People Break Down The Coping Mechanisms They Developed As A Kid That Are Not Normal At All

Sometimes the only thing one can do in life is find the best way to survive.
Anyway you can make it through, take it.
And it all starts in childhood.
Childhood trauma is where it all begins.
We have to take on a lot as a kid and in order to do that we have to find ways to keep going.
And some of those ways maybe aren't the healthiest.
That's why when we're older we have to face the demons.
RedditorGreggOfChaoticOrderwanted to hear about the lingering effects of childhood. They asked:
"What is a childhood coping method you unknowingly developed only to realize later that it wasn't normal?"
Thumbsucking. I sucked my thumb until 13. Not great for the alignment of my mouth.
Deceit
"I learned to lie rather convincingly. I was petrified of getting in trouble for the smallest things that I learned to hide quite a bit. I had such high anxiety as a kid."
throwingplaydoh
"For the same reason, I’m scary good at lying… to the point I will halfway believe the lie myself. It’s not a trait I’m proud of, but it is useful at times."
Disastrous-Mafk
Hungry Hungry
"Eating too fast. I remember noticing this even as a child still. I was always done first. And I never out grew it. Neglect and abandonment issues."
AlternativeRope5639
"I do this too and I don’t really know why… People comment on it all the time but I don’t really know how to stop doing it. As soon as I start eating it’s like a black out or something and I don’t come back to reality until the food is gone."
Studleyvonshlong
"problem"
"Cleaning or doing things behind the scenes for my family so they're always happy, life goes smoothly and my life is serene. The latter isn't the case unfortunately, I'm exhausted and always on edge."
Crazei
"SAME. My mom was a huge neat freak to the point of abuse and as an adult, i can not handle a messy home. it's not normally a 'problem' until I'm really stressed by outside factors and find myself vacuuming the couch/cleaning the fridge/etc at like 2am."
teruravirino
Too Much
"Saying I am sorry all the time."
strawberrywine5880
"My friend did this. It was irritating to me at the time, but looking back, she had a lot of stress on her shoulders even in high-school. She lived with her grandma because her mother was a hoarder and a two-faced woman."
throwingplaydoh
Trauma
"My husband used to get really annoyed when I would apologize too much. He said that if I apologize as much as I did it would make the word meaningless. As he learned more about my trauma he wouldn't get annoyed anymore. Also helps that I don't do it AS much now, but I still do sometimes."
fried_egg_on_toast
Man, being a kid is rough. We carry way too much with us.
In the Wardrobe
"Hiding in the closet."
evilmonkey9361
"I used to hide in a big wardrobe when my step mom would come looking for me. Also hid/slept in the trunk of my car to avoid her and ditch college classes. I still get that urge to hide myself away places and just feel comforted at being able to be left alone. It's really nice to see other people have the same coping devices even if it's not great we had to have them in the first place."
Danceswithunicornz
an actual thing...
"Dissociation and maladaptive daydreaming (I just learned that's an actual thing with a name)."
Melonqualia
"This is so relatable to me. I’ve always done this for one reason or another. Now a days I work extremely long shifts and find myself placing myself out of my body as much as possible."
"My home life has gotten bad so I’ve been doing it at home recently too. I feel like the problem with this is i’ve slowly normalized not living my own life to the point where I can work like a robot for 14 hours a day and it doesn’t affect me at all, but I’m never really happy."
UnfriendlyToast
Pulling
"I’d pull out my eyelashes."
Lucky-Refrigerator-4
"Eyebrows and eyelashes here. Reading through all of these responses makes me realize how messed up I really am. Your response makes me realize that I do it out of nervousness."
elanrach
The Tone
"Making my voice as monotone as possible to prevent people (my parents) from picking up on any tiny hint of emotion. My parents would lose their sh*t if I had 'a tone' or sounded upset in any way. It's taken years and years of practice to regain some emotion in my voice again."
Jazzlike_Log_709
No Resolutions
"I can’t have an aspiration or a dream because I don’t want to disappoint myself. Like, I can’t even say that I am gonna get a good grade on a specific subject out loud, cause I am scared I will disappoint myself. Same thing with other things in life, when I apply for a specific college I will just do it and ignore it until I get a result, because I don’t wanna get my hopes up and end up not getting accepted."
