The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
I 7892`1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4C4Re-yqBw&t=29sThese Gestures Are Offensive In Other Countries | George Takei's Oh Myyy
People explain the friendly gestures in one country that are offensive in another. It's imperative to do a little research about the destinations and culture...Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
The Closet
Oh Boy Dog GIFGiphy"She's currently sleeping under the bed. When I got home from work she didn't greet me at all, so I got nervous and went to find her."
"My husband had accidentally locked her in the closet!"
"Her stupid little face when I got her out was so cute. I love her so much. I'm gonna go wake her up and force her to snuggle with me now."
Poop Posts
Encouragement Dog Poop GIFGiphy"Pooped a sock on the neighbor's lawn, which I, in a bathrobe, had to rush out and clean up."
"Sh*tting in my moms daisies she planted 2 days ago."
"I'm so proud."
- Maxivixx
"Cry outside the toilet door because I'm not letting him watch me poop"
The Most Important Work
Best Friends Lol GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"She is laying next to me in the bed, head on my knees."
"She wakes me up from nightmares and keeps the truck safe all day. When I get lost in memories or severe despair she knows and comes and inserts herself."
"I'm living with PTSD and a whole bunch of self worth issues than make me want to die. So basically the dog is keeping me alive."
Potato Time
Napoleon Dynamite Liger GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"She woke me up at 6am for walkies."
"I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards, so I went out for coffee, and came back to see her and my wife snuggling in bed under the covers."
"I'm just going to let them be potatoes while I go draw in my office."
Babysitting
Best Friends Dog GIF by DisneyGiphy"The dog is babysitting my granddaughter."
"Controls where she goes, what she takes, what she does. My granddaughter loves this dog. They're about the same height."
Decent Co-Workers
Work From Home Cute Dog GIFGiphy"I usually spend a bit of the early AM with my laptop upstairs in the couch while I catch up on emails, drink coffee, and warm up (house is a bit cool I'm the morning)."
"My dog loves me working from home in that he's learned this is a great time to plunk down his head on my lap and get scatches."
"I cannot complain."
- phormix
After Daycare
French Bulldog Dog GIF by Wag HotelsGiphy"Mines currently on my lap licking his butthole."
"He went to daycare today so he's had lots of other dogs' noses up there."
"No way I'm letting him lick my face for the rest of the night though."
- ejfrodo
Helicopter
Golden Retriever Dog GIFGiphy"Right now he is wiggling in circles because I taught him the word "Helicopter" as a command, and someone on the news just said it."
"Man, do I love him."
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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So how do we even begin to ensure our four-legged pals know they're loved and also taken care of?
Curious to hear how we can make our pets happy, Redditor TimeMasterBob asked:
"Veterinarians of Reddit, what is something most pet owners can do to make their pets lives better?"
Being tactile was a common suggestion for pet owners.
Reach Out And Touch
"10 years working at a Animal Hospital. Help your pet get used to being touched. Especially when they are young. You and by extension your vet needs to be able to look into your pets mouth. Look into their ears. Touch their feet and toes. Vet visits are tourture for animal who don't like being touched. And you can miss something important if you don't look at these things yourself regularly, because 'he doesn't like it.'"
Handle With Care
"I think the best thing you can do for your new pet, especially a puppy or kitten, is handle it A LOT when they're young. Getting them used to have their feet handled, nails trimmed, mouth opened (even extra benefit if you get them used to teeth brushing daily - gold standard for at home dental care), ears touched (particularly breeds prone to ear infections - huge benefit in the future if you have to administer topical ear medication)… Restraint is also a big thing. I always tell my clients to practise restraint with their animals. That wriggly puppy that is cute when it nips when you hold it still grows up into a large dog that can't be safely examined because it hasn't learnt to be okay with restraint."
Interaction
"Rather than just getting them a bunch of toys and hoping that keeps them entertained...just sit on the floor and actually interact with them for a bit. Establishes a connection, and is cheaper than a bunch of fancy products that you toss to them and hope they are enthralled."
