People Share Their Most Memorable 'If It Costs You Your Peace, Then It's Too Expensive' Moment
We humans are not the best at applying reason-driven cost-benefit analysis in real time. Instead, an event suddenly takes place and we're pulled deeper and deeper into an emotional response.
The consequences of that tendency can be large, and various.
Rather than assess, say, the entire context of an argument with some stranger at the DMV, sizing up whether the exchange is worth it at all, we burrow in with a voice that gets louder and fists tha clench tighter.
That can feel satisfying, even necessary in the moment. But when the dust settles and logical thinking returns--far too late to be of use--we realize what a wasted of stress and energy it was.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to share their most memorable examples of these ill-advised moments. Hopefully, reading this will help you avoid sliding into one in the future.
"Ever fight over a parking spot and win, and then realize as you're walking away from the car that it will be left unattended for who knows how long?" -- DougFordSucksFightMe
"I've never understood people getting so worked up over a parking spot unless it's in the city or something like that where parking spots are rare and you may have to walk an hour to get where you need to go" -- ParkityParkPark
The Bottomless Supply of Trolls
"Winning arguments on Reddit. Nine times out of ten I just let it go, because otherwise I will literally spend all day on a pointless argument with someone who doesn't even have a face." -- Alex_Duos
"For me, it's all about the stubbornness to entertainment ratio. If I'm going to be arguing online with some other a**hole, I damn sure better be enjoying myself, or else it's just not worth it." -- Smegma_On_Demand
Sometimes Ya Just Want Something Nice
"I had a 20 year old Saturn that I intended to drive until the wheels fell off. Well even though COVID has meant I basically never leave the house, I bought a new car in 2020."
"I've put about 1500 miles on it so far, and that's it. But the thing is, even though I rarely drive it, when I DO drive it I'm no longer asking myself the question "Is today the day the wheels fall off?" every time I leave town."
"Some may argue buying a new car I've hardly driven is a stupid move. I say I'd rather be stupid and happy than smart and miserable."
Not Worth Zombification
"Work-life balance in my job. Nothing is ever on fire, nothing has to be dealt with at 11 at night or on the weekends regardless of who's sending a Slack at those times."
"I protect my evenings and weekends with a ferocity."
"My husband's family has money. When we were first starting out, we were encouraged to ask his grandparents for help, but we didn't want to. When we bought our first home, they were 'offended' that we got a mortgage from a bank instead of using 'family money.'"
"Twenty years later, we are happy in our own little bubble. We have no stake in any family drama, and we only visit when we feel like it. We don't owe anybody a damn thing, and even though it sometimes sucks to be the poor relations, the peace of mind is priceless."
LET. IT. GO.
"I used to carry around a lot of hate."
"I had a few people that I relished the idea of provoking into a fight so I could do serious harm."
"It took a while, but eventually I learned what it was doing to me, and realized that they probably didn't give me a second thought. They were getting free real estate in my head."
Two Solutions: Generosity, or Buying More Fries
"When my girlfriend swore up and down the drive thru that she wasn't hungry and didn't want anything, then snacks on my animal fries the whole way home."
"Being hangry enough to brake check the whole thing on to the floor wasn't worth the fallout. One of my ugliest moments as an adult and should have just taken the fry tax."
Like the Trolls, They'll Keep Coming
"Bad customers. I've learned over the years to turn away difficult clients/jobs. Some people won't be happy, regardless what you give them. I don't need that anxiety no more." -- 12vElectronics
"I'll have to learn to do this better. I cut a some clients a few years ago and things dramatically improved. They were talking up too much time for the reward. Others have now crept into the system though. I'll have to start a cull again. The 80/20 rule springs to mind." -- StingerMcGee
Enough Is Enough
"My relationship with my brother. I grew up with the 'blood is thicker than water' mentality, but he treated me in ways that made me feel worthless. I haven't spoken to him in about five years."
"He can think whatever he wants about me, but I don't need to hear it."
It's a Third of Your Life
"This past year I resigned from a job (one in my field) that was literally causing me to have full-blown panic attacks from stress for a job that pays less. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. No job is worth being unhappy."
"Playing a high level sport. Played baseball since I was a kid, very good at it, started to get scouted by universities and even some Pro teams."
"Eventually I got a scholarship for it to go to a school in the states (from Canada) as I got older though I realized I didn't love it, just enjoyed being good at it and seeing my parents happy."
