When are we ever going to learn? Don't keep naughty photos! Stop taking them! Or take them on a polaroid, polaroids are unhackable. We can't just leave these images on our devices (devices that are all connected by the way) all willy nilly.
And never mind the hacking, half the time we're our own worst enemies. We constantly end up flashing the wrong photos, videos, and images at the most inappropriate times. Besides being outrageously embarrassing, some of those wrong moments could be illegal.
Just when we think we're about to show the latest family Christmas photo at an innocent baby shower/BAM... a video from the one-nighter with your best friend's husband pops up. That's a Pandora's Box you can't close.
Redditoru/PeterChaiwanted to hear about the most scandalous images and messages we've let slip on our devices, by asking:
What's the most NSFW thing you've accidentally shown someone while using your phone or computer?
I am obsessed with the security of my devices. I take my phone and sometimes my computer into the bathroom, just in case. And they are fingerprint protected. Mainly because you never know who could break in but also, I know I have content that is not for my mama to stumble across.
Damn Explorer
scared parents GIFGiphy"Doing a group project at university, in front of the whole group I went to open a file in Explorer and it opened straight to my porn folder. Which was set to thumbnail mode."
"the secret"
"I was showing a new hire at work how to log into the app we used to track attendance/schedules and after your login it showed you a QR code you could use to punch in. I then told him "the secret" which was to screenshot the QR code and that way you didn't have to log in every time to punch, just scan your QR code. I then opened my gallery and showed him... a lot more of me than anyone at work should see. Remember what apps you've left open!"
Sorry Rabbi...
"As a young 12yo boy I was practicing for my bar mitzfah with my rabbi. He took my phone to show me something related to Judaism, and low and behold he found the porn I accidentally left on my browser. The rest of that religious lesson was a lecture about how porn isn't real sex and I shouldn't get the wrong idea. Super embarrassing but at least he was cool about it and didn't tell my parents."
- veggainz
Meatus...
"I sent a Wikipedia link of a penis to my in-laws as a risqué joke but it backfired when the text link turned into a full color image of an actual person's penis and testicles with labels. It was far more explicit than intended but now I can say I sent a penis pic to my wife's parents and lived... And that's how I learned the word Meatus."
Is that me?
Cringe Look Away GIF by Night DriveGiphy"Well my mother accidentally showed me the home video of my own birth. It was on a VHS tape and it was of my parents wedding and boom half way through it just cuts to my mother spread eagle and me crowning. I've never been right since."
Oof, so much porn. Why do we save so much of it? It's free and always easy to access. I've had mine set off in my pocket, on my bluetooth. Imagine how that went?
Sorry Dad
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Was showing my dad's friend pictures of me and my friends on my phone while he was visiting one day. Accidentally swiped onto a close up picture of my boobs that I had taken for my boyfriend a few days earlier. That was real awkward."
"nothing"
"One time I was watching an anime and this one scene had a guy in a small towel thrusting his hips and shouting "We're going to take the plunge deeper and deeper!" come on, just as my brother walked in. The fact that I jumped, immediately closed the browser and said "nothing" when he asked what I was watching did not help."
"DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE!!!"
"I went to boarding school in the earlyish 2000s, the go to prank was making someone's laptop background porn. One day I got a good grade and I wanted to show my dad. I got home, excited and told him "DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE", opened my laptop, and boom, a close up of two very fit bros mid coitus was set as my background. My father is a very stern, emotionally vacant stereotype of a midwestern father. He paused for a while. It felt like an hour but couldn't have been more than a few seconds. I was so panicked that I kinda locked up."
"He put his hand on my shoulder in an oddly tender way. "I love you no matter what, but you could've come out in a more subtle way probably." Explaining to him that it was in fact a prank and not me coming out was quite complicated. And that is how I accidentally showed my father gay porn."
Say Cheese!
"Cheese bikini… and I tried to play it off like it's explainable. Kid's mom at my nephews bday party, I was showing her cakes cause my mom makes cool cakes for the kids parties so was showing prior parties cakes. Whatsapp auto saves to roll, friend sent a picture of a plump woman, lovely lady no judgement, wearing Velveeta slices as a bikini… cheese bikini."
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Bad Stool
little girl good job GIFGiphy"I didn't know that pepto bismol turned your stools very dark. Thought I had cancer. Took a pic to show my doctor. Forgot that everything went straight to Amazon photos. The call from my wife was interesting."
