People Explain What They Really Think When A Guy Refers To Himself As An 'Alpha Male'

People Explain What They Really Think When A Guy Refers To Himself As An 'Alpha Male'
Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

Let's get this right out of the way: "Alpha Males" don't actually exist.

The myth of the alpha might have gotten it's start when referring to 'alpha' wolves, the supposed leaders of their pack, thanks to a misleading study done by Rudolph Schenkel. In 1947, in a study entitled "Expressions on Studies on Wolves," the rise of the 'alpha' first gained its origins, as Schenkel believed wolves fought one another for dominance.

This has gone on to be proven inaccurate. According to the International Wolf Center's founder, Dr. L. David Mech, while it was a term popularly coined in wolf culture and the world at large, in the time since the study we've learned there is no evidence that an 'alpha' wolf is a real thing.

So when you hear or see someone say they're an 'alpha male,' what they're really saying is they're nothing.

Reddit user, u/SpiralGremlin, wanted to know what to do should they ever come across one when they asked:

What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an "alpha male"?

You'll have some quick thoughts firing around when someone says they're an "alpha." It can feel like you're about to be cornered and forced to listen to someone monologue about how great they are and the different kinds of jerky they smoke, but so long as you keep your mind focused, you can handle them.

A Quick Identifier

"Thanks for weeding yourself out. They lack the self awareness I want for people in my life."


"It's very convenient that we've found a way to get toxic people to label themselves for us."


"The funny thing is, the men who actually do exhibit healthy biological attributes one might call "alpha" (good leadership skills, appropriately-placed bravery, physical endurance and dedication) don't ever actually brag about those traits or refer to themselves as "alpha males." If you have to call yourself an "alpha male," you're most certainly not one lol"


You Shouldn't Have To Say Anything

"Not an alpha male."

"A true alpha-like persona is recognized by their actions, of which they are so confident they need not talk themselves up or others down. The actions (and subsequent results) speak for themselves."


SPOILERS: He Was Not Fun To Talk To

"That he doesn't understand social dynamics and probably isn't going to be fun to talk to."


"I knew I guy who always said he was one, and talking to him was like talking to a child."


I'm Not Afraid Of Anything Except Everything

"He's probably an ahole who thinks he's better than non-"alpha males" and who is so insecure that he is offended by anything that might threaten him being in control and having power."


"He "refuses to live in fear" but is literally terrified of other people and of social progress."


In The FBI?

"Dated an FBI agent who referred to himself as an alpha male. I had to cancel plans once because of my kids and he said, "this is why alpha males don't date women with kids". He had two sons of his own ages 3 and 6. I still can't understand how he's an FBI agent. He's the most narcissistic, arrogant, person I have ever met. Maybe those are characteristics of a good agent. All I know is I dodged a bullet with that one."


Telling You Loud And Clear

"Tell me you're insecure about your masculinity without telling me you're insecure about your masculinity"


Clear Indicators Everywhere

"-Drives an lowered Audi S5 with terrible body kit with a custom plate saying "2 RICH 4 U" or something like that."

"-Buys expensive stuff not to appreciate them but to shove them at people's faces"

"-Posts every moment in his life on Instargram while showing off his muscles"


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Let's say just saying something doesn't work. What do you do? Someone comes up to you in a bar, or a public place, and declares their "alpha" status? What's the first thing you should immediately do?

Feel Free To Walk Away

"It's so nice of them to declare their own red flags so early in the conversation. Was talking with a seemingly nice dude at a get together and he casually drops that he's been studying alpha mentality for awhile and can pick out who's an alpha and who's a beta/sigma/kappa or whatever the f-ck in a heartbeat. Let's me know I'm a beta and not to be offended by it. I politely noped out of that conversation."


Run Through The Checklis

  1. "Oh my, what an idiot"
  2. "Oh my, his poor mom"
  3. "Please go away"

Keep That Hand Over It

"Cover your drink and run, girl."


Really Lets You Know You're In Trouble If They Say It

"Laugh because in no situation other than when a memer is making a joke will anyone call themselves an alpha male"


Want to know how to really get under an "alpha's" skin?

Tell them the truth.

Wrong, Wrong, Just So Wrong

"That this person is weak , insecure and could never be a leader of any kind. Also they will be loud and likely wrong about almost everything they say and the more wrong the more loud."


Easy, Quick, Identifiable

"Douchebag of the highest order."


"Yep. First phrase that came to mind was "douche bag."


"In England we call them tossers"


Insecurity All Over Your Face

"Hes actually just an a--hole"


"And an insecure a--hole at that. I don't know about you, but I've never seen someone who refers to themselves as an "alpha", who doesn't seem perpetually angry at life and feels the need to put other people down in order to elevate themselves."


We're More Complicated Than That

"Brings to mind Tywin Lannister's quote."

"Any king who must say I am the king is no true king."


"Pretty much. I think the idea of dividing men in alphas and betas and what ever the f-ck else nonsense terminology is just outright stupid in the first place. People are complicated and don't fit into binary or tertiary categories."


When all else fails, just politely say, "Excuse me," and walk away.

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