Secrets and silence tend to be wonderful places for pain to fester - but sometimes you just don't have anyone in your life who you feel like you can tell without burdening them, causing a whole big thing, or being forced to defend your stance as valid.
Honestly - sometimes the best thing you can do is turn to strangers on the internet. One Reddit user asked:
and WOW. Multiple people thanked the poster because they hadn't realized just how much they needed to vent some heavy stuff. And things get heavy indeed.
Alone With My Memories
My wife passed away recently and today is our anniversary. I've told people not to bother me today because I want to look at pictures, listen to music we both enjoyed, and get drunk.
One of her friends has called me 7 times today and I got really short with her at call #2. I turned my phone off. Some people just don't get it. I'm not depressed, I just want to have a private day with the memories of my beautiful lady.
Rememberingeliminate round table GIF by DiscipleGiphy
I'm finally starting to recall various traumatic incidents from my childhood, which I had repressed for years apparently, and am TERRIFIED to start EMDR therapy because I don't want to relive those moments.
Without going into too many details, I had a similar experience. I'm 22 and about a year and a half ago I had repressed memories of childhood abuse from as far back as 9 years old dredged up. It's incredibly scary to actually dig through them in therapy, but I will say it gets better and it has to hurt a little worse before you can start to let go. Sending hugs, and please reach out if you need a listening ear!
My estranged mother has sent me emails that she is going to harm herself on my birthday and that I don't love her. I can't keep contact with her because I don't have the capacity to handle her mental illness and don't want to fear if she will try to strangle me again. It still hurts to read those emails because I gave up so much to take care of her and my little sister.
I haven't talked to my mom in a little over a year now. The emails are the only thing she can send me, but I never respond to them. I will continue not responding to them. My birthday is in 5 days so will know soon enough.
But on the bright side my sister is actually doing really well. A lot happier now that our mom is out of the picture. She's finishing high school and working to save money for her future!
Ever since my early teens I've been in an imaginary relationship with a famous popstar. It's not a continuous one, I make up several different stories. When I have real life crushes he moves to the background but I've been unlucky in love so he always comes back. And I'm kind of afraid I'm a bit crazy.
I'm in my mid 30s, you'd think I know better. I'm just lonely and want to be loved but my real life crushes always end in misery and this imaginary man who could do so much better gives me imaginary time and attention. Made a throwaway to share this cause I'm really ashamed of it. I do function normally in day to day life, apart from this I'm really normal.
This sounds a lot like Maladaptive Daydreaming to me. It's something I do too, and it's frustrating; I've read that it's not uncommon for people who had early life trauma, as a coping mechanism.
You're not crazy. We are social creatures- loneliness can be crippling. I would talk to a professional, who can help you learn new, healthier ways to cope as well as deal with the underlying issues.
There is this woman I met over an app, we've been talking for two months now, everyday. We have pleasant conversations, we slowly get to know each other, we take our time, we don't rush. From day one, I settled my mind on NOT expecting anything out of this, just in case it goes south.
Thing is, I ended up developing affection for her, whether I like it or not. I want to meet her, we're only two hours apart, so it ain't that far. I want to know her more. While our conversations are fun, interesting and lovely, we didn't share personal information (and I'm glad) so I have no clue where she's at.
I don't know how she feels about me, us, is she expecting anything? Does she want to meet me as well? Is she waiting for me to propose anything or is she just not that interested? I ask myself these questions more and more often.
Anyway, I keep cool and just enjoy our messages. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable in any way, so I take things slowly and I'll see. I really like her, and I'm happy we talk this much!
I don't need any advice (I'll figure things out on my own), this is just something I've been thinking about these past few days. First time ever telling it. It feels nice! Thanks pal for this post 😌
A Risk For Dad
My dad is slowly dying of calciphylaxis and I'm supposed to fly down late October to visit him and my family but I am so scared to travel in an airplane and be anywhere near him. I'm afraid of getting sick, I'm even more afraid that I'll somehow get him sick. I haven't physically seen my parents in over 8 years and I do want to see them but I feel the risk isn't worth it. I don't know what to do.
