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People Share Their Most Memorable 'If It Costs You Your Peace, Then It's Too Expensive' Moment

People Share Their Most Memorable 'If It Costs You Your Peace, Then It's Too Expensive' Moment
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We humans are not the best at applying reason-driven cost-benefit analysis in real-time. Instead, an event suddenly takes place, and we're pulled deeper and deeper into an emotional response.


The consequences of that tendency can be large and various.

Rather than assess, say, the entire context of an argument with some stranger at the DMV, sizing up whether the exchange is worth it at all, we burrow in with a voice that gets louder and fists that clench tighter.

That can feel satisfying, even necessary in the moment. But when the dust settles and logical thinking returns--far too late to be of use--we realize what a waste of stress and energy it was.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to share their most memorable examples of these ill-advised moments. Hopefully, reading this will help you avoid sliding into one in the future.

lizzetter asked,

"'If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive.' When has that advice held true for you?"

Sitting Duck

"Ever fight over a parking spot and win, and then realize as you're walking away from the car that it will be left unattended for who knows how long?" -- DougFordSucksFightMe

"I've never understood people getting so worked up over a parking spot unless it's in the city or something like that where parking spots are rare and you may have to walk an hour to get where you need to go" -- ParkityParkPark

The Bottomless Supply of Trolls 

"Winning arguments on Reddit. Nine times out of ten I just let it go, because otherwise I will literally spend all day on a pointless argument with someone who doesn't even have a face." -- Alex_Duos

"For me, it's all about the stubbornness to entertainment ratio. If I'm going to be arguing online with some other a**hole, I damn sure better be enjoying myself, or else it's just not worth it." -- Smegma_On_Demand

Sometimes Ya Just Want Something Nice 

"I had a 20 year old Saturn that I intended to drive until the wheels fell off. Well even though COVID has meant I basically never leave the house, I bought a new car in 2020."

"I've put about 1500 miles on it so far, and that's it. But the thing is, even though I rarely drive it, when I DO drive it I'm no longer asking myself the question "Is today the day the wheels fall off?" every time I leave town."

"Some may argue buying a new car I've hardly driven is a stupid move. I say I'd rather be stupid and happy than smart and miserable."

-- m31td0wn

Not Worth Zombification 

"Work-life balance in my job. Nothing is ever on fire, nothing has to be dealt with at 11 at night or on the weekends regardless of who's sending a Slack at those times."

"I protect my evenings and weekends with a ferocity."

-- Fearless_Lab

Un-tethered 

"My husband's family has money. When we were first starting out, we were encouraged to ask his grandparents for help, but we didn't want to. When we bought our first home, they were 'offended' that we got a mortgage from a bank instead of using 'family money.'"

"Twenty years later, we are happy in our own little bubble. We have no stake in any family drama, and we only visit when we feel like it. We don't owe anybody a damn thing, and even though it sometimes sucks to be the poor relations, the peace of mind is priceless."

-- yer__mom_isloveley

LET. IT. GO.

"I used to carry around a lot of hate."

"I had a few people that I relished the idea of provoking into a fight so I could do serious harm."

"It took a while, but eventually I learned what it was doing to me, and realized that they probably didn't give me a second thought. They were getting free real estate in my head."

-- ApolloThunder

Two Solutions: Generosity, or Buying More Fries 

"When my girlfriend swore up and down the drive thru that she wasn't hungry and didn't want anything, then snacks on my animal fries the whole way home."

"Being hangry enough to brake check the whole thing on to the floor wasn't worth the fallout. One of my ugliest moments as an adult and should have just taken the fry tax."

-- InevitablyEngine

Like the Trolls, They'll Keep Coming

"Bad customers. I've learned over the years to turn away difficult clients/jobs. Some people won't be happy, regardless what you give them. I don't need that anxiety no more." -- 12vElectronics

"I'll have to learn to do this better. I cut a some clients a few years ago and things dramatically improved. They were talking up too much time for the reward. Others have now crept into the system though. I'll have to start a cull again. The 80/20 rule springs to mind." -- StingerMcGee

Enough Is Enough 

"My relationship with my brother. I grew up with the 'blood is thicker than water' mentality, but he treated me in ways that made me feel worthless. I haven't spoken to him in about five years."

