People Share The Dumbest Things They've Done That Have Made Them Question Their Own Intelligence
Sometimes you walk through life thinking, "I got this!"
This is not one of those times. This is one of those times where you walk through life going "How the eff did I make it out of bed today?"
Redditor d3dni asked:
"Hey Redditors, what's something that you've done that's so dumb that you question your own intelligence?"
Here were some of those answers.
Spelling And Cooking Don't Mix
will smith cooking GIF Giphy"I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled "mom" and I ordered one "o" and two "m" cookie cutters."
CichaelMlifford
Water Under The Sea
"I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air... I'm 25."
Dane_Gleessak
Smoosh
"Once I picked up a lemon, wondered "do lemons bounce?", and immediately threw it on the ground."
"It was the last lemon."
"They don't bounce."
evandolajakulater
Too Many Keys
"I've lived at my house for half a decade and I still get mixed up on which way the key goes in the front door. I'm starting to wonder if I should get tested."
ShoddyBiscotti1
Just Can't Stop
office space stapler GIF Giphy"I've stapled my thumb at least once a year from grade six to second year university. The first stapling was because I was showing my friends how my classmate stapled his thumb and the rest of the staplings were from demonstrating to various people how I had previously stapled my thumb."
punkterminator
Hot N Painty
"I have 2 stories."
"When I was 7 I went outside to play and noticed a blueberry in the front lawn. Of course I pick it up and eat it. It was a paint ball and I instantly regret everything."
"When I was 6 I made a bowl of ramen noodles but didnt notice it was a spicy flavor. I put the bowl in the fridge and came back to it a few hours later. It was still spicy and I was very confused. Hot =/= spicy"
xXDevious
Hooked
"Granted I was young, but in the fifth grade I recall being stung by a wasp and my mother got out an epi-pen just in case I had an allergic reaction to the sting. I didn't and I was fine, but my curiosity got the better of me. Later that night I knew where the epi-pen was, and I wanted to know how big the needle was in case I ever had to actually use it (I had a big fear of needles, guess I just was hoping it was a small needle lol). Anyway, I went to take a look (not knowing how an epi-pen worked) and when I clicked the button the needle when straight into my thumb, bone and everything."
"(For anyone that doesn't know, epi-pens shoot adrenaline basically into you which helps combat allergic reactions, and the "button" I pushed is what actually deploys the needle and it's spring loaded so it's pretty powerful). So here I am screaming because there is a NEEDLE THROUGH MY THUMB (and also the junk in the needle is making my heart go crazy.)"
"I asked my sister to help me get it out but it was so far in that she could not pull it out no matter how hard she tried. When I found my parents outside my dad was able to yoink it outta my thumb bone, it couldn't come out because it bent like a fish hook in the bone of my thumb. In the end I was fine, but it freaked the hell outta me and my parents."
ErythematousRat
Not Far Enough
"In 5th grade we watched a video in class about this kid who carved an elaborate wooden boat, and he burnt a message on the side that asked whoever finds this boat, please return it on its journey to the ocean. He places boat in a creek. It drifts off down stream. The video follows the boats journey where a boy finds it stuck in branches hanging in water. He puts it back into the current. It goes to a river. Bigger river and eventually after a few human encounters, it makes it to the ocean. So...."
"I was inspired. But didn't live near a creek. My brilliant idea was to make a few paper airplanes. I had just learned a cool new design. I finish one. I write on the side... "If anyone finds this, please throw it back into the sky so it can reach the ocean." Went to front porch and reared back and threw it."
"It went 6 feet and nose dived onto the driveway. Picked it up. Threw it again. It looped and fell 2 feet from me. I grabbed it, crumpled it up and remember saying to myself, what the heck were you thinking?"