Go Me!we did it yes GIFGiphy
Hi, introverted don't-give-me-all-the-attention person here. Today I'm gonna scream and shout and make everyone pay attention to this: I AM PROUD OF ME!
I quit my retail job of 10+ years about 1.5 months ago because the work environment was increasingly toxic and unsafe; because I had to hold fast to my work ethic. I have multiple mental health diagnoses, most significant of which is adjustment disorder (I don't publicly disclose these in professional environments) which make it difficult for me to stand up for myself and question authority. It was the scariest thing I've ever done for myself, handing over a letter of notice to that current particular boss and to end such a long tenure at my "first job" since I was 16 years old.
Two days after my resignation, I was offered a better job than I could have ever anticipated. It'll help me get to where I want to go with school and I can hopefully transition into a career as a HR professional soon.
In a week, I start that new job - a contracted government job with partial benefits that gives me a stable income without direct "customer service" type interaction (a historical trigger point). I'll gain a GS rating, which means I can move up in the ranks of civil service if I so choose, and can be eligible for higher pay.
Today I'm taking a moment to be proud of me, for me. I don't usually do that. I don't usually feel proud of myself. I was scared of this change for a whole month; there's trauma attached to change for me. But, today, I'm going to breathe deeply and rejoice that I stood by my ethics and took a leap of faith by walking away from a decent income in a dead-end job that I had no doubts about doing. Today I am going to breathe deeply and treat myself with kindness and love and pride for finally putting myself, my body, my needs first. Today, I am going to begin counting down to my first day at my new job.
Selfish Laziness Meant She Couldn't Say Goodbye
My father-in-law passed away on Tuesday the 8th. His autopsy says it was a heart attack. He was 54.
Over Labor Day weekend, my wife, toddler-aged son, and I were supposed to go visit my father-in-law. He has- I guess had is more appropriate- muscular dystrophy and so because my son had a pretty bad cough (had gone to the doctor and had him checked out and it was just a little cold. Wasn't COVID.) we decided to stay home.
My wife was saddened by this decision even though we came to it together. Her father was her best friend and she has been having a tough time at work (we're both teachers) and so she really just wanted to see her dad and talk to him.
As a way to make it up to her, I told her that if she wanted to still see him, I would be willing to get our son a babysitter for a night and I would be willing to make that turnaround trip (10 hours round trip) if it meant that she got to see him. She accepted.
Sunday the 6th came and she said that she wanted to see her dad and that she wanted to take me up on my offer to make that drive. I hesitated and told her that I didn't think that that would be the best thing to do because our son's cough hadn't gotten much better and I felt like we should stay with him.
I think, though, that if I'm being honest, I think that at least on some level, I just really didn't want to make a 10-ish hour drive. And the fact that i may have let my selfish laziness stop my wife from seeing her father for one last time before he passed away is eating me up inside. Absolutely killing me. My actions potentially are what deprived her from having one last memory with him and I don't know how to handle this guilt that I feel.
She had agreed with me at that time that staying home with our son was for the best, but I have to think that she's regrettting staying home last weekend, even though she hasn't expressed this to me in any way. I am worried, though, that she blames me for not getting to see him one last time.
We just got back home from seeing my mother-in-law and on the drive home, we talked about this and she assured me that she isn't mad at me, which is relieving, but I can't help but feel this guilt in the pit of my stomach.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for from posting this, I just needed to get this out there. Thanks for reading.
How To Tell Her
I'm about to fail out of my language course and get put God knows where (military), and I dont know how to tell my wife that we most likely will spend the next 2 years apart. I could have been doing well here, but with corona online classes have killed me. I take my final in 4 weeks and I need another 4 months just to pass it.