"When I got to university it was a total struggle, I'm not one to need motivation to practice or workout but I hated my team, hated my coaching staff, didn't like the school either but kept going because I didn't want to disappoint anyone."
"Fast forward to Covid with no baseball and all this free time on my hands to pursue other passions and fun things I couldn't while always playing baseball. Now because of the pandemic I've realized there's so much more than just trying to make others happy."
Carrying More Than Your Share
"Taking care of other people/ friends mental health constantly. I didn't mind venting but I definitely let people vent to me too much and the worry kept me up at night."
"Thankfully my friends don't do it as much anymore and it's much calmer"
The Weight of Ethics
"Working jobs where the company's activities were detrimental to society, the environment, or both."
"Yeah, evil jobs may pay better, but I sleep better knowing what I do improves the world in some tiny way."
"Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I've been downsizing quite a bit over the last few months in favour of minimalist living and I honestly feel so much better after getting rid of so much stuff."
"I've already gotten rid of close to 50% of my things and it is like a huge weight has been lifted. Why the hell did I have so much useless crap?"
Cost-Benefit Analysis, Explained
"I wanted to wear a top hat at my wedding. I like hats, and when else am I gonna wear a top hat?"
"But my wife was adamantly against it. She is about a head shorter than me, and all of my family is taller than her, and a top hat would make it even more apparent."
"So I didn't wear a top hat. Any benefit I'd get from it would have been outweighed by annoying her, and I decided it wasn't worth it."
"But there were compromises. It was my idea to get a bouncy castle in, which was a very popular addition on the day!"
"Past failed relationships. When the ex tried to reconnect after three years and a break up text that said 'We're done.' I spent so long wondering what I did wrong and it took a while to realize it wasn't my fault at all but theirs for trying to control things."
"They sent an email but the only thing I saw was the title and it just sits unread in my inbox. I don't need to reopen that past when my present and future are going great."
So What's It For?
"Home insurance and home warranty."
"I pay for a service. When I call to make a claim and use the service it is denied, 100% of the time. So then I have to spend a week arguing about why it shouldn't be denied, or why I should get my money back. Not worth it."
As an American and a foodie, one of my favorite things to do when visiting different countries is try local cuisine. Some foods, such as butterscotch ice cream, are more readily available -- and more delicious! -- in other countries.
However, there are some dishes that are just plain questionable. Personally, I never got why certain countries serve beans as part of their breakfast.
Of course, we're not the only ones that find certain foods questionable. People from other counties find some American foods questionable as well.
Redditors were only too happy to share their experiences with this topic.
It all started when Redditor HurtHurtsMe asked:
"Non-Americans, what American food do you find questionable?"
"My parents are immigrants, they always say the desserts (grocery store cupcakes and stuff) has so much sugar it feels too gritty and uncooked to them. Also soft baked things, like chewy chocolate chip cookies they thought were weird in the beginning, like the cookie was undercooked. I love soft baked cookies though so I baked them all the time, they’ve come around to liking them haha."
"Another one I hear a lot is the food coloring. My mom is often perplexed and grossed out by very saturated unnaturally colored foods. (Usually frosting or candy) She tells me it just LOOKS unhealthy and is unappetizing."
"Also, my mom is low key traumatized from twizzlers LOL. She said the first time she saw it she wondered why people were chewing on plastic. She then tried it and said it also tasted like plastic. Haha."
Unaptly Named Restaurant
"As an Australian, I would like to know what in the flying firetruck a "Bloomin' Onion" has to do with anything, let alone the rest of Outback Steakhouse's menu."
Not Just Lemonade
"Four loko. It’s banned here in Canada and I can understand why."
"Four Loko is a Canadian brand of lemonade. It originally had alcohol(~11% by volume)and caffeine. This mix was banned in Canada around 2010 so they dropped the caffeine and kept the alcohol."
"I turned 21 a year or so after they made the change...but my dad saved a box of 9 cans and sent them back to college with me. They were no f*cking joke"
"Sweet Potato Casserole recipe topped with pecans and marshmallows “traditional side at Thanksgiving table”"
"I saw a youtube video of people trying traditional american thanksgiving food and I was convinced the potato marshmallow casserole was a joke. surely it's not for real ?"
In Days Of Yore
"Anything from the 50’s. Especially if it includes jello, mayonnaise or raisins"
"I will not be convinced that 50s cuisine was anything other than angry housewives taking revenge on society."
