
Reddit user jnsxx asked:
"What was the creepiest confession made on Reddit?"
In less than 3 months over 2,500 comments were posted. Here's the best:
45. The Power of 3...
The lady lactating from her 3rd nipple in today's confession thread. packerken
44. Come Home! Be A Phoenix!
I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States. Tomgoldaccount
43. I See You!
I still have "imaginary friends." I'm almost 30.
I lost them for a while. I don't know why or how, but it they were gone. I couldn't see them or hear them any more, not the way I used to when I was younger. It made me was miserable. I kept hoping for a way to get them back.
Two weeks ago, I somehow managed to finally break through whatever the barrier was. I have spent the past two weeks hanging out with, and talking to, a character from a well-known TV show.
I can't really "see" him visually, but I can see him with my mind's eye. He goes almost everywhere with me. He's sitting on my bed right now, waiting for me to get off my computer. (I promised I would get off a little while ago, but I had to check reddit one last time.) He's been coming to work with me every day for the past two weeks. I share my food with him. (I kind of mentally duplicate it for him, since he can't touch it in reality.)
I love it. I'm happy again. I realize most people would say he isn't real, but something about him is. I don't care. He's real to me. 863 points· 6 years ago·
42. Lead with forgiveness....
That guy who travelled far away SOLELY to beat the crap of a guy who scammed him online, and turned him into a paranoid cripple. DAVasquez-
41. UTOPIA?
The story of a guy who met this creepy guy who seemed inhuman named Jimmy C. Who claimed to have committed suicide by jumping off a bridge and that he was meant to kill him. He's gonna kill him the next time he sees him and he'll be driving a black Mercedes with the license plate UTOPIA. scaredog20
40. That Stinks....
There was this guy obsessed with girls pooping. He talked about some girl on campus he had a thing for so he'd frequently follow her into the bathroom so he could listen in the next stall while she pooped.
He also talked about how one of the greatest moments of his life was when he got to watch his sister poop, and then was privileged to be able to wipe her butt. He described it all in graphic detail.
It all ends on a sad note. I believe he was a combat veteran with PTSD. The last post of his I saw implied he was planning to take his own life. I don't remember his user name. BarneyMorphine
39. Meow Mix....
The one that still bothers my sleep is the guy who accidentally cooked his girlfriend's cat. I can't find the thread anymore, but I felt bad for the guy because I like animals and I could see something like what happened to him happening to me, so I always double check my oven before turning it on. I think he was engaged and she dumped him. MrDreamThief
38. A Dangerous Woman....
A post on /r/relationships about this guy with a crazy wife. Everyone ended up giving bad advice like "Just suck it up and divorce her you dummy!" which led to him doing it (despite not wanting to in fear of his children) and his ex-wife killing his children. NumbuhOne
37. Unlucky 7....
A cop accidentally killed seven people in a car using carbon monoxide poisoning... Not a day goes by without him thinking of those seven people. MarieLuminous
36. Just Say No!
The one guy who tried heroine and got addicted. He made a post before he tried it and a few more afterwards about his addiction and recovery. Here's the link to his first post. birthmom1220
35. Trespass!
I once helped out my a female friend's family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend's diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife. ThrownAway2389
34. Medium or Well?
Wasn't there a man that ate a corpse while his neighbor was watching? Pheeck
33. There Will Be Blood!
A bit of revenge towards someone that irreparably damaged a loved one I care deeply for. I deleted it because I felt fear for what I had said even though i was vague enough to leave out any information that could be used against me. I'm still afraid of that part of me, but I regret nothing. ZombehPlatypus
32. The Healing Waters....
Definitely the pee dungeon. Guy relieves himself in a urinal only to see an eyeball in the drain. Later he sees a guy covered in pee running out from the shop and they discover a small alcove made under the urinal large enough for a person to rest their head. Pinkfeatherboa
