Calm People Reveal The One Time They Absolutely Lost Their Mind And Popped Off
Sometimes one can only take so much.
We're all merely wandering around as ticking time bombs. We hold in our emotions and revel in repression. We are powder kegs in a flesh bag.
It's only a matter of time before we reach that moment when we can no longer take it and we have to explode.
And baby... y'all better run and hide when you see those signs!
Redditor a-light-at-the-end wondered what were people's last straws by asking:
"Generally calm people of Reddit, what made you lose your absolute sh*t that time?"
Cut out the toxic people...
It's always felt like my parents never wanted me. I was a surprise Honeymoon baby born 9 months and a day after their wedding, I was regularly screamed at for anything I did until I just started hiding, I was called "the practice child" my whole life, my younger siblings got way more love and attention, etc. In my teens they started taking in "strays." If any neighborhood kids didn't want to go home, they could just be at our house all the time. Effectively, my mother would take my friends away from me to be HER friends instead. One of which was a kid who picked on me constantly from the time I was 11. I guess they had that in common.
That guy was kicked out of his Dad's house AND his mom's house when he was 20, so my parents took him in permanently. That killed me. But I always wanted their approval, so I was always calm and agreeable, always desperately trying to figure out how to get them to love me, so I went along with it. Years later, I'm married and have a son. This guy still lives with my parents. They continue to coddle and make excuses for him while criticizing me for whatever they feel like. One day, we're all at my parents house and my son is being a goofy 2-year-old, which annoys the man-child living there. So he gets furious, picks my son up by his ankle and spanks him.
My parents claimed not to have seen it. We went home.
I couldn't sleep that night because I was so upset. The next morning, I made sure the guy and my mom would be at home (and why wouldn't he be there) and I went to confront them with my wife. I dumped everything I had been putting up with on them for about an hour, including asking how my mom could allow this jerk to hit my son. She maintained that it didn't happen, so I went through the roof. I ended up crying because of all the pent-up emotion, so my fantastic wife took over. She said we wouldn't be coming back if the guy still lived there, so he yelled that he would move out and he stormed off after saying he didn't have to listen to this. My parents convinced him not to move out shortly after we left. My mother expressed how disappointed she was that I didn't come "to have a conversation," and only came to "dump" on them. THAT was her big takeaway from everything I said. That I wasn't being "fair" to them.
We went to counseling with them later. For months. It validated everything I had felt, but they never stopped lying and being defensive. One counselor said we should be on Dr. Phil. The other counselor said my mom is "incapable of empathy." Both counselors called my parents delusional. But of course my parents didn't take any of that seriously. At one point my dad asked me "Who does he think he is to judge us like that?" As if he forgot that THAT'S THEIR JOB.
Haven't spoken with them in almost a year, and life is so much better. appleappleappleman
Nobody likes you bro.
My brother and I played travel sports for a few seasons as kids. One trip, I was at the pool with some of his teammates messing around in the water and the coach's kid was being a butt as usual. My brother was one of the smaller kids on his team so the coach's son would mess with him a lot. Most of the kids on my brother's team disliked him but didn't speak up so they wouldn't be next. He thought it would be funny to pick up my brothers drink right in front of him and spit into it.
My dad taught me from a young age not to let anyone mess with my brother or sister, so I got seriously pissed. I took a good running start and shoulder checked him into the pool. Since he had just gotten there, he hadn't taken his clothes off yet and cried because his phone and iPod got ruined. He literally ran out yelling, "I'm telling my dad!"
Well that backfired, because everyone stuck up for my brother and the coach was not happy to find out what a s***bird his son was being so he was the only one to get in any trouble. MikeOxbigg
I'll head to unemployment!
My grandfather passed away so I told my boss that I had to take a couple of days off to be with my family. He had the nerve to tell me work was more important than family and threatened to fire me. I went off on him in the middle of the office for a solid 5 minutes before quitting and rushing home. UnPhayzable
Poor kitty...
This lady came to the shelter to see the cats. She ask if she could give them treats and I said yes. It's a shelter were most of the cats are free. So gets the bag out, the cats are getting wild with anticipation and she just stood there laughing and tempting them without giving them anything. She looked like she enjoyed their anxiety and her laugh sounded like a crazy person.