Being attentive to their health was another topic of discussion to ensure the happiness of pets.
About Cages
"For small pets, stop shoving them in tiny cages and then forgetting about them!! Most pet store cages are incredibly tiny compared to the bare minimum the specific animals need. Do your homework and make sure you are getting something large enough. And for pets that you can, LET THEM OUT! Guinea pigs, rabbits, some birds, they want to be let out and love the extra space. Just do it safely. Again do your homework to make sure you create a safe space for your pet to play."
Health
"Removing a mass when it's small is faster (less anaesthetic risk), less invasive, less painful, less expensive and has a better chance of curing cancer should the mass turn out to be cancerous. This is even more pressing on delicate areas like eyelids and feet where there may not be a lot of extra tissue to work with should a large lump need to be removed."
"Cartrophen/pentosan/zydax injections are relatively cheap and can keep your pet comfortable by not only helping to prevent future arthritis but by helping to ease any that is already present."
"Dental disease is serious! Pets will continue to eat even with their teeth forming abscesses. The infection can spread through their body, including to their heart. Removing rotten teeth is the kindest thing you can do for your pets as they age, especially if you haven't been proactive in preventing periodontal disease. They can still eat even with full mouth extractions, and will be /so/ much happier! People often tell me how their pet seems younger again after their rotten teeth are extracted."
"Edit: To add - regular checkups are very important! At least annually. People often come in saying 'my dog is so healthy he hasn't been to a vet in years.' After looking at the dog I can usually find a few major issues that should have been addressed years ago."
Keep A Healthy Diet
"Not let them get overweight. Get their nails trimmed regularly. - licensed vet tech."
Active Nose
"One of the best things for a dog is sniffing! You can crumple up paper and hide treats in the pieces and scatter them about, toss treats into long grass, or just let your dog really take the time to explore a new area! Anything that gets that nose going is a good place to start :)"
These veterinarians gave detailed points about how to take better care of your pets.
Make Them Members Of The Family
"I am a veterinarian. I'd like to see people focus not just on quantity but quality of their pet's life. The best thing you can do for that is just incorporate them into your life as much as possible. Pay attention to them! Love them! Lots of walks! Lots of games! You'd be surprised what they can learn. Play hide and go seek. Play fetch. Sit beside them when you watch TV, pet them. Train and socialize them early and well so you won't avoid them because they're not well behaved."
"We're all so busy, it's so easy to make them an afterthought. You are their whole world and unless you live on a big farm where they run free, you are their only outlet for activity and happiness. They get bored fast, just like we do. They can't wait for you to get home. They've missed you! Take them for a walk. Do a fun training or agility class with them if you'd like."
"For health, the biggest things are 1. Exercise, 2. Pay attention to what can be dangerous/toxic for them and avoid it (heads stuck in potato chip bags is one people miss lately, and keep your drugs out of their reach! They're small and more easily affected), 3. Brush their teeth."
"Enjoy your pets! They love you!"
Overall, "Be Nice"
"Vet here. Here's my best advice, condensed."
- "Thin pets live longer than fat pets. Google a BCS chart and make sure your pet has a visible waist and palpable ribs. No crash diets."
- "Dental disease is WAY more serious than you think. Get the scale and polish. If we have to extract teeth (and believe me, we would prefer not to), they will still be able to eat."
- "Get your pet a series of cartrophen (or zydax, or pentosan polysulfate) injections when they turn 8. They help slow down the progression of arthritis and are safe and cost-effective."
- "If your cat is stressed at the vet, take home some gabapentin to put on her food before her next visit. She will be safe, happy, and calm, and the vet will be able to examine her more thoroughly."
- "Know what's toxic for your pet. DEFINITELY don't have lilies in the house if you have a cat."
- "Discuss finances. Your vet wants what's best for your pet, and is obligated to recommend all your best options....but if you tell us what you can afford we can usually come up with a reasonable plan."
- "You deserve a vet you trust. If you don't trust yours, find one that you do."
