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Dads-To-Be Reveal What Happened When The Baby Turned Out Not To Be Theirs

Dads-To-Be Reveal What Happened When The Baby Turned Out Not To Be Theirs
Yoshiyoshi Hirokawa/ GettyImages

Few moments can top the birth of your child. That is, if it is your child. As high as your heart can soar holding that child in your arms for the first time, the depths to which it can sink when you learn that the baby isn't yours can only be written of in Greek tragedies...so let's look at some!

Reddit user, u/MurkMunny, wanted to hear to know if it was a boy or a girl when they asked:

To any redditor who's wife/SO had a baby that clearly wasn't yours, what's your story?

Huh...There We Go

My dad is half Japanese. Bit strange since both my grandparents are white russians

Edit: I should add that I was born after my mom and dad broke up. So my grandmother came to visit me in the hospital, but then went back and told my dad that I couldn't possibly be his because I was black.

I'm so white I glow in the dark.

LilithImmaculate

A Mix Of Feelings

Was in a long-distance relationship with a girl in college. After going two months without a period, she took a pregnancy test which turned up positive. After informing me, I had to keep myself from panicking (I hate kids, and didn't work during college to avoid burning out). While she refused an abortion, she agreed to adopt out the baby when it was born.

A week goes by and I get a massive wall of text from her in Skype that basically boils down to "I'm leaving you, the kid is not yours as my ex and I had a ton of unprotected sex, and the doctor confirmed that the date of conception isn't when you and I were together. I'm not sure why you didn't realize this already, but I'm sorry for everything."

It's a weird mix of feelings to both go "yay I'm not a dad" and "OMG, the girl I intended on marrying is pregnant with her ex's kid".

TheMohawkNinja

Bad Family

I have a cousin that cheated on her husband while she was abroad, she has the kid and her husband divorces her after he found out the kid is not his and that she was staying with the father of the child.

Couple of years later, when I was visiting her parents, I asked what happened and they told me the baby-daddy wasn't some big shot business owner but a junkie that has to look for new jobs because he is always fired. The now ex-husband was the one that paid for her and the kid's airplane ticke and the kid's immigration papers. She now lives somewhere else, where hardly anyone knows her while the kid is looked after by his grandparents.

To clarify, the woman f-cked off somewhere because of the shame and her kid is with her parents because they believe she can't raise a child well, the kid is doing well. The ex-husband still talks to them and is cordial but he is more of a big brother figure to the kid.

illogicalfuturity

A Long Process Just To Hear "No"

I am now in my 50s. Back in my 20s, I was really desperate and dated a woman who was about 12 years older. About 9 months into our relationship, I go away to another state for a weekend trip. Come back and found out that she had given birth to a child.

I was perplexed because she didn't seem pregnant and no one around us knew she was pregnant. She even said that she didn't know that she was pregnant. I'm black, the woman was white and the kid was powder white. But, I do have white in my family. I didn't believe the kid was mine because, 1) I would have had to impregnate her in the first month (possible, but I don't remember ejaculating) , 2) she looks nothing like me and 3) she's too light to have my genes.

My mom convinces me that this has to be my kid because the woman says it is and that I have a mixed background. I want to believe it because not believing it means some other guy is the dad. But, my rational side says there is no way she's mine.

So, we move in and eventually get married. The relationship doesn't last and we separate. I decide that I have to find out the truth, even though I know it. I get some money together and get a DNA test. Sure enough, I'm 99% excluded.

I show the results to the mother and she says I'm wrong and the test is wrong and that I just don't want to be a dad. I tell her that I do, but I'm done paying child support. However, I give her the option to pay for another DNA test or go through the courts. She declined.

Stuntedatpuberty

No Matter What

I always wanted to be a dad. I was SO excited and happy when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I fell in love the instant she held my thumb the day she was born. Fast forward two years and two months when I found my daughter wasn't mine. I was crushed and beat to the ground but I got back up. I left her mom but have never for a second thought about leaving her, she turns four this summer and she is my world, she's my daughter no matter what a test tells me. I love her more than I've ever loved anything.

dirtdee

Like A Living Sitcom

I have a friend from Sudan. Hooked up with a white girl at a college party. Just a one night stand, until 9+ months later she tracked him down for a paternity test.

She was living with her white boyfriend and his parents. They threw her a shower, built a nursery, were at the delivery..... and in true sitcom-esque* fashion she didn't give any indication it wasn't his until her little fro popped out of her.

My Sudanese friend and his current wife have primary custody of the lovely 10 yr old girl and one of their own. Birth mom continues to make poor choices.

Dystopianpresent

Strange, Must Be True

Both my parents are brown with black hair and brown eyes. I came out white with blonde hair and blue eyes. My dad didn't believe I was his.

My brother was born white with blonde hair and blue eyes. We look like our dad so there no denying we aren't his.

HakixJack

Look Into The Eyes

So I'm mixed black and white, and my ex is black as night. Our oldest had blue eyes at birth and blond hair, pale as hell.

There were several occasions where her mom as asked if she was the babysitter.