"He can think whatever he wants about me, but I don't need to hear it."

-- PlasticineRobot

It's a Third of Your Life

"Work environment."

"This past year I resigned from a job (one in my field) that was literally causing me to have full-blown panic attacks from stress for a job that pays less. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. No job is worth being unhappy."

-- Iamjackslama

Extrinsic Motivation

"Playing a high level sport. Played baseball since I was a kid, very good at it, started to get scouted by universities and even some Pro teams."

"Eventually I got a scholarship for it to go to a school in the states (from Canada) as I got older though I realized I didn't love it, just enjoyed being good at it and seeing my parents happy."

"When I got to university it was a total struggle, I'm not one to need motivation to practice or workout but I hated my team, hated my coaching staff, didn't like the school either but kept going because I didn't want to disappoint anyone."

"Fast forward to Covid with no baseball and all this free time on my hands to pursue other passions and fun things I couldn't while always playing baseball. Now because of the pandemic I've realized there's so much more than just trying to make others happy."

-- awkarfnar

Carrying More Than Your Share

"Taking care of other people/ friends mental health constantly. I didn't mind venting but I definitely let people vent to me too much and the worry kept me up at night."

"Thankfully my friends don't do it as much anymore and it's much calmer"

-- Idiotic_oliver

The Weight of Ethics

"Working jobs where the company's activities were detrimental to society, the environment, or both."

"Yeah, evil jobs may pay better, but I sleep better knowing what I do improves the world in some tiny way."

-- Nonsenseinabag

Less

"Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I've been downsizing quite a bit over the last few months in favour of minimalist living and I honestly feel so much better after getting rid of so much stuff."

"I've already gotten rid of close to 50% of my things and it is like a huge weight has been lifted. Why the hell did I have so much useless crap?"

-- EHXKOR

Cost-Benefit Analysis, Explained

"I wanted to wear a top hat at my wedding. I like hats, and when else am I gonna wear a top hat?"

"But my wife was adamantly against it. She is about a head shorter than me, and all of my family is taller than her, and a top hat would make it even more apparent."

"So I didn't wear a top hat. Any benefit I'd get from it would have been outweighed by annoying her, and I decided it wasn't worth it."

"But there were compromises. It was my idea to get a bouncy castle in, which was a very popular addition on the day!"

-- lankymjc

Decluttering

"Past failed relationships. When the ex tried to reconnect after three years and a break up text that said 'We're done.' I spent so long wondering what I did wrong and it took a while to realize it wasn't my fault at all but theirs for trying to control things."

"They sent an email but the only thing I saw was the title and it just sits unread in my inbox. I don't need to reopen that past when my present and future are going great."

-- Ellysian14

So What's It For?

"Home insurance and home warranty."

"I pay for a service. When I call to make a claim and use the service it is denied, 100% of the time. So then I have to spend a week arguing about why it shouldn't be denied, or why I should get my money back. Not worth it."

-- Whooplaah

People Break Down The Missing Person Cases That Just Don't Add Up

Reddit user yourlastnames asked: 'what missing persons case is the most confusing / doesn’t add up?'

Content warning: suicide.

There are truly some strange unsolved cases out there, but there's nothing quite like hearing of a person who has vanished as if out of thin air.

While some of these cases have been explained away or even solved, there are some that remain a mystery that truly does not add up, no matter how the puzzle pieces fall.

Curious about these cases, in particular, Redditor yourlastnames asked:

"What missing persons case is the most confusing [to you] or just doesn't add up?"

The Last Ride of Terrance Williams

"Terrance Williams disappeared in 2004. He's the subject of a fascinating podcast called 'The Last Ride.'"

"The short version is that he was taken into custody in Naples, Florida, after being pulled over in the early hours for traffic violations. He was never seen again."

"The deputy that pulled him over tried to conceal the traffic stop even from his own organization, but staff opening a local business saw the whole thing."

