You know that there's a 50% extra chance you're going to laugh in a time you shouldn't be laughing. And then from there, it's approximately a 25% chance that that laughter will become uncontrollable and cross every social line possible in that moment.
u/KillerMemeStar3 asked Reddit:
What's the worst place you have laughed uncontrollably?
Here were some of the not-hilarious answers.
No-Job-Guffaws
In a staff meeting when they told us the store was closing and we would all be losing our jobs. It was the first mandatory full staff meeting in the 2 years I had been there (usually the warehouse area where I worked would do those things separately).
I was joking in the carpool to work that we were all getting laid off in one go to save time and when we get there the Big Boss has tissue boxes lining the meeting table. I knew I was right and immediately starting giggling like an idiot. I kept it together (kinda) until they announced the lay offs and then I lost it.
Other people were in tears for losing their jobs but the whole thing was weirdly hilarious to me.
Unbelievable
When I was 20, I moved to North Carolina to live with my bf at the time. I had come from a fairly active church background, so my bf, wanting me to feel at home, decided to take me to a quaint church out in the backwoods just outside of town. The congregation was divided by gender, men on the right, women on the left. The pastor greeted me and made a huge deal about how he was happy to make an exception to allow me to sit with my bf on the men's side since it was my first time attending, so I did.
It was a fire-and-brimstone, straight out of a movie, Big Tent Revival, evangelical church. The pastor was yelling and stomping and shouting about how the media and TV was corrupting our children and how we should close our eyes to worldly sin or forever forfeit our right to the kingdom. It was intense. He was jumping and pointing and spit was flying as he preached, and then he locked eyes with me while saying "So I say, YES, I SAY, Lord, GET SPONGEBOB AND HIS LITTLE FRIEND OUT OF MY HOUSE! Get them OUT, dear lord, for I will not let my babies bare witness to their sin!" And I lost it. I could not contain myself. I buried my face in my hands, then in my bf's shoulder, but I couldn't stop, and I was shaking uncontrollably. The men around us thought I was 'touched' by the service and they all laid their hands on me in prayer, which made it much, much worse, and when I finally got myself under control, I had tears of laughter streaming down my face.
We never went back.
F Is For Friends Who Fart Stuff Together
My best friends father died, and we kinda stopped talking for a while. I dont think I had seen her in almost a year. Well as wee go down to hug and say hi to the family, I noticed it the same thing over and over "I'm sorry for your loss." If you need anything, im always here for you guys"
Well I knew she was tired of hearing it, as I walked up I hugged her and whispered in her ear " I just farted"
With tears in her eyes she laughed uncontrollably. And she still mentions that moment from time to time.
And yes we are best friends again.
Ding Dong Merrily On High
At my mother's baptism...
My mother was raised Catholic but grew away from the church for various reasons over the years, but she became very active at her local Baptist church and decided to officially convert. They held a huge ceremony during the Sunday morning service, and the whole family showed up to support her.
Well, there is always music and singing, and being a fairly large church, they had a band with a multitude of instruments. There was this one fucking guy, and his job was to play the chimes. You know, the different ones hanging on strings all in a row? Well let me tell you, this guy LOVED to play the f*cking chimes. It was his only job. He did it with such flourish. He would shove his hand into the air before swooping into the hanging bars of metal. Did you know that he was also able to incorporate chimes in to multiple points of all the songs played? Well he did. Chimessssss all day.
The first time it happened, my husband and I locked eyes in the pew. That was it, we f*cking lost it. AND HE KEPT DOING IT! Song after song. We could not get control of ourselves. My father, sitting behind us, was furious.
Just Pay Regular Price
Not the worst, but I've done it at the movies a few times. Once during Mad Max Fury Road and again watching the first Jurassic World. One friend insisted in seeing them in 3D. For some reason, when the guitar player in Mad Max came flying off the truck in 3D, I lost my sh*t and could not pull myself together. And I have a pretty loud belly laugh cackle. I unintentionally made a scene in the theater.
Same deal with Jurassic World, when the guy who is talking about weaponizing the velociraptors tries to hold out a hand to calm one down and it starts by eating his arm, then killing him. The 3D in that movie was meh, and this was one of the few times it kind of worked. And again, for some reason, I lost my mind laughing.
We don't go to 3D movies anymore.
Unremarkable Excursions
Here's a word of advice: Don't attend a car crash as part of a first date.
Back when I was first trying my hand at online dating, I made plans to meet up with a young woman at a coffee shop near a beach. Like many such doomed-from-the-start affairs, this one began with a lot of small talk, a discussion about the surrounding area, and a couple of allegedly humorous misunderstandings. For a little while, it seemed like it was going to be an unremarkable excursion... but just as as the conversation was actually getting started, we were interrupted by the loud screech, pop, and crunch of a fishtailing car plowing into a nearby tree.
