Mis-texts; we've all had it happen and it can sometimes be the stuff of nightmares.
Well, for the people involved anyway. For those of us who get to watch the shenanigans go down, it's the greatest show on earth. The circus ain't got nuthin' on this!
One Reddit user asked: What is the worst text that you accidentally sent to the wrong person?
Want to feel better about your life? At least you're not the dude who sent a picture of his booty-sweat to his Pokemon friends. Unless you are that guy, in which case, Sir we thank you for the greatest belly laugh we've ever had.
You guys ready to do this?
50. The Voice That Rocks The CradleGiphy
While at school I accidentally sent a text to a friend's house phone (landline). I happened to be a passenger in the car behind him and sent a message to him (also a passenger) saying "look behind you, I'm in close pursuit". Apparently when you text landlines a creepy artificial voice attempts to read the text to the recipient when they pick up the phone. His mum on receiving the message locked all the doors and windows and called the police about a potential stalker...
49. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride(smaid)
Not the text I sent, but one a friend sent me.
Context: Recently got engaged and was visiting my closest friends individually to deliver their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards. Most of them took a photo of the card and put it on social media which was fine.
An hour later I get a text from one of my bridesmaids that says, "OMG I can't believe (sheliveslight) made (friend) a bridesmaid!! She'll just sleep around with the groomsmen like she did at the last wedding she was in. EWWW. Is it too late to deny the bridesmaid offer?"
Definitely had a good laugh with my fiancé about it. The bridesmaid apologized profusely after she sent the text (she claims it was meant for her mom to see), and still asks me to not bring it up whenever we're texting or hanging out. Still made her a bridesmaid though.
48. Wrong Mom Syndrome
This might not be the worst, but it happened yesterday so i thought i'd share.
My relationship with my mom is very much about cooking and house related stuff.
My relationship with my MiL is different, a lot more business-orientated, but still good.
Yesterday I sent to my MiL, very excitedly "I've found bread that smells just like the bread you used to make!".
When i got the reply that said "OK?", i knew i sent it to the wrong mom.
I resent the message to my mom, with the mixup i made and she found it extremely amusing.
So yeah. Accidentally sent a warm fuzzy message about bread to the wrong mom.
47. I Kissed A Girl And Seriously Disliked It
I tried to send a text to my boyfriend about how exasperated I was with my boss who had offered me a ride back to the office but was late. Yeah, guess who I actually sent that text to. It was an awkward car ride.
Not sure you'd call it an accident, drunk me definitely knew what she was doing, but I also texted my boyfriend while I was black out drunk to let him know that I was black out drunk and had made out with a chick and she tasted weird and I didn't like it.
46. Oof, And Here's Where We Get OffGiphy
The year after my husband died, I was dating a guy with whom I had shared some of the horrors of my marriage. He knew I was not a grieving widow. We usually would go out on Tuesday nights because I don't work Wednesday mornings.
On a Monday afternoon, the day before my husband's birthday, I had been texting my BF, when I received a text alert that asked if I wanted to go out Tuesday night to "celebrate."
Thinking this was my BF being funny, I texted back "you mean a bwahaha party?"
The text was from my daughter.
Probably too late but this is probably the most cringey thing I have ever done... So a couple years ago when I was like 19 I was working in an automotive shop. During slow season I got put on piece work, so this meant that every morning my boss would text me to let me know what time he needed me to come into work that day. Well one morning I woke up to a very depressing message from my super insecure boyfriend at the time. Basically saying that he didn't think he was good enough for me and he felt like I could do better, blah blah blah.
So before I got ready for work, I typed out this extremely long mushy response basically saying all that cheesy bullshit you say when you're trying to convince a person that everything's fine and that you love them and all that stupid shit. Like I'm talking the cheesiest cheese that's ever been cheesed via text message. So I type this long sappy message and send it so I can get ready for work.... only to later find out that I had somehow accidentally sent the message to a nice old Irish gentlemen- aka my fucking boss. I was mortified.