8 ) "Put your 24-hour ER vet's address into your google maps/GPS favorites so you don't have to find it in an emergency."
9) "High-quality kibble is fine unless your vet tells you otherwise. Don't feed a dog a grain-free diet unless YOUR vet tells you to (like for an allergy)."
10) "You can almost definitely give your cat a pill. Ask us for tricks."
11) "BE NICE. We are human and we all care INTENSELY. Even if we hate YOU, we probably love your pet."I've never had a pet growing up, but I've always known someday I would get a dog.
Seeing other pets always makes me happy. And while I know being a pet owner takes a lot of work and dedication, I have a feeling that wouldn't be a problem.
After all, they are a member of the family.
But when the time comes when I become a dog dad for the first time, I'll definitely be keeping these helpful suggestions in mind to ensure my new best friend will be a happy pet.
My one dog, Juliet, is the worst. She will actually scratch at my leg and then when I turn to say "WHAT?" she will dramatically, a la Scarlett O'Hara, twist and throw herself to the floor. I can actually feel the vapors. Like really girl? Who else knows what I'm talking about?
Head First
Happy John Oliver GIF by Last Week Tonight with John OliverGiphyMy dog head butts me in the leg. She walks over, and head butts my leg. Then she holds her head against my leg and won't move until I scratch behind her ears long enough to please her majesty.
Cornered
My cat learned pretty quickly that if he messes with the papers on the counter, he gets attention. It's negative attention, but he gets it and apparently loves it because he'll sit down and get comfortable and just start flipping his paw through it like it's his paperwork. If I ignore that he escalates to biting off corners. He knows that'll get me every time.
Poop Gifts
Our dog bring us toys when she needs to go potty. And when you let her outside to the deck you have to tell her to go down to the grass, or she'll forget why she's outside and sit at the door. Smart.
Fighting Fur
Mine attacks my other cat. He knows if he does that I have to get up to break it up. I don't know how to break this cycle. If I ignore it, he gets frustrated and takes it out even worse on the other cat. People are like "Just ignore him", but I don't really want a full blown cat fight happening, fur all over my apartment, and my other cat being beaten up because my first cat is a jerk (who is currently curled up, sleeping contentedly against my leg).
Gnawing
guinea pig eating GIFGiphyGuinea pig grips the cage door with her teeth, shaking it so loud it sounds like an old washing machine on spin cycle.
See, these fools know what they're doing. My other dog, Rocco, he will stare at me. I mean like serial killer, no blinking, stare me down dead. Then every few minutes lick one lip. Just one. He's a bit much. Just like that guinea pig. Moving on...
Creepy Cat
Cat Ear GIF by swerkGiphyMy cat has found that licking my lips wakes me up pretty quickly.
Mine too! I don't mind the kisses though. I just give him the attention he wants. My fiancé says, he gets on my pillow during the night and stares at me. And he'll do that all through the night. He must get enough of me sleeping and can't wait a moment longer. Once I'm awake he will come near me and raise a paw to let me know he wants attention. Such a little gentleman.
The Mat
My new cat started scratching at my standing mat in my home office (NO!!!) so the second she scratched at the wood bridge I put in the kitchen to link the top of the cabinets for her, I gave her treats. I continue to reward her for scratching there, even if it's just attention. She will escalate to scratching at other things up there but none of it matters so I just give her attention for that. She has not touched the mat since so I guess it worked.
RESET
Oh No Facepalm GIFGiphyMy cat thinks she can "reset" the affection/attention levels by leaving and reentering the room.
If I leave my cat alone for a while, she'll eventually leave... only to come right back a few minutes later, pretending like it's the first time that day that she's seen me.
Funny thing is it works.
Popcorning?
Oh, I have 2 guinea pigs and they get my attention by flipping over their igloos, then popcorning on them.
I had to look up what popcorning was. Oh my god that's adorable!!
Tip: when you look up something, share it here.