"I remember a lime jello tuna salad ring made in a bundt pan by a distant relative. We told her with her work schedule she shouldn't bother with bringing food to pot lucks"
Definitely A Werid One
"Corn candy or whatever the name is."
"Candy corn. It's good in small doses, anything more is too much."
"To be fair, a lot of Americans find candy corn to be questionable"
"I feel a lot of our more unique foods were beaten out of the culture by the post-WWII obsession with frozen processed food pushing out traditional “poor” food."
"Kidneys, liver, beef tongue, chitlins, and other offal used to be staples of the American diet."
"My grandmother was born in 1936 and she is delighted that no one eats those things anymore lol"
Not A Staple Everywhere
"Pb&j had me confused for a while but when i took a bite i loved it. Not judging any other non-americans for not trying this because peanutbutter and jelly aren't put together in most countries outside of America."
"I keep seeing this reference, and I am just gobsmacked that pb&j is mentioned so often. It's so ubiquitous in the US, that I have never even considered it would be considered odd by non-Americans."
Not Sure That's Even A Salad
"Minnesota salads 🥲😬 like WTF America! crushed pineapples and marshmallows are not ingredients that belong near a salad"
"Majority of Americans share your sentiments lol"
"I'm from Pennsylvania and I never heard of Minnesota salad. Just Googled it and YO WHAT THE F*CK'S GOING ON IN MINNESOTA"
Not Real Cheese
"I'm sorry but those slices of American cheese have always tasted so fake and plastic to me personally."
"Slices of cheese product often are not cheese, so that's why."
"They are designed to melt quickly, which is why they're popular for burgers at cookouts or maybe a grilled cheese sandwich (though you really should pair it with other cheeses too). It's not "good" cheese by any stretch, but Americans really love convenience!"
"For anyone don't know - Literally means "Tea Tea""
"BTW, it doesn't taste like Chai"
""What is this? Hot leaf juice?""
Not For The Current Environment
"100% agree. If I recall correctly it was supposed to be cheap affordable chocolate back in 1905 and really caught on as something the military would send with soldiers to help with morale since it lasted a long time and wouldn't melt as easily as other options."
Kraft And Cheese
"Kraft Mac and cheese. It tastes nothing like real Mac and cheese"
"My Indian friend finds Kraft Mac and Cheese to be incredibly questionable. Honestly, I gotta agree that sh*t a bit too bright yellow to be normal."
In A Can
"My mind is boggled by the amount of comments saying spray cheese. I’ve lived in the US my entire life (40 yrs) and worked in a grocery store for many years. I’ve never had it, and I’ve rarely seen people buy it."
"I think it is a niche thing. Definitely not flying off the shelves. It’s just so interesting seeing so many comments about it. Is that how we are advertised in other countries?"
"I don’t know anyone who actually eats it either, but the vet clinic I work at goes through the stuff like crazy. Put a little on the exam table and it’s great for distracting dogs and some cats during vaccinations and minor procedures like nail trims."
What Witchcraft Is This?
"Orange circus peanuts. What are they? How do they have so much sugar but taste so horrible? What science experiments created them?"
"My dad loved them. I think he was the only one."
I have the same questions!
Why are we still putting up with societal and cultural BS?
Seems like society has backslid into allowing behavior we proved was unacceptable.
I guess the learning was only temporary due to the pandemic.
We make excuses for the worst people.
Call out bad behavior.
It's the only way we'll grow.
A deleted Redditor wanted to have a discussion about what we as a society need to eradicate, so they asked:
"What toxic behavior does society still make excuses for?"
Being rude to waiters, because I'm 'just demanding.'"
If you are... you're evil.
Doctor's NoteSick Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Looks like we are quickly returning to the 'go to work even when you’re sick' way of thinking."
"That Family is allowed to not respect boundaries. It's something I see a lot and often trying to set healthy boundaries with them makes them treat you like the bad guy. And media and society tends to promote this behavior as love, when it's often actually dysfunction."
"There's a difference between being close and taking care of your loved ones and being expected to give up reasonable rights to personal space or to self sacrifice for them."
Not so Bad
"White collar crime. And it often appears that the more money involved in the crime and/or fraud, the less likely commensurate repercussions will be brought. The consequences of big money financial fraud are widespread and significant. It ruins many lives and often leads to the death of innocents."
