When are we ever going to learn? Don't keep naughty photos! Stop taking them! Or take them on a polaroid, polaroids are unhackable. We can't just leave these images on our devices (devices that are all connected by the way) all willy nilly.
And never mind the hacking, half the time we're our own worst enemies. We constantly end up flashing the wrong photos, videos, and images at the most inappropriate times. Besides being outrageously embarrassing, some of those wrong moments could be illegal.
Just when we think we're about to show the latest family Christmas photo at an innocent baby shower/BAM... a video from the one-nighter with your best friend's husband pops up. That's a Pandora's Box you can't close.
Redditor u/PeterChai wanted to hear about the most scandalous images and messages we've let slip on our devices, by asking:
What's the most NSFW thing you've accidentally shown someone while using your phone or computer?
I am obsessed with the security of my devices. I take my phone and sometimes my computer into the bathroom, just in case. And they are fingerprint protected. Mainly because you never know who could break in but also, I know I have content that is not for my mama to stumble across.
Damn Explorer
scared parents GIF
Giphy
"Doing a group project at university, in front of the whole group I went to open a file in Explorer and it opened straight to my porn folder. Which was set to thumbnail mode."
"the secret"
"I was showing a new hire at work how to log into the app we used to track attendance/schedules and after your login it showed you a QR code you could use to punch in. I then told him "the secret" which was to screenshot the QR code and that way you didn't have to log in every time to punch, just scan your QR code. I then opened my gallery and showed him... a lot more of me than anyone at work should see. Remember what apps you've left open!"
Sorry Rabbi...
"As a young 12yo boy I was practicing for my bar mitzfah with my rabbi. He took my phone to show me something related to Judaism, and low and behold he found the porn I accidentally left on my browser. The rest of that religious lesson was a lecture about how porn isn't real sex and I shouldn't get the wrong idea. Super embarrassing but at least he was cool about it and didn't tell my parents."
- veggainz
Meatus...
"I sent a Wikipedia link of a penis to my in-laws as a risqué joke but it backfired when the text link turned into a full color image of an actual person's penis and testicles with labels. It was far more explicit than intended but now I can say I sent a penis pic to my wife's parents and lived... And that's how I learned the word Meatus."
Is that me?
Cringe Look Away GIF by Night Drive
Giphy
"Well my mother accidentally showed me the home video of my own birth. It was on a VHS tape and it was of my parents wedding and boom half way through it just cuts to my mother spread eagle and me crowning. I've never been right since."
Oof, so much porn. Why do we save so much of it? It's free and always easy to access. I've had mine set off in my pocket, on my bluetooth. Imagine how that went?
Sorry Dad
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIX
Giphy
"Was showing my dad's friend pictures of me and my friends on my phone while he was visiting one day. Accidentally swiped onto a close up picture of my boobs that I had taken for my boyfriend a few days earlier. That was real awkward."
"nothing"
"One time I was watching an anime and this one scene had a guy in a small towel thrusting his hips and shouting "We're going to take the plunge deeper and deeper!" come on, just as my brother walked in. The fact that I jumped, immediately closed the browser and said "nothing" when he asked what I was watching did not help."
"DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE!!!"
"I went to boarding school in the earlyish 2000s, the go to prank was making someone's laptop background porn. One day I got a good grade and I wanted to show my dad. I got home, excited and told him "DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE", opened my laptop, and boom, a close up of two very fit bros mid coitus was set as my background. My father is a very stern, emotionally vacant stereotype of a midwestern father. He paused for a while. It felt like an hour but couldn't have been more than a few seconds. I was so panicked that I kinda locked up."
"He put his hand on my shoulder in an oddly tender way. "I love you no matter what, but you could've come out in a more subtle way probably." Explaining to him that it was in fact a prank and not me coming out was quite complicated. And that is how I accidentally showed my father gay porn."
Say Cheese!
"Cheese bikini… and I tried to play it off like it's explainable. Kid's mom at my nephews bday party, I was showing her cakes cause my mom makes cool cakes for the kids parties so was showing prior parties cakes. Whatsapp auto saves to roll, friend sent a picture of a plump woman, lovely lady no judgement, wearing Velveeta slices as a bikini… cheese bikini."
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Bad Stool
little girl good job GIF
Giphy
"I didn't know that pepto bismol turned your stools very dark. Thought I had cancer. Took a pic to show my doctor. Forgot that everything went straight to Amazon photos. The call from my wife was interesting."
- harag888
WICKEDWHIMS
"My WickedWhims Sims 4 mods…"
"Oh God. I can relate to this. I remember my friends crowded around my laptop to look at some specific file in my downloads folder (forgot which one) and of course the file right below it was some WickedWhims add-on with some title like "PENIS WICKEDWHIMS" or something. I was mortified. Thankfully my friends didn't say anything, so either they truly didn't notice or decided to spare me from the embarrassment."
dodged a bullet...
