Speaking a second language is a super valuable skill, and can bring about some great opportunities. Some of those opportunities are in educating folks who assume you only know one language and that they can talk about you in another without you understanding.
These confrontations can either be learning experiences for them, or just become hilarious memories for you.
Reddit user RedDevil2048 asked:
"Bilinguals of Reddit, what's your funniest story of people not knowing you speak their language?"
20.
I was at a musical festival in Germany, and there was this group of 5 Japanese guys looking kind of oddly at me and snickering. I had taken a few classes in Japanese by then so I understood WHAT they were talking about, but not exactly what they said. (Turned out they were one of the bands playing the next evening)
But it was something along the lines of "Why is that foreigner wearing a mask like that? Thought only we did it." And then some general remarks about how weird and odd my getup was, in their defense I WAS wearing a face mask with filters and a pair of welding goggles.
And as I walked past them I just remarked that I could understand them and that they were being really rude. They bowed and apologized and offered me a drink to make up for it.
Long story short, I got backstage and they were really cool guys after all.
19.
Old Japanese lady here in Brazil was selling yakisoba at the farmer's market and talking in very broken Portuguese with a heavy Japanese accent, I start talking in Japanese and she suddenly is super impressed. I got so much extra stuff on top of my yakisoba.
18.
The staff at a Korean restaurant I frequented always used to yell "your white girlfriend is here!" (in Korean) to the head waiter when I walked in, because he was the only person on staff who had some English and always served my table.
One time he good-naturedly told the other staff after they said it that I couldn't be his girlfriend because he was too short compared to me.
I took a leap and told him in Korean that I was was wearing heels right now, but would be happy to wear flats on a date.
We ended up dating for over a year before he had to go back to Korea to take care of his dad. He was the loveliest guy.
17.
I am mixed ethnicity and apparently I can pass for a japanese person. While living in Japan, I was helping a caucasian friend teach an english class. a couple of students entered the classroom and I greeted them by saying "Good evening, welcome to class" or something brief and simple like that.
Despite being a single sentence, their jaws almost dropped and they both said "wow, your english is good". I laughed and had to explain to them that I was a 4th generation japanese-american, born and raised in hawaii. english was my native language.
16.
Negotiating with vendors in Turkey. As they babbled amongst each other trying to rip me off, I'd make a super lowball offer in Turkish. the look on their faces was gold, and this happened often. Usually i got the deal as they were super embarrassed. (American who lived there 2 years, took Turkish 101 & 102 classes when i arrived.)
15.
Mine is more wholesome. I worked at a department store and this one shift I encountered a sweet but confused old man with a strong french accent trying to ask me a question in English. I just asked if it would be easier for me to speak French, in French of course, and he smiled very wide. Most people in our area only speak English, so he was glad someone was able to help him in his native language.
14.
I was in a bus, and a tourist couple was pretty much next to me talking about finding a hotel to have sex that night. The girl told him to stop saying that because someone might hear it, the guy replied "they don't understand English babe".
Well, I sure did.
13.
I mean, I live in Canada and I'm half French Canadian so lots but the best was kinda the reverse - my dad yelled out to me in the middle of a crowded grocery store that he was "bleeding from my a**hole and have to go to the bathroom" in french, thinking no one would understand. Like, three people turned around with horrified wtf faces as he walked away. I just shrugged. What can you do, guy has hemorrhoids and no sense of shame, not MY fault. Now we all have to live with this image.
12.
I was shopping and two people approached me and asked if the store had ice cream packages in English. I guided them to it (as I was heading there myself).
Once they got it, they instantly started talking Swedish (extremely poorly - Swedish is my native language) and said "how impolite I had been for not simply telling them and had felt like I was forced to lead them there."
I replied (in Swedish) "I was heading here myself, so why the hell would I simply tell you where it is?"
Both turned pale, grabbed the ice cream and hurried off.
And yes. This was in Sweden. There's literally no reason for them to assume I'd NOT speak Swedish.
11.
Some japanese cashiers had a conversation deciding if my wife's red hair was natural. As we walked away I told them it was dyed but not to tell my wife that I know.
