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Doctors Share The Most Dangerous Moment They've Ever Experienced With A Patient

This is the time for calm.

Being a doctor is an extraordinary job. Everyday you are in life and death situations and when the stakes are that high you never forget. Sometimes it is often similar to 'Grey's Anatomy'.... danger and adrenaline are running rampant. And sometimes, sadly, the patient is the enemy.

Redditor u/inlovewithspace asked doctors to share about the times that may have gotten them a little nervous by wondering..... Psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists/doctors of reddit - what was the most dangerous moment you have lived through while with a patient?

"ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI!! HOLY CRAP!! WHAT AN HONOR!!"

Giphy

Therapist here. This happened to a mentor of mine.

He was working in a community clinic in another city. He was getting ready to head out for the day when the secretary pulled him aside, asking him to do an emergency intake for a client who came in claiming to be in crisis. Mentor agrees and heads to the waiting room to call the guy back.

Mentor said as soon as he opened the door to the waiting room he had a weird feeling. He brought the guy back to his office and made the decision to sit behind his desk for the intake, something he never does.

Mentor asked the client what brought him in. The client screams, "I am St. Francis of Assisi and I am destined to die!!!" He rips open his shirt to reveal cuts all over his chest, then pulls out a knife and says, "And you are destined to die too!!!"

I honestly don't know how my mentor thought of this, but he immediately slammed his hands on the desk and screamed, "ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI!! HOLY CRAP!! WHAT AN HONOR!!" This caught the attention of the secretary who cracked open the door, saw the knife, and called the cops.

I guess my mentor spooked the guy because he took off down the hall and out a back door. The cops had a manhunt on their hands for several hours and eventually found him. Never recovered the knife.

The lesson my mentor wanted me to take from this event? "Never be afraid to be crazier than your clients."DrivingSharkBait

Michael Clarke Duncan

Wow so many stories come to mind. I've worked in both male and female prisons. One comes to mind where I (24f) was meeting with an inmate in his forties. He was double my size at least. For reference looked a similar size to Michael Clarke Duncan. He had sever anger issues and we had been meeting so I could provide psych testing. He has developmentally delayed and because of his size when he got mad he could pick up and throw a whole metal trash bin.

He told me he goes into rage blackouts and didn't want to hurt me if he ever got mad. He told me he likes roses and fake ones worked too. I bought some at a store and kept them on me. Sure enough one day another staff member kept coming in the office to interrupt us. Eventually asked us to terminate the session early. I saw him boiling up about to blow. He stood up and clenched his fists. I handed him the flowers and he sat back down sort of petting them till he calmed down.

I've been working with inmates for years. Been in between inmates fighting, been around pepper spray, severe self-harm, threats, those moments where you realize the person across from you is a psychopath who truly wants to hurt you, but I never felt like something really bad was going to happen to me or someone else then if I hadn't have listened to him and had those flowers. xxDr-Beckyxx

The stories are endless.

Oh boy. The stories are endless. The story that sticks out the most right now is:

New therapist, still in graduate school/in training. I was working at an inpatient facility unit, my job was to basically "interview" patients upon arrival. Keep in mind, most patients do NOT want to be there and are there against their will. I'm the first face they see. I was working overnights where I am the only staff in the entire wing until patients are ready to move to the unit.

So one night I have a list of who is coming in from the hospital. I meet with one person, mind you I don't remember much about this person. Every door you walk through locks with a code behind you. I go into the room with this patient. We talk, I give them paper work or whatever. For some reason I completely blank on the code to get out. Absolutely cannot remember it, trying to keep my cool I tell them I'm going to sit with them for a little while until whatever reason I made up to seem fitting. The more anxious I am the further I blank. I try numerous codes, patient knows what's up but is cool enough about it despite my embarrassment. Eventually I figure it out.

Next client on the list? Repeated offender, anti-social diagnosis (previously known as sociopath), real rough around the edges antagonistic individual. All I could think is wow, if that had happened one person later I would have been in a really bad spot.

Not long after I switched to day shifts where we had two employees working the "interviews" and staff all around. throwaway242577

Next Ward Please....

I've been the subject of erotomania in my patient with psychosis.

