Reddit user jnsxx asked:
"What was the creepiest confession made on Reddit?"
In less than 3 months over 2,500 comments were posted. Here's the best:
45. The Power of 3...
The lady lactating from her 3rd nipple in today's confession thread. packerken
44. Come Home! Be A Phoenix!Giphy
I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States. Tomgoldaccount
43. I See You!
I still have "imaginary friends." I'm almost 30.
I lost them for a while. I don't know why or how, but it they were gone. I couldn't see them or hear them any more, not the way I used to when I was younger. It made me was miserable. I kept hoping for a way to get them back.
Two weeks ago, I somehow managed to finally break through whatever the barrier was. I have spent the past two weeks hanging out with, and talking to, a character from a well-known TV show.
I can't really "see" him visually, but I can see him with my mind's eye. He goes almost everywhere with me. He's sitting on my bed right now, waiting for me to get off my computer. (I promised I would get off a little while ago, but I had to check reddit one last time.) He's been coming to work with me every day for the past two weeks. I share my food with him. (I kind of mentally duplicate it for him, since he can't touch it in reality.)
I love it. I'm happy again. I realize most people would say he isn't real, but something about him is. I don't care. He's real to me. 863 points· 6 years ago·
42. Lead with forgiveness....
That guy who travelled far away SOLELY to beat the crap of a guy who scammed him online, and turned him into a paranoid cripple. DAVasquez-
The story of a guy who met this creepy guy who seemed inhuman named Jimmy C. Who claimed to have committed suicide by jumping off a bridge and that he was meant to kill him. He's gonna kill him the next time he sees him and he'll be driving a black Mercedes with the license plate UTOPIA. scaredog20
40. That Stinks....
There was this guy obsessed with girls pooping. He talked about some girl on campus he had a thing for so he'd frequently follow her into the bathroom so he could listen in the next stall while she pooped.
He also talked about how one of the greatest moments of his life was when he got to watch his sister poop, and then was privileged to be able to wipe her butt. He described it all in graphic detail.
It all ends on a sad note. I believe he was a combat veteran with PTSD. The last post of his I saw implied he was planning to take his own life. I don't remember his user name. BarneyMorphine
39. Meow Mix....
The one that still bothers my sleep is the guy who accidentally cooked his girlfriend's cat. I can't find the thread anymore, but I felt bad for the guy because I like animals and I could see something like what happened to him happening to me, so I always double check my oven before turning it on. I think he was engaged and she dumped him. MrDreamThief
38. A Dangerous Woman....
A post on /r/relationships about this guy with a crazy wife. Everyone ended up giving bad advice like "Just suck it up and divorce her you dummy!" which led to him doing it (despite not wanting to in fear of his children) and his ex-wife killing his children. NumbuhOne
37. Unlucky 7....
A cop accidentally killed seven people in a car using carbon monoxide poisoning... Not a day goes by without him thinking of those seven people. MarieLuminous
36. Just Say No!
I once helped out my a female friend's family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend's diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife. ThrownAway2389
34. Medium or Well?
Wasn't there a man that ate a corpse while his neighbor was watching? Pheeck
33. There Will Be Blood!
A bit of revenge towards someone that irreparably damaged a loved one I care deeply for. I deleted it because I felt fear for what I had said even though i was vague enough to leave out any information that could be used against me. I'm still afraid of that part of me, but I regret nothing. ZombehPlatypus
32. The Healing Waters....
Definitely the pee dungeon. Guy relieves himself in a urinal only to see an eyeball in the drain. Later he sees a guy covered in pee running out from the shop and they discover a small alcove made under the urinal large enough for a person to rest their head. Pinkfeatherboa
31. Paging Dateline....Giphy
There was a guy who sold his house with an underground bunker attached to it or something like that. He proceeded to continue living in the bunker for an extended period of time, coming and going at night, unbeknownst to the new home owners. Details might be different, maybe someone can find it and link the comment. ECircus
30. I can't Listen!
Not a confession, but the creepiest thing/link/post I have ever seen on reddit was the link to the audio file of the Jonestown suicide thing where you can hear the kids crying because they don't want to take the cyanide pill. The parents are promising them it will be all right, but they are literally killing their kids on tape. not_a_russian_bot2
29. The Confessional...
There was a guy who got arrested after he used confession bear to admit to the murder of his sister's abusive boyfriend. He said he was a drug addict, so he gave him too much, and the cops ruled it an overdose. Until he made the post and got caught... dorkmax
28. The Poo Flinger!
I once took a poop In the bathtub and then realizing what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame. ahemsoaptin
27. Pay Attention Parents....
I came very, very close to committing a school shooting
I was picked on A LOT in high school. I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and everyone saw right through it. There were these 4 cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst. After being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked (as she laughed/cheered), I decided that none of it was worth it anymore. I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that worked constantly, and cutting and burning myself didn't make me feel better anymore. So I got my dad's handgun out of the gun-safe (he uses the same combo for everything, the idiot) and brought it to school with me the next day.
I can't adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four. I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did. I had the gun tucked in my waistline. I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that i wore a couple times a week that day. I remember walking towards the cowboy's table, so damn ready for it to be over, when the gun fell out of my waistline, down my left short leg and made the loudest sound as it hit the cafeteria floor. I tried my best to grab the gun real quick, but people saw what it was and screamed, and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground.
They eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people, and had no intention of using it. I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18. I did have the intention of using it though. I was going to kill all of them. I'm 24 now, and I still think about it all the time. I have not recovered from high school. I'm still terrified of people in general, and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I'm capable of.
I'm not looking for pity. I know that what I did was wrong, it just feels good to tell the story. Thanks Reddit. Reddit
26. Chastity is rough!
One of the weirdest was the dude that posted the three part saga about his wife who kept him in Chastity. Not for any kink or anything, but because she was scared he would cheat (she was out on business a lot). Of course she was cheating all along. They got divorced and he ended up with nothing but sounded so happy drinking his beer in his garden chair with pizza in his little flat. woodsoffeels
25. Married to Your StalkerGiphy
A guy confessed that he stalked a lady for a year by hacking her love interest's computer, planted a load of proof that love interest had been stalking her and was into a load of weird and creepy stuff, revealed it to the lady, helped girl to get a protection order on love interest, used that as his own way in with the girl, and finally married her.
24. Wedding Bell Blues
Somebody said that he was supposed to cheat with his fiance's best friend the night before their wedding, but she died in a car accident on the way to the hotel.
23. The IT GuyGiphy
...a guy that was hired as the second guy for what had been a one man IT team. He had a crush on a coworker and found out the main IT guy had a crush on her as well at the same time as finding out he was doing some illegal stuff with the payroll and financing software.
Guy reports the main guy who gets fired and he takes over the position as head IT, a position he uses to get access to HR files to essentially get inside info on the girl he fancies.
22. Papa, can you hear me?
I am NOT proud of my son. A long harrowing tale.
21. Tragic AccidentGiphy
The one where the guy confessed to burning his house down accidentally as a kid which claimed his family.
Still haunts me.
20. Recognizing an Unfaithful HusbandGiphy
Some guy casually talking about being unfaithful to his wife. Curious, I glanced at his comment history. And recognized him....
My old roommate's brother. I was new to Reddit back then (old account from years ago I've since deleted) and didn't know the rules against outing people. I commented "Wow, [the dude's name], is that you?!" He messaged me telling me to take his name out of my comment.
I responded by saying I just e-mailed a link to his account to his mother-in-law (I didn't really, I was just being a cheeky monkey.) He thought I was serious and called his wife to do some damage control... and inadvertently outed himself and later got a divorce.
Oh, and he went through my comment archive and found out who I was (never take selfies in uniform!)
His whole family absolutely hates me now.
19. Reckless DrivingGiphy
I remember one where the guy as a joke while driving with 4 friends reached over and jerked the steering wheel to mess with his buddy.
The car crashed claimed the other 3 people but left him alive. He never told anyone he caused it and has to live with it every day.
My best friend dated my ex. I got revenge by sleeping with his mom.
17. Accident or Negligence?Giphy
The apartment manager who confessed:
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental. I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of EMS and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants had passed.
I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined. We have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down.
16. Stranger Danger
A guy who confessed that he would go into people's houses if they left their door unlocked. He would check doors, if they weren't locked he'd let himself in and just sort of wander around their house looking at their stuff and sometimes helping himself to their food.
15. Your EyesGiphy
It's crazy how a picture can affect you. You're simply scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and- BOOM. There they are. Looking right back at you.
You. Can't. Move.
You lock eyes with this person like you have a thousand times before, only they can't see you this time. No, this time you take the opportunity to drink them in like you regret not doing before. You're overwhelmed by this wave of nostalgia mixed with something else... Pain? Love? Resentment? You don't know. But you stare into those eyes like you did all those times before, and it's like you're in each of those individual moments all over again.
You remember melting into those eyes when they first captured you. You remember dreaming of those eyes when he first told you he loved you. You remember gleaming into those eyes when he proposed. You remember surrendering into those eyes when he promised himself to you in that church. You remember searching for answers in those eyes for the very last time... when he left.
It's crazy because there was a point in time when you knew everything about this person. It's nearly impossible to think that you were once the most important person in their life, as they were in yours. It continues to blow my mind how I used to know every Thing about him... And now the only thing I know about those eyes is that they're staring at her everyday- the second set of eyes looking back at me in that picture.
Two months after my divorce, and my ex-husband is engaged.
So I keep scrolling, and that's that.
14. Reality Check
Everything that I do, everything that I say, everything that I see, I stress that what I think I'm experiencing isn't what other people are experiencing.
I could be doing the most normal thing like walking my dog, and then a thought in my head pops up "what if you're actually not walking your dog, instead you're just dragging a leash around looking like a maniac", a thought that makes me reach down to pet my dog to make sure he's real, then afterwards, scold myself for thinking otherwise.
But then it comes back, what if I was just dragging a dog leash around looking crazy?
I don't know, there's a strong feeling in my chest that I'm not really doing the thing that I think I'm doing, instead, I'm doing something else entirely that is making others really uncomfortable.
I'm so scared man.
13. Looking For Answers
You were in my dream last night. It's the only place we see each other now. I haven't seen or talked to you in over a year.
