Top Stories

People Share Went Down At The Trashiest Wedding They Attended

There's a bride in this article who dips her breasts into her wedding cake. Yeah, it's that trashy.


I would normally have a whole sort of relevant (and totally rambling) story to tell you before we got to the meat of the article but ... you guys... the things I have just read. I just... Guys... I am not okay.

One reddit user asked:

What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?

I thought I was ready. I really did. I was not. I seriously underestimated what people are capable of - especially when alcohol is involved. Here are some of the stories that had people cringing the hardest. What you're about to get yourself into is ... um ... educational and intense. Brace yourself, folks. It's about to go down...

Honesty Is The Best Policy

There was no alcohol being served as the reception hall in the church basement had super strict rules about alcohol. So all the guests snuck in alcohol. The mother of the groom had a 24 case of coors under her table. People had full sized bottles of vodka hidden in their jackets it was messy. Then after the wedding the after party was at this super divey college bar where the bride got so drunk the groom had to carry her back to their hotel where she finished the night drunkenly eating chicken nuggets in the giant penthouse suite bathtub.

In the interest of honesty...this was my wedding and I was the chicken nugget eating bride.

- shazaamjess

Who? 

Giphy

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom's first dance was to Who Let The Dogs Out... everyone just looked on speechless as they slow danced to it. Then half way through it turned into a slutty grind session. Nobody thought it would last but they're still together.

- Koudelika

Low Class

Did a wedding where the grooms mom was so against the marriage, she thought the bride was too "low class" for her precious boy. Of course, the correct way to deal with the wedding was to drink as much as possible. As I was leaving the reception, the groom was standing over some bushes, and his mom was lying in them, legs in the air, dress around her head, flailing about like a tortoise on its back and the groom saying "Mom! Get up please! This is embarrassing!"

I later found out that the grooms mom sat at her chair in the reception later that evening, leaned over to the side and just puked on the floor. And a few minutes later sh!t herself while sitting at dinner. For somebody so concerned about how "low class" the bride was, she sure showed her!

- floobenstoobs

No Reservations

My brother-in-law's wedding was a trashfest. And they had known each other about 3 months and she had already been divorced 2 times. They had the wedding party take pictures in a random graveyard. Then they left trash all over the headstones(which my husband and I picked up because who does that). They then got married at a park pavilion that they didn't rent out so we got kicked out halfway through since it was reserved to someone. She threw a fit and tried to punch the police but somehow didn't get arrested. Then their reception was at this nicer steak place ($50+ meals) but they didn't pay for any of the food or drinks! Plus they didn't reserve anything so we had to wait 2 hours for a room that fit 80 people. So we had to wait in the lobby until 7pm. Which would be fine but they didn't tell anyone that they weren't paying so everyone was mad because some people didn't bring enough money so at the end of the meal some people left without paying their bill and my mother in law got stuck paying around $800 to cover those peoples bills because my bil wasn't gonna pay. She also had to pay the bride and husbands bill too because they wanted to get drunk(which was about $200!)

Also the marriage only lasted about 2 years so there's that. Of course they had a kid right away so that been a mess. She took off and bil is now a single dad who makes $10 a hour and is mooching off my mil.

Florida

I went to a wedding in Florida where the bride wore a mini skirt and was given away by her ex husband, with whom she and her new husband still lived.

The Plastic Headache

So the first thing we see when we walk in is the groom's teenage brother making out with his girlfriend with wild abandon - right next to the gift table. The bride had dyed the grooms hair the night before. She did it badly so he had splotches of black hair dye all over his ears and hairline.

The bride herself was falling out of her strapless dress that was at least two cup sizes too small and she had a stains ( I think of food?) all down the front. She was very drunk and was not seen without her special bottles of Smirnov Ice. The "open bar" served only cheap white wine in Dixie cups ( described as " a plastic headache" by those that drank it) and a cooler of Bud Light for the bride and groom only. I do not remember there being food. The venue looked like a Las Vegas 90's funeral parlor- forest green carpet with mirrors, fake ivy and brass everywhere. We didn't stay long but the plastic headache lingered well into the next day.

- CleaKen2010

Bridal Boobs

Giphy

It was a coworker of my then husband. She was a really pretty girl, marrying her hard partying boyfriend. They were both hard partying, to be fair. It was a MESS.

A few days before the wedding she mentioned that they had forgotten to hire a musician. I happened to have a good friend with a pretty great band, and I got them hooked up. The bride was super appreciative and decided I was her best friend. She invites me out for a celebratory drink, and then tries to make out with me in the parking lot. She's hot, and I'm bi - but I'm also married and she's my husband's co-worker. I exit gracefully, and decide it was just because she was drunk / has wedding nerves.

Fast forward to the wedding.

The guests all arrive in a public town square gazebo where the ceremony is to take place. We all wait, and wait, and wait. The musician, the minister, and about 60 guests just standing around hoping they show. The finally arrive and both bride and groom are sh*t faced. They are accompanied by the office manager, who has stepped into a mother role for the bride (though the bride's parents are alive and present), and is paying for the entire ordeal. The office manager is sobbing. We find out later they were late because the bride could not find her passport and in a drunken rage started berating the office manager for being worthless in her efforts to help her pack for her honeymoon.

The ceremony is rather uneventful and everyone walks to a local restaurant on the town square where we will have a sit down dinner and reception. Full open bar, of course. Everyone just mills around and chats while we are waiting on dinner... except for the bride who is taking shots with the bar staff.

Dinner is served and we all take our assigned seats. As they are bringing salads, the bride plops down between my husband and I. She asks if we're swingers. I inform her that we are not, and she starts LOUDLY telling us that it's a good thing because she and her new husband had a threesome just recently and now she can't get the image of him f*cking this other girl out of her brain. She is getting really worked up and giving us graphic details of the encounter. The office manager whisks her away and we don't see her again for the rest of the meal.

After dinner people started dancing. I was out on the dance floor with a few friends and here comes the bride. She drags me away and starts rubbing and grinding on me. Every time I try to gracefully maneuver elsewhere, she finds me and starts rubbing on me again. The pinnacle of the dancing was when she walked over to her own wedding cake, removed her breast from her dress, dipped it in the frosting, and came over and asked me to lick it off. I declined, and her new husband swooped in for the honors.

At that point both her parents and the office manager left in disgust.

My husband and I, along with some friends, headed on out at that point. We went a few doors down to a bar to play a few rounds of pool and get some space from the craziness. But our plan was foiled when crazy followed us. I was leaning forward, about to take a shot, when the bride literally grabbed my crotch from behind.

She was swaying at this point and barely coherent. She had a change of clothes with her and asked me to help her get changed. I was honestly afraid to leave her in the bathroom alone, so I agreed to help. She then walked into the men's room, and found her new husband. This led to her screaming wildly, throwing anything not nailed down, and accusing her husband of cheating on her with the chick from the threesome.

I had enough and left at this point. We asked the bar to please call them a cab, and went on home. The whole night was completely surreal.

A few days later, I was hanging out with my musician friend who played at the wedding. He was looking really uncomfortable and finally came clean about the rest of the night. Apparently the bride kept requesting songs by taking her flashing him and saying please - and she slipped him her number as a "thank you".

Just all around classy.

- IdFuckBettyWhite

Orange Faygo

Husband's child hood friend had their wedding at his mother's trailer park playground. The men in the wedding party wore t-shirts with tuxedo print, the women wore hot pink shorts with black spaghetti strap tank-tops and flip flops.

They were both ICP fans and the wedding party sprayed them with Orange Faygo when leaving.

- Spliteer

The Soundtrack

Went to a couple's wedding and the couple was a little older (probably in their 50s). I'm just going to start with the bridesmaid dresses. The bridesmaids were all in their 50-60s and were in the most unflattering best-of-the-80s style dresses, I swear they found some deal at a thrift store, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the soundtrack.

The bride walked down the aisle to organ music (which is altogether not a beautiful instrument, IMO) anyway, before the organ music stops, a country song starts playing. My mom and I looked at each other somewhat horrified with a look of "I feel so bad for the couple that this is happening" because we thought it was clearly a mistake.

It wasn't.

I'm not a country fan so I can't tell you songs or artists, but I'll do my best to explain. The song was about a bride walking down the aisle. While the entire song played, we all just sat and watched the bride and groom standing at the altar holding hands and awkwardly mouthing the words to each other.

Then the couple exchanged vows, another entire country song came on about exchanging vows, and we all watched as they stood there mouthing the words to each other at the altar.

Then they exchanged rings and, you guessed, it another song about rings came on. You would think and hope that would be it, but you would be wrong, because we also looked on as two more country songs came on after they kissed - one about the kiss and another one about how they were finally married.