I was relentlessly teased for weeks by the shop full of older men that I worked with. Luckily my boyfriend and I split up 2 months later when I received a nice Facebook message from his ex girlfriend. Among the messages were screenshots of messages from my boyfriend begging for another chance, telling her that he would leave me in a heartbeat for another shot with her. My coworkers stopped teasing me shortly after that haha
44. Select Your Fighter
One time in college I got this girls number and texted her a little bit. That night I had been playing Mortal Kombat with my friend before we went out.
Anyway, that same friend goes home with a girl, and the next day, with a terrible hangover, I send the text "did you engage is sexual kombat with (girls name)"
Waited a while and didn't get a response and to my horror, I see I had accidentally sent it to the girl who's number I had gotten. That was so awkward but also so hilarious.
43. But The Deodorant Tho
This actually happened.
Meant to send it to my friend "AA". His name is right next to my boss "AB" on my phone. This was the first day back from Christmas holidays and I was trying to get a jump on the new year.
Sent this to my boss instead of my friend about my recent breakup:
"In the deodorant section at meijer and so many condoms here. Guess I won't be needing those for a while"
42. Wrong Kind Of Party
i was supposed to bring something to a friend's party and texted, "should i just bring some snacky things?" but instead it auto corrected to, "should i just bring some anally things?" i noticed right away but let it ride. she did not want anal things at this particular party.
41. Booths Are Different Than They Used To BeGiphy
Sent my husband a text asking if he liked the booty rub...
Only I forgot I had recently messaged my son so I didn't actually send it to my husband.
Luckily autocorrect changed booty to booth. Still it was mortifying. I mean maybe a booth rub is better than a booty rub, but a rub is a rub right?
As my life flashed before my eyes I thought of some detailed explanation on how to save myself the extreme embarrassment of my mistake. I was going to say it should have said bbq rub and I was asking about it to see if he enjoyed dinner. In the end I just apologized and said the message was meant to be for his step dad. My son is 19. I'm sure it grossed him out enough that at least he had the courtesy not to mention it. Thinking about it still makes me cringe though. 😑
40. Creativity Is Overrated, Am I Right Boss?
I was flipping through channels at work looking for a music station, when it started displaying the porn channels. The titles were hilarious, so I texted my boyfriend something like, "Wow, *ss Pounders 3 is on at 2pm, They're not even trying with the titles, just straight to the chase."
Of course, it wasn't my boyfriend but my former boss, who thankfully is very cool. He replied with, "Oh I agree, marketing really could be more creative."
I was still horribly embarrassed for the rest of the day.
39. The Light Threat Of Murder
My cousin was getting married and I stayed at my aunt's place to walk the dogs while she was busy getting ready for the wedding. About 30 minutes into this pet-sitting gig, I noticed that my aunt's goldfish had gone belly-up. My sister and I have terrible senses of humor so I texted her a pic of the dead fish and wrote, "pet sitting is going well, Rueben is next" (Rueben is the name of the dog)
I sent it to my aunt instead of my sister. She never mentioned it which made it worse somehow.
38. SURPRISE! ...Or Not
This is probably gonna get buried but here it goes. I almost ruined my friends surprise 30th birthday party. On the day of his party, we were all gathered in the party room. I was texting him because he felt sad he couldn't hang out with all his friends on his own birthday and he was going to one of his cousins birthday parties. I was kind of comforting him. All this while I was texting a mutual friend about us meeting up. I ended up texting the birthday boy, "I'll meet you out back, we gotta hurry though, he'll be here soon." I covered up by saying, I meant to send that to my bro, who was meeting me "in the backyard" to smoke before my Dad got home.
The birthday boy was still surprised, or at least played it off really well and told me later it seemed suspicious but he didn't think anything of it. Phew!
37. It's Always The Boss On Both Receiving Ends
Off sick from work, my missus and my boss had both texted me in a short space of time to check up on me, I thought I was responding to my missus with;
"honey, it's coming out both ends now, it won't stop coming out :sad face:"
My male boss text back saying "ah sweetie, you'll be alright xx" I felt like dying of embarrassment. Got into the office a few days later and first thing he did was crack up laughing when he saw me, still get stick about it to this day. He at least says he know's I wasn't faking it, as no one would commit that hard.
36. Say It Again, I Dare YouGiphy
To my religious, non-cussing mother: "It's hot as a motherfucker out here."