I lost it, grabbed the bag out of her hands, gave treats to the cats and ask her to leave. Those cats are already stressed out, don't give them more anxiety. sonia72quebec
I'm the Doctor!
I lost my mind when my patient got her pre-authorization for surgery for a large grapefruit sized pelvic mass denied by BCBS and when I did a peer-to-peer, the doctor working for the insurance company said I needed to have a psychiatrist rule out mental causes of her pain first. I had to walk away for 30 minutes before seeing another patient because had anyone given me any more lip I might have gotten violent. wastedkarma
This is a set-up!
I lost my mind when I was late for work because my colleague asked me to cover their shift and gave me the wrong time and it was my fault from the company's perspective. amiathrowawayornot
We got you Jules!
Story about my neighbor (calm to the point where he didn't even flinch when some idiot pulled a knife on him), he was a senpai (assistant sensei/teacher) at a dojang and was in charge of teaching kids aged 8-16. He absolutely loved his role as a big brother to all these kids and taught them about discipline, restraint and how to think before you act. He basically taught the kids how to think and consider before even contemplating action whilst also teaching them how to break someone in half with a kick (the contradiction always made me laugh).
Anyways, one of his talented students was a little 11 year old sweetheart called Jules. He was fantastic and determined, also a bit shy so my neighbor loved bonding with him and getting him to open up. Unfortunately for Jules however, his parents were bullies and bad people who beat him. This wasn't discovered until Jules came into a session with a significant limp, obviously neighbor isn't happy so he confronts the parents at the end of the session.
The parents responded by saying "We're paying all this money so he can fight, so we thought he would test it." (mind you most of these sessions were entirely free and any fees went towards maintenance and provision of equipment/gear for the kids). Neighbor asks the father if he regularly beats his children and if he himself is a good fighter, the father responds with yes whilst the mother is laughing her butt off in the back.
Neighbor then proceeds to shove the father onto his own car bonnet and starts to rain down axe kicks, now the father has the choice of blocking the kicks and probably shattering his arms or let his bonnet get absolutely caved in. After about 8 or 9 of these neighbor says "You said you can fight, so I thought I would test you." Anyways, the idiots end up calling the police who care way more about Jules being abused than the car, parents eventually lost their kids and Jules lives with his uncle/aunt (they're absolute sweethearts).
7 years on, Jules just got his A-Level results and got into his dream university and my neighbor is going to help him move into accommodation, they're honestly like brothers it's so beautiful.
Thanks for reading, let me know if there are questions. Vinaris
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Teachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...Never Forget!
I can remember that day like it was yesterday...
I was home packing my stuff to get ready for when my husband was out of basic training. I NEVER yell or even raise my voice to hardly anyone ever. My dad has always had a wicked temper, and my sister also had a knack for starting yelling matches with him.
One night, she forgot to do something she was supposed to, and the yelling started again. I ignored it up until he called her stupid. It got under my skin so I spoke up a little saying that he shouldn't call her that. He hollered back, "You are MY daughters, I can talk to you however I want!" That's when I snapped.
I saw red for the first time in my life, and I completely lost it. I screamed back at him at how I was tired of him treating us like garbage when he lost his temper, at how we hid in the back room with my mom until he cooled off, and how all I wanted was to visit my family before I had to move over 12 hours away from them. I also threatened that if he EVER wanted to see me again, then he needed to shut up and sit in the corner until he was done throwing a fit.
I yelled at him for the first time in my life for a solid 30 minutes. I didn't stop until everything I had to say built over the years was out, and I saw him go from red-faced angry, to what seemed to be guilt-ridden. When I finally stopped, he was quiet. He didn't say a word and walked away. Shortly after I moved out, he went to a doctor and has been put on some medication to help with his anger issues.
Now he's super friendly, and I haven't heard him throw a tantrum like he used to in over 10 years now. He has never spoken poorly to me or my sister since then either. Srasja
Get out of the club!
This happened in some club ages ago. I was bouncing around on the dance floor with everybody else and apparently stepped on some dudes foot who had been standing there with his posse of 2 or 3 other guys watching people.
