.
And also you accidentally put on your wife's jammy pants, so you look like your brain is not running on all cylinders, but hopefully your neighbors won't come out and see you.
Hipsters And Ascots
As a guy, can we stop the waxed moustache, Mr. Peanut, hipster bullsh*t style?
Like capris, loafers, an ascot [a f*cking ascot!], Amish hat, ironic ukulele slinging, vegan leather, shoulder bag nonsense.
- br1qbat
A Hassle
I'm female and I wonder why other females pay a f*ck ton of money to get more nails on their nails - especially if it's only gonna last 2-3 weeks max.
Even more so, the long talons that look like it makes wiping your a$$ a hassle. Like for real, it's a waste of money to me.
- Nyra
Business In The Front
grammys 2016 mullet GIF by Entertainment Tonight
Giphy
Honestly I can't stand that mullets are becoming fashionable.
It horrifies me so much I feel pain when I look at them. If you have one, stop. Please.
When I see other guys at school walking around with a mullet, it makes me want to barf. Joe Dirt was the only one who looked semi decent with one.
Forget The Fanny
Dudes with bleached hair and fanny packs
PSA.....THE FANNY PACK WAS NEVER F*CKING COOL. F*CKING EVER NEVER.....EVER. STOP TRYING TO BRING IT BACK. YOU LOOK HORRIFIC. THE BEDAZZLED ONE'S TERRIBLE. F*CKING STOP.
...Clears throat...
I'm sorry. I know this is supposed to be a place for exchanging of ideas and knowledge. I ought to show a cooler temperament; but......my God.
Fanny packs just piss me off. People open them so smugly like "Yeah let me get my phone..."
- Nuffwong
Socks, Shorts, Stop It
Men who consistently wear basketball shorts, even in cold weather. If they are paired with sandals and long socks, that is the worst to me.
So many flashbacks of douchey high school guys thinking they were fashion icons with their horribly apathetic outfits like these!
Dudes that wear shorts that come down to their shins, and socks that go up to their knees
Control Your Contour
Right now, women are doing this thing where it's like they tan the hell out of the upper area on their cheeks. So there is like a reddish/brown line that goes across their face and it's just distracting as f*ck.
Not sure if I described it right but, yeah that.
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***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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