Cyrano55
Whoopsie Daisy
santa clarita diet drey barrymore GIF by NETFLIX Giphy"So I was standing outside of a bar in the middle of winter (a little tipsy) and I went to kick the snow off my boots. Because of the icy ground I ended up kicking my feet out from under myself. My legs shot up over my head like I was a cartoon character. Lots of laughs were had. I hate the snow."
revelinravel
All The Same
"Just today"
"I'm in control of ordering and stocking medical supplies for my clinic"
"I unstacked 20-25 cases of saline with the intent to rotate stock so it won't expire"
"Once I finished stacking the new delivery (40boxes) and began stacking the older stock on top I realized they all had the same expiration date Oct/2020"
"I'm an idiot"
Brownale78
Going Up?
door garage GIF Giphy"At my apartment complex, the doors are all different. When you're opening the door in the garage, the key goes up, when you're coming in from the street, the key goes down. It drove me so crazy for a while, I felt like I was going literally insane because I couldn't remember which was which."
Calc Damage
"I wrote [2+2] to my calculator during a statistics exam and before I pressed [=] I uttered "oh."
"Not because I found out the answer, but because of the realization that I may have some kind of brain damage."
AUGUSTBRANDISH
"Funny thing is i had a problem once on an exam that was similar to this, I knew the answer because it was obvious, but I still used the calculator because I ain't trusting my brain lol..."
LukeTheGroundwalker
Stupid receipt.
"Bought a can of coke, walked out of the store with the receipt in my other hand. Immediately tossed the coke in the deepest trash can ever. Stupid receipt. :("
digmalick
"This reminds me of a video I saw once where a woman was feeding ducks by a dock with the bread in one hand and her phone in the other. You can see where this is going."
TheNightSentinels
Hand Seared
"One time I didn't want to dirty a plate to heat up my doughnut in the microwave, so I thought for a moment with myself I should try and just hold it in my hand while it cooked in there."
Beyond the SIlence
"Searching for my phone when getting out of the car while on the phone. Then telling your phone on the wire you can't find you phone..... The silence was deafening."
CanIGetAPaycheckBuff
"If it helps you feel better, my friend did that once, while I was next to her, and I helped her look for her phone. Her mom was laughing at us on the phone."
ScreamingPotoo
Protein Add ON
animation loop GIF by Rafael Giphy"Very nearly tried to stop a blender blade with my fingers."
Owlmoose
"You mean to say you nearly added too much protein to your smoothie."
Forikorder
High Time
"I once was going to microwave water to make tea, I put an empty mug in the microwave with no water in it and I microwaved it."
Comrade_Wolfissimo8
"Same! But I remembered to add a tea bag...the smell of that burn will never go away!"
StrangeConnection
A walk off
"I once opened the washer to get the clothes, but got sidetracked by my dogs wanting to go out. When I came back in, I turned the dryer on and went about my business. Came back an hour later to fold them and the dryer was empty."
BustAMove_13
Give me Light!!
"Spent almost 10 minutes looking for my phone. Using it's light because it's dark. As if it wasn't bad enough to realize I was using my phone to look for my phone, I'm alone at the house. Why didn't I turn on the lights??"
a_bizz
"A lot of people make that kind of mistake once in a while. Just recently my phone 'disappeared', because I put it under a piece of paper for absolutely no reason and I spent way too much time looking for it everywhere except my room."
"Once I also left it in one of the cabins of my bathroom for some reason."
Zeddeling
Damn Auto
"I argued with an English teacher that it was spelt 'expresso' purely because I spelt it wrong once and autocorrect never corrected me."
Pengusta
Wire Crossing
"I threw an entire glass of milk in the recycling instead of the empty carton I just poured it out."
"Having trash in one hand and freshly prepared food in the other is never a good recipe to start with. Just... the wires in your brain switch for a moment."
Melodramallow
Why Am I Like This?
"I spent a good 5 minutes looking for my soccer bag that was in my hand the entire time."
"Every so often when I'm driving, I'll siddey check my pockets for my belongings. And for a moment I'll think, "crap do I have my keys?" Then I feel really dumb for a bit."
Waldolito
Finger Navigation
"When I'm at a gas station I usually take a minute to grab trash out of my car, except that I'm always holding important things in my hands too. So I have to navigate which fingers to move to throw away the Red Bull can, receipt, business card, straw paper and not my keys, phone, and wallet."
Volume Drop
"I turn the the music down in my car when sometimes when I'm trying to turn on the air."
gratefooldread
"Your brain has a processing load limit, like a computer. So turning off music when you need to focus on something else frees up processing power."