I shrugged and apologized, then turned around to leave. Right then "somebody" smacked me in the back of the head. Not hard, but too hard to ignore. I turned around still calm and said something like "Look, I'm gonna walk this way, you guys stay here and nothing more needs to happen."
Turned around again, got smacked in the head again. I was very much pissed off at that point. It didn't help that they looked at me all innocent. I couldn't even tell which one of them did it. So I just stuck my finger in the face of the dude who's foot I allegedly stepped on and recommended he don't do it again. Turned around once more, waiting to get smacked in the head again.
This time they poured a glass of beer in my back. That's when I completely lost my mind. Threw myself around and went straight at the guy. I was in full rage mode, didn't care what happened next as long as that guy suffered. I could tell by the terrified look on his face he realized he had gone too far. His friends never stepped in to help him. After a while people separated us and that was that.
I have no sympathy at all for people who resort to violence for solving their problems but feel no shame for having snapped in that situation. I think I did everything in my power to avoid what eventually happened. McPansen
LISTEN CLOSER!!!
My friend is bad with math, i was explaining a thing once, it took 10 minutes, he tells me he doesn't get it, so i sit there and explain this thing more deeply, took 30 minutes, he's like: takes in-ear headphones out of ear (he was covering it with his hand) Oh sorry i wasn't listening to You, found this amazing radio recently.
I lost my damn mind. 22dunix
Bully down!
This guy broke all of my markers back in middle school, I told the teacher and got him publicly embarrassed, but it wasn't over. I was holding my trumpet and he kept messing with my hair at a concert and just kept touching me. I've always been known as never being angry, but he did it again in a room without the teacher. I grabbed his leg when he kicked me and lifted it up, throwing him down. He never messed with me after that. Poqqers
Oh Hell Na!!!
A guy kicked my dog. I had never hit anyone before that moment. Almost got charged, but I'd do it again. NCFire94
Duck!!
As a surgeon I try to remain calm and steady about most everything. Even all the staff comments about it about how I'm the most calm surgeon they've ever met.
One time taking out someone's gallbladder, the assistant needs to grab it and hold it up so I can free stuff up. Newer person was helping me and moving a little too fast without seeing where their instrument was going before grabbing the gallbladder. When the camera finds their grasper, they ended up poking a small hole in the liver. I let out an audible sigh and small grumble.
Ended up not bleeding all that much and rest of surgery went fine. One of these days I want to throw instruments like some other people I know just to see how people react. Nysoz
Well it's 5 o'clock somewhere...
I'm a soccer referee, and known for being calm no matter how heated a player/coach/fan gets. About 6 months ago I was officiating a girls U16 game and when a player from team A fouled a player from team B, the B players mom jumped up and said "don't touch my daughter, b***h!"
I threw out the parent and stopped the game for 2 minutes to lecture the entire group of spectators, at one point using the phrase "my job is to babysit your daughters, not some out of shape middle aged mom who's drinking wine out of her coffee cup at 9 in the morning."
Not a peep from the sidelines the rest of the game. hexables
God bless the clarinet...
In 7th grade, I was at an honor band. This guy that was 2 years older kept trying to randomly hug me or pull on my hair or pop my bra strap, so I turned around and smacked him in the face with my clarinet case. hunterkat457
Not MY dog!
Just this week when two pitbulls forced their way under my fence and mauled my dog. I always worried that if stuff went down and I had to act in an emergency I would freeze up. Didn't happen. I called 911 screaming at the dispatcher that they were killing my dog, begging the police to get there. I was pounding on the window screaming at the dogs at the same time. Just pure terror and helplessness. I was sure she was going to die, but instead those dogs are dead and my little pitty is going to recover. After I calmed down, I told one of the officers to apologize to the dispatch lady for me. Spattie
Roses are red...
I had things all set up to play piano with a string quartet for a wedding ceremony in church. The grand piano was up front, near the couple, and the organ in the rear to be used later.
When I entered the church, I found that the florist had placed a large vase of roses on the grand piano, using the sheet music for the string quartet underneath the vase to absorb water.
Rarely do I lose my cool, but I did that time. Members of the string quartet told him in no uncertain terms where he could stick those roses as they tried to salvage their soaked music scores. Back2Bach
Kaboom!
