There are unspoken boundaries you just don't cross as a bridesmaid—like stealing the bride's spotlight to make an announcement about yourself.
But one bridesmaid went there.
Redditor "hipposarelife" became resentful after one of her best friends upstaged her wedding—that was two years in the making—with news of her pregnancy.
The original poster then asked users if she was the "a$$hole" for being upset.
"I got married two weekends ago. I asked my three best friends Anna, Kelly and Laura to be my bridesmaids 2 years before the wedding and found them very helpful when planning."
What is it about Laura?
"For the morning of my wedding I hired a fancy penthouse apartment for myself and the bridesmaids to get ready. We had champagne and as we were pouring it out, Laura said none for her."
"Now Laura is the biggest party animal of us all so naturally we questioned why she wasn't drinking. Laura then told us she was pregnant."
The OP felt threatened by Laura's good news encroaching on the main event.
"Of course I was happy for her but obviously the focus was then on Laura and her pregnancy and not us getting ready for my wedding, something I had been planning for 2 years."
"Anyway. We all got ready and headed to the venue. The photographer kept us outside the venue for a short while so he could do posed photos with myself and the bridesmaids."
As the photographer arranged for the obligatory group shot, Laura decided to break convention with a personal pose.
"I was holding my bouquet, Anna and Kelly were holding theirs but Laura placed hers on the floor and was standing with her hands cradling her stomach as if to emphasize her bump (which wasn't noticeable as she's barely 12 weeks)."
"The photographer asked her to pick her flowers up so all of us were holding our bouquets and Laura refused and said 'oh it's ok I'd prefer to stand like this' and carried on cradling her stomach."
"So now those photos just look weird."
"The rest of the day went smoothly until it came to the speeches. As Laura was my oldest friend naturally I asked her to say a few words."
The speech was promising, until it wasn't.
"She stood up and said some nice words, then ended her speech with 'and I'm so excited to announce that as Bride's best friend, I'd like her to be an honorary aunt to my baby who is due summer 2020!.'"
"With her being an old family friend of course my family were over the moon and again the attention was on her and her pregnancy and not me and my husband."
These are the things that ruin friendships.
"I felt so upset on my wedding day and haven't really spoke to Laura much since."
"She has since sent me a text saying I'm acting like a spoiled brat and the world doesn't revolve around me."
The OP asked if she was "not the a$$hole" (NTA) for being upset and distancing herself from Laura.
Redditors were happy to respond.
"At first it seemed innocuous enough because you asked about her not drinking, but she spent the rest of the day deliberately drawing attention to her pregnancy and that's rude af."
"You have every right to be upset and she owes you an apology, most specifically for using her toast to make an announcement to your entire wedding reception." – knifewrenchhh
"Yeah, she essentially used your wedding photos as her pregnancy photoshoot... NTA for sure." – snoozin_sarandon
"I would have had the other bridesmaids change their pose so they're all doing the same thing. F**k that attention seeking brat, I don't care if you're excited the condom broke, let your friend have her day, ffs." – booksblanketsandtea
"OP's situation is as bad as someone proposing to their significant other at a wedding, or the bride's mother wearing a wedding dress."
"Any one of these is an outrageous and insanely rude usurpation of someone else's wedding that they paid for, not you. Your wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom, or brides, or grooms. If someone else wants the spotlight to be on them, they can pay for it. Holy crap."
"I'm especially shocked that Laura refused to stand the way OP asked for when she wasn't paying for the photos. Now she's stuck with photos that look weird - which she paid hundreds or even thousands of dollars for - because someone else was conceited." – HellKat1988
"Talk about stealing the spotlight. It seems to me that she had ample time to say something prior to YOUR wedding day."
"Then once she has hijacked the mood she doubles and triples down on it. Extremely rude." – toddfredd
Photoshop can work wonders.
"Shop it so she's cradling a large vase of flowers!" – buickgnx88
"Oh my god, you could make a whole photoshop series with her cradling ridiculous things. PLEASE do this." – jokeyhaha
"Please put in a bouquet, but instead of a flower make it a tiny 12 week old fetus on each stem." – saltysanford
But the photographer could have intervened.
"I think either that the photographer or the OP should have said something."
"Like it sucks that it progressed the way it did, but if I were in OP's shoes, I'd shut that s**t down."
"'That's nice that you prefer standing that way, but we're doing my wedding pictures right now and I don't need you baby bumping without a baby bump. How about we do a couple shots at the end for you, and you can use those if you want to announce it after my wedding is over.'"
"You teach people how to treat you. And yes, the photographer should have also pushed back. Laura didn't pay for those pictures, OP did." – StrangerOnTheReddit
"Am I off base to think that the photographer should've made more of an effort to intervene?"
"I mean, I know conflict resolution isn't in the official job description, but I feel like wrangling the wedding party and setting up a good shot is, and someone really skilled & experienced at the job might have been able to speak up in the client's best interest without making a scene." – LittleDogTurpie
This is something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, but worth considering before creating a lasting memory for someone else's wedding photo.
"As someone who has had several miscarriages, to document the pregnancy in such a permanent way could be painful for the friend and others in the long run."
"During my first pregnancy I wouldn't have thought it would end in miscarriage, but I wouldn't have used my friend's wedding day for my glory either." – elainemarieseinfeld
"That's what I was thinking! 12 weeks is still early. I miscarried at 12 weeks."
"Luckily our family/best friends were the only ones who knew so we didn't have to tell a bunch of people. I cant imagine having those pictures to remind me of it, plus having to tell all those people!"
"You KNOW somebody who didn't hear about the miscarriage would ask her about the baby in a few months and that would be awful to have to explain." – JustLetMeGetAName
"I could not agree more! I've lost four all within the first 10 weeks. I could not imagine taking pictures cradling my stomach that early, or at someone else's wedding."
"Now I was nine months pregnant as a bridesmaid in my brother in law's wedding. The photographer took several shots centered on my big stomach which made me very uncomfortable."
"Thankfully the bride thought it was funny, but the one picture with my brother in law holding a cup to my stomach trying to listen to the baby was just too weird." – Stevi100183
This family understood the proper way of making sure both occasions were equally celebrated.
"So going to second the NTA. We found out we were expecting our first (and my family's first) child a few days before my brother's wedding."
"The only way he and his bride figured this out was because my wife wasn't drinking (something she is very skilled at). It was during the reception that they asked and we quietly confirmed. A quick private congratulations from them and then all the attention was back on them."
"We didn't say a word to anyone, particularly my family, that day. Of course, the next day, once the newlyweds had left for their honeymoon, we shared with my family. And everyone was over the moon. And easy to feel this way about both the new marriage and the child to come."
"And my wife and I were seen as respectful for waiting to share the news. And my brother and wife were more than happy for us as the pregnancy progressed." – tpodr
Can the ladies come back from this and one day look back and laugh?
"Hey, but those photos of her cradling what are essentially trapped farts in her abdomen will be hilarious once things have cooled off a bit." – avocado_toast
There are times and places for things, and we could all do better by staying in our respective lanes.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