Avocado Danger
"Once when I worked at a Chipotle I was making guacamole. I had been employed there for about 2 years at this point, so I was going through the motions, tired as all hell, get about half way through scooping the avocados out of the skin, (about 24 of them), and looked down to see all the skins in the giant bowl in front of me, and all the avocado in trash can directly to my right. Covered in the blood from all of the steak and chicken I had marinated about 30 minutes prior."
༎ຶ‿༎ຶKnob Control
I am a baker at a local cafe' today I burnt the same thing 3 times because I had the oven set to 350 instead of 300. Whoops.
ihadtopoop-
"My roommate was making bacon in the oven."
- "Set the heat to broil instead of bake. Which wouldn't be a problem except broil defaults to 650 degrees."
- "Set the timer to 3 hours instead of 30 minutes."
- "Forgot to actually turn the oven on."
"This is the same thing that decided to use my very nice teflon pan to actually fry a grilled cheese and then forgot to turn the heat off."
"It's so damn hard to get burned carbon off teflon without scratching it to hell."
PolloMagnifico
Back to 8
"Google the definition of a simple word. It's like when in maths exam I check in the calculator if 3+5 is still equals 8. I keep doing this all the time."
Pipelin12
"Well come January 4th, from 10:32 am to 10:43 am, 3+5 will temporarily equal 7. So keep that in mind for any exams. Afterwards it will go back to 8."
"It's due to something called temporal balancing."
KalegNar
Thank you Sonicare....
"I was 16 and had a Brand spanking new Sonicare toothbrush. I was going about my daily, morning brush and was getting VERY aggressive in my side to side brushing to REALLY get in deep and in a moment I opened my mouth just a little too wide..."
"I proceed to aggressively brush my left eyeball in one swift movement."
"I remember trying to put the toothbrush back in my mouth before the searing hot, BLINDING (literally) pain made me drop my toothbrush in unison with my VERY loud yelp."
"After my dad stopped crying from laughter for what felt like 10 minutes, I washed my eyeball with clean cool water for about half an hour and though my eye was red for a week, I suffered no permanent long term damage"
"Except for my pride."
Morganithor
Keep It
"Pulled into McDonald's, ordered my food, paid for my food, then promptly drove off without my food. I've done this twice. Having to go in to get my food after that is embarrassing. It's my walk of shame."
BustAMove_13
"My mom has done this a few times lol. She gets embarrassed having to go in and tell them too. Thank goodness she realized it very soon after she drove off."
Fireyredheadlady
Eat Up
sandwiches GIF Giphy"I once prepared a sandwich to pack in my lunch for the next day. Then I immediately absentmindedly ate that sandwich."
BaudelaireHeHoo
Dial
"I was browsing through my phone when I asked myself something and thought "I'll just check on my phone" and, then, reached for my pocket. My heart skipped a beat as I couldn't feel my phone in my pocket (which obviously couldn't be there because I'm holding the freaking thing in my hand!) and then I realized how surprisingly dumb we, humans, can be in just a few seconds."
Seasonal Van Issues
"During the winter I'll leave my car running while I run inside to grab anything, then spend an extra 5 minutes looking for my car keys before I go outside."
lthmsg
"Depends on ventilation around where the car is and weather conditions."
"I work with vans, and we had to remind drivers to switch off the engines of their vans as soon as they came in because where we loaded them was under a canopy with really bad ventilation."
"The carbon dioxide would very quickly build up and some of the staff would complain about being light headed."
"So yeah, if your car is in a garage or something, I can totally believe this (not to mention that that is literally a method used to kill yourself)."
IndigoMichigan
Do What?
"While attempting to microwave something, the screen kept saying "do or". I spent about 5 minutes questioning " do or what???" Before realizing it was telling me to close the microwave door."
"Truly my lowest point."
LillyUpsideDown
To Me
presents wtf GIF Giphy"I once sent a Fedex, priority, to myself."
"I wrote my info in the 'to' section."
kbutters9
Jump and punch it full force....