31. Paging Dateline....
There was a guy who sold his house with an underground bunker attached to it or something like that. He proceeded to continue living in the bunker for an extended period of time, coming and going at night, unbeknownst to the new home owners. Details might be different, maybe someone can find it and link the comment. ECircus
30. I can't Listen!
Not a confession, but the creepiest thing/link/post I have ever seen on reddit was the link to the audio file of the Jonestown suicide thing where you can hear the kids crying because they don't want to take the cyanide pill. The parents are promising them it will be all right, but they are literally killing their kids on tape. not_a_russian_bot2
29. The Confessional...
There was a guy who got arrested after he used confession bear to admit to the murder of his sister's abusive boyfriend. He said he was a drug addict, so he gave him too much, and the cops ruled it an overdose. Until he made the post and got caught... dorkmax
28. The Poo Flinger!
I once took a poop In the bathtub and then realizing what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame. ahemsoaptin
27. Pay Attention Parents....
I came very, very close to committing a school shooting
I was picked on A LOT in high school. I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and everyone saw right through it. There were these 4 cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst. After being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked (as she laughed/cheered), I decided that none of it was worth it anymore. I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that worked constantly, and cutting and burning myself didn't make me feel better anymore. So I got my dad's handgun out of the gun-safe (he uses the same combo for everything, the idiot) and brought it to school with me the next day.
I can't adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four. I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did. I had the gun tucked in my waistline. I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that i wore a couple times a week that day. I remember walking towards the cowboy's table, so damn ready for it to be over, when the gun fell out of my waistline, down my left short leg and made the loudest sound as it hit the cafeteria floor. I tried my best to grab the gun real quick, but people saw what it was and screamed, and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground.
They eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people, and had no intention of using it. I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18. I did have the intention of using it though. I was going to kill all of them. I'm 24 now, and I still think about it all the time. I have not recovered from high school. I'm still terrified of people in general, and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I'm capable of.
I'm not looking for pity. I know that what I did was wrong, it just feels good to tell the story. Thanks Reddit. Reddit
26. Chastity is rough!
One of the weirdest was the dude that posted the three part saga about his wife who kept him in Chastity. Not for any kink or anything, but because she was scared he would cheat (she was out on business a lot). Of course she was cheating all along. They got divorced and he ended up with nothing but sounded so happy drinking his beer in his garden chair with pizza in his little flat. woodsoffeels
25. Married to Your Stalker
A guy confessed that he stalked a lady for a year by hacking her love interest's computer, planted a load of proof that love interest had been stalking her and was into a load of weird and creepy stuff, revealed it to the lady, helped girl to get a protection order on love interest, used that as his own way in with the girl, and finally married her.
24. Wedding Bell Blues
Somebody said that he was supposed to cheat with his fiance's best friend the night before their wedding, but she died in a car accident on the way to the hotel.
23. The IT Guy
...a guy that was hired as the second guy for what had been a one man IT team. He had a crush on a coworker and found out the main IT guy had a crush on her as well at the same time as finding out he was doing some illegal stuff with the payroll and financing software.
Guy reports the main guy who gets fired and he takes over the position as head IT, a position he uses to get access to HR files to essentially get inside info on the girl he fancies.
21. Tragic Accident
The one where the guy confessed to burning his house down accidentally as a kid which claimed his family.
Still haunts me.
20. Recognizing an Unfaithful Husband
Some guy casually talking about being unfaithful to his wife. Curious, I glanced at his comment history. And recognized him....
My old roommate's brother. I was new to Reddit back then (old account from years ago I've since deleted) and didn't know the rules against outing people. I commented "Wow, [the dude's name], is that you?!" He messaged me telling me to take his name out of my comment.
I responded by saying I just e-mailed a link to his account to his mother-in-law (I didn't really, I was just being a cheeky monkey.) He thought I was serious and called his wife to do some damage control... and inadvertently outed himself and later got a divorce.
Oh, and he went through my comment archive and found out who I was (never take selfies in uniform!)
His whole family absolutely hates me now.