I asked you why you broke up with me and you said I was too depressed for you. And now I'm awake and upset that I'll never see you again. I wish that I could just forget you.
12. Loosing ControlGiphy
I'm not writing this for any reason other than that I have to need to make sure others know how badly I messed up. Most people have bad things happen to them from chance or minor mistakes, but I ruined not just my life, but so many others in an awful way and can't keep silent anymore.
I left for college several years ago. I had the chance for a full ride scholarship, but for reasons I still can't remember, I threw it away and decided to take out a loan (with my parents as cosigners!) for the same amount to go to a prestigious university many hours away from home instead. College life started off well, but I did not pay attention to my mental health and wound up cracking under the stress. I returned home, but rather than taking time to recover, I decided to go straight back to college into a similar program that I hated, albeit closer to home and with several friends.
It was an environment that was on par with any frat house, but I had to live in it. Once again I would wind up failing out of school due to my inability to stay on top of things or manage my well-being. I was pretty much the stereotypical successful high school student who failed out of college due to wanting to party and poor study habits. I didn't stay in touch with my parents, most of my friends, or even myself. The story doesn't end there though.
When the lease expired, I had the chance to go back home, but I could not face my family. Massively in student debt, and with a low paying job, I decided to continue rooming with these people that I had considered my friends. And they were my friends, it was my fault that my life had deteriorated to this point. But now, out of school for a year, and with a job that does not even cover my monthly expenses, I slowly sunk into debt, hiding myself away from the world until it was too late.
No matter how much trouble I caused, or how much ruin I bring on myself, my friends and family still showed me love and support, and I can't bear to see them in this condition. Now, bills are finally catching up, my friends are realizing how I have skimmed the house's finances to make rent, and my college loans are crippling my family. I could have had some sort of decent life, but instead I chose chaos and ruin and spread it to everyone I know. I have lived for several years with nothing but hatred for myself, and have had every chance to turn it around, but I only tightened the noose around my neck.
I'm not sure how much longer people will remain in my life when the full details of what I've done come to light.
11. Step Away
I'm very attracted to my partner's stepdad. I would like to say I very much love my partner. He is my first real relationship with a man, I even moved across the country to be with him. Before all this happened we were in a long distance relationship where I would occasionally visit and he would do the same. He met my family we all got along great. When it was time for me to meet his mom and step dad we decided to go to dinner.
The time came and as soon as we walked in the door this very good looking man caught my eyes and attention. As we kept walking we were getting closer and closer to his table and then it him me, that was his family, his mom was sitting in the same table I just hadn't notice anyone because I was so distracted by this man that had just pulled all my attention towards him.
Fast forward after me moving my sexual attraction only got stronger and I actively started to try and flirt with him discreetly. He would send me mixed signals and even between the both of us there was always this attraction where I would catch him watching me from across the room during family functions.
My head tells me to not touch this situation with a ten foot pole and let it be and not ruin my relationship or his.
10. For The Children
I married a guy. He admires other girls and he's embarrassed by me... so I cheated on him. And we're pretty much only together for our son...
Almost 20 months ago, a practical stranger left a note on my car confessing his crush on me. I told him I had no feelings for him. We became friends after he confessed a secret to me, and for the next month everything seemed fine.
Then he told me that he still had feelings for me. I told him, again, that I had none for him.
He ended up betraying me. Big time.
That was when I knew that if I played this correctly, I would be on top of a very good opportunity.
So I forgave him. And I began playing him. I teased his feelings out. I was subtly flirty, friendly, and caring. Six months after he had first confessed his feelings for me, I told him I would be willing to attempt to have a relationship after he wrote me a letter once again confessing his feelings (but I told him this under the guise that I had mixed feelings towards him, and I was still working it out).
Then we went back to college, and I met someone and fell in love. For the most part. My relationship was honestly a sinking ship. But I persisted with it. Out of stubbornness and out of spite.
During the entire eight month relationship, I continued to spend time with my now best friend. We did everything together. We were in the same clubs, classes, major, minor, etc. We even ended up living together when I moved in with my boyfriend (who conveniently lived with my best friend).
We got closer and closer. He started taking me on 'dates' because my boyfriend would not. He started rubbing my shoulders, buying me presents, showering me in gifts. When he was losing faith in my loyalty to him and my promises that I was to be his future husband and that this was just a step in my 'training' on how to be the best husband on the planet, I moved my pawns so he wouldn't topple his king. Ever time he wavered, I was there.
He kept a diary, mostly related to us (we had a stupid celebrity name). I stole the password from him and read it every night to make sure my next move wouldn't upset him too much, but just enough so that it would hurt.
Finally, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was heartbroken despite the issues (I still loved the guy...).
We fought less and less in the months that followed. He began trusting me blindy, and finally he asked if we wanted to start a relationship.
I told him I had to figure out how to love him. That I was working every day to figure out how to love him. That I was dedicating my SOUL to trying to love him.
He said he would wait for me forever. That he was in love with me. That he has been in love with me since the first day we met and he knows that we were destined to be together. That he would try to become perfect for me. That he would only think of me when he had fantasies, that he would never touch another guy until I was ready to seal the deal.