It was halloween and I was sitting out front of my house watching my sister take my niece, who was around 4 trick or treating. The people who lived above us (we lived in a maisonette) decided to shoot a firework at them. This is the only time I've lost my mind. Got them inside the house made sure they were alright, sister had only a few non-serious burns on her arm and managed to shield my niece from the explosion. At that point i was just so angry, went up to their door and starting banging on it demanding they come out. They didn't answer so i starting trying to kick the door in. My mum and brother dragged me away and back inside to calm me down. Half an hour later the police arrived because the neighbors had called them about me. Luckily after we explained what had actually happened i didn't get in any trouble. But neither did they. Sorry for it being poorly written I'm not the the best writer. atomicbadgger
Don't be petty!
At the time of this incident, I was a generally quiet, respectful 14-year old girl. My mom had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and she was preparing to embark on a very tough 6 months of treatment. My dad came over for some reason (my parents are divorced) and he lost his temper over something (this was not uncommon). He starts standing over my mom and yelling at her while she is crying on the couch. I'd never gotten involved in this stuff before, but I got right in his face and shouted at him to get out. I escorted him to the door, reminded him that my mom is dealing with way bigger crap than whatever petty thing he's angry about, and slammed the door behind him. Hiciao
Whispous for the win!
In secondary school, a girl sitting next to me kept emptying my pencil case onto the floor and laughing with her friend about it, so I punched her on the top of the head. Sort of like a lever coming down.
She cried and I got detention but that was fine. Looking back, she probably fancied me but you mess with whispous you get the lever-thump.
I'm 30 now but if you empty my pencil case onto the floor I'll still take a detention for a good downward thump.
I'll gobble up pretty much anything.
But I do have my limits.
All people have culinary limitations.
Some menus, as fabulously touted as they are, just don't do it for everybody.
Everything popular is not everybody's cup of tea... or cake, for that matter.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
Chrissy Teigen Cupcake GIF by Billboard Music AwardsGiphy"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
gold GIFGiphy"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
We go to the movies to escape reality.
Nothing is more transportive than watching our favorite Marvel heroes face off with their nemesis in an epic battle or going to Middle Earth and following the journeys of different-sized protagonists.
While we may never truly experience their worlds in reality, there are other films deeply routed in real-life that are still a welcome distraction from the stresses of our daily lives.
But there's one thing that separates truth from fiction, and that is plausibility.
Moviegoers offered examples of the things that don't fly in real life when Redditor qbl256 asked:
"What only works in movies?"
Courtroom antics are better left up on the big screen.
Anything Goes In Court
"Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are 'going somewhere with it.'"
– aperson7780
Ignoring Protocol
"Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence."
– shegedep
Respecting Boundaries
"Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok."
– Slytherian101
Action movies are entertaining because of its heightened sequences that are more convincing on film.
Violent Tactic
"Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for several minutes while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage."
"Actually lampshaded in Archer."
– yParticle
Piercing Glass
"Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over."
– Glock43xyz
It's Lit
"Shooting a gas tank so it explodes."
"Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine."
– midunda
The Perfect Aim
"Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open."
– Studio_Life
It's Such A Blast
"Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety."
– ImInJeopardy
Certain elements are added to elevate a scene–which only proves, "yeah, that's not real-life."
Sonic Aftermath
"A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection."
– KyOatey
Street Vendor At The Wrong Time & Place
"Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually."
– Double-Elevator619
No Time For Recovery
"Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally."
– Ruminations0
What I always get a kick out of is when the distressed character attempts to flee from a knife wielding, masked home intruder by running up the stairs instead of going out the backdoor.
Like, why make the escape route that much more difficult by adding another obstacle like jumping out the window or being trapped in the closet until the inevitable moment of death?
Oh, right, it extends the tense sequence to prolong the final moments of the soon-to-be victim.
Ah, gotta love the movies.
Sometimes we need a night out or to take a break from our cooking, and it's nice to go to a restaurant.
But from bad food to even worse service, there are details about the dining experience that can ruin the whole night out.
Redditor raymorude asked:
"What ruins a restaurant?"
Yelling at Your Date
"When the background music is too loud."