Popcorning is the name for those crazy leaps your guinea pig does in the air, and there's a reason for it. If your little piggy is bucking, squealing, and just generally acting crazy, then you're probably looking at a popcorning guinea pig.
McUluld
"The Attention Spot"
White Dog GIFGiphyThe way our living area is set up, we have a short couch in front of our computers with a dog bed at armrest-height next to my partner. It's really only a big enough space for one dog.
We have a collie mix and a gshep mix. When the collie has decided the gshep has been in "The Attention Spot" for too long, he will run to the front door, bark a "Mailman is Here" alarm, and the gshep will run to the assigned Barking Position at the guest bedroom window.
Then the collie will casually claim The Attention Spot while the gshep frantically barks at nothing.
Clever little menace.
Little Noises
I stopped working in 2019 for health reasons, and my cat has gotten used to me being home every day. When she wakes up, she squeaks/yowls at me until I follow her to the couch, where I have to sit down and put a blanket on my lap so she can curl up and get her morning pets. She's got me trained pretty well.
I'm glad I'm not alone. But regardless of their suspicious actions, we'll never stop loving them and trying to vie for their attentions. Maybe not my cat. She likes to jump, from and to everywhere, and it freaks me out. I prefer she stay upstairs. LOL...
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Aurora isn't the only cute animal out there. So many pets outdo themselves every day with how adorable they are. Here are a few stories from the pet owners of Reddit.
U/clickstorm7 asked: What's the cutest thing your pet has done?
Always gotta start with the pups. Doggos are almost always huge hams, and always make for great stories.
Boop!
My brother's dog was laying in the stairs yesterday. My parent's stairs have a gap in the railing bars. Big enough to stick my face through.
So as I was walking by I stuck my face in to talk to the dog.
He ever so gingerly bopped me in the nose with his nose. Too cute.
They’re such funny sleepers.
Sleepy Family GIFGiphyMy dog has a funny bedtime ritual; he has to circle my laundry rack three times before we go to bed at night, and then he grabs his stuffy, lays on the bed with it and makes little weird soft screamy noises at it, then holds it in his mouth and kneads the bed like a cat making biscuits, huffing softly until he falls asleep. I have no idea why this is required but it is.
Edit: I also had a foster dog for a while. My other dog got a multipack of 15 antler chews, and foster dog took them upstairs to my bed one by one and stuffed them under the covers, and the sound of getting into bed was like a medieval ossuary.
Creeper pupper.
My schnauzer 100% reacts to and can emulate laughing. My wolfhounds can't. They can play, they can indicate play, they can show submission, but my schnauzer 100% understands laughter. She knows how to encourage it, how to react to it, and that it's a positive thing.
I’m a cat person, so I’m really excited to share these cat stories.
A good big brother.
I have three cats and the oldest one is a very grumpy old man sometimes. He doesn't like change. I was genuinely worried how he was going to adjust to us bringing home newborn twins. But from day one those have been his babies.
They're 8 months old now. This cat has tried to push them in their swings when they were crying, he snuggles up next to them when they're fussy, and he'll even encourage them to use him as a bottle prop so their hands are free to grab at him despite their not yet having any idea of the concept of "gentle".
I love old man cats.
cat lady pet GIFGiphyHe purrs. Like all the time.
He's an old man now so he doesn't move around much. Since I started working from home, he just sits on my bed and purrs while he watches me at my desk.
He'll gets extra excited and start wheezing when I get close or pick him up because he's purring so loud.
But the cutest? Before he takes a nap he'll curl into a fluffy purring ball, then let out a single sigh before closing his eyes and going to sleep.
EDIT: He's purring in his sleep right now. It's going in and out because he's snoring. The cuteness. I can't.
Sweet baby.
My cat (then a very tiny kitten--he was a rescue from the yard and we never found mom) laid on my face after my wisdom tooth surgery and batted my husband away every time he tried to get close. They've worked out their differences now that he's not a baby anymore and my husband is his "day" person and I'm his "night" person.
What’s a nice hat.
