During my time in New York, I have had more roommates than I can count.
I use to keep a running tally but I stopped at twenty... or at least I stopped caring.
I have been blessed to not have been bogged down by any true psychos.
I had a few borderline loons but nothing where I feared for my life.
Sadly, I know far too many people where that wasn't the case.
Redditor 00Dylan wanted everyone to share about the times we've lived with some serious nutjobs. They asked:
"What did your roommate from hell do to earn their title?"
I have a friend who had a roommate who would slip into her room at 3am to watch her sleep. For fun. NO!
My Stuff
Audrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTV
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"Yelled at me for reading my own books because it messed up the decor. Books were sorted by color and not subject and reading them made them look not as new. Yeah. My own books."
madpiratebippy
Ruined
"Roommate was a total slob, and I am not saying this lightly. He would eat dinner on the couch, then put his dirty plate (with scraps and bones) under the couch. I would have to check constantly for that or else we would get some foul smells. One time he had pancakes and put the plate under the chair, and due to the large amount of leftover maple syrup we got ants. He would just trash everything and made the house disgusting."
"Finally I had enough and I stopped cleaning up after him. I just let the house fall into total ruin. He then started staying at his parents house, telling them and our friends that I was a slob and he couldn't handle it anymore. He eventually moved out and lives with his girlfriend now. She complains constantly that he is a slob."
Calis708
Psycho
"She released my pet iguana into the wild. She blackmailed me via email from the next room. I caught her going through my nightstand when I came home from work. When I moved out, she poured baby oil and soy sauce all over my N64, SNES, Sega, and controllers. She ran a needle across my favorite DVDs. I got her back, though… and got my consoles professionally cleaned."
paythemandamnit
Thief
"She had the landlord return the security deposit in her name, even though I'd paid it in full. It was $1800. When I asked the landlord for the deposit back, he said he already gave it to her and I had to work it out with her. I was 19 and didn't know any better. Needless to say, she never paid me back. Still bitter 20 years later. I worked full time in college and her parents paid her way. $1800 was a lot of money back then."
Jen_the_Green
Holes
Kyle Gallner Reaction GIF by Arrow Video
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"Burned holes through the bottom of my pots making instant ramen in maple syrup instead of water. She forgot it on the stove while playing bongos in the living room at 2:00am with some dude she’d brought home off the street."
Terin_OSaurusrex
That's why there is a microwave!
Menu Issues
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"I had roommates there were 7th Day Adventists and would eat my food. They said they were not allowed to eat pork so I started buying only lunch meats that obviously contained pork but they still ate in anyway."
wanted_to_upvote
"inappropriate"
"She stole my underwear, wore them, then reported me to our boarding school for having personal 'inappropriate' underwear when I confronted her for stealing them. She got in trouble for theft, but I still got in trouble for having clothes outside the dress code even though I threw them out after I saw them in her dirty laundry hamper."
CaffeinatedHBIC
big mistake...
"One of my first flatmates in London was weirdly into me. One time I took a friend home cause she was too drunk to take the tube by herself. My flatmate saw us getting home, asked me if she was my girlfriend and I said yes hoping he'd leave me alone after this... big mistake. He asked if he could sleep with us in my bed (my friend was passed out at this point), said he 'wouldn't do anything, just wanted some human contact.' Creepy as hell, moved out shortly after that."
SugarHewson
"hashed"
Black Girl GIF by Sam Cannon
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"My college room mate ran out of pot so he tried to boil down his bong water to 'hash' in my microwave using my tupperware. The residue ended up fusing with the plastic at the bottom of the container so he scraped it out with a razor blade and smoked a big bowl of plastic and bongwater concentrate with the windows closed."
GoBananaSlugs
The Kitchen!
"I had a coworker who was living at my home for some weeks. Wasn't specially clean and sometimes he drank my beers but overall it was an ok situation. One day he told me he was moving back with his wife, and I said it was cool, he could take his things out whenever he needed, not a rush."