Erotomania is listed in the DSM-5 as a subtype of a delusional disorder. It is a relatively uncommon paranoid condition that is characterized by an individual's delusions of another person being infatuated with them. (...) The object of the delusion is typically unattainable due to high social or financial status, marriage or disinterest. The object of obsession may also be imaginary, deceased or someone the patient has never met. Delusions of reference are common, as the erotomanic individual often perceives that they are being sent messages from the secret admirer through innocuous events such as seeing license plates from specific states.

Apparently I look like his ex-wife - who he tried to strangle. He was staring at me, completely fixated, during the admission interview which is not uncommon. I started to be the only person who could convince him to take his medication, de-escalate aggressive episodes, etc. Then all the love letters started to be slipped under the door to the nurses' station.

He was moved to the next ward, and required restraint and seclusion because he choked a nurse to try and steal his keys to get back to my ward. Last I heard, he was offering money to other patients who would be discharged soon to hang around the car park between 6 - 7 PM to figure out which car I drive. manlikerealities

Intern Days. 

I (22F) was an intern in the internal medicine area, I entered a triple room (one room, three patients) and greet the first patient (about 55M), who had just arrived from ER, to recover from a heart attack.

Without any notice, he got up and started to beat the crap out of me, ripping his IV lines and monitor in the process. I tried to defend me and the family members from the other beds and nurses came to help me and submit him (with the help of a dose of diazepan).

Turns out, he had had an massive stroke a year which damaged his frontal lobe and cortex leaving him extremely aggressive, (that's also why he didn't had any family with him).

Another time, also as an intern (in a public hospital from one of the most dangerous Mexican cities, in 2012 just where the drug war was at it's height) a senior lady came for a breast tumor, but upon seeing it, we decided it was far too advanced for any surgery or treatment, palliative care was all we can do for her. Her son, while carrying a gun (prohibited by law and only carried by mafia) threatened the oncologist and me that he'll come to us if anything happened to her momma. I finished my term in that hospital a few weeks later, and vow never to return (these and other motives). AnaPaulinaSantos

"Oscar"

I used to have an elderly patient we'll call Oscar that started offering me a dime to sit in his lap when I was 16, it was a bit uncomfortable and I would weakly laugh it off until he took that as license to start offering me money to do some seriously messed up and dirty things. I didn't laugh anymore when they would say stuff to me anymore after that, just ignored it completely. WordsAsWeapons79

"Sucker Man"

I worked housekeeping fora nursing home for a while. There was a guy in there we called "Sucker Man" because he would always ask us to hand him a sucker. He was known to go into rage fits, and the only housekeepers he would even let in his room were me and Shelby (not real name). I had seen him get physical with a couple nurses, but fortunately the one time his rage turned towards me it was an easy fix. He dropped one of his suckers on the floor (which I had not yet cleaned) so I swept it up.

Sucker Man asked me to give it back to him and I told him I wouldn't since it had been on the floor. He grabbed his sippy cup and was about to throw it at me screaming "God damn it, you son of a b****!" but I took a step back towards his bookshelf— where his suckers were stored. I handed him another one and it was smooth sailing from there. bardicly-inclined

"it's still here!"

Social worker here. At one time I had a job as a clinical case manager on an adolescent residential unit at a psychiatric hospital. One of my clients had visit with his mom, who lived a couple of hours away. The was the first time in about six years he was allowed to visit her. It was a big deal. Per the plan, I drove him to her house (where he grew up), but when we get there we find out she's at the methadone clinic. So we drive to the clinic, getting lost along the way (this is pre smart-phones) and end up driving through a seriously sketchy neighborhood, eventually find her waiting outside the clinic, and then go back to her house.

We're all in the front room, and my client is pacing around, checking stuff out, and then out of nowhere walks to the sofa, reaches behind it and pulls out a rifle. He's got a big smile on his face, and he says "it's still here!" Then he looks over at me, says "it's not loaded" and looks at his mom and says "is it?" She says something to the effect of "Jesus Christ, give me that," like he was playing with the remote or something, and casually puts it back behind the sofa. He's smiling and mumbling to himself, she's checked out and looks bored, and I'm about to jump out of my skin.