"When the sheriff's department finally looked into it, they discovered the deputy was involved in a similar disappearance of a man named Felipe Santos in 2003. To this day the deputy claims no knowledge of Williams's whereabouts, despite being caught out in a series of lies."

- AlanMercer

Paddy Moriarty and Kellie

"Paddy Moriarty and his dog, Kellie. They went missing in an outback town in Australia with a population of 12 people."

"They were last seen leaving the pub riding his quad bike the one-kilometer distance to his house. He or his dog have never been found and no one has been charged in relation to his disappearance."

- Bigred0762

Susan Powell and Family

"Susan Powell went missing from her home in West Valley, Utah, on December 6, 2009."

"She is presumably dead. Her husband, Josh, was the main suspect and just a real piece of work. No one knows what really happened to her."

"Sadly in 2012, Josh murdered their kids and committed suicide after Susan’s parents gained custody of the kids."

- AlexisVonTrappe

"This case is so frustrating since his brother and father are both dead too. We’ll never know what happened to Susan, but I’m positive she’s in an old mine shaft somewhere. F**k Josh Powell."

- burittosquirrel

​The Last Call from Brandon Swanson

"Brandon Swanson. He drove into a ditch and called his parents for help. They stayed on the phone with him for 47 minutes while they drove around looking for him."

"They heard him say, 'Oh s**t,' and then the phone went silent. They eventually found his car far away from where he said he was but he was never found."

- kittengoesrawr

"Reading this was absolutely chilling. It seems at first glance that it's most likely he drowned, but that really doesn't make sense because the water was only 10 feet deep and they would have found the body."

"He just suddenly said, 'OH S**T!' and the phone went silent, but he did not hang up. The phone call continued with total silence from his end. What the f**k happened to him?"

- angelposts

Babysitter Mar Lou Bostwick

"Mary Lou Bostwick. She disappeared July 18, 1972, from Waverly, New York. She was dropped off by her dad to babysit at a friend's house. This was also her 16th birthday. Her mom stopped by later with a cake and presents."

"The people in the apartment told her that Mary never showed up. However, her bag was in the residence. Nothing else was ever found."

"There was another girl around the same age, Sharon Coston, who was abducted and murdered in a nearby town about a year later. October 1983 in Sayre, Pennsylvania."

"There was a man convicted of that, but he always denied doing anything to Mary. One of the people who testified against him and was given immunity was a suspect in Mary's case. Mary's mom thinks there's a connection, but nothing was ever really found."

"I've sadly never seen anyone cover her disappearance on any of the podcasts or YouTube shows."

- Vamp459

Derek Seehausen of San Diego

​"Derek Seehausen. My friend was dating him at the time of his disappearance, and he was actively planning his future in medicine, and was last seen in San Diego."

"I saw him about two months before he disappeared. Please send any tips."

- Hereforit2022Y

The Beaumont Children

"The Beaumont Children. Three kids go to the beach, are seen with a mystery man, and never make it back home."

"Never found out who the man was or where they went. Their parents just recently died without ever getting any closure."

- snguyenx96

Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes

"Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes. The whole family (parents and four kids) went missing overnight in 2011."

"Employers, schools, and the extended family received weird letters informing of their absence or departure (one of them saying they are going into a witness protection program). Two weeks later they found the corpses of the mother, the kids, and the dog hidden behind the house."

"They investigated and retraced the father’s whereabouts in the south of France. He was last seen leaving a hotel a few days before. The region was thoroughly searched, but he was never to be found."

- z4zazym

Branson Perry of Skidmore

"Branson Perry, aged 20, disappeared from Skidmore, Missouri in April 2001."

"He was working on his house with a friend, went to the shed to grab some power cords, and was never seen again."

- AdamR91

The Incomplete Story of Marshall Iwassa

"Marshall Iwassa. Good guy."

"He came back to his hometown to visit his family and friends, and everything by all accounts was good. He left to take the two-hour drive to where he was living and never made it. Instead, it was recorded he spent the entire night trying to get into his storage unit and then nothing."