19. Reckless Driving
I remember one where the guy as a joke while driving with 4 friends reached over and jerked the steering wheel to mess with his buddy.
The car crashed claimed the other 3 people but left him alive. He never told anyone he caused it and has to live with it every day.
18. Revenge
My best friend dated my ex. I got revenge by sleeping with his mom.
[deleted]
17. Accident or Negligence?
The apartment manager who confessed:
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental. I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of EMS and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants had passed.
I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined. We have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down.
16. Stranger Danger
A guy who confessed that he would go into people's houses if they left their door unlocked. He would check doors, if they weren't locked he'd let himself in and just sort of wander around their house looking at their stuff and sometimes helping himself to their food.
[deleted user]
15. Your Eyes
It's crazy how a picture can affect you. You're simply scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and- BOOM. There they are. Looking right back at you.
You. Can't. Move.
You lock eyes with this person like you have a thousand times before, only they can't see you this time. No, this time you take the opportunity to drink them in like you regret not doing before. You're overwhelmed by this wave of nostalgia mixed with something else... Pain? Love? Resentment? You don't know. But you stare into those eyes like you did all those times before, and it's like you're in each of those individual moments all over again.
You remember melting into those eyes when they first captured you. You remember dreaming of those eyes when he first told you he loved you. You remember gleaming into those eyes when he proposed. You remember surrendering into those eyes when he promised himself to you in that church. You remember searching for answers in those eyes for the very last time... when he left.
It's crazy because there was a point in time when you knew everything about this person. It's nearly impossible to think that you were once the most important person in their life, as they were in yours. It continues to blow my mind how I used to know every Thing about him... And now the only thing I know about those eyes is that they're staring at her everyday- the second set of eyes looking back at me in that picture.
Two months after my divorce, and my ex-husband is engaged.
So I keep scrolling, and that's that.
14. Reality Check
Everything that I do, everything that I say, everything that I see, I stress that what I think I'm experiencing isn't what other people are experiencing.
I could be doing the most normal thing like walking my dog, and then a thought in my head pops up "what if you're actually not walking your dog, instead you're just dragging a leash around looking like a maniac", a thought that makes me reach down to pet my dog to make sure he's real, then afterwards, scold myself for thinking otherwise.
But then it comes back, what if I was just dragging a dog leash around looking crazy?
I don't know, there's a strong feeling in my chest that I'm not really doing the thing that I think I'm doing, instead, I'm doing something else entirely that is making others really uncomfortable.
I'm so scared man.
[username deleted]
13. Looking For Answers
You were in my dream last night. It's the only place we see each other now. I haven't seen or talked to you in over a year.
I asked you why you broke up with me and you said I was too depressed for you. And now I'm awake and upset that I'll never see you again. I wish that I could just forget you.
[username deleted]
12. Loosing Control
I'm not writing this for any reason other than that I have to need to make sure others know how badly I messed up. Most people have bad things happen to them from chance or minor mistakes, but I ruined not just my life, but so many others in an awful way and can't keep silent anymore.
I left for college several years ago. I had the chance for a full ride scholarship, but for reasons I still can't remember, I threw it away and decided to take out a loan (with my parents as cosigners!) for the same amount to go to a prestigious university many hours away from home instead. College life started off well, but I did not pay attention to my mental health and wound up cracking under the stress. I returned home, but rather than taking time to recover, I decided to go straight back to college into a similar program that I hated, albeit closer to home and with several friends.
It was an environment that was on par with any frat house, but I had to live in it. Once again I would wind up failing out of school due to my inability to stay on top of things or manage my well-being. I was pretty much the stereotypical successful high school student who failed out of college due to wanting to party and poor study habits. I didn't stay in touch with my parents, most of my friends, or even myself. The story doesn't end there though.
When the lease expired, I had the chance to go back home, but I could not face my family. Massively in student debt, and with a low paying job, I decided to continue rooming with these people that I had considered my friends. And they were my friends, it was my fault that my life had deteriorated to this point. But now, out of school for a year, and with a job that does not even cover my monthly expenses, I slowly sunk into debt, hiding myself away from the world until it was too late.