I'm not even done yet.

The couple had not one but three preachers and two of them were married. The male pastors sermon before the wedding was all irrelevant stories about his wedding day and how being married was so hard which included some victimy tirade about how men give up their right to win an argument when they get married. His wife looked so pissed the whole time.

The reception was terrible too, but they had food, so I can put up with more when I have food. Also their big wedding favor was hand sanitizer that said "keep calm and carry on" and it also had their names and wedding date on it. All around it was a cringe-fest, but at least I get to share it with you all!

- Alittlestitious1

Everyone Saw

The biker one, where the bride wore a red leather mini skirt wedding dress. Everyone, and I mean everyone saw her vagina when she got on the bike to ride to the reception.

- Tangboy50000

No Shirts, Yes Ties

Oh BOY, have I got a story for you. When I was younger, I went to the wedding of my close friend's older brother. Now, this was in like 2006 or something, so definitely pre-Pinterest, but I still can't believe some of the stuff they did.

First of all, they did their wedding photos on a tractor in the mud. On like a cheap digital camera that the bride's mom had. The groomsmen did not have on shirts, but they did have on ties. The wedding colors were camouflage and traffic cone orange. At the reception, instead of a wedding cake they had sliced up Swiss Rolls and other Little Debbie snack cakes on some plastic trays. They also had "hours d'oeuvres" that consisted of little cut up pieces of cold cut lunch meats and cheese with a toothpick through them.

- not_eneelis

Off To See The Wizard

Giphy

I went to a wizard of Oz themed wedding. Bridesmaids walked in to "If I Only Had a Brain."

- labelle15

Mom's Reception

I immediately thought of my mom's second wedding. The ceremony itself was fine. My mom wore a purple dress because it was her favorite color and she looked beautiful. My step dad and the groomsmen wore slacks with white button ups and cowboy hats. It was on a gazebo on a small lake. Overall, simple and nice. The reception, though, was at the best mans house which was a dump and there was a kiddy pool full of jungle juice. One of the guests had a staph infection on his hand, which he dunked into the pool when he got a drink.

- MotherofDingDongs

The Wedding That Ruined A Funeral

My cousins's wedding.

The ceremony itself was at a public beach, which they did not reserve in any way. They set up right at the entrance rather than moving further along. They had some redneck friends act as "bouncers" and they ended up threatening random people trying to scare them away from the area.

There were no speeches or thank you's or anything during the reception, which is probably for the best. At one point the bride stuck her head in to the hall and shouted that she needed 15 minutes to go smoke some weed. They had people's dogs and naked babies running all over the place.

The groom spent the entire time crying and they broke up the next day.

Later we found out that when they first started sleeping together the groom was 14 and my cousin, the bride, was 17. He's of legal age now, but I don't blame him. Run away kid.

Here's the cherry on top.

My grandfather passed away recently and the family wanted to use that same reception hall to host his "celebration of life" ceremony - only to find out we are not welcome there anymore thanks to whatever my cousin did.

- Korrin

Super Awkward And Raunchy

The DJ was the groom's friend and also worked at the local strip club. He was decent at first but things got super awkward and raunchy during the toasts. Many uncomfortable glances were shared.

- AStoutBreakfast

Blockbuster Boss

My boss from Blockbuster Video asked me to stand in his wedding randomly. They got married next to a gazebo in this random patch of dirt/grass. I had to run the music off this tiny boombox for the bridal procession. One guy wore a nascar tshirt and matching hat for the ceremony and reception. It was an interesting crowd for sure but still ended up being fun because it wasn't serious at all. They are still together.

- CreedThoughts

For The Bride

One time i went to a wedding where the groom ordered a stripper for the bride

- Djdanny90999

"I Found Her Uterus!"

Giphy

My aunt and uncle when they got married. She tied a chicken leg to her thigh and wore it there for the entire wedding so than they could play a trashy prank. The groom went under her dress for the garter and came out with (and tossed) the chicken leg instead. To make it better he screamed "I found her uterus!"

My grandparents were so taken aback. Needless to say we all left pretty early.

- lillybug377

"How Many People Here Are Packing?"

My wife's niece (18) was married at the "Little White Wedding Chapel" in Las Vegas. When the minister pronounced them man and wife a series of clicks when through the audience. Maybe a dozen or so. I thought people were taking pictures but there were no flashes. I was confused.

Afterwards we were all milling around waiting to go to the reception. I was talking to my wife and her two sisters and asked them about the clicks. The conversation was baffling:
Wife -"Those were the hammers all being put down after the SOB married her."

Me -"Hammers? Like on guns?"

Wife's oldest sister -"Yeah."

Me -"How many people here are packing?"

Wife's middle sister, nonchalantly -"All of us."

I called bullsh*t on that at which time they all opened their purses. 3 women, 3 purses, 3 guns; two 9mm semi's and a revolver. My wife had a revolver on her and I literally had no idea. She said it was a loaner. I guess this is just a thing they do? I think I'm married to the mob.

- luckywalt313

The Gun Range Wedding

I went to a wedding in Iowa that was at a gun shooting range. It was a pot luck and they served keg beer. At the reception (which was a bonfire at the bride's house) the groom and his brother got into a fist fight. The brother hopped in a minivan trying to drive away, but the van got stuck in the mud - so the groom just choked him out.

- Robin2474

Tell us all about the trashiest wedding you've ever witnessed.

Til Disaster Do Us Part: Weddings Gone Wild

Weddings are supposed to be blissful experiences, but let’s be honest: It doesn’t always happen that way. Disaster can strike at any moment in the form of bridezillas, monster-in-laws, or undeserving grooms. These weddings, in particular, got ruined in an instant, and their eyewitnesses lived to tell the tale.


What A Way To Go

a woman in a wedding dress sitting in a carPhoto by lhon karwan on Unsplash

I've been to a few awful weddings, but this one was the worst. I did a dessert table for a wedding at my old country club job once. As I was setting up, people started shuffling in...keep in mind, the actual marriage ceremony was supposed to be going on at that moment, so nothing was fully set up. The couple was nowhere to be found.

It felt more like a funeral than anything else; just people talking quietly amongst themselves. I tracked down the club's wedding photographer since I knew he'd probably have details and I found him chatting with a bridesmaid. Apparently, the couple was super Christian, conservative, and young—like, in their 20s. The groom got sent to a “pray away the gay” place as a high schooler after getting caught with his best friend.

He was there for a year. When he came back, he met this girl and they decided to get married. Well, he ran into the guy he got caught with like two months before the wedding, decided he missed their friendship, and they started hanging out again. As the wedding got closer, he realizes: “What the heck am I doing?” He started freaking out, and the night before the wedding, he went to the guy's house. That's when it got WEIRD.

He called the bride and she refused to accept that he was not showing. So she went through the whole mess of getting ready and he didn't show up. She lost her darn mind on the speakerphone with him at the church where everyone could hear, all while he was yelling, “I'm gay! I like men! I love him, and my parents can't force me anymore! This isn't about you and you'll thank me in the long run!”

That’s Nuts

A co-worker of mine was at his best friend’s wedding. At the reception, there were very specific rules about the food—no nuts was the big one. There were a couple of people there, including the maid of honor, who was severely allergic to them. Well, the venue served something that had nuts, and the maid of honor went anaphylactic. Her Epi-pen wasn’t effective, and she passed on the way to the hospital. Obviously, lawsuits were expected.

No Show Nuptials

I've catered many weddings and there have been some memorable ones. Fights between guests, wedding cakes falling over, things spilled on wedding dresses, the lot. But there was one I’ll never forget. It was an all-day do with a small ceremony of a few close friends and family. There was then a big reception filled with a huge buffet and a free bar.

It was all in the same venue and they had paid for 250 evening guests. But here's the thing—only 30 guests turned up, at most. My heart broke for this couple. A beautifully converted barn, loads of food and drinks, great music—but no guests. At about 10 pm (the venue was licensed until 11 pm), the buffet food had barely been touched.

The few people who were there ate, but it hardly made a dent as it was planned for so many more people. I asked the mother of the bride if she wanted me to cover and refrigerate the untouched food so the new couple could take it home. Her reply made me cringe. She said, "Oh no, there are still a lot of people coming". It was the most awkward I've ever felt in my life.

No more guests showed. There was a flash of car headlights in the distance at about 10:30 pm and the bride BEAMED when she thought it was latecomers arriving. But no, it was just taxis arriving to pick up the few who were there. It's the only event I have ever done where we didn't have to ask people to leave the venue. At 11 pm, the place was empty. Then we found out the whole story.