I am stuck in a marriage with a super nice guy who has no backbone but loves me. We don't have sex anymore and I can't leave because I have no income. I am doing my very best to stay positive and work it out, but I feel absolutely trapped in this situation for a multitude of reasons.
I do love him, and he is seeing a therapist, but I also feel completely drained and exhausted from trying to make this work and enduring the same circumstances and problems that have been there from the beginning. I didn't realize how much he rode on the wings of my excitement, curiosity and interest in life. Slowly, over time, I got drained and exhausted by me being the only one providing those things.
He is a functioning alcoholic... 5-8 shots of tequila and a couple of beers every night. I say something (rarely) when it gets bad... He slows down but it creeps back. His defensiveness makes any issue all about him and I never got comfort from him - ever. I would have an issue (not even about him or us.... A death in the family, or scary health issue) and want emotional support, to which he would be cold, defensive, like if it was expected of him he wouldn't give it. Then I would have to spend hours talking him down and explaining and never got what I needed.
Bad sex. He would not do what I asked, couldn't absorb basic information about what I like or how I like to be touched, etc. He needs approval for everything he does (from cutting the grass, to making a good pot of coffee, to any little thing he does around the house, to everything, to the point if I do not say something, he will praise himself out loud over and over) and it's become a total turn off.
And I'm so scared! This is my life! I can't leave!
Because of certain health issues, I can't hold down a job. I am stuck. And I'm scared. I am 55. I want some happiness in this life! I feel like time is running out in many ways! I am doing my best, I promise! It is so hard! I want to make this work! I am trying! There. Off my chest. Thank you for this question. I really, really needed it.
Human's Best Friendhappy dog GIFGiphy
The death of our dog hit me the hardest despite how I tried to stay the calm one. It tore a hole in my heart and soul that's still healing. I realized I'm the kind of person who needs a companion be it human or animal. I do better with someone who I can support and in turn be supported by.
It has been about five years now and I am longing for a pet more then a man by my side. My dog was more supportive to me at times vs any human being was.
Changing The Certificate
The woman who lied for 3 years to our partner about the child being his has still not changed the birth certificate - 12 months after we confirmed the child is not. She wants him to pay the fees for it.
All her lies, deceit and manipulation and she STILL refuses to be accountable for the damage she has caused.
I'm a very happy and funny person on the outside but a lot of the times on the inside I'm a Rollercoaster of emotions, mostly kind of sad or just empty in general.
I started talking to a guy who really made me feel like it's okay to show him the real me. 99% sure I scared him away and now I have MORE anxiety that I'll be single forever.
Good news, I finally realized this is a real issue and I'm seeing a psychiatrist next week :) I also started telling my friends that things aren't always peachy for me
COVID and Contracts
Back in August, my contract at work was going to be extended because my team wanted me to stay on. Due to COVID, my organization recently went on a hiring freeze and contracts were no longer allowed to be extended. So here I am, looking for a new job. I've applied to maybe 10-15 so far this month and haven't heard anything back yet. I genuinely think that I am extremely good at what I do (I still have a lot to learn, but I'm pretty damn good for being new to my industry) and believe I'd be an incredible asset to any organization but I'm starting to feel a little defeated. My portfolio should speak for itself, but why haven't I heard back from anyone? Trying to remain positive, but sometimes it's really hard.
Tech, Tired, Trapped
I don't even know where to start.
I feel like a failure all of the time.
I feel like I don't deserve to be loved, or even liked for that matter.
I'm about to be 39 and I hate every aspect of my life.
I hate my job. I hate my career. I'm an IT engineer.
I'm self taught for the most part. I got a bullsh!t degree from a tech school that is no longer around. I've never really been able to afford to sit for certifications. Everyone says I'm damn good at what I do. Most of my senior engineers tell me that I'm better than they are and don't understand why I'm just an Ops Eng 1. The company treats Ops like helpdesk level 3 and its maddening.