I suggested we continue the visit at the local McDonalds... my treat. Which we did. Afterwards we dropped her off, and headed back to the hospital. My client was eventually discharged into a transitional living program for young adults. I never forgot him, or that visit. gregorja

Strangled. 

I work in addiction medicine. Had a schizoaffective patient that would come in every so often after going off his meds and going on a cocaine and heroin bender. The last time I saw him, he was off his meds, high as a kite, and actively hallucinating that there were monsters in the room. He told me that's what he saw and he was watching them while he talked to me.

Everything was ok at first, but the second I put my stethoscope on his chest, it was like a switch flipped. I saw muscles clench and he stopped answering questions and got this thousand yard stare. I immediately got a sinking feeling in my stomach and had the clearest thought that, "this dude is going to strangle me with my stethoscope."

I stepped back and said, "ok, we're done," and he got up and walked out into the hall. Stat dose of haldol and all ended well, but he scared the shit out of me in that moment. unoriginalnames

It's All Flawed. 

I worked in an ER once with a secure mental health unit. Serious design flaw however, there was an access point into the ceiling in the bathroom. Dude climbed into the ceiling and tried to escape the hospital however made it a few feet and crashed through the ceiling into the clinicians write up room. To say we were somewhat startled was an understatement. Luckily we had security in there at the time who pounced on him before he could get up. craycraxy

The Break. 

I worked in an Emergency Department. A psychiatrist was seeing a patient in her office when the patient snapped and started stabbing the hell out of her. An off-duty cop in the waiting room heard her screaming, ran into the office and shot the patient. They both arrived in the ED at the same time. She lived (barely) and he died from a GSW to the head. That was a bad, bad day. chaosoneactual

"brush the bugs off"

I used to do psych rehab in the community and had a couple scary clients.

One was EXTREMELY ill. He was about twice my weight and had 1.5 feet on me (5'2" 115 pound female) he was sitting next to me and kept trying to "brush the bugs off" my upper thigh and then told me he was "gonna cut my arms and head off and watch me rot in hell" I called 911 and he was taken to the hospital and released that night, I called his provider to report he needed care and the hospital released him and he refused to even adjust his meds.

I had another client that HATED me. He was on house arrest for attempted murder and I would DREAD his visits because he would fly off the handle for absolutely no reason, like if I wouldn't let him use my cell phone or drive him somewhere.

I quit.

iamcurrentlyp00pin

"home & community"

I did in home work family therapy. I had a parent who lived in a remote area and sessions usually ended in the early evening. They had some pretty significant mental health issues and had identified me as the primary cause of a lot of their current stressors (communicating with child welfare services/crisis services when there was a risk of harm). One evening they were pretty agitated and started telling me how much they hated me, and to prove it they described the very specific dream they'd had the night before of decapitating me and throwing my body parts into the local river.

I immediately left (of course it was winter and icy and dark) and they screamed at me from their front porch that I couldn't abandon them while I drove off.

Honestly, I really believe in the "home & community" therapeutic model - but one of the main reasons why I left is that it felt inherently unsafe. I worked with women with abusive husband's who absolutely knew I was helping them plan to leave. Parents who knew they were going to lose their children based on the work we did/ what I reported. You get a lot of work done sitting at someone's kitchen table, but the trade off the safety and security of working in public space. littledinosaurtickle

"get my phone"

I was a mental health tech. I quit after a client, a man in his 40s who also was way taller than me, cornered me in the library and tried to "get my phone" from my back pocket, wouldn't let me leave. I had basically no support there and was left as the only one working the floor. He followed me everywhere and made sexual comments toward me for the entirety of my 12 hour shift. I was 19 and in school. He actually fled the facility after I left, and is still in the city somewhere which always scares me. He was fresh out of prison and was actually supposed to go back if he didn't complete the program. wolverineismydad

stuck in his leg....

Working in the ER one day a guy came in with a fork or some utensil stuck in his leg. I've seen way more crazy crap come through so i didn't think twice about it. About 20 seconds later a car comes screening to a stop just outside the doors and a young lady runs in and yells "don't give him pain medication, he did that to himself!" Truth is she didn't have to do that because narcotic seekers are always flagged in the system, but it was a great show. Point is, people will do seriously crazy things to get high. Weiner_Queefer_9000

Gravel Pit Jim." 