To the BoneWorking Out Of Office GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy
"Overworking and lack of sleep."
"Plus missing meals to work more."
Work. Work. Work. All the way to death. Welcome back to the office kids.
Hot/CrazyChristian Bale Oooo GIFGiphy
"The 'cute but psycho'; mentality. It’s not cute to be toxic or treat people like crap because you think it’s 'cute' or acceptable because of your attractiveness."
"That if you agree with a majority of people, you are correct."
"Not even the majority of people. If you can find people who share the same belief as you, it makes that belief even stronger. The internet has exasperated this problem."
"It use to be if you were into a niche taboo or out there conspiracy theory, you were pretty isolated. Now there are thousands of others who share the same thing connected from all over the world, so it’s no longer weird. In fact, it’s normal and everyone else is wrong. And they now have a thousand other people who will back them up on that!"
"Hustle Culture. You don’t need/have to monetise every moment of your private life to make more money - you don’t need a side gig or to start your own business or to turn your hobby into a job to be happy."
"It’s actually really scary that so many people get drawn into this way of living and don’t realise they’re literally missing the living part of their lives."
"Not to mention, turning it into a job can destroy it as a passion. I’ve talked to so many artists who, once they turned that hobby into a job, couldn’t even enjoy it anymore cause it felt like they were always working, even if they were just at home late at night doodling for fun."
"Mistaking partner's possessiveness for love/caring."
"Sooo true many girls of my age think that he is possessive of me because he cares about me. No Susan he isn't possessive because he loves you he is possessive because he sees you as an object solely accessible/unique to him."
MisdemeanorsCheck This Out Saturday Night Live GIFGiphy
"Filming someone making a mistake (not crimes) and posting them on the Internet, without censoring their names and/or faces, for them to be judged and humiliated."
"This weird culture where couples go behind each others backs and snoop through their phones is really weird to me. Especially when they get mad for not finding anything. Or when asked to see their phone they get defensive. Its very childish imo, especially when it's 30+ year olds doing it."
"How corporate America looks down on pregnant workers and having kids. All they see is decreased productivity instead of treating new parents or parents-to-be as humans. I know we’ve gotten better, but it’s still bad out there for a lot of people."
As usual, society falls backwards.
Why do people leave the Church?
So many reasons.
It's an important question the Church should look into further.
Attendance has been steadily declining for decades.
Society has evolved on so many issues and behaviors that the Church just seems to stay stagnant.
People aren't going to stay where they don't feel welcome.
Redditor UK_Jay wanted to hear from everybody who left the church in the rearview, so they asked:
"Ex-Christians, what made you leave church?"
I don't mind the Church, but once I was done with Catholic school, it was see ya. Bye.
Truthtruth preach GIFGiphy
"The fact that everyone wants to be a disciple of Jesus but don't do what Jesus told his disciple to do."
"Luke 6:46 'Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?'"
"My high school religion teacher encouraged us to question our own faith. He told us that it was okay if we wound up walking away from our faith. But if we continued to believe despite his class, our faith would be that much stronger."
"One of the questions was, 'Do you believe because you actually believe, or is it because you were told to by your parents?' I finally decided that I was only Christian because of what my mom told me growing up."
"I wish every single Christian could have that religion teacher for a semester. That single semester was pivotal in my spiritual development."
"Had many friends and acquaintances that worked for the church and quit. Found out their reasons for quitting. The higher up staff did and forced my friends to do a bunch of corrupt crap. And if they didn’t, they 'Weren’t committed to the church enough, didn’t love God enough, weren’t willing to make sacrifices, will never make it in ministry.'"
"It broke my heart. I thought this was a place of love, and people who preached love. Haven’t trusted religion since. This church is a mega church in my area and keeps popping up more locations all over town. Makes me sick to my stomach every time I drive by."
Out of Focus
"The total hypocrisy of those I grew up around. Claim to be about love, spend most of their time hating people not like them. Claim to be about evangelism, literally only hang out with and talk to each other."
"Claim to be about giving, spend all of their energy focused on making more money for themselves."
"Not to mention they have conditioned themselves to avoid critical thinking at all costs. Must accept blind 'truths' at face value, OR ELSE."
For my sister...Phaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy
"When my younger sister with Down’s syndrome was told she wasn’t eligible for communion despite taking all of the classes because she 'didn’t understand.'"
Family first. Help someone understand.