No matter how much trouble I caused, or how much ruin I bring on myself, my friends and family still showed me love and support, and I can't bear to see them in this condition. Now, bills are finally catching up, my friends are realizing how I have skimmed the house's finances to make rent, and my college loans are crippling my family. I could have had some sort of decent life, but instead I chose chaos and ruin and spread it to everyone I know. I have lived for several years with nothing but hatred for myself, and have had every chance to turn it around, but I only tightened the noose around my neck.
I'm not sure how much longer people will remain in my life when the full details of what I've done come to light.
11. Step Away
I'm very attracted to my partner's stepdad. I would like to say I very much love my partner. He is my first real relationship with a man, I even moved across the country to be with him. Before all this happened we were in a long distance relationship where I would occasionally visit and he would do the same. He met my family we all got along great. When it was time for me to meet his mom and step dad we decided to go to dinner.
The time came and as soon as we walked in the door this very good looking man caught my eyes and attention. As we kept walking we were getting closer and closer to his table and then it him me, that was his family, his mom was sitting in the same table I just hadn't notice anyone because I was so distracted by this man that had just pulled all my attention towards him.
Fast forward after me moving my sexual attraction only got stronger and I actively started to try and flirt with him discreetly. He would send me mixed signals and even between the both of us there was always this attraction where I would catch him watching me from across the room during family functions.
My head tells me to not touch this situation with a ten foot pole and let it be and not ruin my relationship or his.
10. For The Children
I married a guy. He admires other girls and he's embarrassed by me... so I cheated on him. And we're pretty much only together for our son...
9. Crushed
Almost 20 months ago, a practical stranger left a note on my car confessing his crush on me. I told him I had no feelings for him. We became friends after he confessed a secret to me, and for the next month everything seemed fine.
Then he told me that he still had feelings for me. I told him, again, that I had none for him.
He ended up betraying me. Big time.
That was when I knew that if I played this correctly, I would be on top of a very good opportunity.
So I forgave him. And I began playing him. I teased his feelings out. I was subtly flirty, friendly, and caring. Six months after he had first confessed his feelings for me, I told him I would be willing to attempt to have a relationship after he wrote me a letter once again confessing his feelings (but I told him this under the guise that I had mixed feelings towards him, and I was still working it out).
Then we went back to college, and I met someone and fell in love. For the most part. My relationship was honestly a sinking ship. But I persisted with it. Out of stubbornness and out of spite.
During the entire eight month relationship, I continued to spend time with my now best friend. We did everything together. We were in the same clubs, classes, major, minor, etc. We even ended up living together when I moved in with my boyfriend (who conveniently lived with my best friend).
We got closer and closer. He started taking me on 'dates' because my boyfriend would not. He started rubbing my shoulders, buying me presents, showering me in gifts. When he was losing faith in my loyalty to him and my promises that I was to be his future husband and that this was just a step in my 'training' on how to be the best husband on the planet, I moved my pawns so he wouldn't topple his king. Ever time he wavered, I was there.
He kept a diary, mostly related to us (we had a stupid celebrity name). I stole the password from him and read it every night to make sure my next move wouldn't upset him too much, but just enough so that it would hurt.
Finally, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was heartbroken despite the issues (I still loved the guy...).
We fought less and less in the months that followed. He began trusting me blindy, and finally he asked if we wanted to start a relationship.
I told him I had to figure out how to love him. That I was working every day to figure out how to love him. That I was dedicating my SOUL to trying to love him.
He said he would wait for me forever. That he was in love with me. That he has been in love with me since the first day we met and he knows that we were destined to be together. That he would try to become perfect for me. That he would only think of me when he had fantasies, that he would never touch another guy until I was ready to seal the deal.
I'm planning on using him for the next two years to continue to get free stuff and food and attention. Then I'm going to tell him that he has been worthless to me this whole time, and that this is all because he devastated my trust four years ago in a parking lot at my high school.