"I was cooking some fish when the smoke detector in my apartment went off. I was cooking on one too many pans at once so I was flustered already, but then I wasn't able to locate the smoke detector because I had just moved in. I was frantically looking for the thing with pans boiling over in the background. When I finally found it in the hallway my gut reaction was to... jump and punch it full force."
"It didn't go quiet but my knuckles got bloodied up quite nicely. I looked at my hands in amusement and just stood there dumbfounded at myself for a few seconds before finally doing the logical thing and pressing the button which shuts off the alarm."
HonkForTheDong
being 13
"One time when I was 13, I held my phone over a well just because I could, then I accidentally bumped it against something and it fell in. I felt like a complete dolt and an absolute cretin."
conaar
"Your phone died thinking it was murdered."
ClathanNank
Squish
indonesia hamster GIF Giphy"Squeezing a squeaky toy in one ear to see if the sound would go out the other."
echothemage
Ready to Save You... Eventually
"My boss told me to register and pay for a CPR class online and then take a photo of the front and back of the card and submit to her. She meant the certification card, not my credit card. I was brand new! I chalk it up to nerves and anxiety. My brain wasn't ready. I was promoted eventually."
deuce1028
Zoom In
angry jason terry GIF Giphy"I was reading a magazine the other day and wanted to see a picture more clearly and tried to pinch-zoom with my fingers... this was not the first time I've done that."
Jedisolid
Still
"Got trapped once because the button to open the automatic door wasn't working."
"Forgot that you could still manually open the door."
"Stood there like an idiot for 5 minutes and texted a friend (who was nearby) for help."
IaniteThePirate
Enflamed
"Had a roommate deep frying some chicken tenders in a saucepan. It was boiling out of control and I grabbed it and ran outside, where it was raining to dump it out. It burst into flames and I almost caught myself on fire."
Braking Along....
"I tried to tow my friend's truck using my truck and a towing strap. Hooked everything up. I got in my truck and he got in my passenger seat and off we went. The first moment I had to brake, which was like 20 feet I realized he should of been in his truck, braking along with me."
bullhead_red
Teawise
Sipping Kermit The Frog GIF Giphy"I put my tea into the microwave for 2:00. The handle was on the right at the beginning. I became pissed that the handle ended up facing away from me every time. It took 8 or 10 tries before I wised up... sigh."
KitKeating
Less Than
"Reject something because it's less than I expected, leaving empty handed when I could have at least gotten something partial."
"It's even worse because I've done it several times already, it's like I just can't figure out that something, even if small and insufficient, is better than absolute nothingness."
elSenorMaquina
Ashes & Pop
stressed sylvester the cat GIF Giphy"Once poured a can of soda into the kitchen garbage can, and emptied my ashtray into a glass of ice."
jahnudvipa93
Cycled Back
"I left my brother's new house, we both live on exits to the same canal but 13.5 K apart. I cycled out to him had three or four beers and left to go home. I start cycling and it seemed to be going on forever but it was a nice evening and I was tipsy listening to music. Next thing I see is Leixlip station and realize I've gone 8 K in the wrong direction. By the time I made it back to my brothers exit I had cycled 16 K of a 13.5k journey and still had 13.5k to go."
Doogie34
Debt Collector
"I took a loan on a car at the age of 19. Then traded that car for a new one and increased the loan. Now I'm in debt and can't go into school until my loan is paid off. I've been trying to sell the car for almost a year but since (not US or UK or any 1st world country) we are having very good economic times, nobody is buying used cars that are newer than 3 years. Yay."
botnarin
to ascend
"We were Christmas shopping at the mall and the escalators were out of order. We spent ages hunting around for a fire escape or elevator because we forgot you can just walk up them."
manlikerealities
We can't always be the brightest bulb in our dimmest moments. But at least they make for great stories.
Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do
Reddit user johnnyportillo95 asked: 'What’s something left handed people have to deal with that right handed people wouldn’t even think about?'
Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.
It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.
Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.
For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.
Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:
"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"
If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.
Furniture Obstacle
"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."
– Prussian__Princess
"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."
– earwighoney
Everyday Objects For Everyday People
"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."
– J0rdan_24
Dangerous Tools
"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."
"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."
– diegojones4
It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.
Sports Disadvantage
"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."