10.
Most people don't realize that I speak Spanish fluently. I was in Mexico with my husband on vacation. We went to a restaurant. They gave us a menu with the side in English facing up. I flipped it over and the exact same menu was printed on the back in Spanish except the prices were about half that of the English version. I ordered our meals in Spanish just in case it counted towards the discount.
9.
I, an Englishman, work in a bar in the south of France. We get a lot of tourists who naturally can't speak a word of French so a lot speak English as their go-to language (regardless of their country of origin).
Maybe 2 months ago I had an English lady order at the bar - which was quiet at the time - for a big bottle of water. Pretty standard request, except we only sell bottles of water up to 50cl (or alternativley offer tap water for free).
After offering her either of these options in perfect English because y'know, I'm English, she proceeded with the stereotypical 'raise of voice, slow talking and speaking with her hands' charade.
Her: "BIG...." gestures with her hands the size of 'big' "BOT-TLE" proceeds to pretend to unscrew a cap off a bottle "WARRRTEEER" air-drinks through her imaginary bottle of water.
So I gave her a shot of gin instead.
Her husband found it hilarious. He also recognised immeditley I was from the UK but let her play it out.
Maybe not ha-ha funny, more of a "OMG we are so freaking dumb sometimes" moment.
8.
Kind of the other way. When I was younger my family and I (German) went to Greece and in a store. My grandpa started talking about how expensive that stuff there was and how cheap it looked. Then my mom found something she liked and the store owner came over to help her - in German.
7.
I understand quite a bit of Spanish, and speak a limited amount. I was at a quinceañera with a friend and was having a really bad anxiety day. One of the middle aged men sitting at the same table as us was outright talking about me in Spanish, saying I had crazy eyes and how there was something wrong with me. My friend told him I could understand him and he just went quiet.
6.
GiphyMy wife (Norwegian) speaks 6-7 11 languages at varying levels of proficiency, and have a few good stories. Best one's from her time studying in Prague.
She went out with some Czech friends, all girls. They ended up in a bar, at a table next to a group of Norwegian guys that were on a weekend party trip. The guys were somewhat drunk, and of course immediately started flirting with my wife and her friends, in the typical heavily accented English spoken by Norwegians. While flirting, they discussed among themselves the various physical attributes of each girl, how slutty they were, how they'd perform in bed, what they'd do to them later that night in graphical detail, "I'm so getting laid" comments, and so on.
My wife translated everything into Czech for her friends. A lot of fun was had at both tables, the Czechs got more and more flirty as the Norwegians bought drinks, got bolder and became more and more certain they'd all actually get laid. After several hours, when the girls decided trather abruptly to end the evening, the Norwegian guys were a bit confused, as the girls all got so cold so quickly. Then my wife said, in Norwegian: "Nice meeting you guys, good luck", watched them all turn blood red, and left.
5.
My friend's son knows fluent Spanish, but is white so when he brought his wife's mini van in to get it detailed the people cleaning it were all going on and on about how stupid and dirty this guy is and how he should make his kids clean the van instead. Then they went on about how cheap Americans are and they probably wouldn't even get a tip for all the hard work. When they were done he went right over to thank them, and let them know how much he appreciated the job they did and gave them a tip...all in Spanish so they knew he had heard every word they said. Edit: I probably should have mentioned that this was in Mexico right near the US border, so being white and a Spanish speaker was more unusual.
4.
Was at a market in Thailand. Just as the stall owner is handing me my purchase, a tourist walks up and starts randomly educating me on bartering. I'd never met this person before, but they insist on showing me how it's done. So he's bargaining away and drives the owner down to about half price. With a smug look, he says "and that's how it's done."
I didn't have the heart to tell him I paid a tenth of what he did just by speaking politely using rudimentary Thai.
3.
My family is Greek, however I have an aunt that lives in Germany. She was visiting Greece one time, and she went to the jewellery store with her husband, where they both spoke to the staff in English. They were looking at rings when my aunt wiped her nose in a tissue. One of the girls working there, thought she was trying to steal a ring and tells the other girl working there : I think she just put a ring in her tissue, keep an eye on her. My aunt turns to her and goes: I blew my nose, would you want me to show you my boogers??