8. WOW
On the day of our 10 year wedding anniversary I found that my wife had been talking to a guy online, trading pics, talking about possibly leaving me for about a month and a half. I sort of knew the guy through the Guild my wife and I were in (world of warcraft). The night before when I got home from work she was telling me some jokes he had told her and I found it strange that she found them as funny as she did. I felt like it wasn't something she would normally laugh at. So while we were on the couch watching TV, I logged into her discord account and the first thing I saw was "I'd send you butt pics but I'm being supervised".
I immediately excused myself and went to bed, I didn't know what to think so I just shut down. Upon waking up in the morning I googled a script that would download their chat history from discord and I read it all. My heart broke when I read "I'm so angry at (husband) when he's not with me, but I'm fine when he's here". My heart shattered the first time I saw her say "I love you" in the chat logs. It shattered again when I saw "I thought banging (husband) a bunch would cure my horniness but it hasn't). I haven't cried in...
I can't even remember the last time I cried but I cried 3 times while reading the logs. It was a sick train ride of deep sadness, despair, and anger seeing the progression of this happening. Getting further into the logs I see them arguing, resolving said arguments and then arguing again. At one point she exclaims to him she doesn't know why she's doing this and that she really loves me but he's like her kryptonite and she can't help it. I can see both of them pushing each other away, yet still trading pics (presumably through Snapchat although I can't prove it) every so often. It seemed like any relationship had run it's course and they were just mechanically (or habitually?) doing this.
I confronted her. Said "happy anniversary.... Do we have another year?" Told her I found the logs and read them. She explained how it happened, that we did have another year, she didn't know how to end it once she realized what she was doing, that she didn't REALLY cheat on me (eyeroll), that she would immediately block him on everything.... I was pretty catatonic for almost a week. It's about 6 weeks later now. We seem to be doing fine now I think.
The trust is still broken though, and I still find myself wanting to log into all her accounts to check on things if she leaves her phone out or computer on. I am doing mostly ok at this point, though sometimes I'll hear or see something that reminds me of everything (like when I saw this post title) and I'll have... an attack of depression...? I guess. Hard to explain. I haven't talked to anyone about this because I still love her and I don't want my family and friends to hate her.
Now, I feel like I should note why she was angry with me since I mentioned it but didn't really explain. She was angry because she felt like I wasn't doing anything/enough around the house. She talked to me about that (while she was already talking to him). Now, I felt like I was doing plenty and she just wasn't recognizing it. However, I still took her complaint seriously. So I started writing down EVERYTHING I did around the house in a sort of daily journal: from picking up trash, cleaning up cat puke, taking care of the 'lil one, to picking up her old coffee mugs and used Splenda packets.
I'm still doing this, because I realized while I was doing things around the house before I started the documentation it was hard to say how much I was actually doing because most of it seems inconsequential by itself and I would forget what I had done making it hard to say I wasn't just being lazy. when tracking it though it's much easier to remember (without looking at the journal) and it all added together is actually alot that I do. Plus, it's just satisfying to see the pages fill up from margin to margin with all of that stuff.
[deleted]
7. Bottled Up
Over a two month period earlier this year, I unexpectedly dropped about 30 lbs of weight from 220 lbs to 190. I was urged by friends and family to seek medical help, so I did. I was diagnosed with gastritis. After failure to successfully treat it, they realised there was a misdiagnosis. I've been misdiagnosed since then with crowns disease, diverticulitis, and ulcerative colitis over a few months. Last thursday, I received the diagnosis of stage four gastric cancer.
Finally, one of the doctor's I've been seeing decided to do an endoscopy, where they run a tube with a camera down into your organs to get a better look. They found a tumorous growth inside of my stomach. It proves to be malignant. Theyve found that it has spread to nearby lymphnodes and I have an appointment tomorrow for them to check other organs they now believe may have also been affected. I do not know how to tell my family about this.