"I can’t even have a New Years Resolution cause somehow I think I would fail and I would rather already expect that than get my hopes up and fail. I am scared of being disappointed in myself."
rianabdussalam
Dodgy...
"Escaping into my head. I don't do it much anymore, but as a kid and teen I lived there. I can also walk into a room and sense immediately if something is about to go down, and spot dodgy people on the street from a block away. my wife on the other hand is completely oblivious."
randomnameandanumber
"What's a confrontation?
"Shutting down when faced with confrontation."
NoToe9649
"What's a confrontation?"
"For me, this was a part of learned helplessness. I realized early on that there was no point trying to reason with my mother. I'd just say whatever I thought would shut her up. This also made me internalize the idea that getting angry was always irrational & no one who got angry had a valid point. She literally never did & filled her crap over nothing. I had to un-learn a lot in therapy."
2PlasticLobsters
authority figures are jerks...
"Assume anytime someone in a position of authority wants to talk to me, it's bad news and I've done something wrong (even if I can't remember doing anything potentially bad)."
FA-26B
"I feel you. I think the same because most authority figures do want to talk to us when its bad or done something wrong even though not always. But my experience most authority figures are jerks simply because they were mistreated by authority figures and continue the vicious cycle."
Johnnybones08
Footsteps
"Listening for the smallest sounds. Before I was old enough and had enough money to move out, when I was a teen I could hear the faint sound of the garage door opening because it would always squeak when it opens, and then I would bolt upstairs to my room because the garage opening meant that my mom was home. I can distinguish her footsteps easily. I developed a hypersensitivity to sound because of her."
bunniesandmilktea
flipping a switch...
"Blocking out all background noise to avoid emotional damage from whatever’s going on."
masterofyourhouse
"I know that... it's like flipping a switch. It's most noticeable to myself when I'm watching a movie and a scene comes on that triggers some kind of memory and so you mentally switch from being in-tune with the movie to staring at the box on the wall while the pictures on it move. Completely removes all emotion."
Christmas_Panda
Coping
"Trying to think/mentally prepare myself for every possible horrible thing that could happen to me, so that if it did, I wouldn’t be blindsided. It didn’t work I want to add that my mother died in a freak accident when I was a boy and I was blindsided."
"My coping mechanism was to prepare for situations where a friend or family member is killed out of the blue etc, so I wouldn’t be caught off guard again. It caused me severe stress and the inability to relax ever. I am older now and therapy has done wonders for me."
Budson420
speaking poorly...
"Listening closely to what's going on in my apartment or the people I know around me to hear if anyone is upset or talking about me or yelling or fighting."
lovepplusethings
"This is one I still have to actively fight. It caused me so much anxiety growing up hearing people talking in the house and assuming they were speaking poorly of me. I would waste hours in the dark and quiet listening and waiting till it was safe to emerge and not be seen. I still listen for people out and about at work so I can move around without having to have an awaked encounter."
Danceswithunicornz
caught off guard again...
"Trying to think/mentally prepare myself for every possible horrible thing that could happen to me, so that if it did, I wouldn’t be blindsided. It didn’t work I want to add that my mother died in a freak accident when I was a boy and I was blindsided."
"My coping mechanism was to prepare for situations where a friend or family member is killed out of the blue etc so I wouldn’t be caught off guard again. It caused me severe stress and the inability to relax ever. I am older now and therapy has done wonders for me."
Budson420
"not care"
"Shutting down emotional responses and forcing myself to 'not care' about any perceived loss. Apparently it made it pretty annoying to discipline me because I would suddenly stop caring about anything that was threatened to be taken away. Nobody really taught me how to properly cope with loss when it started happening and I guess my response was emotional repression."
PeculiarInsomniac
Signs
"Looking for signs, such as microexpressions, about what kind of a mood the other one is in. My therapist told me not all people do this, and I do it a lot. He also told me I developed it because I was always on the lookout on the mood of my often angry, drunken stepdad."
theWelshTiger
"I developed a reflex where I apologize and ask if they are angry at me. I have a hard time telling how people are feeling unless they tell me. Apparently that just ended up with me being the sorriest sack of crap they'd ever seen."