Or the one time when all of us were walking downtown, our daughter 2 at time, with curly white-blond hair, and some guy we pass by says "I can't believe they dyed that baby's hair" quickly followed by the woman with him saying "that's natural you idiot" to him....

her eyes eventually turned green at 9 or so...

evilcj925

Double Check Your Calendar

Not me but my husband. He lost his virginity then 2 weeks later the girl claimed she was pregnant with his child. After measuring the fetus, the doctor changed her original due date to a month earlier. Which means her conception date was a month earlier. She still swore she hadn't been with anyone else for months before him and him being in love and naive, he actually believed her. They even named the baby after him.

As a newborn he could pass for his kid, and I honestly thought the kid was his back then (we had a mutual friend). We started dating when the kid was 2.5 years old. Looked absolutely nothing like him. Her friends started telling him things, that she would ask them if her son looked like different guys she had been with, and that she had been cheating on him.

So at 3 years old he finally bought a DNA test kit and found out the obvious truth. He was DEVASTATED to say the least. Ugly crying, depressed, etc. He continued to take care of him but stopped paying child support. Kid is 10 years old now and we still have him every weekend.

m0mmyneedsabeer

Best Friend Betrayal

Years ago, when I was in high school, my gf told me she was pregnant, even though we hadn't had sex in several months. We already had a 2 year old daughter by then, and things were just not going well between us...Fast forward approximately 9 months, to the time she was ready to deliver the baby. We had broken up by then, and moved into different homes. I drove her to the hospital because no one else was able to help her...

Later that day, she calls me and asks when I'm going to "see my son." I drop by the hospital that evening after work, and there's a little baby boy with the unmistakable, very distinct facial features of my best friend/roommate.

Of course he denied all of it. We weren't really friends after that. This little boy was my responsibility until the court-ordered DNA test were done a year later, which proved I was not the father. My old best friend/the father of the little boy wasn't around and didn't help out. So I raised his son, along with my daughter, as my own child.

YepThatLooksInfected

No Matter What, You're Mine

Had a very on-and-off relationship. Child was born during an off period, about fourteen months after the last time GF and I had sex, so clearly not mine. But kid was beautiful and sweet, and bio-father disappeared after about a year, so she became mine.

She just graduated from college, lives with me, and we haven't talked to her mother in almost ten years. "How to become a single parent the weird way."

LowerSeaworthiness

Even The Grandparents Are Getting In On The Action

My grandmother is the result of an Irish boarder staying with my great grandmother during the war. Great-grandad went off to war in 1939 and came back in 1945 to two extra kids.

I'm not sure what happened after that tbh.

Damn_Captcha

A Guilty Conscious Weighs On You

I was 21 and just had my second kid with my high school "sweetheart". We had our first Daughter right out of high school at 18. After our second daughter was born my girlfriend began showing signs of severe depression and had to be sent for observation to a psych ward. After the second day there she said there was something weighing on her she had to tell me.

She said that there was a high possibility that our first daughter wasn't mine and that she had been seeing someone else at the time of conception. I was floored to say the least and it greatly affected our relationship eventually ending it 5 years later. We/I just couldn't seem to get past it. The most messed up part about it is that my daughter is now 16 and her mother told her that she was raped and impregnated that way...I mean really WTF?

Guitardadmandm

All It Takes Is A Little Convincing

My first wife conceived her third child while I left her for a period of time i knew from the start that this boy was NOT mine. When he was only 1 year old and my boy was 4 yrs old and my girl was 5, I divorced her. She was never a good mother or wife so I ended up taking all 3 children and raising them myself as a single dad.

I knew for sure they were better off with me. She had nothing to do with them from that time on. Being that I was only 16 when I married her and I was getting married as a way of running away from home, I never considered what kind of wife or mother she would be. I just needed to get away from a very abusive father at that time.

Mathews176

The Ol' Switcheroo

My cousin went through IVF treatment. The lab got her husband and another men junk mixed up but by the time it was found out she was 18 weeks pregnant

Both cousin and husband are white German my beautiful nephew is a pretty coffee colour.

Got enough money to pay for he's education right up to uni.

toniqu19

Can't Trust The Help

My ex-wife and I had been married for 6 years and we finally decided it was time to have a second baby.

I work as a VP of sales for a popular restaurant chain, and travel extensively as part of my job.

After trying for a few months, when I was home from traveling, she finally got pregnant. Things were going great and our male Nigerian nanny who helped out with my young daughter and my wife with chores around the house when I was traveling for work was doing an amazing job.

When the baby was born, it was immediately clear it was not mine. My wife and I are both white, and the baby was very dark.

I walked out of the delivery room shocked, left the hospital, drove aimlessly for a while chain smoking cigarettes, and finally checked into a hotel off the highway when it started getting dark out.

Turns out my Nigerian nanny knocked up my wife while I was away traveling for work, and they had been sleeping together for years.

We sold the house and got a divorce soon after, and share custody of our daughter.

She got re-married to the nanny and they just bought a home together a few towns away.

I live in an apartment near our daughter's school, and started dating again recently.

TotallyMadeUpStory

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baby

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

– OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

– CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

internet rumors

People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

dont ask

People Break Down The Times They Had To Sober Up Real Fast

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

The Most Ridiculous 'First World Problems' People Have Heard Someone Complain About

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.


problems