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Disabled People Share Their Most Frustrating Experiences With The Able-Bodied

Anybody who is even slightly different than the average population knows that feeling of looking into the camera like you're on The Office feeling of frustration when you're talking to a normal person.

People who have a difference of ability must accumulate these frustrating experiences faster than any other. We take things like our hearing, our sight, our mobility, for granted so intensely that we probably can't help but piss them off.


u/Griffin1102 asked:

Disabled people of Reddit, what is your most "bruh" moment with an abled person?

Here were some of those answers.


Do You Know Which Sense I'm Referring To?

Giphy

So many. i'm Deaf.

Most common are me finding the email contacts on websites and writing, asking for information and proactively stating that i'm Deaf and can't use the phone. [Yes, there's relay but people hang up and it takes way long and not all operators are equal and.....it's just not good]
i'd say at least 50% of the time i get back a non-form letter, so i know they read my comment word for word....but still want me to call them.

Nope, still Deaf : 0

That and the braille menu being offered at restaurants. [ many Deaf, like myself, will hold eye contact *hard* - because we're speech-reading. how you could offer braille to someone who's staring you down just ....gobsmacks me. ]

grayfae

Please Think, Teach

One of my best friends was born with only one arm, and freshman year of high school in computer class he got yelled at for not having both hands on the keyboard.

AvatarLebowski

When You're All But Speechless

Was born with Achilles tendons that don't stretch properly and are very prone to injury due to thinning and weakness. After one really bad tear caused by a fall down the stairs, I was using a wheelchair and while waiting in line at the store, I had a man old enough to be my grandfather PICK UP the back of my chair so he could cut me in line. I was so shocked I didn't say anything, just stared in horror.

FrizzTheWizard

Ha....Ha?

One of my arms is unusable and notably under-developed, so I do everything with one hand. Once during a meeting with my supervisor, he said something to the effect of, "It's a tough task the first time you do it, but in a few months you'll be able to do it with one hand behind your back." And I was like, "Well I guess that depends which hand..."

The look on his face was great. I actually love making jokes like that with people because you can tell they don't know how to respond.

Jwalla83

You're Gettin' Kinda Brave There

I am both visually impaired and have Cerebral Palsy. I asked a woman for directions to the bathroom on my first visit to a store. She led me to the bathroom, cool. Then she followed me into the bathroom. I was thinking that maybe she had to go to. Then she tried to follow me into the stall. At that point, I had to explain that 'no, ma'am, I do not need help using the bathroom.'

Mokohi

I Think We're Alone Now...Thankfully

Can I tell on myself? I volunteer as a guide for disabled athletes. One athlete I was working out with is blind. She had her dog, and was holding my arm. It's a night, so I had a headlamp.

Anyway, when it's about time to turn around, she wants to let her dog off the harness so he can pee. She squats down to undo the buckles and I...shine my headlamp on the harness, thinking I'm being helpful.

Once I realized what I was doing, I quickly stood up and looked around to see if anyone had seen me being dumb.

tinyahjumma

Justice AND The Stars

There was a blind kid studying to be a lawyer at my college and I compared him to daredevil. His hearing was exceptional and he was a great student. I think he told someone who asked why he wanted to be a lawyer, "Well justice is blind."

wayofwisdomlbw

Can Still See, Bruh

I'm deaf. One day in Astronomy 100 I was sitting up front (part of an accommodation for me) with an interpreter. After class a girl came up to me and straight up asked me if I could read. Think about this for a second. I'm taking classes at a university. I know she meant well, but still. I told her I could. She handed me a note; on the note she said that she could take notes for me if I needed it. It was a nice gesture, but a really dumb question.

br0b1wan

The Prefix Doesn't Mean It's The Same Thing

I manage a Welfare unit at a good number of festivals and I usually work beside the same medic company. I was chatting to a new trainee paramedic while we were having a cigarette. I happened to mention that I am epileptic and she then asked me if I have an epi-pen.

It took her a long time to work out why I was looking at her as if she was the dumbest b*tch alive. Didn't go down too well with the head medic either.

Pyronarix

Update Shmupdate

Giphy

Local nightclub had new owners so they did some "updates" on the building as well as the name change. I went there because I knew it was accessible.

Turns out one of the changes they made was to change how to get to the bathrooms, there was a wall where the slope was and the ONLY way was the three stairs. By the time I realized that I needed to use it and was unhappy. Talked to the manager and said that it's not cool. I know there's nothing he can do about it, I just wanted to point out how stupid that change was and that they no longer had me (or my group of friends) as customers.

He apologized and offered me free drinks for the night. I had to slowly explain why I could not accept his offer and watch his face as he realized how ignorant he proved himself to be.

Codeegirl

That Ain't It, Kid

My mom is in a wheelchair and we live in New England, a part of the country where buildings were built long before OSHA or when disabled folks were even considered peoples.

So places like restaurants have to be called to ensure they're handicapped accessible, so cue this convo:

Me: "Hi! I'm just curious if you guys are wheelchair accessible?"

Woman: "Well... we got a few steps but they're not that steep."

Cananbaum

Short Term V. Long Term

I have Spina Bifida

I work in a kitchen and on this particular shift I was with the two guys I work with. One of them had a bike ran over his leg and could barely walk and we were tasked with cleaning the splash back for our cooktops. Somebody had to do it.. with little to no input it's on me. Explaining to them both if I so much as slip the wrong way I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life (this is at a height of 2+metres) they paused and the injured one said 'well what about my leg?!' Bruh....

SenoritaSassy

I Have No Motivation To Do This

Giphy

"Why can't you go on a boat? No way you'd fall off. You can just wear a life jacket."

After I just said I have a trach, meaning water can get into my lungs and have me drown internally; I don't have the balance or body strength to hold myself above the water, due to a muscular dystrophy disease, or the ability to swim - even with a life jacket, you still bob up and down in the water, therefore get water in your body. Lol. Ignorance is so real.

theStarsShineWithinU

This Ain't Jaws, Bruh

I work with disabled people.

At my last workplace we went swimming (All adult people, group of 6 plus me and two coworkers) and I notice a strange look from some old dudes in the pool. They walked out of the pool and one of them said: "Let's get out, they may attack us"

Like the dangerous disabled people who wanted to play in the water with a ball... very dangerous.

My coworker said that things like happen quite often.

becksisbackalright

What Don't You Get About "Disorder"

Right after I finished explaining my long history (14 of my 21 years at that stage) of disordered sleep and having seen sleep doctors and tried all the usual stuff to a doctor that I was seeing for fibromyalgia management, she paused and said, "well, your fibromyalgia would be a lot more manageable if you just slept more."

...bruh.

catbert359

It Can't Just Grow Back, Linda

Probably when I went to the DMV to have my disability placard renewed. For reference, I have a prosthetic leg. I went up to the lady at the counter at the DMV and said that my placard was expiring and I needed a new one. She said that in order to get a new placard, I had to go to the doctors and get a note that said my leg was still missing. I was like, "I can pull off the leg right now for you to show you it's still missing..." And she looked more than a little flustered, but said that it was a state requirement. So I had to go to the doctors, ask him to write me a note saying that my leg was still missing so that I could get my new handicap placard. Bruh...

Warkiln

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?