Listen, whoever said "the customer is always right" clearly NEVER worked in retail, or else they'd have taken that back and publicly apologized to everyone who ever heard the phrase.
My first job was at a very popular chain "discount fashion" store. I was 15. It was the holiday season. I was in no way ready for the f*ckery that I encountered those few months.
Why do people use fitting rooms as bathrooms? Why do people "try on" lingerie only to put their dirty panties back on the hangers like we wouldn't notice? Why would you assume you can leave your toddlers "playing" in the toy area of the store while you literally go to other stores in the mall without them? What would make you think you can return items you didn't even buy here?
Being young, I never worked up the proverbial spine to rip any of these people a new one (no matter how well-deserved it was) - but that doesn't mean it never happens.
Reddit user TheRoastedKing asked:
... guys... things got glorious. Check these responses out.
Check Your WalletGiphy
At a pawn shop. The lady paid me with a $20 and I gave her change. She flipped up because she knew she'd given me a $100 bill. She screamed, cursed, and called me every name in the book. Just lost her mind. The whole time, she's saying she knew she paid with a $100 bill be she'd just put one in her wallet earlier.
I asked her repeatedly to just check her wallet then to see it the $100 bill was still there or not. She just kept yelling she didn't need to check because she knew she'd given it to me.
Eventually she checked and all the anger just blew out of her. She was mortified, the $100 bill was there. B*tch.
B*tch Get Out!
I was a bartender - which is like being a cashier, therapist, and janitor all at the same time. Right after we closed one night I was sent to sweep up a broken glass that happened to be next to a table where a couple of girls were still sat finishing their last drinks. The DJ had just stopped playing music and bouncers were in the process of asking everyone to leave.
A lot of the broken glass happened to be under where one of the girls was sitting so I politely said "Please can I ask you to move so I can sweep up this broken glass?"
She gave me a really dirty look, downed her drink, threw her glass on the floor next to her (so I now had twice as much to sweep up), and said "You can't make me move anywhere."
That's when I got mad and yelled at her:
"B*TCH GET OUT! WE'RE CLOSED AND I ALREADY ASKED YOU POLITELY."
My manager heard, came over and asked what happened, I told him and he just went "OK. You're barred" to the girl, it was so satisfying when she tried arguing with him and he got the bouncers to escort her from the building.
Sort Your Life Out
I was working at a coffee shop in a busy downtown area. There was a businessman that was notorious for being abusive with our staff. One morning he came in and ordered a coffee and a cranberry scone. We happened to be out of cranberry scones that day, and when I informed him of this he flew off the handle and started swearing at me.
I looked him square in the eye and said "You're a grown man throwing a temper tantrum over a cranberry scone. Sort your life out." I then calmly turned to the next customer.
The next day he apologized and was never a problem again.
When I worked at Subway in high school there was this guy in his 30's that came in with his wife almost everyday. He was a d!ck and talked to you like an idiot. Not because he was in a bad mood either, because he thought it was funny to be a jerk to kids working fast-food jobs.
One day I had enough and took his sandwich I was in the middle of making and spiked it into the garbage can and told him to f*ck off. He told me I couldn't talk to customers that way and I told him "I just did you ret*rd."
He called the owner and dropped my name (we had name tags) and she told him that if I blew up on him like that then it was probably deserved. The owner asked him to not return.
I for sure thought I was fired. Lucky for me the owner knew exactly what customer she was talking to and knew me well enough to know it takes a lot to get me irritated and that I wouldn't do something like that for no reason.
This woman who used to come into the coffee shop I managed was the real-world equivalent of Dolores Umbridge. She was smug, obnoxious and delighted in being a giant pain in the @ss. She came in daily and had a ridiculously complicated drink order which she was unnecessarily nitpicky about. She came in one day when our grinder was having issues (which I warned her about). I happened to be on register and not on bar and so my employee (who was my best employee at the time) made the drink. She took it and left.
The next day she came in and before she even hit the register she announced very rudely in my general direction, "You're making my drink, right?"
I switched places with the person on bar in order to make it. As her drink was so wildly complicated, it took several minutes to make, throughout which I was told how terrible her drink had been yesterday, how it had ruined her day, how she'd lost faith in the company, etc. I apologized profusely and offered to comp her drink. That was not good enough. She told me she wanted the person who had made her drink before fired.