- CrystalQueen3000
"WHAT?!"
- ColoradoScoop
"WHEN THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IS TOO LOUD."
- CrystalQueen3000
Not to Mention Terrible Acoustics
"We went to a small restaurant that had a live band rocking out on a Wednesday night while a bunch of families tried to eat their dinners."
"We couldn't hear one another at our own table, couldn't hear the waitress, etc. Unsurprisingly, they went out of business."
"Live music is great if you're not eating in a shoebox-sized restaurant, and the band isn't trying to void the warranty on their speakers."
- dragon_wryter
Full Disclosure
"When they don’t put a price on the menu. It makes me not want to order anything just in case it comes out to $30 per dish, but I also feel embarrassed to ask for the price of each item."
- Theoldage2147
Over-Stimulating
"I personally like a dark and quiet atmosphere where I can sit in a high-backed booth and enjoy my meal with my family. Restaurants that are too open, too bright, and have loud music playing in the background ruin it for me personally."
- X_brokeham_X
"People underestimate how much atmosphere can make somewhere a lot less appealing."
"Once I found a chill, quiet, British-style pub with nice wooden booths and furniture where you could relax with a beer and actually talk to people, I realized why I hated going out before. I just needed a better atmosphere."
- PolkaWillNeverDie00
That Luke-Warm Feeling
"Slow service coupled to food not served hot enough because it's been sitting in the kitchen too long waiting to be delivered."
- Back2Bach
Hilariously Bad Food
"There's a famous restaurant in Denver called Casa Bonita that had legendarily bad food. I went there once as a kid, hated it, and never went back."
"But people love it and will try to convince you to go. If you point out that the food is terrible, they will even agree with you but say that it's worth it for the atmosphere. And I'm always like, it's a RESTAURANT! Who cares about the atmosphere if the food is terrible?!"
"I heard a few years ago that it's under new ownership. No idea if the food got any better."
- KatieCashew
Just... Bugs.
"A lot of good answers here but bugs top them all for me. The restaurant could have a 10/10 atmosphere, food, drinks, waitstaff, etc… but if I’m trying to swat flies away from my face and food every 10 seconds, my experience is ruined."
"I’ve left places due to this. One of my favorite places in a downtown area has an amazing outdoor patio, but there’s a bee problem there they refuse to deal with. It’s a deal breaker!"
- Strongbad23
Declining Food Quality
"Cutting quality to save money. Sometimes prices need to change, I get that as frustrating as it can be (and in all fairness that can ruin a restaurant for me just because of my budget, but I think that's an exception), but cutting quality to save money doesn't just make your food worse, it makes your image worse to your regulars."
- ParkityParkPark
Young Diners
"Children on loud devices, so d**n annoying."
- Salt_Section_651
Too Many Options
"A menu that's way too freaking big, saying this as a food service worker."
- N1hili
Not Enough Choices
"When you see a menu with like four items to choose from, you better believe all four options better be perfectly delicious."
- zuck_my_butt
So Fast-Paced
"I personally can’t stand when the bussers or servers are going at 100% speed. Makes me feel anxious and like I need to be eating quicker."
"I worked at a restaurant like this and they were borderline abusive and my coworkers would literally be sprinting around trying to get 10 things done at once. I prefer a relaxing environment and I’ll wait a bit longer to get my food."
- reignthepain
Not All Karaoke is Good Karaoke
"I went to a small restaurant that I've liked before. For some reason, the owners decided to put up a karaoke machine in the middle of the place. With the size of the place and how loud the machine was, you could hear everything at any table."
"We sat down, heard a kid trying to sing 'Let It Go' full-blast and all decided to leave."
- KingOfSheepX
Unhappy Staff
"When they don't treat/pay their staff well. You can tell, especially if you've worked in the industry, and it seeps into every aspect of the place. You can practically feel it oozing out of the walls."
- Hey_Its_Crosby
Nightmare Fuel
"Waitstaff walking towards me carrying a cake and singing Happy Birthday..."
- ccl_now
While dining out can be an awesome experience, there are obviously things that can ruin the whole vibe. But it's clear from these diners that there are certain details that will be a deal breaker, no matter what.
People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them
Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.