I'm planning on using him for the next two years to continue to get free stuff and food and attention. Then I'm going to tell him that he has been worthless to me this whole time, and that this is all because he devastated my trust four years ago in a parking lot at my high school.
On the day of our 10 year wedding anniversary I found that my wife had been talking to a guy online, trading pics, talking about possibly leaving me for about a month and a half. I sort of knew the guy through the Guild my wife and I were in (world of warcraft). The night before when I got home from work she was telling me some jokes he had told her and I found it strange that she found them as funny as she did. I felt like it wasn't something she would normally laugh at. So while we were on the couch watching TV, I logged into her discord account and the first thing I saw was "I'd send you butt pics but I'm being supervised".
I immediately excused myself and went to bed, I didn't know what to think so I just shut down. Upon waking up in the morning I googled a script that would download their chat history from discord and I read it all. My heart broke when I read "I'm so angry at (husband) when he's not with me, but I'm fine when he's here". My heart shattered the first time I saw her say "I love you" in the chat logs. It shattered again when I saw "I thought banging (husband) a bunch would cure my horniness but it hasn't). I haven't cried in...
I can't even remember the last time I cried but I cried 3 times while reading the logs. It was a sick train ride of deep sadness, despair, and anger seeing the progression of this happening. Getting further into the logs I see them arguing, resolving said arguments and then arguing again. At one point she exclaims to him she doesn't know why she's doing this and that she really loves me but he's like her kryptonite and she can't help it. I can see both of them pushing each other away, yet still trading pics (presumably through Snapchat although I can't prove it) every so often. It seemed like any relationship had run it's course and they were just mechanically (or habitually?) doing this.
I confronted her. Said "happy anniversary.... Do we have another year?" Told her I found the logs and read them. She explained how it happened, that we did have another year, she didn't know how to end it once she realized what she was doing, that she didn't REALLY cheat on me (eyeroll), that she would immediately block him on everything.... I was pretty catatonic for almost a week. It's about 6 weeks later now. We seem to be doing fine now I think.
The trust is still broken though, and I still find myself wanting to log into all her accounts to check on things if she leaves her phone out or computer on. I am doing mostly ok at this point, though sometimes I'll hear or see something that reminds me of everything (like when I saw this post title) and I'll have... an attack of depression...? I guess. Hard to explain. I haven't talked to anyone about this because I still love her and I don't want my family and friends to hate her.
Now, I feel like I should note why she was angry with me since I mentioned it but didn't really explain. She was angry because she felt like I wasn't doing anything/enough around the house. She talked to me about that (while she was already talking to him). Now, I felt like I was doing plenty and she just wasn't recognizing it. However, I still took her complaint seriously. So I started writing down EVERYTHING I did around the house in a sort of daily journal: from picking up trash, cleaning up cat puke, taking care of the 'lil one, to picking up her old coffee mugs and used Splenda packets.
I'm still doing this, because I realized while I was doing things around the house before I started the documentation it was hard to say how much I was actually doing because most of it seems inconsequential by itself and I would forget what I had done making it hard to say I wasn't just being lazy. when tracking it though it's much easier to remember (without looking at the journal) and it all added together is actually alot that I do. Plus, it's just satisfying to see the pages fill up from margin to margin with all of that stuff.
7. Bottled Up
Over a two month period earlier this year, I unexpectedly dropped about 30 lbs of weight from 220 lbs to 190. I was urged by friends and family to seek medical help, so I did. I was diagnosed with gastritis. After failure to successfully treat it, they realised there was a misdiagnosis. I've been misdiagnosed since then with crowns disease, diverticulitis, and ulcerative colitis over a few months. Last thursday, I received the diagnosis of stage four gastric cancer.
Finally, one of the doctor's I've been seeing decided to do an endoscopy, where they run a tube with a camera down into your organs to get a better look. They found a tumorous growth inside of my stomach. It proves to be malignant. Theyve found that it has spread to nearby lymphnodes and I have an appointment tomorrow for them to check other organs they now believe may have also been affected. I do not know how to tell my family about this.
My symptoms have been persistent nausea, blood in vomit and stool, disinterest in food and even when hungry I feel full after a couple bites, I've continued to lose weight and am now down to about 175 (I haven't weighed 175 since middle school.) I'm constantly fatigued, which sucks working 60hrs a week doing physical work. Fairly constant discomfort in my abdomen as well. I've been diligent in hiding all of this from my wife, kids, parents, siblings, coworkers, and friends. I never told them much after the diagnosis of Crohn's disease and diverticulitis.
I do not want anyone to treat me differently or try to do things for me that I can still do. I just want to stay useful for as long as I can. I don't want to burden anyone with such news, and I'd like to keep my dignity for the time being.
This is my secret, and I will keep it from everyone but you, Reddit. As nobody in my personal life uses this site, I can rest assured you will keep it too. It does feel much better to get that off my chest, I appreciate those who took the time to read it.
6. Silent But DeadlyGiphy
I fart in my coworkers small office all the time.
We're friends and all, so it's nothing malicious.
I know when he leaves and usually how long he's going to be gone so I'll hold my farts and when he leaves I'll walk into his office and air out.