I... lost my temper. I more or less told her that I was sorry that her drink was not up to par the day before, but that I had apologized, offered a free beverage and had actually warned her we were having an equipment issue the day before, which was the likely culprit and not my employee.
She told me I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
I said "No. Actually you are a giant pain in the @ss. Your order is obnoxious and we bend over backwards to accommodate you daily and if that's how you feel please take your business elsewhere."
For some context, she had a whole list of things aside from the crazy drink; it had to be served with a certain number of napkins, her sleeve had to be facing a specific way, etc.
Coffee Umbridge tut tutted her way out of my shop in a huff and I didn't even care if I got in trouble for telling her off (I didn't.)
15 Free Meals
I was a server years ago and this woman (usually a pretty nice lady) comes in and apparently we had messed up her salmon a few days prior so the manager had given her a free meal card which is good for one single meal.
Well a few days later she comes in with at least fifteen people about an hour before we closed and they all order seafood and steak and wine and her whole party is awful to both me and the other server. One guest even threw his plate on the ground breaking it and throwing food all over because his steak was over cooked!
After all of this the other server went to take the woman her check and it was a couple hundred dollars and she WHIPS OUT THE FREE MEAL CARD. The server takes it to the register comps one of the meals off and comes back with the new total and the woman loses it.
"I have a free meal card! This was one meal for all of us! It should be free!"
The server just stiffens up and politely explains that that isn't how it works and stresses that she had to have known that she couldn't have brought fifteen people in here and expected free meals for everyone. The woman stands up and pours her red wine all over the server - who just goes "WHAT THE F*CK!?" and runs to the back to get the manager.
The server kept her calm, honestly - but the manager flipped out and told her to get the hell out and never come back. Technically they got away with it, which was a shame, but we were all so angry we just wanted them out. They were banned from that point on. That was a crazy night.
Dollar Store Dental Work
Not a cashier exactly, but a bartender.
There was a hotel next to the restaurant/bar I worked at, which often would bring in crews of construction workers and other types of traveling workers. Most behaved themselves just fine, and some of my favorite regulars were seasonal workers who stayed next door. There were crass, classless individuals from time to time, though. Usually a quick comment that they're in a restaurant, not a sports bar, was enough to calm them down, but not this group.
They came in on a Friday, were loud, rude and vulgar, making passes at waitresses and irritating other guests. I ended my shift while they were still there, and when I arrived the next day, was informed that they followed a waitress out to her car, and wouldn't let her leave. They blocked her from getting into her car, and when she finally was able to get past them, they stood in front of her car and jeered, making rude gestures and remarks. Eventually the kitchen guys came out, and they left.
They showed back up the next night, and I was instructed to deal with them if they came back after the GM went home, which of course they did.
So we started with the usual deal, "you're not welcome back due to your behavior, please leave" etc. The foreman (or whatever he was) insisted it was all a joke, and that I needed to get a sense of humor. His exact words were "You need to go to the dollar store and buy a sense of humor." Whatever that means. Remember that dollar store detail, it'll be important in a second.
So this goes on for a bit, he actually had the gall to ask for a refund for the previous night. I declined, and as this conversation continued, I began to lose my patience. The guy got more belligerent, and insulting, and repeated his weird dollar store comment multiple times. I finally lost my patience roughly the 400th time he said this, and said "The dollar store, huh? Is that where you get your dental work done? You have 10 seconds to get the hell out of this bar before I call the cops."
I could tell this was a sore spot for him, as he looks like he chewed rocks every day for breakfast. He deflated quickly, as several patrons and most of the waitstaff witnessing this laughed at him openly.
He left quietly and did not come back.
Tires and Racial Slurs
I was super busy trying to run my tire shop and the counter. I had already sold 14 sets of tires - not including the odd or individual tires - when this older guy came up and demanded I go get him a tire. He tells me the size and I inform him it will have to be ordered since we don't carry 13" tires on hand.
He blew up started calling me racial slurs I haven't heard since grade school. I told him to leave my shop. He got in my face and raised his hand to hit me.
That's when I lost my sh!t and dragged the old man off the property and called the cops on him.
The next day the dude came back in glasses and a hat (like a Scooby-Doo disguise) and asked politely to order the tire. Called the cops again and have him jailed for trespassing.