"A week or maybe more, his truck was found 12 hours away on a back road in the middle of the woods burnt to a crisp with belongings thrown about everywhere, no sign of Marshal."

"From what I remember, the family was adamant that some of the things inside the truck, burnt or not, were missing, things they knew he had. The truck was even missing parts."

"It's been four years and there's never been answers. It makes me sad and fearful of long travels. From what I know of him, he was a fantastic friend; I hope they get closure one day."

- devbot8

Out Shopping Asha Degree

"Asha Degree."

"She went missing at the age of nine from Shelby, North Carolina, United States. In the early morning hours of February 14, 2000, for reasons unknown, she packed her bookbag, left her family home north of the city, and began walking along nearby North Carolina Highway 18 despite heavy rain and wind."

"Several passing motorists saw her; when one turned around at a point 1.3 miles (2.1 km) from her home and began to approach her, she left the roadside and ran into a wooded area."

"In the morning, her parents discovered her missing from her bedroom. No one has seen her since."

- EstateWeary5789

The Vanishing Marion Barter

"Marion Barter here in Australia."

"She boarded a plane overseas in 1997 and changed her name beforehand (didn't tell family). She apparently came back to Australia for a few days (according to passenger records) and completely disappeared."

"It's an ongoing investigation at the moment, there is a podcast about it called, 'The Lady Vanishes,' featuring her daughter."

"It's so tragically fascinating."

- CuddlySubject

The Grieving Bryce Laspisa

"Bryce Laspisa."

"He was driving to his parents' house (three hours) after an argument with his girlfriend, apparently due to his alcohol and video game addiction and abuse of prescription medication."

"Partway through the drive, he pulled off the highway and just sat there… from 9:00 AM to 3:'00 PM."

"A roadside assistance guy checked on him twice and said he seemed fine and coherent, and Bryce told him he would be carrying on back to his parents shortly."

"Sometime later, his car was found only a few miles away, driven off the embankment, and he was nowhere to be found. They never found him."

- Just_Raisin1124

News Anchor Jodi Huisentruit

"Jodi Huisentruit was a news anchor who disappeared in the early morning in Mason City, Iowa."

"There were signs that she was abducted and the investigation is still ongoing with new leads nearly 30 years later."

- Have_you_eaten_yet

Three-Year-Old William Tyrrell

"William Tyrrell. In 2014, the three-year-old boy went missing from his foster grandmother's yard whilst playing with his sister. His foster mother and foster grandmother were apparently watching them play outside, and the foster mother went inside to make a cup of tea."

"They then noticed they hadn’t seen or heard him in a while and searched the house and yard."

"In 2021, police began searching national parkland near the grandmother's home for human remains. They also revealed that the foster mother and grandmother were persons of interest in his presumed death."

"Earlier today, the foster mother pled not guilty to assaulting another foster child that was in her care (a 10-year-old girl). She has also been charged with intimidating and stalking a minor. Her husband has also been charged with the same crimes, but plead not guilty to all counts. The foster grandmother is now dead."

"Basically, police believe that William died whilst in the care of the foster family, and they disposed of his body to cover it up. Police are recommending that the foster parents be charged with perverting the course of justice and interfering with a corpse."

"His photos went viral at the time of the 'disappearance,' and he went missing whilst in a Spiderman costume, and the photo that was distributed was taken minutes before."

- Red_bug91

These stories are truly haunting, and it's no wonder that Redditors have worried themselves with what might have happened to these missing people.

We can only hope that answers come for at least some of these cases and that their closest loved ones achieve some sense of closure eventually.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Senior citizen using a camera
Tiago Muraro/Unsplash

The realization you're getting older can smack you in the face at any given time, and boy-howdy is it fun!

It can be in the morning when you get up out of bed, and your body makes crackling noises, or when you can't seem to keep up at the gym and you cut short your running time on the treadmill.

That's just the physical.

When you suddenly have the epiphany that you're suddenly the oldest one in a group setting, it's humbling.