Every time I've gotten a new job I've had to start over. The last place I was at I was a Sr. Systems Engineer, but after the merger I "... didn't fit with the companies dynamic anymore..." whatever that means. So a buddy got me in the door where I am now, but I had to start at Help Desk level 1. 4 years later I'm still doing helpdesk, but as an Ops Eng 1
I get in trouble at work for finding repetitive manual tasks, repetitive manual tasks, repetitive manual tasks, and either automating them completely or building a tool that requires a user to set up the "job" and then execute it. They have written me up 3 times now and its a final warning. 1 more and I'm gone.
I get paid way under market value.
I drive more then 100 miles a day just to get there and back.
I'm terrified of having to start over YET AGAIN somewhere else.
I just hate tech anymore.
Tech has been my love since I was 6 years old... and now I hate, loath, abhor it.
"get a job doing something else" is what people tell me. I have 20 years experience in tech. what other job could I do that would allow me to maintain even this shitty level of existence? I don't have enough experience or skills to do anything else that would require me to start at minimum wage.
I just got into a fender bender that resulted in mainly cosmetic damage to my car,, but the insurance company is saying its totaled.
Right now its OK because we have to work from home, but as soon as that ends...
I have nothing saved
I had to move back in with my mom because I cant find something I can afford. I pay her rent, but I feel like a burden.
I've lost touch with all of my "friends"
Any time I've talked to one of them recently it almost seems like its a chore for them. Like they don't want to be talking to me or dealing with me at all.
I feel this crushing weight pressing down on me ALL THE TIME
I feel guilty all time even though I have done nothing wrong.
I feel guilty that I feel so bad, and down when there are people out there with real problems.
I look at the example that was set for me of success, and I'm an absolute failure by comparison.
I see a Dr. and I'm on anti depressants. It used to work. I feel like even more of a failure because even the meds cant help me. I grew up medicated, I don't want to go back to THAT. Medicated to the point of just being a numb robot. I want to feel, but not like this.
I feel like a fraud because I keep on going like nothings wrong. I hide how I feel because I know if my mom knew she would be a nervous wreck. If other people knew how I felt Id never have any peace. The "Fake saints" would come out of the wood work pretending to give a sh!t so they can tell people they "were there for me, and look at how awesome they are for being there when noone else was". You know those people? the one that are "there for you" but somehow they make it all about them somehow?
I'm alone. All my relationships have ended with me being cheated on. I don't have any real friends. I hate my job. I cant get a job doing anything other then what I do now and hate. I'm broke. I want to be loved. I want to be happy but don't know how. I'm barely keeping my head above water. I'm so tired.
I'm just so tired.
Doesn't Feel Like Fighting
In the last two months I have been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and undergone one round of aggressive chemo. It has been a nightmare on a new level that resulted in a long stay in the hospital, a diagnosis of PTSD, and basically having my life ripped from me, turned inside out, and held at arms length away. I'm scared of the second round of chemo, know that I can't survive it if it's the same again, and just want my life back. It's a long, long battle and despite the psychological help I am getting now, I am still living in terror of this next cycle.
Things will be better, I know that they will, but this does not feel like living, or fighting. This feels like being beaten to death slowly without the means, or energy, to survive.
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A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.
Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.
There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.
No job is worth your mental and physical health.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community,
"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
"My wife and I sold the house..."
"I didn't make the switch until I was 50. Something about turning 50 sparked a change in me. I previously had high blood pressure issues and I was having stress related fights with the people I love. I started to hate myself. Something had to change."
"My wife and I sold the house in the city and moved up to the high country. I took a low-paying job with a small startup company. I wanted to make a difference (and not just make an income)."
"EVERYTHING about my life got better almost instantly. Do I miss the money? Sometimes, but not often actually. The quality of life is way more important for us. We often comment/joke about how we still feel like were on a vacation."
Congrats on the change! It sounds like you guys are much happier and healthier to boot.
"The check is smaller..."