When I was working as a stripper we had our usual amounts of assh*les that would come in. At least once a night you would have a complete jerk just be a complete jerk because he saw you as less than human. I have many stories but one that sticks out for me was the time I had a customer sit right up front by the stage and not tip any of us girls. Well, strip club etiquette says if you're sitting up front in the best seat in the house you bloody tip.
This guy and his bunch of buddies (about 8 of them) were taking up nearly the whole stage, not tipping, and blocking any would-be tippers from the stage. 2 dancers had already told the group to move, they wouldn't.
Then it was my turn on stage I'm up there doing my thing and go around for tips and they laugh saying we don't have to tip we already paid door fees. Us girls don't see any of that door money. Well, the main perp had just come back from the bar with 8 jaeger bombs with red bull (hideously over priced drinks) and puts them on the stage leaner that ran around the stage. There were signs clearly stating DO NOT put your drinks up there as the stage is tiny and chances are they could be spilled by a flying foot.
Well, I saw my time to shine and did a complete sweep with my foot of all the drinks in 1 swoop.
Nearly $100 bucks of drinks gone. Guy went nearly apoplectic screaming and yelling, I smiled and said "oops!" The bouncers come over now to see what the problem was and the guy starts nutting off saying that I did it on purpose. The bouncer showed him the multiple signs saying not to put any drinks there. Tough guy says he doesn't care; its still my fault. He had caused enough of a scene that bouncer picked him up and tossed him out of the bar - like literally tossed him. All his friends got escorted out.
Call Of Duty
I was working one of the Call of Duty midnight launch events. We had about 300 people lined up outside. My boss was trying to give instructions to the customers using a small bullhorn that wasn't very loud. I stepped in with my "mom voice" and while explaining how the lines would move some kid starts yelling the names of women's private body parts at me.
I finally lost it on this kid and yelled back at him that if he didn't knock it off I'd send his @ss to the back of the line. All 300 people went dead silent but the kid never said another word.
I'm now standing there realizing that my boss is standing next to me and he heard all of that. Fast forward to the end of the night after we got all these people their games and my boss gives me a high five and we never spoke about the incident.
Change and Cigs
At a previous gas station gig, my coworker and I were prepping to shut down for the night. This woman walked in and demanded our cheapest pack of cigs, which came out to like $6.48 or something after taxes. My coworker rang her up and she drops this fistful of loose change on the counter and reaches for the pack. We both ask her for help counting it, and she insisted that it was all there. I told her that the cigarettes weren't leaving til all the money was accounted for, so she huffed and started counting it out. Lo and behold, she was over 2 bucks short, so we refused the sale. She ran out and came back with some more change, slapping it on the counter.
"There, now give me my cigarettes."
Once again we told her it needed to be counted, it was store policy, and she was clearly getting agitated. She counted again and was still short, so we refused the sale again. Then came the kicker.
"You're supposed to take what the customer gives you. Now give my my fucking cigarettes."
I was done at that point.
"Alright. Here's your change back. You're not getting your fucking cigarettes. Have a nice day."
She started screaming and hollering, demanding her cigs and to speak to a manager. There was none on shift and I wasn't about to waste his time with a stupid incident like this one. I lost my temper at that point, telling her to get the f*ck off of our property before I call the police.
She stormed out, vowing to sue the company, but nothing ever came of it.
The Subway Couple
I worked front desk at a massive two story gym about 8 years back. The upstairs level was a full size "workout" gym only accessible to members - but the ground floor contained two indoor soccer fields and two full size basketball courts. We held huge intramural leagues of all age brackets for both soccer and basketball throughout the year so it wasn't uncommon for the ground floor to be full of "non-members" as you didn't have to be a member of the gym to play in the intramural leagues or to watch your kids play.
Inside the gym they also built a small cafe that would sell sandwiches, pizza, smoothies, salads, etc. (The gyms idea to get money out of "non-members".) But since the gym was located in a heavily populated restaurant area, people began bringing their own food in, Subway, Chipotle, etc. since it typically much cheaper than our own snack bar. So, the snack bar began losing money.
Long story short, since I was front desk, my manager made it my job to tell people "no outside food was allowed." The only exception was that we allowed outside drinks. (You can't really tell people not to bring in gatorade to a gym, plus we had a Starbucks and Jamba Juice next door that the owner had really good relations with, so drinks were allowed.)