2.
My boyfriend and I went to Japan and stood out like the pair of hugely tall white folk we are. Literally no one expects foreigners to speak Japanese here btw. When just hanging out waiting to cross a street, a kid holding his mum's hand just stared at my 6 foot + boyfriend and said to his mum; "wow, foreigners are amazing aren't they?" We nearly died of laughter later, but there are tons of encounters like this. I only scare the pants off some of them though! Great fun! :)
1.
GiphyI'm norwegian, but was in vacation in London, was on the way out the subway and waiting for a lift. Standing with my girlfriend, we overhear two girls behind me talking about me in Swedish (that I understood) and how hot I was and that they would definitely be down to bang if I asked. And how my girlfriend was not in my league and that I did not know how hot I was.
When the lift arrived, I turned around and thanked them (in norwegian) for the compliments, but that my girlfriend was far better looking than both of them.
They decide to not get on the lift with us.
Be careful what you say in public -- you never know who is listening! Do you have a great story to share? Drop it in our comment section below!
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Redditor littleallred008 wanted to compare notes on all the degraded quality in the world of retail.
"What has simultaneously gotten worse and more expensive?"
Fast food in general. Wendy's? Your potatoes are shriveled and sad. They used to make me happy.
Ronald?
big mac 80s GIFGiphy"Big Macs. That burger 'patty' is a stones throw away from being a slice of roast beef."
badmangoodguy
Read Closer
"Cable/ Internet providers. Oh yes sorry your trial period was over, your bill went up 200 dollars. Oh no we didn't promise you 200mb/s download speed constantly, we said UP TO. read the fine print."
demonardvark
"In the US, if you’re lucky enough to live in a place with more than one option, call and threaten to cancel (speak with retentions) at the end of your contract."
"You should be able to renew at a better rate (maybe not as good as the trial offer). I actually just switch every year between Comcast and AT&T. I just set a calendar reminder for the following year once I sign a new contract. It’s a small hassle but worth it to save hundreds per year."
sameoldtexans
Skin
"I swear that Reese's peanut butter cups have gotten shi**ier over the years. the peanut butter seems chalkier and the chocolate tastes blander.
Plus I can't ever seem to pry them out of that little cup wrapper without leaving the bottom chocolate 'skin' stuck to it...
"I think the push to put them in the freezer and eat them chilled is a ploy to cover the declining quality."
thatstupidthing
No place like no home...
"As someone shopping for a house, I have to say homes. Not only has the real estate market been ridiculously inflated (especially in NYC, my residence), I'm finding that the actual quality of a lot of these homes are absolute crap. Due to the ability to find and source cheap materials and labor, developers are able to make huge profits off high prices and low costs. It's making me really rethink if I want buy a house, or just use all that money to aggressively invest."
orange_cuse
Not so Wild
I Hate You Wings GIF by The BachelorGiphy"Buffalo Wild Wings. I don’t know if it’s just me, but their prices have gone up and the quality has gone down."
ChongerHonger333
From my reviews, wings in general have just taken a hit.
Never Lasting
Show Off Renee Zellweger GIF by Working TitleGiphy"Clothes, very few companies make clothes to last and fast fashion is rising while the cost of items continue to increase!"
Longest_YeahBoi_Ever
Yuck
"Scented candles, Yankee Candle in particular used to be the candle that was considered premium. But while they've never been cheap at least a while ago it was worth the money. But now they're just exorbitant in price, they don't smell like they used to, and they are not worth the money."
llcucf80
Use an IPhone...
"Photo booths! Oh the old ones were so cool! Four different real photos for 1 dollar. - Now you pay $ 7 for four identical bad laser prints."
aSadGirlsTongue
"This is why we bought all the supplies and just made one ourselves, super easily. Literally bought a backdrop & frame, all the fancy lighting, props, tablet, tablet stand, color printer, and even the little clicker thing to press when to take the photo."
