As children, we saw the world as a very simple place. We thought we knew everything, and that nothing would ever hurt us. Oh how we were wrong, almost all of the time.

Weelie92 asked:

What's the dumbest idea you had as a child?

A happy ending, at least?

"I once tried to build my own trampoline."

"Placed four chairs a good distance apart, spread a bed sheet across them, and put something heavy to hold down the sheet. Now, a smart person would test this, make sure it's going to hold my weight or actually work like a trampoline. I did not take any such precautions, and took a dive face first from the back of the couch."

"And that's how I got the scar on my forehead."

"I did get a real trampoline when I was older though, never even got hurt on it."


Poor mom.


"I dug a hole in the back yard thinking I could build an underground house. My mum ended up falling into it when she went to hang some shirts on the laundry line. Luckily she didn't get hurt."


They're lucky they didn't learn the hard way.

"I remember reading The Boxcar Children and I was convinced that anyone who was like 13 years old was basically an adult, and could survive by themselves."

"My parents were constantly finding the hoard of canned food and camping supplies that I was trying to squirrel away in order to try to live in the woods."



"I tried to roast marshmallows on steam from the dishwasher."


They'll value their sleep once they hit adulthood.


"That the world was stupid for thinking 6-8 hours sleep was necessary. For about one academic year, I stayed up till about 3am playing games or watching films or even doing last minute homework and woke up at 6 for school."

"I was falling asleep in the afternoon lessons every day but I got back home and perked up again. Most of that year is a blur. I think it also coincided with when I stopped growing taller."



"I thought booby traps had something to do with boobies."

"So I went like a commando through the backyards in the neighbourhood and stole bras off the clothes lines. Since I figured - they already trap boobies at some level - they are the material needed to build my larger trap."

"My dad found whatever insane net I tried to build by connecting them all together stashed in the garage and was pretty confused, then pretty upset when I told him what I was working on."

"Since I had no record of where I got them from he made me go door to door asking if any females in the house were missing bras, then go through my entire collection to pick out which one."

"No one was very happy based on my actions."


Dream crushed.

"I thought that if you put blank copy paper in the copier it would make infinite paper."

"My dream of ruining the paper market at a young age was cut short when the paper ran out of the copier."


Bullet dodged.


"I formed a detective agency with my friends and would scour the local newspaper for cases to solve. Got really excited when I read that there were people down the street who's son just died suddenly. Was just leaving the house to go interview the dead kid's parents when thankfully my mom found out and stopped us."


That could've gone very wrong.

"Bungie jumping from the tree out front of my house. With a rope tied around my waist. Dad found me asleep hanging from the tree an hour later."


How did they think this was a good idea?

"I learned that the shape of proteins make up stuff in your body, such as your eye color."

"I wished I had different colored eyes."

"I learned that proteins get denatured (change shape) when put in certain conditions, such as high temperature."

"Fast forward to me boiling a pot of water under my face in hopes of the steam changing my eye color."



"I wondered what would happen if I stapled my thumb. Answer was it f**king hurt and bled."


"I once did that too, but it wasn't serious at all. Told my friend about it, and he didn't believe me saying 'you would stop when it starts to hurt.' Then he tried to show me how you can't do it and stapled his thumb, only deeper."


So I failed...

"In 9th grade biology class in the late 80s I had an idea to cure AIDS. I made it my science fair project. I thought that if you can keep the patient in a sterile environment (like the boy in the bubble) and suppress white cell production, the virus would starve. I even looked up the name of the drug that could suppress the white dell production."

"Then once there was no trace of the virus, administer a white cell boosting drug an BOOM. AIDS free. Unfortunately, the effort I put into this post is about the same as the effort I put into the science fair project. So I failed. AND the science teacher told me that the virus would probably mutate to thrive off of other types of cells."


Hey Mario...

Mushroom Love GIF by Oklahoma FungiGiphy

"I once ate a mushroom growing from some grass near my house and went home and told my dad that I ate a mushroom and was gonna grow bigger like Mario. My dad went berserk and demanded I show him where i ate it from. It wasn't until i grew up until I realized how dangerous it could have been."



"I thought that traffic lights were all controlled by one person in a big control room with a bunch of monitors and switches. Sometimes I would wonder if it were possible to achieve contact and ask for the lights to switch faster. Or there was the time I thought my dancing, singing flowerpot that had the flowers spin would be great to curl my hair with."


10 years later...

"I thought that if I just tried really hard and got stronger that I could pick myself up by my legs and fly. No clue how long I tried that before I realized I couldn't get it to work. Coincidentally, 10 years later, I'm at my ex-gf's house and I see her younger brother sitting with his legs crossed and trying to pull them up. I proceed to ask him what he's doing and if he's alright (he was straining pretty hard). Turns out he was trying to do the exact same thing."



The Exorcist Stairs GIF by filmeditorGiphy

"That I could execute the act of flipping down the stairs. I gathered my whole family around the staircase while I sat at the top. I don’t remember whether I told them my plan or not but they all let me count down and then start falling down the stairs."


Wheels Off

"I wanted to go in tighter circles when riding my bike. My mom was napping so I found her screwdriver and took my training wheels off. Then I did go in tighter circles. It was fun until the wheels kicked out and I fell on my forehead. Hello concussion. I remember being proud I got the training wheels off, proud I could go without them, then blank, then mad freezies were on my head. I wanted to eat them."


High Above

season 4 wow GIF by PortlandiaGiphy

"There used to be a couple of paragliders that would fly above our neighborhood during summer evenings. I thought I could join them by just grabbing the corners of my security blanket and jumping off of something tall. I also did not know what hills were until I was four."


VHS Disaster

"Me and my sister's thought that our VHS player got hungry so we fed ours blocks of butter over the space of a few weeks and we pushed it in as far as it would go."

"Eventually my mum tried play a VHS tape and it wouldn't work. So she got someone out to fix it, they opened it up and found a bucket load of butter in there. Safe to to say she want best pleased."


Kids are the best, aren't they?