ANYWAYS, intramural season started and of course no one wanted to be told they couldn't bring food in. Since anyone was allowed inside on the ground floor, whole families would stroll in just to watch "little Timmy" play some soccer and they would turn it into a picnic. So it was no surprise that people would get heated when I would stop them at the door and tell them "sorry my dude, no outside food". So eventually to make my life easier, the owner printed "No outside food, drinks OK" on the front door and life seemed to be alright. Until the subway couple showed up...
Started off as a normal day, checking people in, pointing people out to which field they would be playing on etc. Until a couple came strolling in holding two subway sandwiches and drinks. So I had to give them the bad news.
Me: "Hi there, I'm really sorry, we don't actually allow outside food, it says on the front door. You are completely welcome to have your drinks though."
They just kind of looked at me waiting for me to say "Just kidding, gottcha." So I nervously laughed, apologized again, and walked back to my station and watched as they walked outside. I figured it was over and was relieved it didn't escalate.
45 minutes pass and another couple walks in holding Starbucks, I smile and greet them and watch as they walk by to the soccer fields. But from somewhere off in the distance I hear: "They brought in STARBUCKS!!" It was the subway couple. The husband power walks up to the front desk and begins to lose it.
Subway Dad: "HOW DO YOU NOT LET US BRING IN SUBWAY BUT THEY CAN BRING IN STARBUCKS, THAT IS OUTSIDE FOOD."
Me: "Sir, I said you could bring in outside drinks."
SD: "Well it's not just drinks, I see all kinds of food, gatorade, pizza, donuts, etc."
Me: "Sir, we have a gatorade machine behind you and the snack bar serves both donuts and pizza."
SD: "NOT THESE DONUTS, they look different than what you guys sell!"
At this point the subway mom had run up and she begins to spout off nonsense.
SM: "I feel like we are being discriminated against, let me speak to the owner!"
I try to talk some sense into the couple but at this point they keep cutting me off, so I ring up to the office and ask my boss to come down"
SM: "I've never been treated so poorly by anyone who's worked here."
And then spouted off a bunch of nonsense about how much she pays for her kids to play on the intramural leagues, how she's going to pull her kids out of the leagues, and how she felt discriminated against and that she felt I was being racist.
(The couple is very clearly white, I'm very clearly white.)
AND lucky my boss just happened to enter the conversation just at this moment.
Me: "Uhhh ma'am, I'm white."
Boss: "Yea excuse me, why are you calling my employee racist?"
SM and SD both begin yelling about how they were "selected" out of the people in the gym and told they couldn't bring food in.
Boss: "You are having a tantrum and calling my employee racist because you couldn't bring subway inside the gym? I'm sorry you feel that way but rules are rules. No outside food."
This was not the response that SM and SD wanted. They lose it and erupt with an attack of F-bombs and how they were going to call corporate and get us fired. At this point, their kids game had ended and he had walked over and I could tell they were leaving.
My boss reached into his pocket: "Here you go, here is corporate's number, tell Dave "Hi", he is actually a good friend of mine."
SD: "F*ck off."
With that subway mom and subway dad left. They never showed up the next day. I figured they actually did go through with their threat about pulling their kid out of the intramural leagues.
All over a couple of subway sandwiches.
Coffee shop. Saturday morning. Line out of the door. Lady barges through the entire line, throws her massive purse containing a small dog onto the counter knocking over both tip jars and several drinks (she's wearing thick sunglasses...you know the "it's fashion not that I'm an alcoholic/addict" kind of daytime ultra dark sunglasses) and then says she's been stuck in line for fifteen minutes and needs her drink now. Like barely even looking up from her phone. It was astounding.
To which I respond that, she hasn't been in line for fifteen minutes because the people she just cut in front of had been in line for far less than that. Meanwhile my co worker is scrambling to pick up all of the shit she spilled everywhere. I tell her: "Go to the back of the line or leave."
She's like "what?" looking up from her phone like, stunned she isn't getting what she wants, and then starts spouting off her order like I'm going to make it. I repeat:
"Again, go to the back of the line - also we are out of that."
She blows up and like "You don't even have what I want?!?!?!?How hard is your job?" Then she kind of laughs and looks around for backup...which was just, delusional. There was no way she was getting it. I f*cking lost it.