"All of that off of Amazon, for less than 1/3 the price we were quoted to rent one from a company. And now we have a photo booth... lol. We can be that cool couple that can bring a whole photo booth setup anytime we're invited to our friend's weddings, parties, events, etc."
Rachelalala
Ruined
"The Cadbury Egg is honestly the most disappointing to me, because nearly every one of the food products mentioned has plenty of viable alternatives that haven't been ruined. You can find a thousand high-quality chocolate bars or ice creams or whatever."
"But the Cadbury Egg is a singularly unique product. There's nothing else like it on Earth, so once Cadbury ruined the recipe, it was a treat lost forever."
KlaatuBrute
Learning
Robin Williams Movie GIFGiphy"My university education, specifically this year. They are raising tuition AND fall semester has no in-person sessions."
BlueKnightBrownHorse
I feel like life itself has degraded and become too expensive in general.
Redditor LBE wanted to hear about the times in life we've all been left with unease and shivers down the spine.
"What is the Creepiest or most Unexplained thing that’s happened to you that you still think about to this day?"
Noises. My creepiest enemy is simple noises. I've wasted hours hunting small noises that could be someone hiding. I'm always on guard.
Vanished...
"To this day, there was a kid in my class that no one else remembers. I distinctly remember playing with this kid in kindergarten, and we were pretty much inseparable. About a month past Christmas break he disappeared. No one remembered him."
GIF by VPROGiphy"Not the teachers, or the others in my class. No one. I even asked the school counselor if he was okay, and she humored me by going through records to see if he’d transferred. She couldn’t find a thing. I think about it at least once a month."
CrippledUnironically
Deliverance
"Was delivering newspapers on my paper route when a longtime customer pulled his car next to me and asked me to just give him his daily newspaper now because he was going on a long trip. I handed him his newspaper then skipped his house as I continued my route."
"The next day I was collecting the weekly fees (you used to have to go collect the money back then, no internet payment yet) and I went to his house to collect my fee. His wife answers and promptly complains that I missed her house on my deliveries the day before."
"I explained to her that her husband pulled up next to me, I told her what he said and that I gave him the paper. She started crying, told me that he had died a couple weeks ago and it was obviously not possible that I spoke with her husband the day before."
"I know what I saw and nearly 30 years later I still think about that situation. I have no way to logically explain what happened and it still give me the creeps."
avionchef
All Black...
"I have a weird memory that's not mine; I'm a small boy with a suit and tie, I'm at a party in a huge ceremonial church or something and there's lots of men and women wearing fancy black clothes, they all get in a circle its the middle of the day light was brightly coming in through the windows and there are old-ish couple dancing in the middle of the circle with some very classy/fancy music."
"And I was trying to look at them through people's legs, suddenly the man falls, no gunshots no one did anything to him and then the second he falls everyone starts screaming, people were running away but the men were running towards him, I think I was trampled because I was lying on the floor and then everything goes black."
"That's all I can remember. This is a clear memory that has stuck with me since I can remember, I'm really creeped out because I know that memory isn't mine, I've never gone to a fancy party in a church when I was little and I don't know what happened to that man because I fell over."
waterbottleman8000
Spooked
"Driving home from work late one night I was followed and it was weird. I left the hospital and turned off the main road to a bunch of side streets I would take. At one point I noticed a car behind me that made the same left turn as me. They sped up to get behind me. I thought nothing of it. Then I briefly thought about running to 7-11 to grab some food and turned on my right signal."
"But I realized I had food at home, so I turned my signal off. The car behind me turned on their right signal and turned it off as well exactly as I had. At that point I got a bit spooked. So I turned my right signal on and they did as well. Instead at the next intersection I turned left even though my right signal was on. They did as well. They proceeded to follow me through a series of odd turns."
"Eventually I turned onto a cul-de-sac I knew about and figured I could turn around there and look at the driver to see who was following me. As I approached the end of the road they figured out what I was doing. They stopped and did a fast k-turn and sped off. It was weird. Still don’t know who it was."