It's honestly hilarious. He will sometimes comment about it. He thinks that it's because he shares a vent with the bathroom 2 doors down the hall (He doesn't) but the office between his and the bathroom never stinks so there goes his theory.
Sometimes I'll go let one off then like 10 minutes later get an IM like "Dude, this office man. It fucking reeks in here. I don't think they've changed the carpets in years. This is nuts"
Meanwhile I'm holding my sides in laughter.
5. Lars In Real World
I own a 5 foot tall love doll while living with 2 grandmas & my mom. It was interesting ordering the doll and getting this big box weighing 80 pounds into the house with no one noticing. (I sat outside waiting for UPS to arrive just so no door bell was rung.) Had to go through the front door- through the hallway then into my room.
Somehow I did it with no one seeing. After owning her for about a week it's a real trouble trying to keep her clean with people around - so strategizing clean up times in the bathroom sure is a chore. One time I had her in the bathtub to clean up and just took a shower so no one would question, then I open the bathroom door to see my grandma waiting to use it.
I just had to pray she didn't open the shower curtains while doing her business- in which she didn't. So a few months go by, some family needs to move in. I would now share my room with my brother and his girlfriend temporarily. I hide the doll in a big enough box, inside my closest. No one knows I have this life sized doll- and I would rather keep it that way.
4. Mamma Mia
I had a baby when I was 15 and he was adopted. Closed adoption. Most painful thing I've ever gone through.
He turns 18 in a few months and if he so chooses, he can find me. I'm married & have kids now, and my kids have no idea he exists. I really, really want to meet him, but I'm terrified he's got mental disorders like his biological father (who is now in prison for murder.)
3. Brain DrainGiphy
I have two:
1. That I have night terrors that I can't even explain. Usually dealing with bizarro scenes you'd see out of an American Horror Story episode. Usually about friends, family, acquaintances, old friends I haven't seen in years. Literally anyone to the point of waking up crying and being scared to sleep.
2. That I think I am actually developing Alzheimer's at age 23. I have a hard time remembering anything nowadays. I couldn't even tell you what I did yesterday. It's as distant as being 5 years-old in my mind.
I don't tell anyone because I don't like the feeling of people thinking there is something wrong with me. I already struggle with the idea that I actually have autism and everyone just interacts with me to be nice.
2. Warped Reality
I think that I am beginning to hallucinate every once in a while. Its mostly little things that are there, and then they aren't.
1. Meeting Your MakerGiphy
I'm deeply afraid of death. I'll remember that I will die some day, and have a panic attack. It's been happening on and off since I was a child, and the first ones were around xmas, so I now hate it. No one but my close friends know, and it sucks because everyone I talk to a therapist about it, they write it off as something else, like being afraid of growing up (dude no, I just told you, it's death). Now that I'm single, I'm finding these panics harder to manage. I don't know what to do.
Y'all know that one Hannah Montana song? “Everybody makes mistakes! Everybody has those days!" That's the song I sing to myself every time I accidentally burn myself while making ramen. It comforts me to know, however, that there are a lot of worse mistakes out there than some spilled ramen. Who knew?
In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.Ocean Surf GIFGiphy
"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.Giphy
The Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphy
Voting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I
When I was younger, it seemed every adult believed that you couldn't swim for several hours after eating. Why did they all believe this? I fought them on this all the time, by the way. I shouldn't have had to, just because I'd eaten some barbecue during a pool party. Guess what, though? That belief is unfounded.
After Redditor MelonInACat asked the online community, "What is a common myth that has been debunked that too many people believe?" people told us about the myths that are still around despite credible evidence.
"Do you know how many wellness checks..."
You must wait 24 hours before reporting a missing person.
- 24 hours from when? The time you realized they were missing? The time you estimate they went missing? The time of the initial report to police?
- Who is the legal timekeeper? If this is a law, it must have a designated timekeeper for official records. City police? County sheriff? Do I hire a private attorney to file a time-keeping motion in court?
- If the most likely time to find a missing person is the first 24 hours, why would you wait 24 hours?
- If the person dies or is severely injured because the county/state refused to initiate a search, doesn't that put some liability on their office? It seems like that would've been tested in court by now.
There's no law governing how long you have to wait before notifying the police of a missing person. It's nonsense. File a report as soon as you suspect the person is missing or in danger.
Do you know how many wellness checks officers go on in a day? Call it in, man...
CALL IT IN!
Why would you wait so long? It's absurd and wastes valuable time. And in the event something has happened, you could very well be saving someone's life.
"Popping your knuckles..."
Popping your knuckles is actually harmless and the "study" that claimed it caused arthritis was heavily flawed. Studies now show that it has nothing to do with causing arthritis.
I heard this one all the time.
I didn't crack my knuckles anyway because I didn't understand the appeal. Why were all the first-graders so fascinated by this?
"That if you get too close..."
That if you get too close to a baby bird, the mother will smell human on the baby and abandon the nest.
You probably should still avoid touching baby birds for other reasons like disease or risking injury to the animal though.
"That waking a sleepwalker..."
That waking a sleepwalker is dangerous for them. They might wake up confused, but they'll be fine unless you scream at them or something.
"That your hair and fingernails..."