"Almost immediately I found someone else who was looking for a room and I told him yeah you can move in on Monday. Monday morning I wake up and there is a bicycle on my living room. 'Weird- how did he got in here?' I thought. Went to the kitchen (the kitchen!) and found ex roomie banging a woman there."
"Someone who wasn't his wife. I threw his stuff outside and asked for the keys. It was a little awkward afterwards at work."
Corona_Hex
Please NO
"Freshman year he called for a meeting with our RA. During it he said, "Sometimes when everyone's sleeping I want to pour gasoline all over the place then light a match and walk away from the mess". RA with a stunned face is like, 'no... no don't do that.'"
Duck_Sorcerer
"broke in"
"Not super terrible but we went to a party, he got drunk super quick and saw some people he didn't want to be around and walked home. About an hour later me and my other roommate headed home too. When we pulled into the driveway we saw lights on in the living room, which quickly went off. When we got inside we saw a massive person sized hole in the hallway wall into the bathroom."
"Our roommate was pretending to sleep and when we asked him what the fuck happened he said someone 'broke in' didn't try to steal anything but just busted a hole in our wall (from inside of the bathroom into the hall I should add), then slipped out the still locked back door (they didn't see him laying on the couch at all either apparently)."
theDeuce
Witness
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"Literally murdered a man at my house. I had to testify."
CoyBabee
“treat”
"Started doing small amounts of methamphetamines regularly to 'treat' their self diagnosed ADHD. Did seem to help for a short time but then quickly descended into large amounts of crystal meth almost all the time. Breaking point was when they presented a 30+ bullet point itemized list to all roommates about the things they didn’t like about us."
"Included things like '3 crumbs were left on counter after cooking' and 'chair not pushed in perfectly at table after standing up.' Then they began stockpiling guns in their room. Luckily lease was up for renewal and we all noped out of there quickly."
Gold_Passenger_5879
Poor Pooch
"He would always leave his dog for too long and she would s**t on the floor. It was an old dog and I'm sure at one point it wasn't an issue. The problem was this guy didn't even try to do anything to fix the issue. I'd get home from work every day and walk into a house that punched me in the face with s**t smell when I opened the door."
"We talked to him about it over and over again and he'd just blow it off. What did he finally do when he got fed up with us complaining? He put the dog down. We just wanted him to maybe come walk her while on break at work. His job was 5 minutes down the road. I can still feel the tension in the room when we found out she was gone."
thephuckedone
The Dealer
"Dealt drugs out of the place. Started to cook something and passed out starting a fire. Didn't pay his share of the rent. Brought a Kalachnikov into the place, dude knew nothing about guns or gun safety. Stole money, a Playstation, and items/food/clothing/money though it took a while to prove it."
"Tried to convince all of us to do drugs with him. Left heroin needles around. One of the roommates was a former heroin addict and he leaned hard on him to try to get him to do heroin again (failed). A couple of us managed to break the lease and GTFO."
"He broke into all of our cars in retribution and threatened us and stalked us after we moved to a new place. He wound up in prison for a year, and when he got out started a fight that ended very badly for him with him in intensive care in a hospital and that was the last I heard of him."
Wereno
No Trades
"My college roommate would lay on our couch all day and night, shirtless, playing online poker and watching sports on the shared TV. He mooched everything. Stole my food, alcohol, weed, etc. He didn't work, he was just always there. I would hangout at the neighbor's house mostly because it was so annoying and obnoxious. He'd wonder over late at night when we'd all be drunk and try to trade my food, alcohol, etc. for things at my friend's house right in front of me."
dahoth
Thief
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"Forged a check while I was away and drained my bank account. Spent it on cocaine and airfare to the Caribbean. That was 23 years ago, no one has seen or heard from him since."
andS0NS
Oh the pot issue. Stoners really need to live together. Nothing against it, but you know what I'm saying.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.