In a nutshell, the bride’s parents paid for the day, and the happy couple had zero control over their guest list. Her parents invited all their “friends” to the evening function, but in reality, it was just associates they wanted to flex on—resulting in no one caring at all about an invite to a wedding where they didn't know the bride or groom. It was basically just a networking event for the bride’s parents.

A Real Showstopper

men's gray suit jacketPhoto by Scott Webb on Unsplash

This didn't happen at a wedding but at a 30-year wedding anniversary. I was working as a waiter at a hotel and we had ballrooms for private parties and other bigger events. The bride and groom had spared no expense. There were about 100 guests, a five-course meal, an open bar, and a whole day party. We were supposed to close it at 4 in the morning.

It was grand—one of the biggest parties I had waited on so far. After the main course, the husband stood up and gave a speech. A long one. He started out reminiscing about when they had met: their early life together, the hard times they had endured, etc. He then talked at length about how he loved their children and told each of them how proud he was of their accomplishments.

So far, it was one of the better speeches I had ever heard. It was heartfelt, and he had a lot of charisma. He was well-spoken and funny, too. But then it took a dark turn. He looked at his wife again. He told her that he had hated her for the last four years of their life together. He called her a toxic narcissist and said she had made him feel miserable to the point where he contemplated ending it all.

He also her that he knew she had a lover. He pointed him out in the crowd, next to his wife and children. He had evidence and was suing for divorce, intending to take everything. He gave her the divorce papers right then and there. Oh, but it got even better. He then announced to everyone that he had gotten his own apartment. He had hired movers to move all his stuff while they were at the party, and he said he would be leaving shortly.

In the stunned silence that ensued, he tipped all staff, dishwashers, bosses, waiters, and busboys $200 each and left. Needless to say, everyone left within the hour.

In The Dark

I used to do catering work, and this one time, my boss sent me to a remote location in the woods on a beautiful river. I found out while we were loading the truck that the boss wouldn't be going and that I was essentially in charge. My boss promised me that everything was taken care of...Little did I know it would be a complete nightmare.

You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at this remote location and literally nothing was set up. We were only about an hour early, so I frantically started trying to get the tent in order. We needed extension cords to run the coffee and tea, but there were none there. We needed tables to set up the food, but there were none. I somehow whipped up some last-minute fixes for the missing things.

Then, just as the bride and groom are arriving, it got so much worse. We blew the fuse for our only power source and the place was plunged into darkness. We reset the breaker and I moved some stuff around, but the fuse blew again. This delicate dance went on for the entire evening—through speeches, the first dance, everything. I think the worst part of the entire experience was when we went to rinse our dishes before boxing them up and found out that the water pump for the place stopped working and needed to be primed again.

At that point, I said forget about it, we'll take them back dirty, and the crew and I spent several more hours after the long ride home doing them. That was the day I worked a 15-hour shift without a break—and still ruined the wedding. Needless to say, I quit that job.

I’m Like A Bird

I was the best man at my sister-in-law’s wedding. After a whole year of planning, all the bride wanted was a ex release while they said handwritten vows to each other. It was a very small, non-denominational wedding. The day arrived in early summer and all seemed to be going well...except something was off with the bird handlers.

They showed up a bit late and were sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time came to say their vows, I helped the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to the altar where the bride and groom were standing. Vows were just about wrapping up and the handler gave ME the signal to open the chest. I opened it and witnessed a horrific sight.

I saw 20 to 30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE! I immediately closed it and tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Too late. The look of horror on the bride’s face was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up, but by the end of the reception, the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on.

Surprise, Surprise

man wearing black suit jacketPhoto by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

I used to work at a pretty upscale catering hall in New Jersey back when I was in college, and we had one instance where I witnessed a ruined wedding. We all thought it was weird when a couple of the groomsmen got access to the reception room during cocktail hour. It was for “decorating,” they said. Not something we normally saw the men do.

In any case, we got through the main courses just fine, and then one thing became VERY clear to us staff. The bride’s side of the family was VERY conservative. They didn’t drink, they barely danced, and they watched wide-eyed as the groom’s side of the party went wild. Anyway, it came time for the speeches, and about halfway through his speech, the best man stood up.

He said something like, “Hey, bride’s family—I know you think your girl is so sweet and innocent, but if you want to see what they’re REALLY like, look under your seat! That's when things got insane. Well, taped under EVERY chair was a picture of the bride and groom caught in the act. The groom’s family and friends roared with laughter, but the bride’s side was MORTIFIED.

There were so many fights that broke out that night. Did I mention this was in New Jersey? The wedding was pretty much over at that point.

Too Much Fun

I worked on a tropical island off the coast of Queensland, Australia, and loads of weddings happened there. Most days, there’d be one or two. One time, this groom’s party came through my bar. They were on the bucks party thing before the wedding the next day, and they were pretty in their cups by 4 pm. I figured they started early and would finish early, given they had a sunrise ceremony.

About an hour later, they left for another bar on the island. Then, the bride’s party came through, equally sloshed. I finished work at 9 pm, then came back three hours later to work in the nightclub. I got in at midnight and started pouring drinks. It was busy as heck with like 250 people in the club. Around 1 am, the bride, groom, and their wedding parties rolled in absolutely destroyed.

They looked disgusting. I had no idea why security let them in because I wasn’t going to be serving them. They left about 45 minutes later, which means they would roughly arrive back at their hotel rooms around 2 am with the expectation that the bride and her party needed to be up at 4 am for hair and makeup. But they all decided to keep partying. “We’ll just stay up all night and keep drinking until the wedding!”

At that point, they had to have been drinking for 15 to 18 hours. It backfired so badly. Ceremony time rolled around and she couldn’t walk down the aisle in her heels, so she tossed them off. The groom and all his friends were tipsy as heck and could barely stand. They tried to say their vows, but the celebrant couldn’t understand them. This was a huge problem.

She wasn’t allowed to marry them because they were too far gone to consent to marriage. The whole wedding was canned. A simple wedding like the one they had cost $35,000, so they wasted all that money. They did have the reception, though. From what I was told, the bride passed out about an hour in. The groom threw up everywhere.

The mothers of the bride and groom were both crying.

Please RSVP

We attended a wedding for a family member who didn't have a lot of money. It was hosted at an inexpensive venue, but it was still nice. My heart broke when only a third of the people invited showed up. You could see the hurt in the couple’s face. They came up to our table and said, “Do you have any friends in the city?” They had all this food for 100 people but only 30 guests.

They were willing to have complete strangers come down just so their money and food wouldn’t go to waste. We hadn’t handed over our card with cash inside yet, so my husband hit the ATM and added another $100.

I’m Gonna Getcha

man in gray button up shirtPhoto by Ludovic Migneault on Unsplash

I was dating this girl who asked me to go to her ex’s wedding. We dated for a few months prior, but asking me to go to a wedding together felt like a serious commitment...I still accepted. I planned for the week off work and we went all out for this wedding. Half the time, I was trying to make the most of our time together, but she always went missing.

Fast forward to the reception. She made a scene in the most unstable and mentally sick way. In front of the groom, the bride, and everyone else, she said out loud: “I’m still in love with you. We literally have been sleeping together all week and I can't stop thinking about you". She quickly got escorted out after that.

The bride was clearly upset, but everyone tried to go about their business. As soon as I left, my “girlfriend” started completely ruining the hall and all the decorations, just throwing a fit on her way out. It was so embarrassing. I figured she was telling the truth since she was missing the whole time, but I’m pretty sure that everyone during the whole thing assumed this was too crazy to be real.

I definitely regret not seeing her true colors before, but when you work so much and try to date at the same time, you have very little time to get to really know some people. Time sort of flies by and you end up dating for a few months. Fast forward a month or two later...she got together with the groom and I’m pretty sure she has no regrets about wasting my time.

She probably doesn’t even feel bad about using me or even ruining that man’s marriage. This woman is seriously twisted.

The Best Laid Plans

The bride’s father was 45 minutes late to walk his daughter down the aisle. While we were waiting, the air conditioning broke down in the venue. It was over 100 degrees outside and humid like I’d never felt before. Plus, the place was overcrowded. You could barely move without bumping into someone else and in the heat, that was extra miserable.

I guess the air conditioning problem had also affected the refrigeration or something because most of the food was spoiled. The only food on the buffet was salad, spaghetti, and rolls. Not enough to feed even half the guests. Most people left after the first dance, and two of the bride’s aunts fainted. The bride and the wedding planner were crying.

A Dark Turn

I was studying photography and used to act as an assistant to a well-known wedding photographer. One day, we went to a couple's wedding. He shot digital and I shot black and white film. We spent all day with the couple from 9 am through until 2 am the next morning when we left. I could see how genuinely in love they were.