I immediately realized I sent it to the wrong person and I said, "I'm so sorry that wasn't for you." She said, "It better not be, that was very rude." That was five years ago and sometimes I will say, "Wow it's hot in here..." and she'll say, "How hot is it, lc7926? Hehehe"
So this is actually the wife jumping on to tell this story! For about 6months my husband lived apart while he was finishing out a work contract and we were moving to a new home about 200 miles away! While the house was being built we stayed with my parents! Seemed like the best way to save money since the whole thing was just temporary.
Well I was missing the hubby something fierce and decided to try my hand at sexting! I wrote my husband saying "I am just lying in bed using my purple vibrator and thinking of you!" My husband's name is Daniel. Well, two second later from the other room I hear my dad yell "what the hell! What are doing in there?" Yeah, I sent my Dad something meant for my husband Daniel, I came out of the room laughing because what else can you do?
He told me he doesn't want to know what I'm up to and that I better not doing crap like that while I'm his house. I am 30. We both never spoke of it again.
34. Dammit, Diana
I was in the car on the way to the airport with some friends and we were running late. We were about halfway there and on of my friends discovered she forgot her phone. We had turn around 20 minutes to go get it. I texted my girlfriend, "So we're on the way back because DIANA FORGOT HER F*CKING PHONE!"
I texted that to Diana. Many lolz especially because her mom was driving us and I had to say, "Diana, you're going to have a text from me waiting on your phone."
33. Accidentally A Jerk
New job, 8 weeks in and one of the older guys, who actually interviewed me, in the (small, 5 person sitting next to each other) finance team starts asking me some really basic questions about some accounting standards and how he should do something.
Go on our IM system to ask one of the guys (my age I got on with) if the older finance guy was EVEN qualified as an accountant. Took ages to reply, went for lunch and came back to a message from the older guy saying "yes, I am". Immediately got back up and left to contemplate just jumping out of the window.
Over my 4 years there we NEVER spoke about it and acted like it never happened. Safe to say later that day in the pub it got a good laugh from the guy I thought I was sending the message to.
32. I'm In Love With Stacey's Mom
Not sure if this counts but still awful:
I changed my phone and was on my way to back home to get all my numbers back, got some texts from a number that seemed familiar asking me about a movie and just assumed it was my girlfriend because we had been talking about going out to see some marvel movie earlier.
Got out of character super innocent responses to flirting, however, yet, still stupidly confident this was my girlfriend, I figured she was just messing with me as usual and kept going as normal.
Then I get a text from a number I know to be my dad telling me I'm being really inappropriate/taking a joke too far....then I realized I'd been attempting to flirt with my step-mother (just trying to invite me to a family movie thing) for like 30 minutes (and I mean like disgustingly aggressive teenager flirting too), I wanted to disown myself, thank god she didn't take it personally, I was uninvited to the family movie night that week though.
31. Reversed The DigitsGiphy
High school, stoked about my new cell phone and was getting everyone's number
Text one of my buddies "sup b*tch" because this is how friends talk to each other
Text this girl I had a crush on and was developing a small connection with "hey cutie"
Later, see girl and she is flustered saying "hey, why did you call me that?"
Thinking she is referring to being called cutie and that I may have overstepped my boundaries, I say "ah was that not okay?"
She says "no!"
I'm really taken back by this extreme reaction to being called cutie until later I see that I had texted her "sup b*tch"
After that we had a good laugh about it.
30. Get Ready For Some Level Ten Humiliation
When I was dating my wife at the tail end of college, we were sexting back and forth. I've never really been a sext guy. It seems pointless and silly and if I'm not with you I don't really want to be talking to you. Sexts just seem to go on and on. It's tiring really.
Anyway, my mom had texted me earlier and I'd responded about coming home that weekend.
Back to sexting. I realized that if I started being silly in my sexts my girlfriend would seem to lose interest and the sexts would wrap up. So this time I decided to ask if she was "ready for a level 5 cocknado"
I hadn't realized tho that my mother had texted me a moment before I started typing so I was actually responding to her.
29. To The Other Side
I was actually on the receiving end here.
The morning after a relatively wild night of college binge drinking, I woke up to a barrage of notifications on my phone.
