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Heavy topic ahead.

Life moves on and on and we are forced to deal with all of our choices, no matter how big or small. Inevitably, we are not going to have agreed with everything we chose to do.

Hopefully, we can live without regret. But not always.


u/SunflowerSeedOfEvil asked:

What's your biggest regret?

Here were some of the answers.


Working For Me

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Being so preoccupied with what I was supposed to do that I never did what I wanted to do.

Since the chance has been afforded to me, I'm getting on a soapbox in order to help others not do what I've done.

For people coming to this thread in the coming days/weeks, please don't take this comment as instruction to say "f*ck it all" and binge netflix, or spend your last $100 for the month on stupid sh!t.

You don't actually want to waste time like that. I actually did things like that, and it was important for me at the time - I needed to 'turn off' and melt my brain a while.

But in my case what I actually wanted was to do something with myself. Take Chances, Make Mistakes. From my experience, I can tell that the chances I would have taken would have been well-thought-out, and either failing them or succeeding I would have gained something useful - important experience at the least, and very possibly incredible wealth or exciting careers at the best.

I would have followed through on my chainmail business. I would have joined the local renfest group. I would have gone all-in for roadtrips with friends. I would have an amazing body through martial arts training. I would have failed harder in romance. I would have told people important to me how important they are. I would have showed the f*ck up and done something to get people out of a situation that was very bad.

Instead, in many ways, what I'm referring to as "what I was supposed to do" is the times I took a safe road. I have a BA in psych because...well because "it suited me". 8 years later I'm starting a (surprisingly satisfying) career in IT....I should have just started with IT and I would be making nearly double at this point.

THIS ARTICLE: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ , back from the time that cracked.com was worth reading, was part of the turning point for me.

I needed to get my sh*t together. That article helped me get my sh*t together enough to begin focusing on the things that I want to do.

superkp

History

I regret not asking my parents more questions about their past before they died.

Macadeemus

I have a similar regret of not asking my great grandma about my families history and how it was like living through WWII in Poland before she passed away.

SunflowerSeedOfEvil

What If...?

Not saying yes to a girl who asked me to a high school Sadie Hawkins dance, where the girl asks the guy. This was almost ten years ago, and I still think about it

bliked

We all have regrets like that. I remember being in high school and this girl I really liked asked me over one day.

I was stoned and declined. She started dating another one of my friends a few weeks later, but we always had a flirty relationship.

I'm married now to the absolute love of my life now, but still wonder what might have happened.

notgoodwithyourname

Death And Taxes

One that haunts me is I didn't answer the last call my dad made to me. He had been dying of cancer and was on a significant amount of pain meds. I was having a sh*tty morning and after months of stress, and helping care for him traveling between states, just wasn't in the mood for another jibberish conversation. He left me a rambling nonsensical voicemail. He lost consciousness soon after and died in hospice.

I doubt he was hurt or would even remember it if he was alive today. Still kind of sucks.

My biggest regret is not documenting more of what my dad told me. We had months of time to sit knowing he was going to die, often on his porch when I was in town, and chat about life and stuff. But I didn't write anything down and I have a pretty bad memory for details. I enjoyed the time and the conversations but don't remember much about them.

My second biggest regret is accumulating debt. I make a ridiculous amount of money but the debt is going to have a huge negative impact on my and my family's financial situation for the next 3-5 years and that's assuming no surprises pop up (and they always do).

clocks212

Toxic Friends

Giving my friendship away to people that didn't earn it.

cornered42

Dear God, this. So much this. I've had more bad experiences in the past 365 days with people who don't and never did deserve a minute of my time and I was too dumb to realize the friendship wasn't being reciprocated or was being used for nefarious purposes on their end.

Still hurting from some of the events, and I may not completely get over some of it, but hey, I'm still here, I'm learning from my mistakes, and I'm moving on from the toxicity.