It was only a day, but I got to know them quite well and I really liked them both. The next morning, I got a call from the photographer and his voice was shaky. He hit me with the most gut-wrenching news—he explained that the groom had been killed that night after the reception party. Three guys had broken into their bungalow to steal their wedding gifts. The groom got out of bed to stop them and they executed him in front of the bride. I was in shock for about two weeks.

The next weekend, the photographer and I went to the bride's house to present her with the photos. We'd worked together to get the job massively accelerated so she had the photos of her husband. We did it at our own expense and didn't charge her a penny for the day or all the prints and album. It was sort of the least we could do.

Because my photos didn't matter as much, I'd been able to simply capture those natural moments between them, rather than the staged wedding photos. So they had the normal album pictures but also about 150 snaps of just them being a couple. She was in tears from the moment we arrived until we left a few hours later. She was a shadow of the woman I'd met only a week earlier. That still haunts me.

Wrong And Strong

woman in white top wearing eyeglassesPhoto by RepentAnd SeekChristJesus on Unsplash

My ex-wife's grandmother was in her 90s and in a wheelchair. While we were up at the altar, she wouldn't shut up about the flowers and how they might need water. She was not talking quietly to her neighbor, either—she was yelling in her old lady voice. She didn't have dementia—she was very with it—she just had no volume control or understanding that what she was doing was inappropriate".

THEY LOOK TERRIBLE!" she yelled. One of the cousins, without saying anything, got up and started to just wheel her out. "WHERE ARE WE GOING?!" She yelled. We all got a chuckle at her, then we went on with the ceremony.

For The Birds

A friend of my girlfriend was getting married. The wedding was quite normal—they got married in the local church, then there was a party in a nice restaurant. The photographer asked the bride and her bridesmaids (my girlfriend was one of them) to go outside for some photos. Some minutes later, one of the bridesmaids came back asking for help. The most unexpected thing had happened.

Apparently, there were some swans that attacked the photographer and the majority of the people around him were not doing anything other than laughing. In their defense, it was hard not to—the guy who was running around and screaming.

Stage Fright

It was a big wedding with around 500 people. It was all the wife's doing—she wanted a huge $70,000 wedding. I was a groomsman. Pre-wedding, the groom was nervous as heck. There was a lot of pressure for the day to be perfect, and it was her dream wedding, yadda yadda. At some point, a bottle was pulled out. It went from a few "calm the nerves" shots to finishing the whole bottle.

We gave him water, got him in the shower, and then redressed him. Midway through her vows, he puked all down the front of her dress. It was horrible, but it was great to watch. They're going on eight years strong.

Runaway Bride

a woman in a blue dress sitting on a chairPhoto by Elle Cartier on Unsplash

My mother was a church organist and she attended many weddings. I suppose the story that stands out the most was one where the bride said she couldn't marry the guy because she didn't love him. She then ran out of the church in full Runaway Bride fashion. It was a smallish town, so people found out later that she had met somebody new and fallen hopelessly in love with him.

The Things These Eyes Have Seen

The bride and groom got way in their cups, then eventually started to argue with each other. They were crying, yelling, and screaming, running out into the courtyard and causing a scene. The best man went to check on them and found them rolling on the ground, but not in a sexy way. The best man threw the bride out of the way, slammed the groom’s head into the sidewalk, and pinned him down. The bride then started kicking the groom in the face.

The best man pushed her away while sitting on top of the groom, and the bride finally stormed off with a bridesmaid. Then, the best man let the groom up, who began kicking trees and breaking the posts off the gazebo. That's when he revealed what had been building up inside of him for months: "I'm going to kill myself!" The best man told the bridesmaid to go grab an officer from inside for assistance.

The officer came out and tried to help get the groom to his room since the wedding was at a fancy hotel. The groom proceeded to be disrespectful with the officer and ended up getting detained. The father of the groom then disowned him but also yelled at the bride. The best man and his date ended up taking care of the bride and groom’s child. At least they got to stay in their honeymoon suite for the night.

Source: I was the best man.

Field Trip

My dad has vintage and veteran cars, and when I was younger, he used to do some weddings with them. I loved clearing out the confetti from the car when he'd get home. One week, he arrived back and there was no confetti in the car...The story was wild. Apparently, on the way to the church, the bride changed her mind, and instead of taking her and her father to church, they asked if he could drop them at the local zoo as it was her favorite place.

So he did and he left them there in full wedding attire. They were going to get a taxi home when they were done. It was in the days before mobile phones too, so I'm guessing people were waiting at the church for quite a while. Also, I recently called my dad to ask him if he remembered this and he seems to think that she was only getting married because she was pregnant and thought she had to. It was the early '80s, after all.

This Took A Turn

File:New Year's Wedding.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

I went to a co-worker's wedding about 15 years ago and this happened at the reception. It was a beautiful outdoor venue overlooking a lake. Anyway, the groom had planned to sing a song to his new wife and have a fireworks launch as he was singing the last note. Well, that last note came but the fireworks did not. He held that last note for a good 10 seconds before he finally yelled “JESUS” and threw the mic down. He then ran to go fight the fireworks guy.

No fists were thrown, but somebody did end up in the lake. The party kind of broke up after that. They also ended up getting a divorce about a year later after the groom got fired from his job for showing his “package” to his boss’s underage daughter.

All In The Family

A fight broke out between the father of the bride, brother of the bride, and some guy who just happened to be staying at the hotel. In reality, I don’t know how much of a “fight” it was; it was more just the dad and brother assaulting some man. So anyway, they were both detained. Cut to the bride sobbing at breakfast because her dad and brother spent the evening of her wedding in the slammer. They faced assault charges for what they did to that poor man.

Beauty Is Pain

The bride and groom decided to "get a few pictures in" right after the ceremony...except they disappeared for about five hours. We all waited at the venue for them, but since no one got any word from them, the buffet wasn't set and the DJ didn't play any music. After two hours, most guests decided to collect some cash. We talked the manager of the venue into serving the buffet and getting the DJ to play music.

So we basically started the party without the couple. When they finally got back, they were in shock—basically, all food was gone, people were sloshed, and everybody had forgotten that this was their wedding. So the wedding itself wasn't ruined, but everything around it, well...at least the guests had a great time when we took things into our own hands.

For what it’s worth, they did actually take pictures during that time. The photographer did his best but to be honest, the couple wasn't that good-looking and they thought he could simply work some voodoo magic on the spot to make them look good. He was angry, to say the least, and actually tried to talk them into going back to their party several times.

Truth Hurts

a woman singing into a microphone on stagePhoto by Marco Lastella on Unsplash

I was a guest of a friend of the bride, and I did not know anyone attending. It was a very expensive, over-the-top place, and there were several hundred guests at this very Italian wedding. The maid of honor grabbed the mic at the cocktail hour and began her speech, rambling and clearly having had a few drinks. It quickly devolved into her stating that the recently deceased mother of the bride was against the wedding and that was what ended her.

She also said that “Vinny,” the groom, will never give up his sidepieces. The maid was tackled by several people and dragged away. The happy couple separated and divorced within a year.

Safe And Not-So Sound

This was around 2009 in Tenerife. On the second day of the wedding, the bride went swimming in the ocean. She swam out too far and was basically “lost at sea” for nine hours or so. She eventually found her way back but was in bad shape. Everyone was panicked the whole day and thought she drowned. By the time she got back, there was a twisted development.

Her husband found her phone and read a bunch of messages supposedly from her aunt, but it was clear from the content it wasn’t her aunt at all. She had been having an affair with the best man for years. They got an annulment shortly after. $60,000 down the drain. It was one of the most opulent weddings I’ve ever been to.

All’s Well That Ends Badly

It was a big wedding with an open bar, and most of the attendees (including the wedding party) were apparently gussied up white trash. The ceremony itself went on without any issue, but the reception became a big, messy party. It then started to run late, so the catering manager told the father of the bride that they'd exceeded their time and needed to start shutting down.

This led to an argument involving several members of the wedding party. "Do you know how much I paid?!" They eventually complied, but it stirred the inner white trash. The party then spilled out to the hotel bar where people continued drinking. Members of the wedding party were still stewing about the reception getting shut down and tempers were short.

Finally, something triggers the groom and he takes a swing at someone. That person swung back. Then the groomsmen started swinging. Now, it was a full-on donnybrook. The hotel staff managed to get them out of the bar and the fight spilled out into the front entrance of the hotel. The authorities showed up and tried to break up the fight, but the groom then tried to take a swing at an officer and proceeded to get the tar beat out of him.

The bride, at this point, was just standing on the sidelines screaming in support of her hubby. But a few minutes later, she said to herself, "Well, I guess we're doing this". She walked up to a female officer and took a swing at her. She chose the wrong female officer though because this woman was apparently way more yoked than she appeared to be and she took the bride to the ground.