GreggOfChaoticOrder
Facing the past is hard. We can do it. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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- People Who Have Confronted Their Parents About Toxic Behavior ... ›
- People Break Down Which Lessons From Childhood They've Had ... ›
- People Share The Coping Mechanisms They Had To Un-Learn After ... ›
People Explain Which Things They Find Incredibly Cringeworthy That Others Don't Seem To Mind
I had to stop watching talent shows years ago because while I got to see some really enjoyable acts—especially singers, of which there are a seemingly endless number—I grew sick and tired of how scripted everything felt.
For one thing, I hate overt sentimentalty because it can ring very false, and that's how I've felt whenever I've had to sit through any sob stories. Everyone has a sob story.
The music swells and immediately we'll hear about someone's cancer diagnosis or the fact they lost their house due to foreclosure or that their father died and that afterward they found bodies in his shed and learned he was a notorious serial killer...
Okay, that last one might have been made up. But my point stands.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor TheCheeto4 asked the online community,
"What is something that you find incredibly cringe, but you think other people wouldn't?"
"You just reminded me..."
"You just reminded me of those Facebook posts that give instructions to prove who is/isn't a "real friend", always ask you to share afterwards. Like a copy-paste friendship test."
Ovesper0
I never bother with those. I always ignore them and I'm okay with that.
"People exaggerating..."
"People exaggerating how quirky, different or relatable they are."
[deleted]
You just described every manic pixie dream girl in Bushwick.
"People singing..."
"People singing at me. I have no idea what to do and feel cringe the entire time. Some people love just having people sing to them though."
FierceDragoon
Many people feel super awkward when this happens... especially when it happens in a restaurant... on their birthday.
"Starting a Go Fund Me..."
"Starting a Go Fund Me the second news of a tragedy gets out. There was an accident by me, and there were two competing GFMs fighting over who was closer to the victim."
coolbeansfordays
They do that so they can skiff the funds. People have no shame.
"I couldn't fathom..."
"Public vlogs. I couldn't fathom walking around the city holding a camcorder on a stick and talking to myself."
[deleted]
I hate them and don't understand why people would watch some rando walking around, going about his day. No thank you.
"The judges..."
"The judges crying on those talent shows on TV."
14012387504
Sob stories always increase your chances of entering and lasting longer on those shows.
"I love..."
"I love that unspoken thing where talent show judges act all surprised that the ugly person actually has a great voice!"
nardpuncher
The Susan Boyle effect (and she wasn't even all that great to begin with, but it's the perfect example).
"Dating profiles..."
"Dating profiles and bios. I just can’t not feel weird about advertising my self to randos."
User Deleted
Always awkward. Even worse when you meet someone interesting and they are nothing like their profile at all.
"Turning on music/singing loudly in public places. I always listen to music in my headphones."
VladSolopov
I would never. It's the height of rudeness.
"If someone is going..."
"Filming yourself doing acts of kindness. If someone is going to do something nice for me, and they film me and post that online I’ll be pissed."
damnedpancakes
It's everywhere. Social media is a pain.
Remember the last time you cringed to some of these? You probably do. It's the worst, isn't it?
Have some cringeworthy moments of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
Two people getting together for the first time and feeling the undeniable chemistry between them is an enchanting discovery.
Without anything being verbally communicated, a person feeling a mutual romantic passion is the spark that potentially can ignite a long-lasting relationship.
However, that spark can also burn out when passions are too high, and that gut feeling indicating a fling was over before it started is never a welcome feeling.
Curious to hear about the negative dating experiences of strangers, Redditor LynxExplorer asked:
"What made you realize the relationship was over?"
Sometimes, the inner voices of reason doesn't register, and outside indicators sound the alarm to let scorned lovers know that romance is dead.
A Third Party
"When I got a Facebook message from another dude saying 'your wife is cheating on us.' He thought we had one of those open relationships."
"Editing to add: this happened a little over ten years ago. I got custody of the kid, I’m remarried, great job, new house, I’m doing good. And I also laugh about it when I think back on it."