"Yep. The check is smaller, but comparable to what I would have lost in a divorce in a couple years."
"About a 45% pay cut, but my "real" labor hours dropped from like 65 and permanent on-call status to about 35 hrs or so and after 4pm, I CANNOT BE CONTACTED... worth it. I'm genuinely happier, healthier, and family life is now GREAT instead of slowly decaying."
Congratulations on saving your marriage and family.
"I left after 30 years..."
"Had an IT job. On call 24x7x365 - never knew what situation would come up. Phone would ring and it would make my blood pressure rise. I left after 30 years as they made me part owner, but God that was stressful."
Glad you got out! 30 years is a hell of a long time.
"Although what's interesting..."
"100%. Although what’s interesting is once I didn’t hate my job I did a much better job advancing and now I make about what I did back then."
It makes sense though that you would naturally just do a better job if you aren't hating your life.
"I'd rather be broke..."
"Yes. I'd rather be broke than suicidal."
Amen to that. Glad you're still here with us.
"It has come with some sacrifices..."
"Yes. It has come with some sacrifices, like I can't do the lavish vacations or buy the super fancy cars that all my neighbors do/have, but I also get to be at home every night and weekend. I learned through a stretch of rapid ascent up the corporate ladder that I don't care about that kind of ambition and got super burned out. I'm finally healing."
Healing is necessary. It's great that you've found what's important to you.
"Money is temporary..."
"Most definitely it was. Money is temporary but the peace of mind and much better family life are everything to me."
Peace of mind? A better family life? It sounds like you won the lottery. Well done!
"I used to rake in paychecks..."
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"I took a 25% base pay-cut 4 years ago to escape a terrible situation at a terrible company. My new job was salaried, no overtime pay but also no real expectation of overtime. No regrets."
"I used to rake in paychecks that started with a $5xxx, net, with overtime but the negative effects on my health made it pointless. If you're working crazy overtime for too long, you're going to wind up in the hospital, especially if it's a high-stress job in a hostile work environment."
"I gave up the overtime, the title, and the base pay for a far better job elsewhere. To be honest, I haven't really even noticed a difference financially since I have far fewer medical expenses nowadays."
You have your health! That's huge. Kudos for escaping such a toxic work environment.
"I didn't really change companies..."
"I didn't really change companies but I had my middle management position eliminated (60+ hour weeks, stress) but was assigned to another position with about a $20k decrease. But it was 35 hour weeks, low stress, less meetings and when the day was over I was done: no after hour calls, no late nights."
"It was awesome and I ended up being glad I didn't leave for another company and another management position. I have since moved on but i wouldn't go back to a stress filled life."
That's great you were able to stay in the same company but find something right for you. I feel like a lot of people have to completely change their field to something different in order to find what works for them.
"Have since moved up..."
"I used to be a healthcare administrator for private practices. High stress, but pretty good pay. Got into IT at the very bottom. Low stress, low pay."
"Have since moved up and my pay has returned to previous levels. Some stressful days, however my worst day now is like an average day in my previous job. Most days are just fine and the good days are very good."
"I'm not high profile anymore and I don't have to wear a tie anymore. It has been worth the pain of losing 70% of my salary for several years. I sleep better and don't dread going to work everyday."
Sleeping better is the goal! Well done.
No job is worth sacrificing your health. Remember that the next time you feel like you're going to lose it and your management team isn't being supportive. You absolutely deserve better.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
There is so much we don't know about the universe.
So much, in fact, that everything there is to learn about the universe will probably never be discovered.
Mostly because the universe is constantly growing and evolving, leaving us with new things to learn about the universe literally every day.
Constantly filling our minds with uncertainty, sometimes fear, about the otherwise vast unknown.
All of this makes all facts we've discovered about the universe all the more fascinating, whether or not we have even the slightest interest in science.
"What’s the most amazing thing about the universe?"