The bride’s face hit a planter on the way down and she busted her nose. She started bleeding all over her wedding dress. By that point, the wagon showed up. Several people were handcuffed and loaded up, including the bride and groom.

Bad Reputation

peach, yellow, and white flowersPhoto by Alexandra Gornago on Unsplash

My best friend's mom got remarried and had an expensive, beautiful wedding; but for some reason, she didn't hire a DJ. Last-minute, her mom asked me to manage the CD and gave me a list along with verbal instructions of when to play each song. I tried to warn her that I simply did not follow what she was trying to say, but she told me she had confidence in me.

Apparently, all her life, she wanted to walk down the aisle to some specific song, but I just couldn't figure it out. They had to get walking to match the sunset, so she went ahead down the aisle while I flipped through a series of incorrect songs to the horror and amusement of the crowd. For years afterward, when I called my friend's house and her stepdad answered, he'd say, "Is this the guy who screwed up my wedding? How are ya?"

Childish Behavior

I was invited to the reception of one of my good friends. They had been courthouse married for months and were living happily. When I arrived at the location and saw the big crowd, I knew something was wrong. My friend's wife is prone to panic attacks and is extremely agoraphobic to the point of breaking down if she is overwhelmed.

I immediately called my friend and ask what was going on and if everything was okay. It turned out, out my friend's parents invited everyone possible to be there without my friend knowing. After I sent him a picture of the crowd, he and his wife thought it would be better to go on a second honeymoon than have a reception. He sent a message apologizing to everyone and told them to leave without telling his parents. His parents had a meltdown as we left.

Young And Dumb

I was invited to a wedding of a friend’s friend because she didn‘t have enough of her own people to get the reception as big as she wanted it to be. Also, the bride and groom were super young—she got pregnant three months after hooking up with him and were marrying for all the wrong reasons. When the party started, the whole atmosphere was forced and strained.

Everybody knew the whole thing was fake in a way, so I decided to spend my time outside instead. I was having a wonderful time…until I heard screaming inside. The bride then ran past us very Hollywood-style, all teary and dramatic. It turned out that the ice cake wasn‘t stored properly, so it melted and came out a little lopsided. The bride didn‘t come back, even though the cake was still really nice. The couple got divorced nine months later...

Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off

empty white chairs beside trees near body of waterPhoto by Luigi Pozzoli on Unsplash

A couple of years back, I was waitressing at this function lounge that was hosting a reception. The music started but nobody came in for a solid 30 seconds, so the DJ cuts the music. Everyone then heard loud arguing in the foyer for about a minute, and two men later came stumbling into the hall fighting each other bloody. It was the groom and the bride’s brother.

Turns out, the groom's side of the family didn’t want him marrying the girl, and the groom decided at the reception that he agreed with his family. Long story short, more people got involved with the fighting, and officers were called. The bride was, understandably, a crying mess. Still, she decided that if she spent so much money on the event, then they were going to have a party with or without the groom.

Honestly, she was so much stronger than I could have ever been, so good on her for that…but the whole thing was an absolute mess.

Head Games

This was one I worked at. After the ceremony, right at the start of the reception, the photographer was taking “jumping” photos of the bride and bridesmaids, so they were all jumping in the air while wearing heels. The bride landed and dislocated her knee, then passed out and kept going in and out of consciousness. We called an ambulance, who turned up and fixed her knee, but she wanted to continue with the wedding.

She then had the first course of the meal and threw up down her dress, and had to sit with her mother in another room while everyone else danced, etc. I felt so bad for her as she spent the rest of the evening crying.

Not A Good Look

The groom got so sloshed the night before that he couldn't make it to the altar at the ceremony. They still had the ceremony with only the bride and her party, plus one of the groomsmen, who apparently didn't get wasted. Everyone was shaking their heads the entire time. The groom did make one singular appearance for a few seconds at the reception.

He looked like a zombie and was wearing street clothes, which made things worse as it was no trashy wedding. The bride was a professional dancer for a major label pop star, so that gives you an idea of the type of people that were in attendance. 200 plus people were at the ceremony alone, and probably double that was at the reception. They divorced within six months.

Grin And Bear It

woman wearing white wedding dress with veilPhoto by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

The bride and groom planned a wedding at a Caribbean island resort, and their friends and family booked their trips. Well, everything turned upside down right before the wedding—the groom got caught with some other woman, so the whole ceremony was called off. It was too late to cancel the trips or get refunds, so mostly everyone, including the bride, went to the Caribbean island resort anyway.

The groom did not go, but his family and friends did, and they supported the bride. Everyone put on a brave face, trying to have a good time, but there was obviously an air of sadness about the whole thing behind the fake smiles. Looking back at the group pictures that were taken, it’s heartbreaking. The bride stopped nearly all contact with her friends and family after the trip. I think a part of her just couldn’t come back from the experience.

A House Divided

I went outside for some fresh air at a reception and I saw the groom's dad sitting in the back of his SUV drinking Knob Creek from the bottle. I was friends with the groom's family and knew the father well, so I went up and asked him what was going on. We all knew the bride was an entitled, spoiled brat, but she cranked it up to 11 that night.

Everything about the reception was wrong according to her. The food, the centerpieces, the decor, the DJ...everything. Even though everything was prepared exactly the way she wanted. Her behavior was not surprising, since her whole extended family was a bunch of entitled, spoiled brats too. They all gladly jumped on the hate bandwagon. The groom's family was slipping out the nearest door while the bride's family was berating every person they made eye contact with.

I think the only reason the dad was still there was in case his son had an epiphany and ran for it. He was poised to play getaway driver. I ended up sitting with dad until it was over. No way in heck was I walking back into that. My wife and their daughter were close friends (that's how we knew the family) and we had a front-row seat.

The daughter was sloshed and ready to throw hands, and the mom was all over the place too. They just hated this bride and her family so much. My wife basically became their wrangler, with a couple of other levelheaded females associated with the groom's family, to keep them from kicking the bride's butt. These are all upper-middle-class folks on both sides, by the way.

International Relations

An English guy was marrying an Irish girl in Ireland. The wedding guests were comprised mostly of her family, including people from Northern Ireland (the Republican areas) and England. The wedding was fine—it was all very romantic and the ceremony was nice. But then at the reception, during the speeches, everything went downhill.

It was all because of the best man speech. The best man was a particularly red-faced, Brexit-voting English man. He proceeded to make the most insensitive offensive speech, filled with “jokes” about re-colonizing Ireland one woman at a time, and how the stag party had been on Good Friday, but the hangover was so bad it led to a Bloody Sunday.

You get the idea. He ended up the speech by making a comment about how the speeches had gone on so long that it was like the guests were on a hunger strike. Throughout all of this, the English groom and his friends and family were laughing. They thought it was funny. Her Irish family was all fuming. I was there as a plus-one of the bride’s older cousin. It was aggressively awkward, and a lot of her cousins and uncles just refused to mingle with the groom’s family at all.

I'm no longer in touch with the guy who took me, so I don't know how the marriage is going. The bride was very kind, and despite his best man's speech, the groom seemed like a nice enough guy.

Surprise Ending

woman in white wedding gown holding bouquet of flowersPhoto by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

I went to a really weird wedding last year. The bridal party had different, fancier meals than the guests and they were all drinking free champagne, while we had to pay for lesser stuff with drink tickets (cash-only, no ATM). There weren’t enough tables to sit at, either—I guess the goal was to mingle and stand to eat—and there was definitely not enough food.

People were hogging the buffet stations and going back for thirds before some people had eaten at all. The bride and groom, who were friends of my partner’s, were really stand-offish and just took photos with their photographer all night. Later on, a fight among the two families broke out in the parking lot and the authorities were called.

We decided to leave, order a pizza, and have drinks in a park. When we went back to our hotel room, someone was passed out in our bed. Ah, New Jersey.

Stairway From Heaven

I'm a wedding photographer. I was at one really fancy event a couple of years ago. It was a typical outdoor deal at a swanky location in the middle of nowhere. The place was really nice—it had a large concrete stairway flanked by water fountains that led down to the altar area, so the bride could be seen by all like she was ascending from heaven.

The ceremony began and the bridal party came down to take their places. Then the bride appeared with her father. She took three or four steps down the concrete steps,then disaster hit. Her shoe twisted on her and she tumbled down a good 12 feet or more. She busted out the majority of her front teeth in the fall, and there was so much blood all over her.

With the place being so isolated, it took a good 40 minutes for the ambulance to arrive and she was in intense pain. Ultimately, she was OK and I got an email from them weeks later with the reschedule date. This time, there were no stairs anywhere in sight.

