Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?

Here's an idea.

Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.

I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.

Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,

"What are some things all moms say?"

"I'll go first..."

"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"


Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.

"We have fun."

"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."

"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."

"We have fun."


I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.

"I credit George Carlin for all of these."

"When you lose something."

  1. Have you tried looking for it?
  2. Have you looked everywhere?
  3. Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

"I credit George Carlin for all of these."


George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.

"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."





"I have eyes..."

"I have eyes in the back of my head."

"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"


I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.

"I had some friends over..."

"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"

"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"

"Worked every time."


You both clearly planned this!

"When at the billing counter..."

"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"


This is my mother.

Oh God.

How many times have I dealt with this?!

"It's because..."

“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."




"If you have siblings..."

"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."


Good thing my family was small!

"My Mum used to use it all the time..."

"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"

"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."


It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!

Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.

Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

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