BobwasalsoX

Capitalism Is Crushing Us All

Not finishing college. I've been on my own since I was 16 and I stayed in high school regardless. I did 1 semester in college and then left because I couldn't afford it.

Now I'm 48 and stuck in a job that I hate and I have no prospects because work experience doesn't hold value anymore.

I work in admissions at a college and it's the saddest thing to me when I see students who want to drop out. I tell them that I am the poster child for why you should stay in school.

Sex_and_giggles

None.

Every time I think of big regrets they would have resulted in significant differences in my life. Since I didn't meet my wife till I was 35, and then only by random chance, all of them would have resulted in missing out on that. So nothing I can think of is worth that

HaggisLad

Here Alone

I think it has to be when I told my best friend that I was a homosexual, he was completely fine with it until he told his religious father. Didn't want him being around me and that was pretty much the end of that. Closet thing to a best friend I've ever had.

bhind45

Your friend's father is an *sshole. If he is 'Christian', he doesn't understand the example of Jesus. He embraced 'sinners', he didn't tell his followers to ostracize them.

Shame your friend didn't stand up for himself and find a way to keep in touch, which I gather didn't happen.

Euchre

But You Got Out

I spent far too long in an abusive relationship. When I finally got out, I was utterly broken, had zero self respect, had given him all of my savings. Years later, I'm still recovering. I'm so much better off now, but I occasionally still cry out of simple, sheer regret about that time.

pr0digalnun

Twenty Years Can Still Turn Around

When I was about 30, I got married and then I got fat. For the next 20 years, I complained about being fat and tried all sorts of fad things trying to get healthier and lose weight, but they never worked. I'd start exercise one day and stop the next. Or I'd go for a week not eating carbs, then eat a whole pie out of the blue and that was it.

When I was 49, I had been reading about CICO (Calories In, Calories Out) on the r/loseit subreddit and saw the photos of people who were losing weight just by being accountable and counting their calories. I was like - no way. "All the studies" show that counting calories doesn't work! If I couldn't lose weight by eating only potatoes (which didn't last long), there was no way I'd be adding up my calories every day long term. Even so - I was 49. I had been fat for nearly 20 FREAKING YEARS. 20 years of baggy clothes, being tired, spending all my spare cash on fast food and snacks, not being happy with a single photo of myself.

So, I told myself I'd try it for a week. I gave myself a modest calorie deficit, and was shocked that I documented everything I ate that week, kept to my budget - and actually lost 5 pounds! So I did it the next week, too, and again lost 3 pounds. I then thought, well, I've done it for 2 weeks, let's do a month. And I did.

It's now been 377 days that I've tracked, and I've lost 95 pounds in that time. IT WASN'T HARD. I ate what I wanted - I just got used to eating much smaller bits. I really haven't exercised much (I need to, though, as parts of me are now a tad saggy). It still shocks me that I've been able to lose nearly 100 pounds - and I'm still going.

I feel GREAT except I have SO MUCH regret for the stupidity and laziness I did that caused me to waste so much of what could have been 20 awesome years. It's not that I think being regular-sized would have made me a big success at anything, or that my life would have been problem free. But, I know I would have been much more active, my moods have certainly evened out since I've stopped eating so much sugar and fat, I could have been wearing cute clothes all along - and my 30s and 40s could have been my Fun Adult years. Now I'm 50, and while I can still be sporty and active and feel better about myself and be more even-keeled, I'm like - I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS ALL ALONG! All those nights I watched TV and ate dozens of cookies - those are not the memories I'll cherish when I'm legitimately old. And I regret the loss of years of those good memories.

All ya'll in your 20s-30s-40s - IT'S NOT TOO LATE! It's like what happens with Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - she had the ability to do what she needed to do all along! You just have to be willing to do the work, and not try to 'game your system.' You're going to be 50 or 60 or 70 eventually anyways - don't you want to be your BEST version of yourself when you get there? I used to hate when people said this, but now I know it to be true: If I can do it, you can, too.

pbrooks19

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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