Money Can’t Buy Class

I was a caterer at a really expensive wedding overlooking the Rockefeller center during the holiday season. It was between two prominent New York Jewish families. The bride and groom had way too much to drink and started physically fighting in front of everyone on the dance floor while screaming in each other's faces. Like, the bride was literally trying to throw punches and the groom kept shoving her. But that's not even the worst part.

The groom's mother was also pretty blasted and had come back into the kitchen to blame us (the kitchen staff) for "ruining her baby's big day". Apparently one of the hors d'oeuvres came out a few minutes too late and this was to blame for them starting a public fistfight. I actually had permission to dip early from that shift and was getting into the elevator right as the groom was screaming. He had to be held back by multiple members of the wedding party.

I had to try really hard not to laugh about earlier when his mother screamed in my face about how we should feel ashamed and how she "wasn't going to pay a penny," as though hiring a team of 15 back-end chefs, five up-front-party chefs, two catering managers, and a team of wait-staff was something she could totally pay for after everyone already ate.

I don't know what happened after I left, but I was pleased to leave when I did.

Can’t Stay Away From Each Other

woman in white wedding gown standing on brown wooden stairsPhoto by Camila Cordeiro on Unsplash

This was a hilarious moment. It was a Christian wedding where the pastor refused to say the phrase, "You may now kiss the bride". The bride knew this going in but insisted that he say it anyway on the day. She had herself convinced the pastor would change his mind and ultimately say the phrase. Well, he didn't say it at the end of the ceremony.

The bride had a few drinks prior to walking down the aisle and proceeded to grab her new husband by the face and make out for what felt like a solid three minutes. At first, everyone was clapping and cheering for them, but eventually, the clapping petered out and we were left with two people just SUPER making out, in absolute silence, tongue and all, in front of 300 people.

I was a groomsman, so I got to see the stunned reaction of the entire crowd. Her grandparents and the older people were incredibly uncomfortable.

It’s A Bust

I worked at a wedding in upstate New York as part of the catering company. For context, this was at a summer camp-type place, with a ceremony on the lake and a reception in what could be described as a mess hall. It was in September, so I assume the camp was trying to make extra money after kids went back to school. The ceremony went off fine.

During the reception, however, disaster struck—the owners of the camp realized there was a building fire across the lake. It was a building from the 1800s, and it completely burned down. At the same time, the father of the bride slipped on the dance floor and split his head open. The ambulance got called, and he went to the hospital and ended up with stitches.

The place was a mess with fire trucks, ambulances, etc. The bride and groom then got in a massive fight, and the DJ packed up and left around 8:30. That marked the end of the wedding. I proceeded to drink my weight in Yuenglings and sleep in my car. Made good tips, though.

What Was She Thinking?

I worked as a wedding decorator for five years. Two years ago, we did the decor for a really pretty ceremony, and halfway through the day, we found out it was a "surprise wedding". The reality is even worse than that sounds. Basically, they were not engaged, but the bride planned the whole thing and the groom showed up at the golf course thinking he was just playing a regular round of golf. Nope.

He walked into his own wedding, saw her standing at the altar, and peaced the heck out. As he should have. Truly one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen in all my years of doing weddings, and I’ve seen A LOT.

What A Waste

two people standing on brown wooden floorPhoto by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

50% of the people who RSVPed to my wedding didn't come. My brother-in-law who volunteered to DJ didn't actually bring any DJ equipment, so our reception was powered by Pandora. He also said he would capture the ceremony and create a video of the highlights of the reception, but didn't bring his video camera. The florist also forgot to deliver about 50% of the flowers. That was already bad enough, but things just kept getting worse.

The reception venue took everything we discussed and then decided to do the opposite. There weren’t enough tables and no dance floor, among other things. When we tried to get it fixed, the man who was sent to change out the tables stood outside the window of the reception hall angrily drinking from a bottle. It was an absolute mess and no one seemed to care.

I later spoke with a friend who had worked with that man, and he explained that that sort of behavior happens pretty much any time he is asked to do anything, so...We made a CD with a couple of songs on it for my brother-in-law to play before the ceremony began. He insisted that he had something better. It was two songs played on repeat for about an hour.

My immediate family was late to the wedding, including my sister who was a bridesmaid, and my mother and father. They had originally offered to help set up everything that morning, but I guess they just got a late start. My veil got lost the night before the wedding. It still has not resurfaced. After everyone was done eating and the cake had been cut, I dimmed the lights in the reception hall to change the atmosphere to more fun, party vibe and get people dancing. Everyone got up and left.

It didn't go great, but my husband and I ended up married and we're still very happy together. I guess that's the most important thing. Still, I wish I'd saved the money from the whole thing and gotten married at the county clerk instead.

Evil Stepmother

My father-in-law’s wife at the time attempted to ruin our wedding. The week before our wedding, she sent my mother an email saying that I, the bride, was too good for her stepson. She then messaged me that she had decided not to wear the dress that we had picked out together. She refused to come to the wedding rehearsal, then showed up on the day of in a garish, skimpy outfit.

She wouldn't speak to anyone and just sat there with her arms crossed for the whole day. We just ignored her, even when she threw away all the leftovers from the post-ceremony brunch that my husband and his best guys catered (they're all chefs). My father-in-law divorced her the following year.

The Big Grift

My cousin attended a wedding where the bride and groom got scammed by the wedding organizer. One hour before the wedding event, there was nothing in the room—no food, no decorations, just a few tables, and basically an unused ballroom. The bride and groom realized the wedding organizer hoodwinked them and took the money to buy a big ol' house.

You End How You Start

Free Images : decoration, groom, toy, marriage, wedding cake ...pxhere.com

It started with the best man just absolutely roasting the bride and her parents. Basically, he called them gold diggers in front of several hundred family and friends. Then they cut the cake. Apparently, the groom was told under no uncertain terms not to shove cake in her face. Well, he did it anyway and she stormed off, not to be seen for 20 minutes. The chaos didn't end there, either.

The reception went on as planned, but she got wasted and passed out that night in the middle of the street while still in her wedding dress. Pure class. They’re divorced now.

In It To Win It

My own wedding was a disaster. It rained so it was cold, and no one bothered to turn the lights on. The few pictures I have are dark and grainy. My parents divorced earlier that year, so my dad hated seeing my mom at the wedding and didn’t stick around to get a picture with me. My husband’s mom didn’t even take off work to attend.

The good news is that we just celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary.

The Real Deal

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom bought the wedding package on Groupon...which is fine; like, why spend a fortune for one day? But I guess the venue thought they could cut some corners, so they did the worst thing they could have done—they stuck us in a room that smelled so strongly of cat urine that some people immediately left. The only drinks were those from a vending machine.

It was next to an airport, so every time a plane took off, the ceremony had to be paused because you couldn’t hear anything. And the day after the event, every single one of us had food poisoning.

Loose Lips…

man holding black glide cam and black Canon DSLR cameraPhoto by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash

I attended a wedding reception and was seated near the cameraman. An aunt of mine was sitting closer to the camera and spent the evening commenting and gossiping about everyone. Much of it came out on the video. The cameraman was great, he did two copies—one edited and the other no holds barred. The unedited version is the stuff of legend.

Double The Trouble

It was a big wedding with over 300 people. Except, it turned out the bride had a dirty little secret—she had been having an affair with her cousin’s husband. The cousin had known for a little bit but waited until the wedding to go table to table, letting everyone know the bride was sleeping with her husband. The poor groom was blindsided. The worst part was his father-in-law was well-off and opened up a restaurant for him. Well, he lost his wife and his restaurant.

One Bad Idea

The wedding was held at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge and waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her end. It was like 500+ feet.

Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer

two man's hands wearing gold-colored wedding ringsPhoto by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash

My friend is a wedding photographer. While he was waiting at the altar to take photos, the best man gave a shocking announcement. He told everyone that the groom was coming out as gay and that the wedding was canceled. Everyone laughed like it was a best man joke, but no, it was very serious. The bride was on the way in the car, and she was not happy.

All the guests had to wait while they sorted their lives out. In the end, they split the reception room into two and each family had their own dinners. Needless to say, they didn't want the photos.

Top Secret

The bride gave explicit wedding instructions beforehand through various channels. One rule was that there were to be no posts on social media before the bride gave the OK, and certainly no posts before she posted herself. Anyway, a few hours before the wedding, someone posted something, saying that they were at the wedding or whatever.

Absolutely nothing malicious, just a generic statement. The bride saw this and everyone could tell she was about to blow up. At the end of the vows, the bride turned to the congregation and said, "Can you all please unfriend Jennifer as I gave out explicit instructions that there are to be no social posts until I give the OK, and she has broken that rule today".