Our Brains Are Like The Milky Way
"A single human brain has as many neurons as there are stars in the Milky Way galaxy."
"Around 100 billion."
"Source: a neuroscientist filled with useless facts about the brain."- Afferent_Input
Where Our Deep Uncertainty Comes From
"This is one I thought about recently."
"I believe that Carl Sagan said that we, sentient entities, are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
"With this in mind, when we think about the end of our universe, whether it be through a big shrink, big cooling, or what have you, we get apprehensive."
"We probably will never see this end, many of us will be dead."
"Yet, we still get a cold fear in our hearts."
"We are also a way for the cosmos to fear it's demise."- TheClassyEngineer
A Little Perspective
"If you were on a planet 65 million light years away from Earth and had a really good telescope, you could see the dinosaurs."- Swimmergentlisa simpson space GIFGiphy
What Got Us Where We Are
"That every single random event since the dawn of creation."
"The birth and death of stars, planets and galaxies, the very genesis of life has led to you being here right now to ask this question."- Jesus_marley
There's Another World Out There...
"Imagine being transported to a parallel universe that was almost identical to our own."
"Somewhere out in the vastness of that universe, there is a tiny planet."
"This much is true in both universes."
"On this planet, there is a beach, and on that beach, there is a small stone."
"Once again, both universes are alike in this regard."
"Beneath that stone, however, there are several million grains of sand, and while they are all are in precisely the same location in each universe, one of them, a tiny speck of particularly clear quartz, hewn from a larger whole millions of years before, has a single atom that is positioned a fraction of a femtometer differently than its twin in the mirror dimension."
"You may think that such an insignificant difference would label these two universes as being functionally identical, and you would be right."
"In fact, they are so similar that the multiverse has long since combined them into one reality."
"That single atom in that tiny speck of sand on that lonesome beach on a distant planet merely occupies two spaces at once, seeming to an outside observer to vibrate back and forth at a predictable rate."
"That every atom in existence seems to do the same is probably a coincidence."- RamsesThePigeonLoop Space GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
Speaks For Itself
"That it exists."- phillipsd001
The Age Old Question...
"It must be true that either it didn't exist, then it did."
"Or it has always existed."- realFraaErasmas
What Makes Our Brain Work...
"That somehow all the particles accumulated in a specific way and in specific quantities to give you conscious thought."- SphyrwaStars Glow GIF by Erica AndersonGiphy
The Inevitable End...
That whatever our problems are, big or small, it won’t matter in 1,000,000 years (worst being a nuclear war or something). - Reddit
There are countless things about the universe no one will ever know.
But mysterious and, sometimes, unsettling as it may be, there's something oddly wonderful about the unending exploration and study to learn what is out there.
And all the discoveries we have yet to make.
Romantic relationships have evolved considerably over the course of time.
Today, more and more couples who are otherwise committed to one another, in marriage or in word, have "open" relationships, where they are permitted to see other people on the side.
Also, many people are open about being in polyamorous relationships, where they might be equally committed and loving to more than one person.
Which isn't to say, however, that monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.
As many people continue to commit, body and soul, to one person and one person only.
And should one half of that couple break that commitment, it could be the effective end of that relationship.
"Monogamous Redditors: is infidelity an automatic break-up for you? why?"
Yes: What Else Are They Hiding?
"My ex-wife and high school sweetheart cheated after 3 years of marriage."
"My thoughts were summed up best by Nietzsche:"
"'I'm not upset that you lied to me'."
"I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you'."- link_up_luke
Yes: We Had An Agreement
"If you’ve agreed on monogamy and someone cheats, it’s a violation of trust and without trust in a relationship, you have nothing."
"My relationship motto is, 'if you can be stolen, they can have you'.”- MermaidandtheKraken
Yes: I Deserve Better
"Yes, is a violation of trust, and shows lack of love and respect."- Ketosheep
"It’s a massive violation of trust and complete destruction of the idea of mutual respect."- razzledazzle626
Yes: You Never Recover From The Betrayal
"Yeah, the jealousy fades fairly quick but it's the breach of trust that gets to you."