That your hair and fingernails still grow after you die. It's mainly an optical illusion. Your skin decays and shrinks, causing hair and fingernails to look like they've grown.
I grew up hearing this.
There are entire generations of people who believe this.
"We all know the story."
The War of The Worlds broadcast in 1938. We all know the story: Orson Welle's broadcast War of The Worlds over the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS). But people only tuned in partway through and heard the radio announcing that machines were landing in the country and were advancing and attacking. People panicked in the streets and thought aliens really were invading. There was hysteria on the streets, people were looting and traffic jams backed up as people tried to escape.
But it turns out, that isn't really true. It turns out barely anyone actually listened to the broadcast, and the few that were listening knew it was Orson Welles and knew it was just a broadcast of War of the Worlds. If there was anyone that did tune in and mishear it and panicked, it was nowhere near the hundreds and thousands that have been reported in this myth.
This one is definitely a popular urban myth by this point.
Cool story, but nowhere near as exciting as you might have heard. If anything, that mythos probably helped Welles get full artistic control of the projects, like Ciitizen Kane and The Magnificent Ambersons, that made him a star.
"You don't have to wait..."
You don't have to wait 3 hours after eating to swim. Every summer I have to fight my in-laws about it.
"Do you really think..."
That not turning your airplane mode on (smartphone) can interfere/jam communications.
Do you really think if a smartphone might endanger a whole plane with passengers they would let it fly?
"No amount of reasoning..."
That cats kill babies.
I've run into this so many times since having kids. And it's not the older grandmas making these statements. I've had 20-year-olds tell me that you can't have cats if you plan to have babies because "they'll steal their breath" or some other variation. No amount of reasoning or rationale will dissuade them of this belief.
"Maybe it's just one of those things..."
YOUR. BLOOD. IS. NOT. BLUE! Seriously tho, I was told that everyone's blood was blue on the inside when I was younger, and I honestly don't know why my Mom thought that. Maybe it's just one of those things that you only believe because your family has been saying it since your Grandma's Grandpa's Grandma's Grandma's Grandpa or something like that.
Here's some valuable advice, guys:
Google is your friend. It's very easy to debunk this stuff. I remember being taught that the tongue had taste zones––we even had to fill out a worksheet labeling the tongue's different zones. That's totally wrong, in case you haven't figured it out.
Have some myths you've heard you'd like more people to know have already been debunked? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
As much as we're not supposed to feel satisfaction upon observing the struggles of other people, it can be hard to resist a silent, internal fist pump when some blunder occurs immediately after we tried to help the person prevent it.
It is all a result of stubbornness.
The person we're trying to help is stubborn. They think they know the best way to do something, or the exact information required for a given moment.
And, on top of that, they think we're being stubborn when we try to intervene.
So all of our attempts to help fall on deaf ears. And the results can be as calamitous as they are satisfying.
TenaciousBrit asked, "What's your 'I told you so' moment?"
Many people chose to talk about the times their friends or family ended up producing some truly entertaining physical comedy.
And the laughter was only enhanced with the knowledge that they'd just predicted the whole thing.
"Was picking beans with my sister and mom. To this day I still don't know why the fence was electric but it was. I touched it and I got zapped. It wasn't too bad but it hurt. I jumped away and my sister saw me, I said that it was an electric fence."
"Of course she just thought I was pranking her. I was trying to tell her the whole time we picked beans but she didn't believe me. Right at the end she touched the fence and she didn't see it coming at all... Her face was just like, 'Oh shi-' "
"Loved the car ride home, 'I told you... Idiot.' "
No Babies, Two Hurt Backs
"My sister and I were out sledding when we were kids at this place with a really steep hill. I had unknowingly gone down a sled path that had a jump in it, and when I landed it really hurt my back."
"So when I got back up to the top of the hill I told my sister 'don't go that way, the jump really hurts.' She called me a baby and didn't believe me that it really hurt so she decided she would go down that path on her sled."
"Well, she hit the jump and didn't get back up, turns out she fell so hard she had broken her leg. When we finally got her back up the hill and to the car, I got to tell her 'I told you so.' "
"This dumb a**hole woman wouldn't leave the llamas at our petting zoo alone, even after I warned her."
"Eventually they had enough and spit alllll over her. Green goopy spit from head to torso."
"She threw up a bunch and I laughed. Until I smelled it and then I was retching too."
Others recalled the times they trusted their instincts, only to be gaslighted by medical professionals.
But they did, eventually, get the help they needed. And the mixture of pride and frustration toward the other doctor was palpable.
"Had a weirdly dark freckle. The color of chocolate. I showed spouse and he called me a hypochondriac and if I go to a doctor, I'd be wasting their time."
"I went to the dermatologist. It was melanoma."
Years of Itchy Apples
"Since I was 14, my throat got itchy when I ate apples. I told my mom but she thought I just didn't want to eat apples and forced me to eat them."
"Went to the doctor's office and got a test for allergies."
"Turns out, I'm allergic to apples, peaches, and many other fruits."
This Was a Baby We're Talking About Here!
"My newborn baby was projectile vomiting after every feeding. I took her to the doctor several times, always ended up being sent away with suggestions to try a different formula. I tried like 4 different ones, no change."