– This_Personality3731
Googling
"I once googled 'how do you know when a relationship is over' and the top suggestion was 'you google it.'"
– staticzapper
Changing Perspectives
"When I finally learned to listen to her actions, not her words."
– Geryth04
These Redditors reflected back on their relationships only to realize the love in their relationships have disappeared some time ago.
Contempt
"When contempt enters the picture. Hard to explain what contempt is, but once it's there it is done for."
"There's nothing like having someone you had an amazing time just have disgust for anything you do. Oh and the glare is deadly."
"Luckily by the time I got there I already made up my mind and stopped playing her victim blaming. We both had rough lives but you cut yourself to manipulate me."
"Yeah contempt."
– ScorpioLaw
Alone In Love
"when i was crying more than laughing. constant hurt and confusion, didn’t feel like the love was reciprocated."
– Training_Head9167
Waiting For It To End
"I realized that I wouldn't care if he cheated on me and would've been quite happy if he left me for someone else. I felt trapped and didn't know how to leave at the time"
"Edit: We have a child together and share custody, so he will always be in my life, but it's still better than having to walk on eggshells in my own home."
"I'm very sorry to those of you going through this now. I hope you find happiness one day."
– Pom_Pom_1985
A Powerful Yearning
"When I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be completely alone."
– Fish_in_whiskey
These are just downright cruel and unforgiving discoveries.
Sliding Into DMs
"When I found sexts between her and my 'friend.'"
– Personal-Buffalo-477
The Manipulator
"He kept breaking up with me and then making up with me. Broke up with me on my birthday (because he wasn't getting my undivided attention as my best friend was there), called me for 6 months after trying to get back with me. Called me a 'f'king weasel.' His family still tries to reach out over 11 years later."
– starfishsex
Whatever happened to communicating with your significant other when something is off in a relationship?
Sure, this is an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it's far more effective to discuss solutions or compromises.
Isn't it worse to let resentment build to the point where regrettable actions or words further destroy relationships?
Talk it out. You'll be a better person for it.
People have long engaged in passionate debates about their firm beliefs on any particular subject, the popular ones being religion and politics.
Those arguing on both sides of religious or political debates seldom see eye-to-eye with their opponents and are unable to find common ground.
But there are other arguments that are equally as passionate which people are not willing to negotiate, or at the very least, have some wiggle room for compromise.
Curious to hear some examples, Redditor lllSnowmanlll asked:
"What's your strongest opinion that's not political religious or moral?"

We are constantly inundated with marketing ads sneaking their way into our daily interactions on social media.
Enough is enough.
Audio Assualt In Ads
"Radio ads that have honking horns or sirens should be illegal. As should billboards."
– Mojo884ever
Focus On The Product, Please
"If I buy a car, I want to own it without paying a subscription to use the radio or heated steering wheel."
– topendminer
Effective Strategy
"Ads with the skip button are more effective than ones without."
"If an ad has a skip button you can choose whenever you’re interested in said product or not. This provides more clear info to advertisers too."
"An unskippable ad makes a person associate the company with a negative experience, therefore downgrading the company."
– PyroWasUsed
When it comes to our well-being, these Redditors believe the following are of utmost importance.
Ready For The Weekend
"Weekends are sacred and you can pry my free saturday out of my cold dead hands. And even then good luck because i will have hot-glued it to my hands."
"Jokes aside, self care and de-stressing are important. Take care of yourself people!"
"Edit: for everyone saying this comment is indeed political/religious: i'm just saying that having some time off to recharge or take care of personal stuff is important. It does not matter when or how that time off is, as long as you have some. I just want people to be healthy."
– Doctor-lasanga
It's Time To Let Go
"My boss asked me to come in on Saturday next month. Every Saturday. All month."
"In response, I took off all the Fridays. Due to corporate policy, he can’t deny it. At the end of the month, I’ll be quitting. This is the fifth time in less than a year he’s tried to get me to do regular overtime, and I’ve had enough. If he wants someone working on Saturday, he can do it himself."
"EDIT: I’m getting tired of all the people saying I should have 'just said no,' so let me explain why I didn’t."