"Wasn't me but a co worker for some reason was trying to show this girl his search history and prove that he doesn't watch porn to her (he was trying to get in her pants) and me and my bud were there watching as he's showing this and all we saw on the history was "symptoms of chlamydia" and we proceeded to burst out laughing. Turns out he actually did have it. She dodged a bullet if she was ever gonna do anything with the guy."
Good enough...
"My mum, sister and I went to see the UK tour of Rock Of Ages and we met one of the actors and we had a selfie with him and he jokingly clicked on the photo to "check if it was good enough." And he swiped by accident on my sister's phone and we all saw her full naked body 🤦🏻."
Fail Search
Oh My Wow GIF by TV Land
Giphy
"My cousin wanted to search BJ's Wholesale Club but she just typed in BJs."
"Is that your wife?"
"I have an artful black and white nude picture I took of my wife as my home screen on my phone. It's one of those tasteful types with no "sensitive" parts showing but it's still clearly a nude. I had to replace the protective screen on my phone so I took it in to the AT&T store to get one and the lady behind the counter offers to change it for me."
"Without even thinking I thumb the button and throw my unlocked phone on the counter. She looks at the phone, then at my wedding ring, back at the phone, and says "Is that your wife?" I could barely mumble a yes as I realized what just happened and she was nice enough to say "She's very pretty and you two make a great couple."
"I don't think I said anything else except thank you and I am quite sure I turned about forty seven shades of red before I could scurry out of there. I went home and told my wife about it and she left a very sweet five star review for the lady."
(insert name here)
"I was scrolling through Twitter in my history class as I usually did when I had completed all of my schoolwork, but one of the tweets was the pornhub intro. I panicked and scrolled away as someone would do in that situation, and at first no one really responded so I began to think no one noticed."
"Then out of no where one of the girls in the back of my class said "Hey (insert name here) are you watching porn!?!" So obviously I went into full panic mode and tried my best to explain it was some meme on Twitter, but before I could finish my sentence the girl said "Hey don't worry about it. We all watch porn there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"At this point the whole class including my teacher was just staring me down. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't respond, so I just kinda put my head down and started "working on some home work" also known as me writing something down in my notebook."
Sorry Boss
"My wife sent random nudes while I was trying to show my female boss a picture of my kid that my wife had previously sent me. The message thread scrolled all the way down when the photo came through flashing her boobs to my boss."
- roll_hog
Say Cheese!
Mariah Carey Pictures GIF
Giphy
"My brother was looking through my camera to look at a car show I was at and I forgot I took a bunch of pictures of the girl I was dating. He just stopped was like "nice" it took me a minute to realize he got to the pictures of her."
Yay Vin!
"When I was a teacher, I usually had my computer screen displayed on the smartboard so I could reference online material. One lunch hour, a student who knew I was an action movie fan told me that there was a new XXX (Triple X, those Vin Diesel movies) coming out. I was excited, and without really thinking about it I typed in XXX into my search bar and hit 'enter'. I meant to type 'XXX trailer', but yeah. A giant list of porn websites showed up on the computer and the class started laughing."
Florida Trip
"A few years ago, I was showing a friend/co-worker some pictures I had shot while on vacation in Florida. I was just swiping through, telling him the story of the picture, where it was, etc... and then hit a picture of me and my (at the time) wife in the hotel."
"You couldn't see much of me, but, was an amazing view of my wife, fully naked, in cowgirl position, straddling me, and leaning back. I just said, "That's Sammie, obviously. We were at the hotel in bed in this shot...", He laughed, I laughed, and I never told my wife that one of my co-workers had seen her naked and with me."
Followers
"Back when I had Twitter I used to follow a few pornstars I'm a fan of, anyway in addition I followed a few political figure accounts as well. Anyway on day I had seen a tweet from a political commentator I thought my parents should see since they didn't have Twitter so I bring up my Twitter on their laptop and in a brief moment of realization it dawned on me there's a decent chance they may see something they're not at all expecting. Sure enough there's a pic of Jenaveve Jolie spread eagle. Horrified describes my reaction Best."
Be careful and precise with your phones. They have minds of their own sometimes. And keep your less... wholesome images, on a separate drive. Private love making and bowel movements should stay that way.
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I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
Black Friday Nbc GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
sushi GIFGiphy"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
Janet Jackson Reaction GIFGiphy"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
Happy GIFGiphy"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
Circle Of Life Loop GIFGiphy"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
Nbc Im Done GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
customer service waiter GIFGiphy"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
Admit It Tell The Truth GIF by TV LandGiphy"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
move leading GIFGiphy"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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