Since everybody has secrets, it makes sense that pretty much every family would have a secret or two as well. For most of us it's probably something relatively tame. Then there are the jucier things - like how some people have that one auntie who has had 3 husbands die on her... all in bed. ("Some people" may or may not be me.)
One reddit user opened up a serious can of worms when they asked:
What's a dark family secret you uncovered?
Fam, Reddit does not disappoint when they're asked to get dark. Some of the answers were so bad we didn't feel comfortable sharing them here. What we did share is full of things that some readers might find disturbing. There are stories of rape, murder, suicide, child abandonment, and more.
Proceed with caution.
Me
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I was the family secret. My biological parents started having kids as teenagers. For context, when my biological mom found out she was pregnant with me, she was 21 and I was their 4th child. They quickly realized they needed to get their act together. They were already struggling financially, had countless drug issues, etc. They decided that they were going to put me up for adoption. I was a baby.
I was adopted by a loving family quite quickly, only about an hour drive from the city I was born in. Coincidentally, I ended up returning to that same city for college. My sophomore year, I decided to seek out my biological family. Turns out, my biological parents separated right after I was born. My biological mom is still in and out of jail to this day, but my biological dad was able to start a new chapter. He got clean & sober, remarried, started going to church, and built a legitimate career for himself. He told his new wife about me when they first met, but didn't tell any of his children. My other siblings didn't know I existed.
Thanks to the internet, I ended up tracking down his work number and gave him a call. Later on, he said as soon as I said, "Hi, this might be really weird, but..." he knew it was me. Apparently, ever since I turned 18, him and his wife were waiting anxiously for me to resurface. They knew the day would come eventually. That evening, they sat my siblings down and told them about me. It was difficult at first, but now I'm 25 and me and him have a pretty solid relationship.
Grandpa Doesn't Know
My grandpa doesn't know that his dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver. He was like 2 when his dad died and can't remember any of it. The only thing he said was that he thought it involved a truck.
I found the article of my great-grandfather's death when I started digging into my grandpa's family tree. I also found that great-grandpa was the result of a teen pregnancy and was raised by his grandparents.
I'd tell him but I'm not really sure there's too much point in bringing it up now.
Grandma's "Hotel"
Great grandma ran a "hotel" in the late 1800s near a train Depot and army fort in the Oklahoma territory. Turns out it was a brothel. Great grandma was a madam! She must have been good at it cause she left a stack to my grandma.
Boys Club
When I was a kid I knew my grandfather was odd. He'd call me his grandson even when i was wearing a dress and clearly female, but my parents would tell me to ignore it.
Then I found out that when my dad was a kid, grandpa sold my dad's sister Barbara to someone and kept my dad and his brother because he didn't want a girl in the family. My dad found his sister Barbara around the time I was in middle school via calling around to get records, they were reunited, she's my favorite aunt now.
No one liked grandpa.
- Halleaon
The Heirloom Dishes
We have a set of plates our family uses ONLY on Easter. My mom always fusses about that they are great grandmother, pre WWI family heirlooms. As someone who is interested in this kind of stuff, I looked up the makers mark. 1940s kitch, at best.
I haven't told anyone because I have my eyes on another set of china, and I want to seem magnanimous when I "compromise" with my sister to have these.
Not Her Fault
My cousin didn't stop talking the family for ten years because of her parents' divorce, like my parents said. She stopped because she and her dad got into an argument, and he physically shoved her into a basement, locked her inside, and refused to let her out.
He held her hostage down there for hours. Authorities got involved. He eventually got charged with domestic violence. A lot of the family blamed her for "getting her dad arrested" instead of holding him responsible for hurting her. So she stopped talking to them for about a decade.
She's married to a really nice guy and has two kids who she adores. This all happened about 20 years ago and she's doing really good now.
Totally Fair
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The "disabled" kid: My dad was pretty open about it but I know they kept it hush hush within their community. Idk how it when my dad found out but he discovered he had an older brother, his parents' oldest child. We'll call him Ron.
When Ron was preschool aged they were told he was "mentally retarded." Horrified, they turned him over to the state and never spoke of him again. Years later word got back to them that the kid was not in fact mentally disabled, he had "auditory dyslexia"(now called auditory processing disorder). He grew up to be a fully functioning independent adult.
He refused to have any contact with the family when my dad reached out to his brother. Totally fair, in my opinion.
Born Too Soon
My great aunt and uncle, had a baby when they were still in the dating phase. They were in love and getting married was a sure thing down the line. However, coming from a very conservative society in the Middle East back in the 50's, they had to give the child away to an orphanage. Once that was done, they got married and eventually had 4 children.
That child grew up knowing his origins and only allowed minimal contact with his family. He still isn't invited to family events and has a family of his own. When my great uncle passed away I was told he was amongst the randoms that came to the cemetery to pay respects, none of my cousins including myself know what he looks like but my dad and his siblings and cousins all do.
Its sad how he's punished for something that isn't his fault.
Grandpa's Suicide
My grand-father tried to kill my dad with an axe. Literally showed up to his place of work and went looking to cut him down... and somehow, my unprepared dad fought him off bare handed.
So grandpa escaped and came back the next day to finish the job with a gun, but my dad didn't show up to work, so dude offed himself in the parking lot leaving the craziest suicide note ever.
There's a long backstory. To try not to go crazy here...