- harag888
WICKEDWHIMS
"My WickedWhims Sims 4 mods…"
"Oh God. I can relate to this. I remember my friends crowded around my laptop to look at some specific file in my downloads folder (forgot which one) and of course the file right below it was some WickedWhims add-on with some title like "PENIS WICKEDWHIMS" or something. I was mortified. Thankfully my friends didn't say anything, so either they truly didn't notice or decided to spare me from the embarrassment."
dodged a bullet...
"Wasn't me but a co worker for some reason was trying to show this girl his search history and prove that he doesn't watch porn to her (he was trying to get in her pants) and me and my bud were there watching as he's showing this and all we saw on the history was "symptoms of chlamydia" and we proceeded to burst out laughing. Turns out he actually did have it. She dodged a bullet if she was ever gonna do anything with the guy."
Good enough...
"My mum, sister and I went to see the UK tour of Rock Of Ages and we met one of the actors and we had a selfie with him and he jokingly clicked on the photo to "check if it was good enough." And he swiped by accident on my sister's phone and we all saw her full naked body 🤦🏻."
Fail Search
Oh My Wow GIF by TV LandGiphy"My cousin wanted to search BJ's Wholesale Club but she just typed in BJs."
"Is that your wife?"
"I have an artful black and white nude picture I took of my wife as my home screen on my phone. It's one of those tasteful types with no "sensitive" parts showing but it's still clearly a nude. I had to replace the protective screen on my phone so I took it in to the AT&T store to get one and the lady behind the counter offers to change it for me."
"Without even thinking I thumb the button and throw my unlocked phone on the counter. She looks at the phone, then at my wedding ring, back at the phone, and says "Is that your wife?" I could barely mumble a yes as I realized what just happened and she was nice enough to say "She's very pretty and you two make a great couple."
"I don't think I said anything else except thank you and I am quite sure I turned about forty seven shades of red before I could scurry out of there. I went home and told my wife about it and she left a very sweet five star review for the lady."
(insert name here)
"I was scrolling through Twitter in my history class as I usually did when I had completed all of my schoolwork, but one of the tweets was the pornhub intro. I panicked and scrolled away as someone would do in that situation, and at first no one really responded so I began to think no one noticed."
"Then out of no where one of the girls in the back of my class said "Hey (insert name here) are you watching porn!?!" So obviously I went into full panic mode and tried my best to explain it was some meme on Twitter, but before I could finish my sentence the girl said "Hey don't worry about it. We all watch porn there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"At this point the whole class including my teacher was just staring me down. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't respond, so I just kinda put my head down and started "working on some home work" also known as me writing something down in my notebook."
Sorry Boss
"My wife sent random nudes while I was trying to show my female boss a picture of my kid that my wife had previously sent me. The message thread scrolled all the way down when the photo came through flashing her boobs to my boss."
- roll_hog
Say Cheese!
Mariah Carey Pictures GIFGiphy"My brother was looking through my camera to look at a car show I was at and I forgot I took a bunch of pictures of the girl I was dating. He just stopped was like "nice" it took me a minute to realize he got to the pictures of her."
Yay Vin!
"When I was a teacher, I usually had my computer screen displayed on the smartboard so I could reference online material. One lunch hour, a student who knew I was an action movie fan told me that there was a new XXX (Triple X, those Vin Diesel movies) coming out. I was excited, and without really thinking about it I typed in XXX into my search bar and hit 'enter'. I meant to type 'XXX trailer', but yeah. A giant list of porn websites showed up on the computer and the class started laughing."
Florida Trip
"A few years ago, I was showing a friend/co-worker some pictures I had shot while on vacation in Florida. I was just swiping through, telling him the story of the picture, where it was, etc... and then hit a picture of me and my (at the time) wife in the hotel."
"You couldn't see much of me, but, was an amazing view of my wife, fully naked, in cowgirl position, straddling me, and leaning back. I just said, "That's Sammie, obviously. We were at the hotel in bed in this shot...", He laughed, I laughed, and I never told my wife that one of my co-workers had seen her naked and with me."
Followers
"Back when I had Twitter I used to follow a few pornstars I'm a fan of, anyway in addition I followed a few political figure accounts as well. Anyway on day I had seen a tweet from a political commentator I thought my parents should see since they didn't have Twitter so I bring up my Twitter on their laptop and in a brief moment of realization it dawned on me there's a decent chance they may see something they're not at all expecting. Sure enough there's a pic of Jenaveve Jolie spread eagle. Horrified describes my reaction Best."
Be careful and precise with your phones. They have minds of their own sometimes. And keep your less... wholesome images, on a separate drive. Private love making and bowel movements should stay that way.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
No Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
Chris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