Used to work 911, had a frequent flyer who we affectionately called "Gravel Pit Jim." Jim was crazy as hell and a felon, and lived out of his car at an old gravel pit (hence the name). I can't remember what his deal was but he checked all the behavioral-disorder boxes that started with schizo. A part-time drug addict, he called pretty reliably with the inside scoop on the local dealers. Literally every call I took from this guy stared "So I got this intelligence" which would lead to him tattling on his dope man. This was actually pretty useful, and our units learned a lot from his leads.

Jim and I got to be somewhat familiar, he'd call the suicide hotline who would aggravate him or simply hang up, and then he'd contact us in a rage. We talked enough that he decided he liked me, and he'd typically call around eleven or midnight, almost on a schedule. I can't say I was ever personal with the guy, he'd talk and I'd listen, but we'd go around for a while and then we'd move on with our nights. I treated him human, if nothing else. If he called and got anybody different, he'd ask for me, and then dutifully wait while I cleared up whatever crisis and got to him. Not friendly, but cordial.

He and I did this for around a year, then one night he drove off a bridge with me on the phone. For whatever reason he decided to come into our jurisdiction (a large bridge led into it) and he aimed for the guardrail. Don't know why, he didn't say anything different or special from what I can remember, he just checked out. I always kinda had the suspicion he was coming to see me, maybe it was for the best that way, probably he realized that. He wasn't the first guy who died on my line or even the most graphic, but he was definitely the one I knew the best. CSPANSPAM

"fist-fights"

Therapist, worked in a severe behavior school, lots of "fist-fights" with teens, sometimes a foot taller than me.

By fist fights I mean, me dodging their punches and trying to get them in the state legal restraint that assumed you would be bigger than the person you were restraining. Very stressful job while I had it, but never boring and very rewarding as these teens respected the shit out of me and would really listen to my advice, barring black out rages. ThaJourneyRing

Must have been quite a sight.

When I was working at a care facility as a nurse aide a giant man came in with alcohol induced dementia (these patients are always high risk for being extremely aggressive and violent) he had plenty of issues the first day he came. Attempting to run away harassing the women trying to start fights with the men. The average age of people I cared for was mid 70 but this man was in his late 50s so we had to keep a close eye on him.

As the strong woman of the team I was always the one called to help manage him incase he got violent. After about a week he decided he has had enough of me impeding on his life in such a way and decided to go for me. So there I was a 23 yo girl 5'10 at 145 lbs trying to keep a 6'5 250 lb muscular man from strangling me with a belt and the only support I had was a 5' tall scared girl tugging on his shirt the best she can in an attempt to pull him off of me all while a bunch of elderly people stood around us screaming. Must have been quite a sight.

Fortunately I was able to get out of the hold he had on me and some other men who worked in the facility were able to keep him from harming others until he calmed down. The next day he was transferred to a better equipped facility but goodness that was a rough week. koalabearsrus

9 stories up. 

My dad was a social worker / case worker for a very long time in SF in the 70's, and as the story has been related to me by him, by my half brother's mom (his wife at the time), my half brother, and my dad's best friend, he got a call saying one of his cases was having a break and had locked herself in a hotel room.

So my dad finds the room, can't get in, goes to the room directly above it, climbs out of their balcony, and lowers himself onto his case's balcony - 9 stories up. 9.

He then gets inside, just as she cuts both of her wrists and starts coming at him with the knife. He gets the knife, dunno what he did with it, bear hugs her, and carries her into the elevator and then out onto the street where an ambulance was waiting. The police finally showed up about 5 minutes after the whole thing ended.

Comes home covered in blood. iph0ne

"they.... are telling me to stab you"

This monster of a man (easily 2 meters tall and 200+kilo) with the emotional intelligence of a baby. He was told there were no activities for the day and couldn't cope with that and started smashing the place up. Police were called, thank god he did not attack any staff or residents. He looked like he could squeeze my brain out with two of his fingers.

Co-worker had some resident face him with a knife and say "they (the voices in his head) are telling me to stab you". Co-worker told him that was not true and to put the knife away, which he did.

Please note that people with a schizophrenic disorder are waaaaay more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrator. In this case, there was no violence. VloekenenVentileren

REDDIT

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Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?