"I’ve been at this company two years, and I’ve been 'just saying no' since day one. I was literally asked to stay late on my first day. For a while I did it because COVID had just started and I didn’t want to lose my job. I was very lucky to have a job at all and I knew it."
"But the demands for more overtime, more work, more responsibilities, it all kept growing. Soon, I was working 10 or 11 hours a day Mon-Sat and another 3 or 4 hours most Sundays. I was doing the work of three people and barely making enough money to live. Keep in mind I didn’t get paid for most of this overtime, maybe half of it. No OT bonus to speak of."
"Finally, after eight months of this, I put my foot down. I went back to 40 hour weeks, no overtime unless it’s payed and I choose to do it. My superiors weren’t happy, but replacing me wasn’t easy and they knew it, so they had to deal with it."
"Lately they’ve started pushing me to do more overtime again, but they still refuse to pay me for it. So, I’m done. I’m already planning on moving, but my plans to transfer to a different location are now out the window. I’m way past my limit with this company, they’re lucky I’m still here at all. So no, I won’t 'just say no.' I’ve been saying it for months and they don’t listen.
– DJDarwin93
Staying Afloat
"Swimming should be taught to every child."
– TheFrontierzman
The following opinions are about our interactions with the public.
Courtesy Flush
"If you take a sh*t at public toilets, FLUSH!!!"
– Edmundwhk
The Stigma Of Naiveté
"People should learn that saying 'I don't know' is a perfectly acceptable thing to say, and very often the most accurate."
– realistic_bastard
Gym Etiquette
"Rerack your weights, you meaningless excuse for intelligent life!"
– EndlessExploration
Road Communication
"Drivers who don't indicate when turning are selfish scum."
– Big_Undies
When using the elevator or public transportation, please let the passengers off before batter-ramming your way in, please.
The doors will eventually shut automatically but will not crush you if are entering the departed cabin at the last minute.
There's no rush.
That's the thing with people. Everyone's in a hurry to get from point A to B but cutting people off on the freeway or jamming your way into an emptying elevator will not get you places any faster.
Not only is it annoying, it's also dangerous.
And I'm done with my PSA. Thank you, kindly.
Anesthesiologists Share The Craziest Things Patients Have Said Under The Influence Of Medication
Some of these modern medicines can really pack a wallop.
Remember that Taylor Swift video her mom took of her?
That was too good.
Patients teeter between a laugh riot and a hideous, dramatic mess.
Either way, it's pretty entertaining.
Redditor DvS_Insanity wanted to hear about what we all mumble when under the influence before surgery.They asked:
"Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?"
I haven't really been under so deep I expressed these kinds of thoughts. I'm ok with skipping surgery, actually.
Fingered
"I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares me dead-on and says 'with my fingers.' Then he goes right back to sleep."
DrBarbotage
'hand... hand please'
"I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying 'hand... hand please.' and making 'grabby hands' with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn't done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept."
mercyinreach
'Ooo ithh a robot'
"My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn't hang up..."
"After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says 'Ooo ithh a robot' and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it's been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat. Probably for the best."
December_Flame
Slurred...
"I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said 'oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before' (slurred). I said 'what does it taste like?' Since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction. She almost yelled 'DEEEZ NUTS,' and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under."
Zefside89
“AHHHH”
"After an operation on a patient's neck, he woke up and yelled 'AHHHH' then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like 'oh thank God it’s still there' then immediately passed out again."
tv__doctor
People are funny with no censor. And dialogue dangerous...
Beauty
"My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later."
cassiecas88
Nasty
"I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2am with no memory making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes."
"I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them lol."
__hill
'That's my wife for ya'
"My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate - but it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they're taking her under, the doctor says something like 'Okay, in it goes' and she immediately quips with 'That's what she said.' All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said 'That's my wife for ya.'"
StrawberryPeachies
Treasures
"One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. 'Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!' He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, 'Booty call!' He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever."
mildflower9
Hugs
"Apparently, when I had surgery to remove my Bartholin’s gland (a gland at the entrance of the vagina that can get an abscess), they asked me how I felt as soon as I was awake. I said I felt like I got attacked by an elephant and then I wanted to hug everyone."
relentlessvisions
Oh, the things we'll say when under the influence.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.