One of these notifications was a text sent just before I woke up. It said "Good morning daddy :)"
Now, for a guy that's usually a great text to get. However, this particular text was from my twin sister.
I just sat there confused and stared at that message. Honestly, I didn't even think it was a mistake at first. I thought there was some critical piece of context that was locked away in my blackout brain, and I kept trying to reason with myself as to why my sister would send that to me.
After about 10 minutes of this, my sister texts me again with "OH F*CK NO THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU"
And then the dots connected in my partially functioning brain - that text was meant to go to some dude who was banging my sister.
How and why she accidentally texted me by mistake is beyond me. To be honest, I'm just happy it wasn't a picture message.
28. The Hockey Game Was, In The End, To Blame
I was on the way to a hockey game with my girlfriend. The relationship was running down and we had been fighting all day.
The tickets had been a gift from her, but she angrily suggested that I just take a friend instead.
I figured that was bait, so as much as I would have preferred that option, I said, "but you got these for me, this is part of the gift. There's nobody else I would rather go with than you".
My friend, whom I had been keeping abreast of the situation, suggested that I shouldn't go at all and that it would just make the situation worse. Being a good friend he even offered to pay my way to go to a game another day to make up for it.
He suggested that if I didn't go, we could go catch it at a bar together or something. But he asked that I let him know when I had made up my mind so that he could plan something else.
Smash cut to my girlfriend and I driving to the game. We haven't said a word to each other the entire drive. It. Is. Awkward.
So we parked in our favorite "free" parking spot near the rink downtown, and hailed a cab to go the rest of the way.
Then it dawned on me. Oh crap, I never texted my friend back.
So I hastily texted him, "hey buddy, tonight sucks lol. But I guess I'm in it to win it now, so I'll catch ya another night".
The quiet in the cab somehow went even icier.
"It was me", said my girlfriend.
"What?" I asked.
"You sent that text to me", She said through gritted teeth.
I started laughing. I have to admit.
She couldn't see the humour. I tried to make it a connective moment.
I said, "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But cosmically, this is funny, right?"
She didn't agree.
We broke up that night at the game.
Note: She's a good person, we just didn't belong together.
27. Two Lauras, No Time
I had an LG enV3 for awhile that would switch recipient when I sent a text in college.
I also had multiple friends named Laura, but they were in different friend circles. One was a young, healthy and active classmate in my core classes. The other was a friend of mine who had been struggling with chronic illness for a long time.
I meant to text one friend "yeah, Laura is in the hospital," to a friend who knew the 2nd Laura. But as I hit sent it instead sent to a classmate who knew the 1st Laura and was close friends with her.
I looked away from my phone for only about 2 minutes but when I came back my phone was blowing up:
"OMG IS SHE OKAY?! DOES [her boyfriend/ now husband] KNOW??? WHAT HOSPITAL? ARE YOU GOING? CAN YOU PICK ME UP I'LL GET MY SHOES ON!"
I called that friend immediately and calmed them down to explain the situation.
But I learned two things:
a) that is a really solid friend.
b) I am so damn lucky that's the worst mix-up I had with that phone before I turned it back in to Verizon.
26. Definitely Need Some Of That Scotch
Hey, I got a story for this. Kinda long, but what else are you doing right now?
I have a close friend/co-worker (we'll call him Joe). One day I gave Joe a ride home from work. I was trying to tell him about this Scotch I like, but I couldn't remember the name of it. So, when I got home, I sent him a picture of the (empty) bottle. The next night I get a reply that just says "who is this?"
So this is where a smart person would say who they are and confirm who they were talking to. I, however, am not a smart man. I had just left Joe at a bar, and for some reason I assumed that he just didn't have my number saved and/or was drunk. So I texted him "I smoke crack in your nightmares," which was a reference to an actual nightmare that a mutual friend had told Joe and I about. A few minutes later, I got a response that said "WHO IS THIS?"
Again, this is where a smart person might notice something is amiss. I, however, did not. Instead of wondering if I had the right number, I decided to tell him "check your chip-chafed buttcrack." This was another inside joke, referring to something that had happened at work that day. I get another text that says "WHO THE F@*K IS THIS!?"