My cat likes to sleep directly on my pillow right above my head. Like a cat toupee. I guess we keep each other warm that way, but I like waking up and seeing his little nose. He's super affectionate and I'm lucky to have him.
Although cuteness does exist in all animals. They’re all perfect in every way.
Snakes can boop too!!!
snake GIFGiphyMy son has an 8-month-old corn snake. When we pick her up, she likes to stretch out and bump her nose against human noses. My daughter calls that a "snakey nose boop."
Awwwww.
I have a green cheek conure (type of small parrot for those who don't know). He can speak quite a bit. "I love you." "What's that?" "Peekaboo!" "It's okay." "No." "Time to go to bed." and "Wanna take a bath" among other phrases.
One night I woke up probably near 1 am because he had a nightmare (I assume?) and started screaming. I opened the cage, picked him up, and put him on my shoulder. I started scritching his head and whispering "it's okay."
After a moment of silence, he said in the most tender voice: "I love you."
If y'all need a bird tax, I have some videos of him in my post history.
Give the girl some gummy sharks!!!
Try to steal my candy. One day I was sitting down playing video games while munching on some gummy sharks. My iguana jumps on my lap and starts eating them. I let her have half of one, but none after that. She wasn't happy with that, and chased me around while I found a place to hide them where she couldn't get into.
One thing is for sure- humanity is blessed to have pets, and we definitely don’t deserve them.
A good older sibling.
kitty kitten GIFGiphyI brought home a blind kitten. When I let him out of quarantine, my older cat walked side by side with him around the perimeter of my home. I'm pretty sure Gabey was showing the kitten the layout of the house.
Ashley is a good kitty.
My kitty will demand a treat and then when I'm about to go down stairs; she will lay on the stairs, wagging her tail, making little meow noises and will only move if you say, "Ashley treat?"
She will also go and lay across our shoes when she knows we are leaving for a bit.
My favourite is when she attacks my fiancé wrapping her legs around him and pretends to scratch and bite him, but her claws never come out and she never actually bites. She is very protective of him and will "guard" him when someone is in the condo fixing something, usually growling. I laugh because he is 6'6 290lbs of muscle and a 10lb kitty is all "dont you touch my HOOMAN!!"
Cats always know.
My son must have been about 2 and was sick for a couple says, nothing serious but he had a fever. He fell asleep on the couch, and my (then) 13-year-old cat cuddled up right beside him and started purring. She stayed there until he woke up a few hours later. It's like she knew he didn't feel good and was trying to make it better.
What a sweet, trusting pup.
2 Chainz Dog GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphyMy dog trust falls. I've had her since she was a puppy and have held her a lot and never dropped her. Now she's 50 pounds and reaches up for me to pick her up and will fall backward onto me so I rub her belly.
Congrats, you now speak cat.
My cat was 17 and geriatric. She had a lot of experience being a cat and was spoiled. She got whatever she asked for. My bathroom door and my bedroom door share the same corner basically. I laid down some pest repellent and had to keep her out of the room for a while.
I was standing at the toilet taking a leak when she walks up to the bedroom door, looked at me until I looked at her, and nose booped the door asking me to open it. I tried to explain to her I couldn't let her in, but she didn't know English. She tried and tried, but I wouldn't open the door.
This cat.. I swear.. she walks into the bathroom and walks over to the laundry hamper sitting against the wall. She stands there and stares at the wall for a second, Then she looks at me to make sure I'm looking. And she nose boops the hamper where it meets the wall, then looks at me. I stand there puzzled and ask her "What are you doing? What do you want?" So she boops it again. Eventually I just pull the hamper out away from the wall to make a space. She squeezes through the space, comes out the other side, and walks directly back to the bedroom door without pause and nose boops the door again.
This cat just communicated to me. She established a signal with me as a means of communicating, then used it to communicate.
As for Aurora, the cutest thing I see her do is hang out with our two corn snakes. She'll sit on top of the cage and watch them all day long. I mean, she probably wants to eat them, but we ignore that.
Give your pets a hug today!!! They're the best.