My symptoms have been persistent nausea, blood in vomit and stool, disinterest in food and even when hungry I feel full after a couple bites, I've continued to lose weight and am now down to about 175 (I haven't weighed 175 since middle school.) I'm constantly fatigued, which sucks working 60hrs a week doing physical work. Fairly constant discomfort in my abdomen as well. I've been diligent in hiding all of this from my wife, kids, parents, siblings, coworkers, and friends. I never told them much after the diagnosis of Crohn's disease and diverticulitis.
I do not want anyone to treat me differently or try to do things for me that I can still do. I just want to stay useful for as long as I can. I don't want to burden anyone with such news, and I'd like to keep my dignity for the time being.
This is my secret, and I will keep it from everyone but you, Reddit. As nobody in my personal life uses this site, I can rest assured you will keep it too. It does feel much better to get that off my chest, I appreciate those who took the time to read it.
[deleted]
6. Silent But Deadly
I fart in my coworkers small office all the time.
We're friends and all, so it's nothing malicious.
I know when he leaves and usually how long he's going to be gone so I'll hold my farts and when he leaves I'll walk into his office and air out.
It's honestly hilarious. He will sometimes comment about it. He thinks that it's because he shares a vent with the bathroom 2 doors down the hall (He doesn't) but the office between his and the bathroom never stinks so there goes his theory.
Sometimes I'll go let one off then like 10 minutes later get an IM like "Dude, this office man. It fucking reeks in here. I don't think they've changed the carpets in years. This is nuts"
Meanwhile I'm holding my sides in laughter.
5. Lars In Real World
I own a 5 foot tall love doll while living with 2 grandmas & my mom. It was interesting ordering the doll and getting this big box weighing 80 pounds into the house with no one noticing. (I sat outside waiting for UPS to arrive just so no door bell was rung.) Had to go through the front door- through the hallway then into my room.
Somehow I did it with no one seeing. After owning her for about a week it's a real trouble trying to keep her clean with people around - so strategizing clean up times in the bathroom sure is a chore. One time I had her in the bathtub to clean up and just took a shower so no one would question, then I open the bathroom door to see my grandma waiting to use it.
I just had to pray she didn't open the shower curtains while doing her business- in which she didn't. So a few months go by, some family needs to move in. I would now share my room with my brother and his girlfriend temporarily. I hide the doll in a big enough box, inside my closest. No one knows I have this life sized doll- and I would rather keep it that way.
4. Mamma Mia
I had a baby when I was 15 and he was adopted. Closed adoption. Most painful thing I've ever gone through.
He turns 18 in a few months and if he so chooses, he can find me. I'm married & have kids now, and my kids have no idea he exists. I really, really want to meet him, but I'm terrified he's got mental disorders like his biological father (who is now in prison for murder.)
3. Brain Drain
I have two:
1. That I have night terrors that I can't even explain. Usually dealing with bizarro scenes you'd see out of an American Horror Story episode. Usually about friends, family, acquaintances, old friends I haven't seen in years. Literally anyone to the point of waking up crying and being scared to sleep.
2. That I think I am actually developing Alzheimer's at age 23. I have a hard time remembering anything nowadays. I couldn't even tell you what I did yesterday. It's as distant as being 5 years-old in my mind.
I don't tell anyone because I don't like the feeling of people thinking there is something wrong with me. I already struggle with the idea that I actually have autism and everyone just interacts with me to be nice.
2. Warped Reality
I think that I am beginning to hallucinate every once in a while. Its mostly little things that are there, and then they aren't.
1. Meeting Your Maker
I'm deeply afraid of death. I'll remember that I will die some day, and have a panic attack. It's been happening on and off since I was a child, and the first ones were around xmas, so I now hate it. No one but my close friends know, and it sucks because everyone I talk to a therapist about it, they write it off as something else, like being afraid of growing up (dude no, I just told you, it's death). Now that I'm single, I'm finding these panics harder to manage. I don't know what to do.
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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