Curious to hear from strangers online who are no longer the young whipper-snappers they imagined themselves to eternally be, Redditor redmambo_no6 asked:

"Redditors with younger coworkers, what was your 'I’m officially old' moment?"

These moments of realization never get old. But people do.

Senior Kitty

"My childhood cat lived to 21.5 so teaching (freshman biology lab, so students were ~18) became very weird when I realized my cat was older than my students."

– mollusck_magic

Aging In Reverse

"I'm a preschool teacher. It's been a TRIP to watch parents go from Soooo much older than me, to the same age as me, and now they're younger than me!?!?"

– Smart_Alex

The Shook Pediatrician

"My kids pediatrician was also my husband's pediatrician when he was a kid. He was the first kid she had to come back as a parent and she was SHOOK."

– trixtred

Older Together

"See, that's what really kinda drives it home for me."

"I'm not bothered that I'm 48. But that means my school friends are 48, and that's weird for some reason. Like, I went to school with a guy who was wild and crazy. That guy is 48 now, and has a new grandbaby. Somehow, he's old, and I'm just 'getting up there '."

– ThatWeirdTexan

Relics of the past don't just pertain to humans.

Dialing It In

"Had a co-worker ask me, 'Back before cell phones, did you just have to wait around at your house for a call?' Uh, yeah, pretty much."

– Status-Effort-9380

"Reminds me of having to explain the concept of collect calls to my kids. The whole speed speaking where you were for pick up during the recording so your Mama never accepted the collect call."

– DaraScot

Legendary Aircraft

"Various colleagues were debating whether the Concorde had been real. They couldn’t fathom that supersonic civilian aircraft used to exist and now they don’t anymore."

"The Concorde last flew in 2003, when these colleagues were toddlers."

– geckos_are_weirdos

Foreign References

"We were talking about where we were on 9/11, and my coworker went quiet. He wasn’t even born."

"We also had a band that was famous in the 90s stay at the hotel, and he had no idea who they were, meanwhile I was so star struck as they were my entire childhood!"

– Itsagabby

Gravity is not our friend, and not just because of its effect on our faces.

The Day It Went Downhill

"When i fell down the last couple of steps on a stairway. No one pointed and laughed like I expected, instead they helped me up and asked me if I was okay. That’s when I knew."

– day_of_duke

It's About The Recovery

"F'k. That has to be a bummer."

"You fall. You know you're fine. You feel like an idiot. You get ready to wave to the crowd as they laugh and clap. But then... a hand is placed on your arm and you hear 'that was a big fall, are you ok?' You stay in shock for a moment. Of course, you're fine. Everyone is looking at you. They all have concerned faces. Sh*t. Two weeks later, the soreness finally subsides."

– minimalfighting

Ice Slip, You Slip, We All Slip

"This happened to me as well....walking my dog the day after a huge snowstorm. There were some rowdy teenage boys having a snowball fight across the street (schools were closed that day, of course). I slipped on the ice, my feet flew over my head and I landed solidly on my backside. As I struggled to get up I braced myself for the laughter and catcalls, but all I heard was "Are you OK Ma'am??' 'Do you need help??' I was in my early 50s and had never felt 'old' until that moment."

– Ouisch

Conversations with younger coworkers can be fun.

You can quote lines from your favorite TV shows and talk about the latest CD you bought at Target and brag about your new digital camera that takes better pictures than a smartphone.

And then you can watch the blank expressions on your coworkers' faces because they haven't a clue about what you speak.

Yeah. This has never happened to me...

Old.

person getting a tattoo

Collins Lesulie on Unsplash

The art of tattooing has been practiced across the globe since at least Neolithic times, as evidenced by mummified skin, art and the archaeological artifacts.

The oldest tattooed human skin was found on the body of Ötzi the Iceman from between 3370 and 3100 BC.

Tattooed mummies were recovered in almost 50 archaeological digs across the Earth with locations in Greenland, Alaska, Siberia, Mongolia, western China, Egypt, Sudan, the Philippines and the Andes.

But while advancements in tools and inks have opened up endless possibilities for body art, some designs have garnered a bad reputation.

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surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

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