Recently, a fashion magazine tried to convince me to "breathe new life" into my mini-dresses by wearing them over slacks or jeans. After I worked my way through my rage-filled Lizzie McGuire flashbacks, I decided there are just some fashion trends that are not for me.
One Reddit user asked about the fashion trends that absolutely make people cringe - and hey turns out I'm not the only one who is just not a fan.
Here are the fashions people would rather leave behind.
Purses Ruin Posture
It's not my personal opinion, but my 50-year old Tai Chi teacher disliked purses. She railed against them for ruining posture.
"You have a purse? Don't. It throws your whole balance off. I see young women walking to work with their purse on one shoulder and holding a big cup of coffee and both are very bad habits."
Her alternative? Fanny packs. No one attending her class followed this advice.
Bump Them BangsCelebrate Mtv GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation Giphy
Remember the front bump hair thing that was everywhere?
Holy sh*t what even happened during that time? Like every woman suddenly had a three inch front bump (lol) and we all thought it was the coolest thing.
Now looking back, it looked like everyone was a sex worker from New Jersey.
Those Long Pockets
I have no problem with Daisy Duke denim shorts. In fact, they look great on most women.
But when they have the short cut denim shorts with the long white pockets hanging out of the bottom... it looks god awful.
Look. Women just want pockets. Doesn't matter on what.
Just Wear Shorts
Jeans that are absolutely torn to shreds.
I'm not bothered by distressed or faded jeans, but I've seen several pairs are legit missing 80% of the front. At that point, just wear shorts.
I have a friend who almost exclusively wears jeans like this no matter the time of year. I've had distressed jeans as well but not to the extent of the kinds he wears. I'm talking like whole holes that cover like the outer thigh or entire knee, to the point that the total amount of fabric used to make the pants is probably equivalent to a pair of shorts. It looks ridiculous and hideous and I hate it.
I know a girl who has trouble standing up after sitting in her distressed trousers because so much of leg sticks out the "knee" hole...
It's Fine In Its Function
Those toe shoes.
This is one of those things that was designed for a function and is fine in its function. They are shoes designed for specific physical activity. They're fine there. Don't wear them to the mall.
But that specific physical activity is walking. I'm probably going to walk wherever I go. Now, if you'd prefer I go barefoot everywhere, that can be arranged.
I don't currently and likely never will own another pair of non-toe shoes. They're comfy AF and they look awesome
I'm fine with them when worn appropriately. But once I saw a guy dressed business casual with those and I about vomited in my mouth.
Easy On The Yeezys
Yeezys. They're ugly imo. No structural shape and fat soles. And the other yeezy shoes are just whack as hell and the slides look like slides you have to wear in a prison or mental hospital
They are ugly but very comfortable, you also can't really wear them anywhere with uneven terrain. Essentially an expensive house shoe.
What Are You Blending Into?Pink Rocking GIF by ArmyPink Giphy
I've had it up to (points at sky) here!!, with pink camo. Stop it ladies it isn't attractive, no i don't care that you shoot a Mathews, f*ck outta here with that stupid buck and doe mossy oak tattoo.
Did you know there is a pink camo perfume? A perfume.
I discovered it when I lived in Idaho. I already hated pink camo from my time living there, but when I saw that I knew that hell was a real place and I was living there.
"V"ery Hard To Miss
I had a friend who would always sag the front of his pants down to the point where you could see the "V" shape. He would always wear a shirt that sits too high so you HAD to see it.
Then he'd get mad at people for looking at it.
Men that wear no socks with shoes and slightly shorter trousers. I just think 'man your feet must sweat and smell' every time I see it.
Looks like when you are chillin in your pajamas and have to run out with the trash so just put on your shoes without socks, because it's only gonna take a minute and it doesn't matter that you look like a hobo.
And also you accidentally put on your wife's jammy pants, so you look like your brain is not running on all cylinders, but hopefully your neighbors won't come out and see you.
Hipsters And Ascots
As a guy, can we stop the waxed moustache, Mr. Peanut, hipster bullsh*t style?
Like capris, loafers, an ascot [a f*cking ascot!], Amish hat, ironic ukulele slinging, vegan leather, shoulder bag nonsense.
I'm female and I wonder why other females pay a f*ck ton of money to get more nails on their nails - especially if it's only gonna last 2-3 weeks max.
Even more so, the long talons that look like it makes wiping your a$$ a hassle. Like for real, it's a waste of money to me.
Business In The Frontgrammys 2016 mullet GIF by Entertainment Tonight Giphy
Honestly I can't stand that mullets are becoming fashionable.
It horrifies me so much I feel pain when I look at them. If you have one, stop. Please.
When I see other guys at school walking around with a mullet, it makes me want to barf. Joe Dirt was the only one who looked semi decent with one.
Forget The Fanny
Dudes with bleached hair and fanny packs
PSA.....THE FANNY PACK WAS NEVER F*CKING COOL. F*CKING EVER NEVER.....EVER. STOP TRYING TO BRING IT BACK. YOU LOOK HORRIFIC. THE BEDAZZLED ONE'S TERRIBLE. F*CKING STOP.
I'm sorry. I know this is supposed to be a place for exchanging of ideas and knowledge. I ought to show a cooler temperament; but......my God.
Fanny packs just piss me off. People open them so smugly like "Yeah let me get my phone..."
Socks, Shorts, Stop It
Men who consistently wear basketball shorts, even in cold weather. If they are paired with sandals and long socks, that is the worst to me.
So many flashbacks of douchey high school guys thinking they were fashion icons with their horribly apathetic outfits like these!
Dudes that wear shorts that come down to their shins, and socks that go up to their knees
Control Your Contour
Right now, women are doing this thing where it's like they tan the hell out of the upper area on their cheeks. So there is like a reddish/brown line that goes across their face and it's just distracting as f*ck.
Not sure if I described it right but, yeah that.
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