Just imagine—she literally just finished her vows and she finally has a new husband, but that was the first thing on her mind. Everyone awkwardly laughed as if she was joking…nope. She then stormed off, with her new husband awkwardly following behind. There was a weird atmosphere after that and everyone started making excuses to go home.

I'm talking proper fake emergency stuff here: "I have to get back because I need to err, my erm, yeah bye.".. Everyone left much earlier than usual. No one wanted to be there and have awkward conversations with the bride.

There are some wild medical conditions out there, and sometimes, I feel like we're never done learning about them.

It was just a few years ago that my brother told me about Cotard's delusion, a rare psychological disorder in which the person afflicted believes they are dead, immortal, or don't exist.

I didn't even believe him at first, but when I looked it up, it turned out to be a real thing (and I even based an entire short story around it).

A lot of crazy medical conditions sound like they are not real, but it turns out, they are. Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share the craziest medical conditions they've ever heard of.

It all started when Redditor TweekerAllWeeker asked:

"What is the craziest medical condition you've ever heard of?"

Frozen

"Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva (FOP) is a rare muskuloskeletal condition where, after birth and progressively through life, muscles and tendons are gradually transformed into bone (a process called ossification). This creates a second “skeleton” of extra bone, which makes movement impossible."

– yParticle

"Idk if it's real, but I heard people with FOP have to chose, at some point, the position they want to spend the rest of their life in, standing sitting or laying down."

– aoi4eg

"I saw a show about this when I was a kid and the whole idea still f**ks with me."

– Jaway66

You Thinking What I'm Thinking?

"There are conjoined twins (the Hogan sisters) who are attached at the head and their brains are attached. Each one can see through her sister's eyes. Each one can taste the food the other one is eating."

– Fun_in_Space

Fragility

"I met a guy who practically had eggshells for bones. He broke them about 50 times or so doing simple things like just sitting on a couch or brushing his teeth."

– Odd-Package-4713

"That'd be osteogenesis imperfecta type 3."

– crimpytoses

"My nephew has osteogenesis imperfecta and is almost 8yrs old. CPS got involved when he was a baby and hadn’t been diagnosed yet, thinking there was abuse, which was so sad for my family. They later found out what it was and have made medical accommodations. Man, he’s such a sweet, happy boy despite his condition. He hasn’t known anything other than this his entire life, so for him pain is normal (which makes me so sad), but he is bright, engaging, and so very amazing in every way that I get pissed the f**k off that he’s dealing with this."

– Purse_Whiskey

Life Span

"That disease that ages people at an insane rate that often kills it’s sufferers before they turn 16. I think it’s called progeria."

– MascotGuy2077

"That is a wild one, also the girl that looks 8 but is in her 20's, it's crazy as f**k."

– IThinkMyLegsAreBroke

"At my old place, two of the kids in the community had progeria. I'd only ever see them once a week at most, but they always seemed happy when I came across them; their family made a real effort to make their time count. I've always wondered how they grapple with the reality of their situation at their young age, though. How do you even bring that kind of subject up as a parent?"

– miniman03

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers

"The Capgras delusion: the person becomes inalterably convinced that someone close to them has been replaced by an imposter who has disguised him/herself so cleverly that they look identical to the replaced person."

""Yes, this woman looks and acts just like my wife and knows everything my wife would know. ...But she is an imposter disguised to fool me and I will have nothing to do with her.""

"It's funny to think about in some ways but would be absolutely terrifying to have."

– dr3rdeye

Facial Blindness

"This reminds me of a condition where people lose the ability to see faces. Their eyes work, they can see anything, but if it is or resembles a human face it gets turned in an undeterminable blur."

– random_sh*tter

"Faceblind. I have this. Brad Pitt has this. The worst part is when I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, think "oh that's what I look like," then promptly forget my face 5 seconds later. I cannot point myself out in family photos."

– GodsCasino

"Prosopagnosia. It comes in varying degrees of severity. I have it. I have a lot of trouble recognizing people in unfamiliar contexts, like seeing your teacher at the grocery store. I have to see somebody a lot of times before I can recognize their face, unless they have some distinguishing feature (like my friend with a long beard). My friends tend to be people who look or dress distinctively, because it’s so much easier for me to recognize them."

– linuxgeekmama

Cut It Off!

"Body integrity disphoria: people who desperately want to cut off a part of their body, a limb for instance. They have always been thought of as insane until someone decided to have a look at their brains and realised that the limb in question isn't registering in their brain. To them, it feels like an alien appendage was sewn to their body. I find that so fascinating."

– Deleted User

Is It Still There?

"Or the other way around, phantom limb syndrome. When one loses their limb but still feels itchiness or pain on that non-existent limb. They use mirror therapy which is quite interesting as well."

– trickydaze

Strange Immunity

"Knew a woman who couldn’t conceive with her husband."

"He could theoretically get another woman pregnant, and she could theoretically get pregnant from another man, they just couldn’t conceive together."

"He donated blood (maybe marrow) to her while she was being treated for cancer. This somehow made her body immune to his sperm."

"They wound up adopting a couple of kids."

– ShaolinDave79

Anti-Hydration

"Allergy to water. It's extremely rare, last I researched it I believe there were less than 10 documented cases. And yes, they are allergic to themselves. They can't drink straight water, typical hygiene is a huge no go, and even humidity can trigger bad reactions."

– KaliCalamity

"How do these poor people live…"

– Crackheadwithabrain

"Not well, and on a lot of antihistamines"

– KaliCalamity

"I knew one of those kids who has the disorder. His twin brother was diabetic, and I didn't believe him, but his parents confirmed it. His skin was constantly cracked and sloughing off. Poor kid. I felt so bad for him."

– arcticnerd

"How do they stay.... Hydrated? Do they have to drink insanely alkaline water? What about their blood? Like wtaf???"

– Grouchy-Place7327

"They can have small amounts of water, but at least in the documentary I saw, the couple of people it focused on usually stuck to things like juices and milk, as they're less reactive. The major danger is skin contact."

– KaliCalamity

Seeing Things

"My nephew had PFAPA (periodic fever, aphthous stomatitis, pharyngitis, adenitis). Basically he would get a very high fever every 3-4 weeks with no other symptoms other than the fever alone. One night when he was maybe 5 years old, he was going through an episode and called his mom (my sister) into his room. He told her that he was really scared because his bedroom was covered in bees. I guess the hallucinations aren’t always fun."

"He had his tonsils and adenoids removed and that was the cure!"

– emjayholla

A Whole Different Perspective

"Synesthesia. A condition where your brain mixes up sensory signals."

"With this condition, one might be able to taste words, or certain numbers will always appear a specific color, or you might literally see music or smell something and feel as though you're being touched."

– ChaoTiKPranXter

"I can hear color. Sounds have different colors to me. This is especially true of people’s voices. Barbra Streisand, for example, has a light amber voice."

– IoSonCalaf

"I have that! For a while I thought everyone did."

– RenegadeRabbit

It's surprising how many of these I've actually heard of (thanks to Grey's Anatomy) but that last one is completely new!

Perplexed father with his daughter looking at her computer
Photo by sofatutor

Parents lie.

But the older we get, the more we realize parents are not just humans telling little white lies.

They can be villains with malicious intent.

Catching a parent in a lie can be soul-crushing.

But it's a part of growing up.

Hopefully we learn how to be better.

Redditor Hackedfaith wanted to hear about the times people realized their parents were hard-fibbing, so they asked:

"What is the worst lie you caught your parents telling?"

My mom told me anything in life was possible.

And cheaters never win.

Yeah sure. Sell me an igloo an Iceland too.

​Expelled

Andy Samberg Ugh GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy

"My Dad used to tell me that he learned all of his cool tricks and skills in 'Daddy School.' I'm now 28, married and still have not been enrolled."

AdLive7065

Thief

"That the 2K I earned at my summer job would be safe in my mom's savings account until I wanted to withdraw it later. Never saw that money again."

drillgorg

"I lost money to my mom too. I was a kid, told her I had $50 in change (I don't know where it all came from), and she said I didn't. She counted it and it was gone."

"She stole a good deal of my babysitting money. Hundreds of dollars. She filed my first tax return (without telling me) and kept whatever money I would have got. She told me that the fee to get it done was about as much as I would have gotten back."

Sarhii

A Second Family

"That my mother was schizophrenic. I was 15 and knew she had been battling depression for years. Schizophrenia runs in our family and as an angsty teenager, it was very easy for me to believe... She was completely convinced that my father had a secret second family. She was diagnosed and medicated for years. He did have a second family."