"The 4th or 5th visit, they sent me away again with the same recommendation even though I pleaded with them to figure out what was wrong with my baby. I left the office and drove to the ER instead. She ended up having emergency surgery that day."
"The surgeon said she would have starved to death (or maybe dehydrated?) had she gone much longer without the surgery. I gave the doctors in that office a piece of my mind."
Dirt: Not Always the Answer
"Went to the doctor on and off for breathing problems to no avail. A lot of 'rub some dirt on it' mentality. Wound up in the ER as a result of an asthma attack. Kept the bracelet on and everything when I went back the next week to see him."
"Not as satisfying as I would've hoped."
And some people discussed the times they knew or predicted a piece of information, but couldn't seem to persuade someone else through dialogue or conversation.
But, of course, the truth always comes out.
Chose the Wrong Partner
"Lawyer here. Fired a partner who I found some real irregularities in their spending habits vs. what they were making after he couldn't provide a good answer to where it came from. Other partner left and started a new firm with them because they disagreed with my decision and refused to look at the evidence."
"Turns out he stole 500k of a clients money, got disbarred, and is now facing prison time. I told her to look at the evidence and she didn't listen. 🤷🏼♂️"
"Someone started talking about a bottle of Newman's Own salad dressing while at dinner with my family and I said something like 'I'm pretty sure that was started by the Actor/Race car driver Paul Newman.' to which one of my siblings replied 'No it was someone else.' "
"I grabbed the bottle and turned it around and started reading the label out loud. The first sentence was 'Paul Newman's career was acting, but his passion was auto racing.' I stopped reading after that."
He Knew Immediately
"Bed frame wasn't properly lashed down while moving, partner insisted the weight of the frame would keep it in place."
"Flew into the middle of a major intersection on a left turn. We dodged four lanes of oncoming traffic to collect the pieces."
"I fixed my partner with a look that could peel paint, and he said 'I know, I know, you told me so and you're right. I'm sorry.' "
"I still give him sh** for it every time we move something. It's funny now, but god damn was I pissed at the time."
We can draw a couple of lessons from this list.
First, know that, at the end of the day, you can only do your best to share your opinion. You need to accept that they're going to do what they're going to do.
Second, when someone tries to give you advice, maybe take a moment to listen.
One of the most upsetting aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic––which is saying a lot, frankly––is the number of people who have been so affected by misinformation and disinformation. You know the ones to which I refer: These are the people who are convinced the virus is a hoax despite the lives it's claimed and the devastation it has wrought on society at large. Disinformation kills––there are stories of people who remained convinced that Covid-19 is a hoax even while intubated in the ICU, even up to their last breath.
After Redditor asked the online community, "Doctors of Reddit, what happened when you diagnosed a Covid-19 denier with Covid-19?" doctors and other medical professionals shared these rather unsettling stories.
"The one that sticks out in my mind..."
I'm a doctor working in acute internal medicine. I've seen lots of COVID over the last 12 months, probably 300+ cases. The one that sticks out in my mind the most was a 70-year-old lady with COPD. She refused to have a vaccine because she didn't trust it despite the fact she was eligible for one for weeks beforehand (in the UK). Subsequently caught COVID and was admitted to hospital. She repeatedly doubted this was the diagnosis. She refused to go to our COVID High Dependency Unit despite quite significant respiratory failure. Of course, she deteriorated over a number of days to the point where she was on maximal oxygen on the ward and at that point finally accepted treatment in HDU with high flow oxygen, although continued to doubt she had COVID. Died within 24 hours of her HDU admission having refused to go to ICU.
And of course, what did her family say? They were convinced she never had COVID and even went as far as accusing us of withholding life-saving treatment from her. Unfortunately, there's no treatment for stupidity.
Indeed there isn't.
A completely avoidable tragedy.
"My worst experience..."
My worst experience was when a 2-year-old kid got diagnosed with COVID. His mother had brought him with c/o fever and diarrhea. The child was severely dehydrated and so we had to do a mandatory swab test since we planned to admit him. It came positive and the mother refused to admit it. We were ready to perform a repeat test and we even advised the parents to get tested. Her defense was "The child never left the house. It's just me and the father who go to work daily. The grandmother babysits while we are away. How can he even get COVID without leaving the house." She had called her husband, he came with 10-15 relatives in a car, they broke a few chairs and then left with the baby. We just informed about the case to the COVID control centre.
"Only one patient ever accused me..."
Infectious disease doctor here. Seen about 450-500 COVID patients in the hospital since it all started. Only one patient ever accused me of using the nasal swab to give him COVID (along with a microchip). A handful have ranted nonstop about China. Everyone else has been sick enough to accept it, but lots still refuse the idea of vaccination even after being in the ICU.
"I had a lady who was maxed out..."
I had a lady who was maxed out on high flow (the next step is breathing tube) who still refused to believe she had Covid and was holding a negative test in her hand that she had taken a week prior.
The denial is so strong here.
It would be sad if it wasn't so horrifying.
"I'm an attending physician..."
