Being drunk is never an excuse. But it certainly is the driving force behind most of the dumbest things people have ever done.
When one is drunk, a couple things change. Besides all the physical impairment, some important mental properties give way to an entire new landscape of new and urgent priorities.
Drunk people are unbelievably determined. They will stop at nothing to get what they want. And they want the weirdest, most illogical things.
These drunk stories often involve a journey, a long and convoluted adventure to some end goal that, once achieved, makes no sense and leaves the person only confused and more screwed than they were before.
Doodle_Dragon asked, "What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drunk?"
So Close
"I was making mini ravioli. I went to the sink to drain out the pasta water but I forgot to put the strainer in the sink, so all of my ravioli just went down the drain like a slip n slide." -- ssseawa
"The first time I made mac and cheese for myself I added the all the ingredients before I drained the water. The second time I made mac and cheese for myself I did the exact same damn thing." -- BandOfDonkeys
Double Vision Sight Seeing
"Caught a train to Budapest from Prague but left my stuff in Prague because i forgot to check out of my hostel..."
"I messaged the hostel on Facebook and asked them to hang on to my stuff. I caught the train back the next day and walked in a bit sheepishly. I didn't own anything worth stealing as id already been robbed in Paris so i was fine apart from a bruised ego."
We'll Never Know if it Worked
"I ordered bubble wrap off Amazon just to see if they would wrap it in more bubble wrap, then promptly forgot that I had done so. Imagine my confusion 5 business days later." -- falconfetus8
"My environmentally conscious friend got drunk and ordered 400 bamboo toothbrushes off Amazon, good times." -- unclear_warfare
"I did the same thing and they sent me a blender." -- GrilledCheesePizza
Disco Dumbness
"As a bet, I sat bare a** on a searchlight in front of a discotheque. You know the ones that shoot beams of light into the clouds?"
"Yeah. Turns out they get pretty hot. Got 3rd degree burns on my a**. Couldn't sit down for 2 weeks. Had to wear a diaper bandage. Lucky it didn't get my balls."
All That Beer and Nobody to Drink it. Time for Another Party.
"Once during an alcohol blackout I left a party to take a 5 hour roundtrip by train from Denmark to the German border to buy more beer since I was about to run out of beer and beer was cheaper in Germany."
"I sobered up on the way home with 3 cases of beer under my seat and a fine for riding the train without a ticket."
"The total cost of getting that beer was twice what it had cost to buy it at home, and of course the party was long over by the time I was home."
-- DeadPendulum
A Good Idea Until it wasn't an Idea Anymore
"I was drunk up on a mountain which was known to have a decent sized population of black bears. Black bears are generally not aggressive and, being drunk, I decided I would go outside to find one to pet."
"After a few minutes of stumbling around outside, I encountered a black bear scavenging in a garbage can. I realized in that moment that I in fact did NOT want to pet a black bear."
-- Brekt_
Ultimate Counter Attack
"While I was on holidays with my mates I was bet €25 that I couldn't balance on the taps at a bar. It didn't end well. I balanced for about 6 seconds then fell into the bar side knocked over a lot of bottles."
"The bartender had an interesting response, he said I could fight him, if I won, I didn't have to pay for all the sh*t I broke, if I lost, I had to pay for all the sh*t I broke and I would be beaten to sh*t."
"I won because I got hit with a solid gut punch and threw up into the bartender's mouth while he was trash talking me. Walked out with a ban from the bar but, didn't have to pay."
Lost Track of Time
"This particular night, I headed out to the patio for a smoke, and asked a girl for a light. She was by herself, and it was crowded, so I asked if I could join her. We started talking, and we actually hit it off pretty well."
"I finished my drink, and she was close to finishing hers, so I asked the server to bring us each a drink. She gave me another smoke to say thanks, and we continued talking. We talked about work, life, and had amazing chemistry."
"This is the point where my girlfriend came out to the patio to find out what had happened to me for the last hour - to find me in the middle of a date that was going very well until I introduced this new angry girl as my current girlfriend."
"It was at that point she dragged me back in - to the table we were sharing with her parents. Her dad never offered me hard liquor again."
Tourists
"Went to University of Wisconsin Madison to party on Halloween. It was a 2 hour drive and was drinking on the way. Got there at 5 pm and started chugging Goldschlager and Vodka. Last thing I remember it was 7pm so it was time to go to the house parties. Don't remember anything until 10am the next day when I woke up."
"Apparently I puked in 3 randoms peoples houses, and not in the bathroom. I didn't know any of them. I called and texted my exes that were in town as well, then got super pissed off when they wouldn't meet up with me. I got my best friend jumped by a group of guys. I broke someone's toilet and someone else's door."
"The whole night was stupid and was so embarrassed."
-- WunderXl
A True Competitor
"Joined a hot wing competition out of a dare from my ex-gf, who knows I can't handle spicy/hot foods real well. We were both drunk out of our minds and she promised to do some real dirty stuff in our hotel room later that night if I ended up eating at least 15 wings."
"What was supposed to be a fun filled 4 day weekend ended up being an ER visit and a 3 day stay at the hospital for capsaicin poisoning."
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.