"You know what, that's not my f*cking problem, get the f*ck out of this cafe, you're lucky I don't use your stupid pocket dog as a f*cking mop to clean up all the shit you just spilled everywhere. Go call your daddy and have him take you to f*cking Dunkies you entitled piece of sh*t."
Yo the faces she made as she paced around for a few minute afterwards was priceless. She was absolutely stunned that someone had said something like this to her. Then she asked for my named and I was just like "go f*ck yourself." Then she said I was "classy."
She once again tried to get the other people in line to take her side by saying all kinds of shit, calling me a sexist etc. I also want to point out that she was clearly well off. Like, this was not a situation where she deserved anyone's sympathy for any reason.
I can't say the other people in line started clapping but, absolutely no one was against what I did and tips were good that day.
The Okay To Go Off
This guy would come in all the time and complain about his wife, probably 2-3 times a week, grab a soda and say stuff like "This old c*nt, I tell ya what, b*tch this bItch that, I told her I was gonna beat her ass" always loud and annoying. Most times I would ignore him. This time he was in a line with a bunch of ladies with their kids and he was cussing up a storm, every dirty word he could think of came out.
I got the evil eye from one of the ladies like "wtf are you gonna do mister?!" Boom, it was like that lady gave me the okay to go off on this sexist piece of trash. I got right up in his grill, tore into him, told him to watch his mouth, ladies and children were present, he started to mumble some shit and leaned in at me.
I took it as a threat, grabbed him by his sweaty collar and drug him to the door. I told him he was banned and to never come back. I was the assistant manager at that time, just happened to be at the register. Was a good day
I was working at a movie theater and one night we had this group of 20 or 30 junior high kids come in, like they were there with some club.
I was working concessions. A guy and his girlfriend walked up to get something to eat. She asked for a large popcorn. He snapped:
"Nah I'm not paying for a large popcorn, bitch."
She didn't respond, just looked away. I was really shy usually, but it was sad that she put up with that. I told him to stop calling her a bitch, and that I was going to fill a cup of water up to throw on him.
He walked away while I filled the cup up.
"Women Are Useless"
Not a cashier, but I worked inbound customer service for a small appliance company (mainly vacuums, steam mops, and a few kitchen products.) Buddy called in and heart my voice and immediately went
"Ugh. I need to speak to a MAN. Women are useless and my vacuum has no suction."
I offered our usual "oh I'm so sorry you're having that problem I have a few things we can try" he said:
"No I'm not wasting my time with a dumbass woman.. transfer me to a man NOW."
I gritted my teeth and said:
"Ok, well just humor this incompetent lady for one moment. Please remove the handle and hose from the machine completely and drop a coin through. Let me know if it comes out the other end."
It didnt. I saw my moment, so I said:
"So I'M the idiot because I'm a woman, yet you, a MAN didnt know enough to check for clogs when your vacuum stopped sucking..... ok then!"
He apologized and gave me a perfect 10 on my customer service survey.
No Books For You
I was working at the liquidation of a closing bookstore chain. People were waiting over an hour to check out. I had a woman start giving me a hard time because we had to manually change the price of each book. Her attitude increased with each one. I finally snapped, grabbed her whole basket and dumped it behind the counter, voided her sale, pointed at the door, and I said, "Get the f*ck out you're not getting any books today."
She screamed to get a manager who was already stressed standing one register over. My manager told her to leave. What were they expecting the manager to do? Fire me?
I worked at walmart shortly after high school for a few years and I wasn't a cashier but I still worked around cutomers. I had broken my glasses and had to squint for a day till my prescription was ready.
As I was leaving the back room a guy decided I was giving him a dirty look and nothing I said would convince him otherwise. Of course they complained and I explained to the manager what was going on in front of them. They stood smugly watching and the dudes wife or girlfriend called me an assh*le and started going on about how my story was bullshit.
Of course the manager apologized to them because Wal-Mart. I didn't get in trouble but I was still pissed that they left thinking they were in the right.
Well I forgot about it - but a week or so later they were shopping there again and walked passed me and the guy gets all cocky like: "Oh no dirty ass looks today?"
At first I was confused, like what? Is this a joke, then it came back and I pointed at my glasses and said:
"NO, CAUSE I HAVE MY GLASSES BACK STUPID ASS!"
I got in trouble for that but I felt it was worth it.