Thationdeas76

"He did have a second family??? That had to have been devastating. 'Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.'"

TwoLittleNeedleMarks

2008

"That they couldn’t afford to pay for college. So I took a job during the day and paid my way through night and weekend school. Turns out I had a decent trust fund from my grandfather. I could have graduated and started working for a higher wage 4 years earlier. I tell myself that graduating in 2008 wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway."

RandomRavenclaw87

Weekends Only

Looney Tunes Rabbit GIFGiphy

"Up until I was 8 years old, they told me that daddy was away at college. We would go see him on weekends. Found out later that he was in prison. I wondered why we could only talk to him behind glass on a telephone."

hhairy

The truth about parents can often to difficult to accept.

That's why there is therapy.

Scandal

Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy

"Found out when I was 25 I have a sister one year older than me that they gave up for adoption, I'm 37 and have been searching for her for the past 10 years."

Even_Future2580

'Mom! Mom!'

"One night I went downstairs to ask my mother something. My dad was a light sleeper and would get really pissed if anyone woke him up, so I whispered, 'Mom! Mom!' All of a sudden my dad sat up and yelled at me to get lost. They told me I should never sneak up on them because they had a gun and my dad thought I was an intruder and almost shot me."

"They scared the bejeezus out of me. Sometimes when I tried to get to sleep I'd remember how my dad almost shot me. For years. Even after I moved out. Decades later, I mentioned it to my mom. She started laughing and told me they were having sex. There was no gun."

Sapphyrre

Internal Affairs

"My dad went into the ER with stroke-like symptoms. He ended up having a severe brain bleed that required immediate and major surgery. While he was laying in the ICU, my mother, who opened their computer to get insurance info, found messages on his linked-in page, that he’d left open earlier that morning before I took him to the ER, from a woman he was engaged to in college. They had been having an affair for over a year."

ParanrmlGrl

Still Works

"They told me if I was lying there would be bubbles on my tongue. So when they asked me something and they thought I was lying they'd tell me to stick out my tongue. If I knew I was telling the truth, I'd open my mouth confidently and show off my bubble-free tongue. If I was lying, I'd try to scrape the bubbles off with my teeth. I now use it on my son. Still works."

Obst1994

Tilly

"When I was 4 We had a dog called Tilly, my mom said that she gave her away to a boy who couldn't speak and she died while saving him from drowning in a river Years later when I was around 13, my mom was on the phone with her friends and they were talking about their pets that passed away, turns out that tilly died because my mom was drunk and let her out of the house, she ended up getting hit by a car."

Yogurt2022

Bad Bunny

Easter Bunny Dance GIF by SportsManiasGiphy

"When my sibling and I were young, we were tossing toys around that the Easter Bunny had left for us. My mom started yelling at us, 'I did not buy those for you to treat them like that.'"

ExMoIsMyPersonality

Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy... the lies are enormous.

Two people talking with cups of coffee
Photo by Chewy on Unsplash

Dating is complicated, because it can be really awkward, but if we want to find a partner, it's an activity we just kind of have to do.

The most frustrating thing about it, though, is that everything can seem to be going fine... until it isn't. The date is going well, the person we're with is charming, we're having a nice time together, but then a dealbreaker makes an unfortunate appearance.

Redditor whitneywestmoreland asked:

"What's something that happened on a first date that made you decide against a second date?"

Not Wowing Enough

​"The date felt more like a job interview to fill a position, rather than an actual date. He gave off a vibe of someone who wasn't into getting to know me as a person, but just listed his wants and needs."

"So at the end of the date, he asked how I thought it went, and I said I didn't feel a click or a match."

"And he said yeah and that he was missing that 'wow factor.'"

"So I laughed my a** off (slightly offended) on the car ride home. Gosh, I had no idea I was auditioning for a contest."

"I was happy we only went for drinks, but even that felt a bit too long."

- Selfish_Kitty

Not As Attractive As One Might Think

"He threw a temper tantrum because the restaurant he wanted to go to was closed due to the tropical storm that was going on."

"It's sad because I was having a great time walking around Manhattan while the storm raged. I had every intention of going home with him until he had that tantrum."

- msspider66

Let the Past Go

"I took her to dinner and then took her to a late-night car meet. Upon arriving at the meet, she started s**t with several other girls she had beef with in high school... and hasn’t talked to since high school."

"We were well into our 20s. She was even older than me."

"I don’t get how some people make high school beef their entire personality for years."

- TheThrowawayMouse

Different Senses of Humor

"We went to her place to watch movies and we chose 'Kung Fu Panda 2.' From the moment it began, she proceeded to cackle at every single joke. Anything that could even be perceived as mildly funny set her off like the Wicked Witch of the West."

"I know some people have interesting laughs and that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't constant from beginning to end."

"After that, she put on 'Iron Man,' and the same thing happened, witch cackling the entire movie."

"There's a point in the movie where a character's phone goes off, and the ringtone is an old 'Iron Man' theme, which made me chuckle."

"She turned to me and said, 'You laugh at all the weirdest parts!'"

"The second the movie was over, I got out of there and did not see her again."

- J-Dizzle42

Quite the Conversationalist

"He said nothing. I get he was nervous but I was engaging. I asked questions that should have led to at least a few sentences of conversation, but no, one-word answers only."

"It was dinner and a movie so our only opportunity to talk was dinner. It was like pulling teeth. No thanks, no second date."

- redditreader_aitafan

Ready to Settle Down

"She kept talking about the 'emergency d**k' she had stashed around the city."

"She was like, 'I've been really busy with [grad] school, but I don't go without. I have plenty of emergency d**k around town.'"

"And when I say she kept going on, I mean she KEPT GOING ON. She was telling me about the two guys downtown, three in the suburbs, one near campus, and two in her apartment complex."

"It honestly sounded like I was new to town and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit."

"It was just weird."

"She also said she was looking to settle down into a relationship (whereas she had only been in situationships before). She also said she had a 'virgin heart.'"

- callmevicious

"I really want to know what she hoped to accomplish by sharing all that with him."

"Clearly, she expected him to be impressed in some way."

- _Halboro_

"It sounds like she wanted him to be her everyday d**k and take her heart virginity!"

- illustrious_ocelot_

In It For the Food

"I went on a date with a woman from the office. I thought we had good chemistry and got along well."

"Later in the date, she couldn't find her phone, so I tried calling it, and someone from the restaurant where we'd had dinner answered."

"I went back in for her to get it, and the waiter showed me I was saved in her contacts as 'Free Food.'"

- Sol-Blackguy

A Terrible Tipper

"He insisted on paying for our dinner instead of going Dutch, and then he totally stiffed the server."

"I tried to leave a tip and he got p**sed at me because he was paying and it was his decision to tip or not."

- Westonworld

Yeah, That... That Would Do It

"He just kept making a weird amount of jokes about tapeworms?"

"Also, this happened while we were eating sushi, just in case anyone was wondering."

- oldfarmhousechutney

Too Close to Home

"This happened to my sister, but she found out the guy had the same uncommon last name as her."

"Then when she asked where he was from, it was the same small town that our great grandparents are from."

"They awkwardly laughed and just immediately ended the date."

- LadderUpset

A Lot to Take In At Once

"She told me that aliens cause jet lag and that I have the ghost of a fisherman following me around named Samuel (on top of the 20 other bats**t things she said at dinner)."

"This was last night, and I'm still processing."

- RVBY1977

Disrespectful From the Very Beginning

"Very recently, a woman asked me when I would get a real career."

"I love what I do. I'm a union stagehand in a major entertainment city. I have been in my industry for over 20 years, toured the country, toured the world, and make a comfortable living."

"Yeah, no. That's pretty demeaning and I'm out."

- azorianmilk

Sixth Grade Gossip Vibes

"She kept writing to her friends on WhatsApp a play-by-play of the date instead of listening to me, so I stood up, paid my dinner, and left because I found it disrespectful as f**k."

- Dune_Asmr

An Accidental Affair

"I went to dinner with a girl who I'd been crushing on for quite some time. It seemed to be going well, and we ended up back at her place, watching a movie or something."

"Out of nowhere, her boyfriend (of whom I was not aware) came back from out of town and stopped in unexpectedly."

"He and I had a super awkward conversation for a few minutes, and then the two of them disappeared into another room for a minute or two."

"She came back and said something to the effect of, 'I don't have a place for you. I'm sorry.'"

"I just kind of got in my car and drove home, with one of the strangest feelings that I'd ever felt."

"At some point, a few minutes into the journey, I couldn't contain myself and busted out laughing."

- Richard_Thickens

We can absolutely understand why these would be causes for no second date. From awkward to straight-up creepy, these don't feel like scenarios that we'd willingly sign up for twice.