"I was able to piece together a string of lies leading back months, finding out two different friend groups knew two different stories, etc."
"After that it's hard to even look at the person without seeing a sociopath."- Thatsaclevername
"I've been cheated on, and the pain of the betrayal is the harshest I've ever felt."
"It's completely destroyed my ability to trust anyone."- otter_dragon
Yes: They Know What They're Doing
"Cheating isn’t an accident."
"It’s a choice."
"It takes effort."
"I’d never be able to trust my partner again even if I wanted to."- A_Salty_Moon
Yes: Fidelity Is A Two Way Street
"It might take me a bit to really accept it, but I refuse to give my loyalty to someone who doesn't return it."- Trashsodaz
Yes: It Only Gets Worse
"I let it happen twice."
"We broke up the second time."
"She begged me back after 4 months and 6 months later she’s being devious and shady."
"I’ll never be able to trust her."
"I wouldn’t let it happen again."
"It’s the worst feeling imaginable."- Myke_Dubs
Yes: There's Nothing Worse
"It couldn't ever go back to being a nice, loving, trusting relationship again."
"I'd be way too paranoid and ultimately, what's the point in trying to force it?"
"Cheating is the ultimate betrayal, it's a no go for me."- bigf*ckingdiamond
If people agree on an open, non-monogamous relationship, that is their decision and not for us to judge.
But people who enter into a monogamous relationship have made an agreement to commit to one another, and no one else.
And when people can't keep one agreement, it becomes hard not to wonder what other agreements they might have broken as well.
The mark of a good piece of fiction is when one feels as if they actually know the characters.
Be it a film, television series or novel, there are some beloved characters we wish were actually our friends in real life, or whom we feel as if we've actually known all our lives.
As a result, when one of these characters dies, we sometimes feel as if we've actually lost a loved one.
Sometimes finding ourselves in a state of literal grieving.
"What fictional character's death still hits you hard no matter how many times you watch it?"
Dear, Noble Artax
"I have to say the death of Artax, the boy's horse, in 'The Neverending Story'."
"Watching him sink into that swamp was pretty awful."- powderkegpitbull
Bubba of Forest Gump
"'Bubba was my best good friend'."
"'And even I know that ain't something you can find just around the corner'."
"'Bubba was going to be a shrimping boat captain, but instead, he died right there by that river in Vietnam'."- FlyingVI
Stoick The Vast
"Stoick the Vast, chief of Berk, Hiccup's father, from 'How to Train Your Dragon'."- Waldo_007how to train your dragon animation GIF by Universal KidsGiphy
The Iron Giant
"The Iron Giant."- roo719
Noble Canine Companion
"Fry’s dog from Futurama."
"Another testimony to the fact that animators can be true storytellers, who don’t always need words to get their point across."
"The changing of seasons as the dog sits and waits in front of the pizza shop."
"Waits and waits for Fry, who never returns."
"Just the absence of the dog, eventually."
"Gut wrenching."- iwokwuplikwthisAnimated GIFGiphy
"The little girl from Pan's Labyrinth."
"In fact I just started crying even thinking about it"- choppcy088
Beloved Dr. Greene
"Mark Greene on ER."
"20 years later and I've never watched that episode without bawling like a baby."- LadyGreyIcedTea
A Hero's Death
"Wally West in 'Young Justice'."
"It’s been about a decade and I’m still mad about it."- Remarkable-Duck-2306Video Game Laughing GIF by DCGiphy
A Heartbreaking Escape
"When Brooks hangs himself in 'The Shawshank Redemption'."- Horror-School-6713
As the saying goes, those we love never truly leave us.
In the case of fictional characters in film and television, however, they are literally preserved for eternity.
Paving the way for new generations to be devastated and traumatized by their deaths.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/