Grandpa beat my dad, dad's brothers and his mom. Grandpa was an alcoholic, for sure, but probably had mental problems too as they are run family. (yay)
Anyways, my dad had enough of it and worked a ton of jobs to save money. He was able to afford to escape and moved everyone out of the house in the middle of the night. They fled. New life kinda relocation thing.
So Grandpa was pretty pissed my dad "ruined his life" by, I guess, standing up for himself. Eventually the dude tracked down where my dad worked and went to end him.
I'm pretty sure his brothers and mom knew about the attempt, I don't know how many other family did. I only found out from my mom when I was moving away to university; and I have no idea why she told me. I thought it was bull, but eventually Dad confirmed it. It sort of filled in a lot of gaps in his character.
I have a vague idea of what was in the suicide note from what my mom said. I know it was a letter addressed to my dad laying the ultimate guilt trip. I think it was something about how much my dad had ruined his life by being born, then taking his wife away from him.
There was some passage about the church in it and how my dad had "let down all of religion" or God or something, and that Grandpa would see him in Hell. I'm kind of exaggerating, but whatever was in that note turned my dad into a staunch anti-religious person pretty much.
One Punch Grandpa
I asked my Mom why Grandpa didn't stay in his home town and take over the farm.
Turns out, Grandpa killed a man.
They had a bunch of local kids over to hang out. Grandpa couldn't find his sister and went looking for her. He came around the corner of the barn to find a guy was actually raping her.
Grandpa, grabbed the guy - gave him one punch in the head and killed him. He served 10 months in jail. After that, he decided to move a whole 10 miles away to another town.
The kicker is my Grandfather's name is Pleasant! He's referred to as one punch Grandpa now.
- sunrein
Mike The Mobster
When my Dad's uncle died, at his funeral there were a couple people there that dad recognized but only one he knew well. He and my dad had originally bonded because they were both named Mike. They became friends even though my dad was younger than him by about twenty years.
Mike was an acquaintance of dad's father, my grandfather. Mike was also involved in some shady, shady stuff. At the funeral Mike sat next to my dad and asked if he was doing good. My dad asked if he could be blunt, and admitted he was "glad the bastard was dead."
Mike got real quiet, and asked if he'd ever been hurt by his uncle. My dad admitted he had.
Mike told him that if anyone ever touched him like that again, to let him know and he and his boys would take care of them. My dad was about seventeen, so he would've known Mike about seven years at this point.
He trusted Mike. Always hung out with him when he came into town, which wasn't very often.
My dad took him up on his promise only once. He'd been having issues with some wannabe gang members in price hill and told Mike about this one kid who'd stabbed him in the thigh last time he crossed their turf. The kid had mugged him, stabbed him, and told him he was lucky it wasn't his throat. My dad ended up in the hospital with a few dozen stitches and a very large tetanus shot.
He told Mike, and Mike said he'd take care of it. My dad never saw the kid again, he'd just disappeared. Mike left town shortly after.
Few years later, my grandfather was in the early stages of the disease that would later take his life; and drunk as f**k so he was feeling talkative. He said to my dad:
"Ya know I outta thank you. You got that good for nothing mobster to skip town after killing that 'banger, and now I don't have to worry about paying my debts. You might not be a disappointment after all"
My dad never forgot that. Not just because of the back handed compliment, that was normal. But because of the bomb his dad had dropped about Mike being a part of the mob? Never knew that Mike had killed the kid, never knew that his dad was in trouble with him, never found out how his dad had gotten in with a man claiming to be a mobster.
Was Mike actually part of the mob? In Cincinnati in the '60s it was possible, but not probable. More likely he was part of a gang and used the threat of the mafia to keep my grandfather scared enough to be manipulated.
I do think he genuinely liked my dad, though. I don't think their relationship was more than platonic, but also I've never killed a man for my "friends."
Shot
My great uncle shot my great aunt. Apparently she had Alzheimer's and he decided it was best to just kill her, then he turned the gun on himself. From what I heard though he didn't die instantly but rather held on for around a week before finally dying.
Nazi Roots
I found out my grandma's grandfather was a Nazi scientist that fled Germany in 1945, changed his name and moved to South America. We still don't know what his real last name was.
Step-Dad
I may or may not be a product of an affair between my mum and my (now) step-dad.
I found an old letter between them, talking about how he wanted to mess around and then hide in the cupboard when her husband got home. I also know that he bought her gifts before I was born...
Too scared to confirm though. I still see bio-dad, and have a half sister and family on that side. I hate to think of how everything would be turned upside down if it turned out to be true.
Casanova Cousin
My grandmother actually told me before she passed that her cousin was Paul John Knowles, the Casanova Killer. As far as I know, my mother's side completely believes this to be true while my dad's side didn't know at all.
My dad believes this explains a lot about my mom. (Their divorce wasn't the nicest)
- ValkRhi
Family Toke Sesh
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My uncle found pot in his living room in between two couch cushions, so he brought it to my aunt's boyfriend who was dealing while being a chef in the early days of his restaurant.
Aunt's boyfriend looked at it an said "oh that's not mine, that's your mother's,"
Turns out my Grammy bought pot to feel better cause of retirement, and she and like 5 of my aunt's and uncles had a big toke sesh like that 70's show in my Grammy's basement.
Not dark but still, I wanted to share it
It's Not Official
My parents aren't 'officially' married. They are married in traditional Hindu ways but since my Mom had the same surname, they never bothered to have the marriage registered so technically, they have been in a very long live in relationship (about 25 years)
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.