My Condolences....
shocked oh no GIFGiphyA coworker showed up late and and I jokingly said did someone die? And he said I was at my cousin's funeral. Never in my life did I cringe so hard.
Not so HA!
I used to work at a coffee shop with this girl who was probably one of the most beautiful women ever. I remember she told me a joke and I said "lol". out loud. with no actual laughter. Her face said everything and it was the most cringy crap I've ever done. Still makes me tense up when I think about it.
I'm Hungry....
One time I had my hand raised in class for a good 10 minutes and the teacher kept ignoring me. When he looked at me again, saw my raised hand and looked away I just.... growled? Not in a "I'm making a frustrated sound" way but more like a "I'm a lion and I'm hungry and Imma eat you" kinda way. It was super loud. I don't even know how I made that sound. It still haunts me.
Chances.
I was directing a play in high school and made some random joke I can't even remember that ended with "of course that would only happen if you were a middle child who BECAME the oldest because your older brother was killed by a drunk driver." and my lead actor was like "That is literally my family situation". What are the chances?
What Mr. ED?
GiphyOne time my professor asked someone to read out loud and be animated about it. We were reading a story that involved a horse and I did clanking sounds to imitate the horse running (it was on the page!) in a class room of 70 he told me to stop and had someone else continue on reading... HE SAID ANIMATED AND EXTRA CREDIT!
An Extra Smooch....
When i was on holiday in France when i was 10 years old. We had to do the whole kissing on the cheek thing, and i went in for an extra kiss with this middle aged lady. She left me hanging. I panicked and the first thing i could think to say was 'did my mum give you your present' My mum had not got her a present. I ran away with even more embarrassment and anxiety whilst pretending to find a fake present.
Bare or Bear?
We asked our teacher in high school did he like to ride horses, the teacher replied "I like to ride them bareback" everybody in our class burst out laughing, his face went red and he put his head in his hands and said to himself "I should've known better than to have answered that question."
Wait until 5....
I know a guy who wanted to ask a girl to marry him after having met for only 3-4 hours.
I went out with a guy once who did this. It was the first time I tried online dating and I was very anxious about the whole thing but he seemed nice enough. We met in person for a coffee, he was super late but eventually showed. Date went for about 1-2 hours.
After I got home I got about 3 massive texts saying how he knew I was the one, we should have a family one day, he's been waiting forever for a girl like me etc etc
It was super creepy and scared me off dating for another 5 years.
Ramadan...
I may have shared this on Reddit before. Working in an office during Ramadan we had a new manager who wanted to appear woke but ended up like Michael Scott. He said" guys can you be mindful when bringing food on to the floor as its Ramadan" he then turns to the only asian/middle eastern guy on our team and says"how are you finding Ramadan" "i'm a Sikh" came the reply.
be casual...
casual GIF by CraveTVGiphyFirst day of first ever office job
Friend's advice: don't wear a suit, it's casual dress
Me: lets wear jeans and a florescent green t-shirt, like something you'd wear to a rave
Everyone else: work trousers and a shirt (but no ties, so casual)
Me, Monday @ 0905 - I want to die.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.