So at this point, I decide Joe is too drunk to understand these references. I tell him "Jeez, this is just sad now. It's Brakalicious." The response: "I DON'T KNOW A BRAKALICIOUS, WHO IS THIS?"
Finally, I started to catch on. I asked, "is this not Joe?" They said, "NO IT'S NOT AND YOU'RE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF MY SON!"
Apparently I had been texting a child. Let me quickly recap what I had sent:
- A picture of an empty bottle of Scotch.
- "I smoke crack in your nightmares."
- "Check your chip-chafed buttcrack."
I know I'm not smart, but stuff like this makes me worry that I'm full-blown stupid. Be careful out there, you guys.
25. Tell All Your FriendsGiphy
I thought I was texting my partner, but I accidentally sent my mom this text:
"I love when you make love to me."
She proceeded to tell all of my friends.
24. Boss Move
I once texted my boss: Imma put your whole face in this ramen and you will love me so hard for it."
23. Dad's So Pretty
I almost always send my girl a good morning text, accidentally sent this one to Dad instead:
"Good morning beautiful! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!"
My dad just responded back:
"I always knew I was pretty."
I didn't send one, but I got one about me. I was on a plane with a group of co-workers, including a husband & wife seated a few rows ahead of me. I was eating a bag of Doritos when I get a text from the wife saying:
**"Is that (me) chomping away on chips back there?!" **
Like she was clearly annoyed with how loudly I was eating. I read it, smirked, and just waited. After a while, I watched her look at her husband wondering why he hadn't reacted to her text. Then she went back into her texts and realized she had sent it to me. We were still waiting to taxi so texts went through with no problem. She realized there was chance it didn't send and that I definitely got it.
Then I watched her ever so slowly set her phone down in her lap and stare silently straight ahead.
21. The Elf-ephant in the room.
My boss accidentally sent me a picture of a sexy elf costume asking if I would wear it. He apologized profusely for it.
20. Thanks, Siri
I was once trying to send my 14 year old daughter a text via Siri and it wouldn't recognize her name every time I said "Text (daughter)." I got annoyed and started cursing Siri out, which of course, Siri understood loud and clear.
She was waiting to be picked up from dance class. Thanks, Siri.
19. Bad DateGiphy
I was on a bad date, so I texted my friend with benefits:
**"This date sucks and I'm about to ditch them ASAP to come over to your place." **
Except I sent it to the person I was on the date with by accident. The date ended fairly quickly at that point.
18. CC Everyone
My buddy and I gchat at work all the time, and one day he was leaving and meant to type to his wife "see you at home, love you xoxo" and he accidentally sent it to me. Now we say "love you xoxo" to each other at the end of every day.
17. Urinal Acoustics
I once texted my boss that I thought the guy next to me in the urinal must have had a huge urethra based on how loud he peed...
16. This Never HappenedGiphy
My girlfriend left a pair of her underwear and had suggested I try them on. I did and sent a funny photo. She didn't respond, so I went to ask if she got it. That's when I saw that I had sent it to my younger brother.
I message back saying:
"Not meant for you, this NEVER happened." __
He replies back:
"This never happened."
It's been like 3 years I think and we've never discussed it, but maybe a few years down the line it'd be funny to bring back up and see if he remembers it.
Me And my girlfriend spent all day playing Pokemon Go in the hot Australian sun. Later, I sent a picture of my sweaty underwear to my girlfriend with the message:
**"Look at that sweat!" **
Turns out I sent it to my Pokemon Go group with more than 70 local people.
14. The Blue SpeedoGiphy
I sent a screenshot of an Amazon page to a client. She's a 58 year old woman from Nigeria.
It was a very small blue Speedo, on a male model.
13. Control, Alt., Delete My Memory
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when my S.O sent me a text saying
**"How's the poo going?" **
I told him it was going great, so he jokingly asked for a picture. Thinking it would be hilarious I turned around, snapped a pic and hit send. I immediately realized I was actually on another chat with my friend - boyfriends message had just popped up as a notification.
12. 2 Boobs and 7 Chins
I was getting dressed with my phone in my hand. I was bent over to pick up a shirt and bra. My thumb must have been near that pic button in the chat. Next thing I know I've sent a lovely "selfie" and 7 chins to my Dungeons And Dragons group chat. Like awkward front-facing camera nude, not sexy.