I'm an attending physician at our Triage Unit. On a Friday, an older gentleman (60 + years) came in with his entire family (wife, sister, BIL, 2 nephews, and 3 children), none of them with a face mask. All had mild COVID symptoms except him, he was saturating 80% with evident shortness of breath. We insisted on doing PCR and a chest CAT scan looking for COVID but he and his wife refused, saying that COVID wasn't real and it was just a bacterial infection. The more we talked with him the more agitated he got to the point that his face was red. We suggested hospitalizing him to stabilize him and start treatment, but they accused us of exaggerating his symptoms and that we only wanted to hospitalize him so we could steal the liquid in his knees (a stupid rumor that was going around when this whole thing started).
They both cursed at us and said they were going to a better hospital to get antibiotics. Fast forward 24 hours later on Saturday, I get a call from the hospital next county over telling us that they intubated one of our patients because he went into respiratory failure when he arrived and they had to transfer him here because they don't have the appropriate equipment. We transfer the patient on Sunday only to find out on the CAT scan he had 90% of lung damage. He passed away on Monday morning.
Just before the family took the body away, I gave the widow the death certificate (that I filled out) and before walking away, she turns around and waves the certificate yelling "See! I told you it wasn't COVID! It says here: "Death due to pulmonary pneumonia due to SARS-CoV-2! I knew it was a bacteria!" I told her: "SARS-CoV-2 is COVID-19, ma'am."
The lengths people are willing to go to stay in denial astound me.
Basic critical thinking appears to have gone out the window here.
I'm a family doc who mostly does outpatient.
I live in a pretty conservative area with a good proportion of COVID deniers, so I've been seeing COVID deniers since this mess became politicized (I've lost a few patients over the mask mandate).
Anyway, I'm pretty pleased to say that several of my COVID denying patients have completely turned their attitude around when they (or a close family member) contracted COVID. Even if their case wasn't severe, the sudden terror that they could wind up on a ventilator overnight really puts the fear of God into people.
Unfortunately, I still have some patients who are still pretty obnoxious despite their covid diagnosis. They mostly dig deeper into paranoia. If not about the virus itself, then about the circumstances surrounding them contracting it.
"If Fauci had done his job from the beginning, it never would've hit this town."
"It's the entire fault of Obamacare that I can't get the experimental immunoglobulin treatment!" (It's not, your eligibility for the infusion is dependent on a list of risk factors).
And, probably my favorite...
"So I have COVID and it's completely your responsibility to fix it. I need you to send Hydroxychloroquine, Zinc, Vit D, Lisinopril, and azithromycin to the pharmacy..." Then they proceed to get pissed at me when I don't.
"During our peak time..."
I'm an emergency department physician in the US. I work in an area that had the highest death rate for a solid couple of weeks in the country.
During our peak time when we had national news crews here covering how we were a s***show, saw numerous people screaming their Covid disease wasn't real despite being hypoxic and on large amounts of oxygen due to Covid. That was an unpleasant time as this was still early (May/June) and it was extremely political like people apparently plotting to kidnap our state governor due to lockdowns.
Saw a lot of people refusing Covid testing who needed admission for non-covid purposes because the swabs would give them covid or put some sort of tracking device. They weren't pleased when they then had to be admitted to our full-blown Covid floors. Our Covid floors resembled a warzone because they were understaffed and relative s***hole conditions as we basically converted hallways into covid floors.
Also saw a lot of people young people who weren't exactly deniers but thought you basically couldn't sick if you were young. Lots of people with their lungs permanently scarred or at a minimum a couple of weeks of misery and/or spread it to their loved ones who got extremely ill.
"The willful cognitive dissonance..."
Physician here. The willful cognitive dissonance is real. It never ceases to amaze me how many patients will refuse assistance from me to register to get vaccinated, make claims that vaccines are harmful, but then accept my medical care on anything else that suits their whim. Patients absolutely have the autonomy to refuse care, but why would you continue to see a physician and accept their medical advice and care if you think they would simultaneously recommend something to you that would be harmful?
I've posed this question to patients who are vaccine-hesitant: "Why would you let me manage your diabetes and hypertension if you think I would harm you by recommending vaccinations?" You cannot get any kind of thoughtful response aside from, "I just don't want to be vaccinated."
"Some denier patients lived..."
RN here with most of 2020 spent in COVID land. I never had anyone refuse treatment when things got serious. I know some of the MDs I worked with got yelled at, like the rest of us...but honestly, that happens frequently anyway.
Some denier patients lived, many of which had accepted reality by the end of their stay after seeing what we all were going through to treat them.
Some died telling me I was a sheep or an idiot or a liar between gasps of air.
COVID didn't care.
This comment is strangely poetic.
Covid definitely doesn't care. The virus lays waste to people and... that's it. Good luck with your games of Russian roulette.
"People are crazy."
I work on a COVID unit and I ran into a patient like this. They'd tell me over and over again about how they weren't really sick and about how I didn't need to be gowned up in PPE. They even tried to take my face shield off. If you test positive for COVID two times then you have COVID! People are crazy.
Covid disinformation is a very serious problem and it's costing people their lives.
What can be done about it?
News literacy matters: It's important to get information from verifiable sources. Scientists and medical professionals are trustworthy. Those with backgrounds in public health know what they're talking about. Some conspiracy theory you received from your distant cousin on WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger is not worth your time or consideration.
Have some of your own Covid denial stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!