Damageheavy metal 90s GIFGiphy
"They damaged my mind. I always thought I would go to hell for things I like such as horror films, heavy metal and tabletop RPGs."
"the Lord spoke to me"
"Lack of answers, judgement, and hypocrisy mostly. I also read the Bible over and over and I just wasn't getting what other people were apparently getting out of it. Also everytime I prayed, nothing happened. Every now and then someone would be like 'the Lord spoke to me.' I always waited for something like that. It just never did."
"That lack of answers thing really bugged me the most though. I really wanted what I read in the Bible to be true but I just couldn't find anything to support most of it's claims. I was really sad for awhile. And scared that the devil tricked me. After awhile tho, I didn't believe in him either."
"They left me. My first partner and I grew up in the church together. We were seen as the golden couple in our youth group. Good, proper Christian couple. Said our prayers, worked with the less fortunate, youth work, worship, I even led sermons. Eventually we moved away to start a new life together. We then broke up. I then find that I'm being kicked out of groups on WhatsApp and Facebook, people are unfriending me on social media, all from the church."
"I found out she'd gone home first and started talking to people. I don't know what she told them, but none of the people I saw as my second family, this fellowship I'd felt so welcome in even came to me to talk. I was left alone. I reached out to multiple people to say I needed prayer because I was struggling. I got nothing. I felt abandoned by God and abandoned by his people. So I walked away from that life."
"I was a preteen locking myself in a dark closet because that's where I felt the closest to God - in the darkness. Like he was something that couldn't be seen - only felt. And I looked up into the nothingness of my closet ceiling after the millionth episode of physical and emotional abuse from my dad."
"I asked him to save me. God, not my dad. I was crying, screaming. Please. Please save me. I was just a kid. Surely I didn't deserve this. No one answered. And it occurred to me that anyone who could stop this and wouldn't, couldn't exist. So I stopped believing."
ThievesExplaining Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Preachers having massive homes while the people that go to the church struggle. It’s hypocrisy from the top down."
"I gave it up for Lent and never went back."
"I did the same thing with New Year's resolutions. As far as I know, I'm the only one who has ever kept a New Year's resolution."
These certainly were some interesting stories where people encountered a crisis of faith.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
It's interesting what people are initially attracted to about a person.
Some are drawn instantly by one's appearance based on a person's general attractiveness or how they dress and groom themselves.
Others seem to be turned on by one's attitude–like how a person presents themselves in public and how much confidence they exude without an air of pretentiousness.
If and when the object of one's affection is romantically obtained, the way in which the next step in the relationship progresses could be a sexy success or a total deal-breaker.
Curious to hear strangers recalling a deciding moment, Redditor JokeRadiant3881 asked:
"How did you feel the first time you saw your partner naked?"
These were triumphant reactions.
For Lack Of A Better Word"I literally said 'woah' out loud."– ALIEN_Human_HYBRID
Romantic Thrill Ride
"Like a kid at Disney world. Hadn’t been on any rides yet but was excited to be there nonetheless."
"don't remember, no blood flow to my brain at that point."
Complete Looney Tunes
"Remember that cartoon dog where his jaw hits the floor, tongue rolls out, and his eyes bulge out to the sound of an old timey car horn? Basically that."
Confidence levels were challenged but these Redditors were pleased with the results.
We Are Not Equals
"Felt sorry for what I had to offer in return."
"Same! I’ve had four kids and had a lot of extra skin and sag. Man did NOT care. He seemed just as stunned as I was."
Embracing It All
"I felt the same way for a bit, with my hubby after baby. But every time I'm naked, even though I don't like where my body is at, he looks like he hit JACKPOT. So I feel better, knowing he thinks I'm hot, sexy, beautiful, even more so then before because I'm the mother of our child."
Physical endowments were admired.
Life In Real-D
"She had deceptively big boobs."
Object Appeared Larger Than Expected
"I felt like WOWZA im one lucky girl."
"Well, I’m 54 and got out of a marriage where my ex never felt comfortable being naked around me. My new fiancé has no problem getting naked and gives me a little show each morning she gets dressed. And she’s got an amazing body at 55!"
I'm very self-conscious when it comes to my body, but nothing says sexy like seeing the physical response from another man giving me a huge thumbs up, so to speak, after seeing me in my birthday suit.
Verbal affirmation isn't all that it's hyped up to be.
But body language? Now that is everything.