This happened 2 days ago, I am still mortified. I can only hope I made someone's day, because I cried.
When I was like 16, I wrote to a friend about liking a girl. Of course I wrote it to her by accident.
I tried to cover it like:
"hahaha, yeah I did that on purpose to freak you out."
I ended up confessing later, but she wasn't interested.
I still cringe.
10. Kill Me Now
My friend cheated on her boyfriend and was trying to make it seem like it only happened one time, so she texted the other boy ...
"If (boyfriend) asks, we only had sex once"
and sent it to her boyfriend...
9. Bluetooth Betrayal
So this was not sent to the wrong person but still received by the wrong person. For the sake of the story, let's say my name is Jorge.:
I was at a college party with my friends. One of my friends sister showed up and we got along great. Friend and his sister drive me home. He is driving, hot sister is in the back seat playing music from her phone. I had gotten her number earlier and things had been getting flirty, so I texted her. Obviously I didn't want my friend/her brother to hear me trying to get with her. I didn't realize her phone would play the text out loud through the car's speakers. The music went silent and her phone goes:
**"Jorge said: Can't wait to get you alone." **
I am there in the front seat mortified because my close friend just heard what I wanted to do to his sister. He had no idea that she and I had even talked that night. Trying to cover with humor, I just look at her and go:
**"hehehehe AWKWAAARRD" **
He sat dead silent looking at the road.
My sister asked for a picture of the engagement ring I was buying for my fiance. Guess who I actually sent that one to.
7. Don't Tell Anyone Mom Killed The Baby Sitter
Sent the mom of the child I was babysitting a text stating that I would rather jump out of their window than continue to watch their kid for the rest of their night. Yeah, not my proudest moment.
I paced back and forth in their house until they got home. Pretended nothing happened and they texted me when I got home confronting me about it. I apologized and never saw them again. Oops.
6. Mom-entary Lapse
When I was sick a few months ago I actually sent my mom a text message asking her to come cuddle and rub my tummy until I felt better. It was meant for my boyfriend at the time. She totally thought that I was just homesick and missing my mom, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
5. Apology RequiredGiphy
Messaged my teammate Chris, he didn't respond, messaged him again in a vulgar way because I thought he was just ignoring me. Turns out there are two people at work with the very same name, and autopopulate picked the wrong one. This guy was a very serious Director. I was a lowly engineer. He was pissed, but I apologized profusely on IM and called him to apologize. I think that combo spared me. Still work there today.
4. Sorry Boss
One time I was a passenger in my mate's car and this segment on the radio played, like "text us your horrible boss stories and be in to win!" I'm sure you can see where this is going. My boss at the time was pretty awful. Didn't give me breaks, over worked me, charged me tax but pocketed it, was 5 weeks behind in my wages, would get drunk in the front by himself while I was in the back cleaning dishes (this was a restaurant). So I put this in a text to the radio station.
I put this in a text to my boss.
I had work that night. Very awkward shift. It's like he wanted to be mad at me, but now he was aware that I knew what he was doing was immoral he didn't want to make it worse...
Not many words were spoken that night.
my best friend had a new boyfriend that I hadn't met or even seen a photo of. We were hanging out and she kept getting snaps from him and it was ruining the movie we were watching. I turned to her and was like "what ya snappin?"
And she said her boyfriend kept sending her funny snap filter photos. Her phone dinged and she was like "oh he just sent one! Wanna see so you know what he looks like?" And it was his penis. So I saw his manhood before his face.
2. Advise this?Giphy
My freshman year roommate accidentally sent his academic advisor a timelapse of himself eating 12 tacos. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than after him yelling across the room, "OH s***! /u/lespaulbro, can I unsend an email???" 12/12, even now it's still funny to taco bout it.
1. Awkward Turtle
School had me swamped so I barely got to see my girlfriend for a while so I sent a mushy text about how she's always on my mind and I love her, accidentally sent it to a casual friend only to find out that she was secretly in love with me... it was a very awkward situation.
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
A Late RunTom Hanks Running GIFGiphy
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
YummyHungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
GrossParis Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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