As is wont to happen in such circumstances, many of the café's other customers gathered around to gawk at the scene. Murmurs of speculation rippled through the small crowd as we all watched the car's driver climb out and survey the damage, followed by gasps of shock and alarm as people noticed that her head was bleeding. One of the nearby employees went to call 911, and my date asked if we should try to help the woman. I was about to respond with my agreement, but the words never came out... largely because they were replaced by uproarious laughter.
Please understand, I wasn't making light of the car crash. In fact, at the exact moment that I'd been encouraged to assist, I'd caught sight of something that my brain decided was too funny to ignore: From behind the wreckage, there came an enormous – almost spherical – man riding on a motorized bicycle. He looked to be about fifty, had an expression of intense concentration on his face, and was moving so slowly that it really seemed like he should have toppled over. Each of the man's limbs were frozen in place, statue-like, as the dull whine of the vehicle's motor struggled to inch him forward.
I don't know why I found that so amusing, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Tears of mirth clouded my vision, and no matter how hard I tried to restrain myself, I just couldn't stymie my amused outburst. Needless to say, it didn't make the best impression on the girl across the table from me, and I could feel the disapproving stares of the other patrons from all around. I did finally manage to explain what had caused me to break down like I had, but I'm not convinced that the young woman believed me.
We didn't have a second date... but to be honest, I still chuckle to myself when I picture the man on his moped.
A Simple Mix Up
Oh, man.
I used to work in a call centre, and on each call I had to enquire whether the customer had cavity wall and loft insulation already.
On one call I accidentally asked somebody if they'd had their "caft and lovity woft", immediately bursting into an insane fit of giggles. Thankfully the person on the other end of the phone saw the funny side (honestly just typing that out now I'm having to suppress the giggles) .
I ended the call and had to take a break to let all of the giggles out and compose myself.
Eventually I calmed down enough to make another phone call, and for whatever reason, as soon as the next person answered the phone I burst back into giggles.
The customer was nooottttt impressed. I explained "caft and lovity woft" and apologised to the guy, but he told me how unprofessional it was and that it made my company look bad etc etc. I apologised profusely but still couldn't really stop giggling. He hung up shortly after that.
And tbh, f*ck that guy, because caft and lovity woft is hilarious.
Out Of Context
When I first met my husband's parents they invited some of their extended family out for dinner.
My husband's aunt told me this story:
An elderly man they knew was island hopping in Indonesia and got into a small plane of about ten people. The plane's engine failed (or something like that haha) and it nosedived into the ocean. 9 passengers died, this man they knew was the only surviver and was picked up by a passing boat.
He went into hospital where they were sure he was on his deathbed with pneumonia. After a month of being in hospital in a foreign country, his family demanded he be transported back home. After another month in hospital finally he made a recovery and returned home. For his first breakfast back home he asked that it be served on his balcony. He sat down on his chair on the balcony and waited for his breakfast to be served. The balcony "fell off the house and he died."
I think it was the phrasing "fell off the house", combined with nerves at meeting my husband's family for the first time, that made me completely lose my mind. I was wiping away tears. The worst part is that no one else heard the story and when they asked the aunt what was so funny she said "I was just telling her how so and so passed away."
Whoops.
#VoteThemOut
My great grandmothers funeral. She was very loved and there were almost 200 people packed into this funeral home. But we were in good spirits. She was a great woman and wouldn't want us sad. She was very sick anyway so no one was truly shocked she passed.
My uncle was sitting in the front row I was in the second with my aunt (his sister). It was dead silent before the music started to play and I see my uncle look left and right. The front row was all pall bearers. He just turns around and says, "it looks like a Republican national convention up here." I realize it's an entire row of 6 foot average weight 40-60 year old white men all wearing the same suit.
My aunt and I were choking back tears from laughing so hard. Completely couldn't catch my breath.
Made the whole funeral go better.
Whoops, Sorry
There is a neighbor boy that my son and I absolutely hate. I know he's just a kid, but I hate him with a deep, adult hatred.
(I genuinely believe he is a sociopath and has a future of crime and/or douchbaggery ahead of him. He choked my son in front of me, lied about it to me, and then when I talked to his parents about it, they just said "Well that's not what he told us happened, and there's two sides to every story," so you know there's no hope for this kid to be put on the right path.)
Anyway, there was a neighborhood kickball game in my yard one day, and I'm monitoring because this kid showed up and he was constantly cheating and bullying the other kids, and I was waiting for enough to happen to justify kicking him out. I was just standing up to walk over and tell him to leave, because he was trying to claim he tagged a kid with the ball when he hadn't, when my son picked up the ball, fired it at the little *sshole's face with the accuracy of a missile launch, and yelled "Stop cheating, this is why no one likes you!"
The kid's head snapped back hard, and he toppled to the ground. He looked at me, clearly wanting me to dish out some punishment, but I was literally in tears laughing at the little douchebag's comeuppance. I know the right thing to do here, and I did none of it.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...