– AjCheeze
No Future In Softball
"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."
– Leftover-Cheese
Find A Glove That Fits
"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."
– BowlerSea1569
"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."
– Jef_Wheaton
These examples are understandably annoying.
Shocking Observation
"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."
– UsefulIdiot85
"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"
"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."
– SilverGladiolus22
Can't Admire The Mug
"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."
– vanetti
"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."
– Bubbly-Anteater7345
"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."
– Material-Imagination
The Writing On The Wall
"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."
– darkjedi39
"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."
– dancingbanana123
Immeasurable
"Rulers."
"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."
– fourangers
Just Can't Win
"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."
"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."
"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."
"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."
"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."
– igenus44
The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.
But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.
Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:
"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."
Word.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen GiphyWhat Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost GiphyWho Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.
Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.
But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.
However not everyone feels that way about their job.
So what are these compelling careers?
Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked:
"People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?"
Cup Of Joe
"Barista is my main regular job."
"I f*cking love it."
"I love being able to talk to people all day and making cute little swans or whatever in people's drinks."
~ Low_Perception9046
Cleaning Up
"Janitor."
"Hours are good, work is easy, people are mostly nice."
"Something to keep me busy."
~ IHate2ChooseUserName
Fun With Chemistry
"I develop chemical sensors."
"I would buy the company and work half time."
"The joy of solving the types of problems that come up is fun."
~ BadDadWhy
Helping Children
"When I win the lottery I’ll still work but I’ll probably go to part time."
"I work with children with special needs—my job is rewarding and special."
"I love working with kids."
"Plus I’m too young to 'retire' and not work, I’ll get bored."
~ No-Section3226
Doing Dos
"I do hair."
"Love it!"
"Gives me purpose."
~ Hyperboleballad
Feeding The Hungry
"I'm actually a chef at my local homeless shelter."
"My dream job, even with an advanced degree."
"I'd not quit this if I won 3 lotteries."
"I would, however, cut a fat check to my organization and my sister organizations."
~ subwooferofthehose
Angel Of Mercy
"Nursing."
"I kind of still like it."
"I'd probably back off to part time if I won big."
~ LadyVaresa
Sweet Beats
"I'm a musician."
"Basically I have what for most people is a dream job, which makes me a non-representative specimen."
"On the other hand, I still occasionally work as a paramedic, and as rewarding as that job can be, I'm mostly doing it when I want to grab some extra cash."
"I'd probably let my certs expire if I was rich."
~ loose_lady_lutenist
Healing
"I'm a doctor."
"A great portion of my income is already donated to my hospital's program that expands access to low-income patients."
"I'd probably give 100% of my income to the program if I won and use the lottery winnings for living."
~ Shiblets
DIY
"I recondition (light remodeling) apartments after tenants move out."
"I’m alone all day and I can listen to podcasts or books, the work is very satisfying to me, and as a woman I’ve loved learning HVAC, plumbing, and electrical work as I use the experience in my own home when things break/need updating."
"I would go crazy without working anyway but I really do love my job."
~ Dependent-Bass-2043
All Creatures Great And Small
"Kennel attendant."
"I’ll never willingly turn my back on these animals."
~ RathGodofWar
No Business Like Show Business
"I’m the Assistant Director for a Children’s Theatre."
"It’s really not something you do for the money."
"You do it because you love it and can’t imagine your life without it."
~ RamblingsOfaMadCat
Fostering Futures
"I work in addiction recovery."
"It means a lot to me."
"I wouldn’t quit if I won the lottery, but I would go part time."
~ randtcouple
A Stitch In Time
"I teach people how to sew, mostly kids but we have a few adult classes as well."
"It is stressful but also so rewarding to see a room full of people who have learned a skill from you and can take home a bunch of goodies."
"Sewing is a dying skill so we need to teach it more!"
~ Interesting-Chest520
Saving Lives
"National Suicide Prevention Lifeline."
"I love the job. It’s stressful at times but also very rewarding."
~ MaryKathGallagher
Many people stated they might cut back to part-time or donate their salary, but a significant number of people had no plans to stop working.
However some would change their job focus or profession.
So, would you keep working after a lottery win?