BiologyJ
Bad Vibes
"This didn't exactly happen to me, but I got some backlash and bad vibes from it. My best friend and his mom were moving out of their house (they were the only ones living in the house) and he went to take one last selfie in his room. When he showed the picture to his mom, she goes 'Who is that?"
"Upon further inspection he notices there was a straight up white face almost like a mask looking over his shoulder from the attic hatch above his room. He always heard things from the attic but never saw anything. A few weeks later we went on a wrestling trip and stayed in a hotel. He showed the pic around to everyone in our room, and then some spooky things started happening."
"In our room we began hearing knocks on our door when nobody was there. We also saw flashes or glimpses of a figure in the mirror in our room. Everyone was a little freaked out about it and thought it could be the demon from the picture, and my friend who took it became so paranoid he played bible verses to ward any demons off all night. He said ever since he took that picture he has had weird things happen to him."
Xander20021
Always listen to your bad vibes. They know all...
The Grunt
"I would cut weight/train for wrestling in high school, which meant a lot of dark-night runs at the middle school track. It was an old gravel one close to the woods with no lights. I didn't like running at the high school track for some reason so I'd just go there. I'd hold my phone to time my laps and one night while I was looking down at it, someone tackled me out of nowhere."
"We rolled around on the ground and he never said a word. Just grunted. Luckily, I got up and ran towards the middle school. I ran into some people and they called the cops. I left all of my stuff behind and he didn't take any of it. It was pretty strange."
Dragoevsky
3:21
"Driving from Northern California to Southern California through the middle of the night about a decade ago. I was tired, and the scenery along the freeway through the central valley isn't very interesting. I remember passing an old silo, looking at my car clock and it was 3:17 in the morning."
"Drove some more, passed a powerline, and it was 3:21."
"I blinked, shuffled in my seat, and passed that same old silo, and it was back to 3:17. I was in disbelief. I just stared at my clock for a few moments."
"Drove a little bit more, passed the same powerline, 3:21. Don't know why or how, but I went backwards about 4 minutes. Never experienced anything similar or since."
haysus25
Meow...
"A random cat on the street once protected me from a man who I didn't realize was following me."
"I was (stupidly) talking on my phone while walking home at night. I saw a man who was talking to himself near a park and I deliberately chose to walk down another street to avoid him. In the middle of my phone conversation, this orange cat comes up beside me and starts walking next to me."
"We walk in tandem for about three blocks, me telling the person I was talking to how funny this was."
"Suddenly, the cat starts to turn around and head back the other way. I look and see that same man I'd seen earlier, who had changed his original direction and had been following me for a few blocks. The cat got in between us and howled at him until he turned around and went the other way."
"Then the cat and I walked another block together, at which point he peeled off into a yard. I double-checked and the man was had disappeared. I can't be sure that the man wished me harm, but I know I wouldn't have noticed him if it weren't for that cat. I never believed in guardian angels or anything of that sort until I had that experience."
Mgnolry
Prints
"You know on cold days inside your car you can breath on the window and draw on the glass? I got in my car, and as I look at the windshield I see a few small baby hands. I thought it was strange someone would let a baby play on my cars windshield. I had an urge to touch the baby prints and as I touched it, I wiped away the hand prints. The hand prints were made from inside of my locked car. This is probably the strangest creepiest unexplained phenomena that’s ever happened to me."
ScootyPufff
Sucking lIfe
"I had a recurring nightmare of a pitch black parasite sucking the life it of me. Sometimes it waited for me in dark corners to go to bed. My cats always slept on my bed during that time. For me it was a very stressful time, a got an itch at the place of my chest where I dreamed the parasite was sucking my life out of me."
"I got sick and felt a pea sized lump. I went to my doc and they ordered a biopsy of that lump. As it turned out I had male breast cancer at the age of 28. After I got well again the dream never came back and my cats slept in their places again and not on my bed."
Teething Mental Health GIF by PBS Digital StudiosGiphy"The dream was creepy enough what it made for me were my cats protecting me."
Mechanic84
How do any of us sleep at might?
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.