Secrets and silence tend to be wonderful places for pain to fester - but sometimes you just don't have anyone in your life who you feel like you can tell without burdening them, causing a whole big thing, or being forced to defend your stance as valid.
Honestly - sometimes the best thing you can do is turn to strangers on the internet. One Reddit user asked:
and WOW. Multiple people thanked the poster because they hadn't realized just how much they needed to vent some heavy stuff. And things get heavy indeed.
Alone With My Memories
My wife passed away recently and today is our anniversary. I've told people not to bother me today because I want to look at pictures, listen to music we both enjoyed, and get drunk.
One of her friends has called me 7 times today and I got really short with her at call #2. I turned my phone off. Some people just don't get it. I'm not depressed, I just want to have a private day with the memories of my beautiful lady.
Rememberingeliminate round table GIF by Disciple Giphy
I'm finally starting to recall various traumatic incidents from my childhood, which I had repressed for years apparently, and am TERRIFIED to start EMDR therapy because I don't want to relive those moments.
Without going into too many details, I had a similar experience. I'm 22 and about a year and a half ago I had repressed memories of childhood abuse from as far back as 9 years old dredged up. It's incredibly scary to actually dig through them in therapy, but I will say it gets better and it has to hurt a little worse before you can start to let go. Sending hugs, and please reach out if you need a listening ear!
My estranged mother has sent me emails that she is going to harm herself on my birthday and that I don't love her. I can't keep contact with her because I don't have the capacity to handle her mental illness and don't want to fear if she will try to strangle me again. It still hurts to read those emails because I gave up so much to take care of her and my little sister.
I haven't talked to my mom in a little over a year now. The emails are the only thing she can send me, but I never respond to them. I will continue not responding to them. My birthday is in 5 days so will know soon enough.
But on the bright side my sister is actually doing really well. A lot happier now that our mom is out of the picture. She's finishing high school and working to save money for her future!
Ever since my early teens I've been in an imaginary relationship with a famous popstar. It's not a continuous one, I make up several different stories. When I have real life crushes he moves to the background but I've been unlucky in love so he always comes back. And I'm kind of afraid I'm a bit crazy.
I'm in my mid 30s, you'd think I know better. I'm just lonely and want to be loved but my real life crushes always end in misery and this imaginary man who could do so much better gives me imaginary time and attention. Made a throwaway to share this cause I'm really ashamed of it. I do function normally in day to day life, apart from this I'm really normal.
This sounds a lot like Maladaptive Daydreaming to me. It's something I do too, and it's frustrating; I've read that it's not uncommon for people who had early life trauma, as a coping mechanism.
You're not crazy. We are social creatures- loneliness can be crippling. I would talk to a professional, who can help you learn new, healthier ways to cope as well as deal with the underlying issues.
There is this woman I met over an app, we've been talking for two months now, everyday. We have pleasant conversations, we slowly get to know each other, we take our time, we don't rush. From day one, I settled my mind on NOT expecting anything out of this, just in case it goes south.
Thing is, I ended up developing affection for her, whether I like it or not. I want to meet her, we're only two hours apart, so it ain't that far. I want to know her more. While our conversations are fun, interesting and lovely, we didn't share personal information (and I'm glad) so I have no clue where she's at.
I don't know how she feels about me, us, is she expecting anything? Does she want to meet me as well? Is she waiting for me to propose anything or is she just not that interested? I ask myself these questions more and more often.
Anyway, I keep cool and just enjoy our messages. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable in any way, so I take things slowly and I'll see. I really like her, and I'm happy we talk this much!
I don't need any advice (I'll figure things out on my own), this is just something I've been thinking about these past few days. First time ever telling it. It feels nice! Thanks pal for this post 😌
A Risk For Dad
My dad is slowly dying of calciphylaxis and I'm supposed to fly down late October to visit him and my family but I am so scared to travel in an airplane and be anywhere near him. I'm afraid of getting sick, I'm even more afraid that I'll somehow get him sick. I haven't physically seen my parents in over 8 years and I do want to see them but I feel the risk isn't worth it. I don't know what to do.
Go Me!we did it yes GIF Giphy
Hi, introverted don't-give-me-all-the-attention person here. Today I'm gonna scream and shout and make everyone pay attention to this: I AM PROUD OF ME!
I quit my retail job of 10+ years about 1.5 months ago because the work environment was increasingly toxic and unsafe; because I had to hold fast to my work ethic. I have multiple mental health diagnoses, most significant of which is adjustment disorder (I don't publicly disclose these in professional environments) which make it difficult for me to stand up for myself and question authority. It was the scariest thing I've ever done for myself, handing over a letter of notice to that current particular boss and to end such a long tenure at my "first job" since I was 16 years old.
Two days after my resignation, I was offered a better job than I could have ever anticipated. It'll help me get to where I want to go with school and I can hopefully transition into a career as a HR professional soon.
In a week, I start that new job - a contracted government job with partial benefits that gives me a stable income without direct "customer service" type interaction (a historical trigger point). I'll gain a GS rating, which means I can move up in the ranks of civil service if I so choose, and can be eligible for higher pay.
Today I'm taking a moment to be proud of me, for me. I don't usually do that. I don't usually feel proud of myself. I was scared of this change for a whole month; there's trauma attached to change for me. But, today, I'm going to breathe deeply and rejoice that I stood by my ethics and took a leap of faith by walking away from a decent income in a dead-end job that I had no doubts about doing. Today I am going to breathe deeply and treat myself with kindness and love and pride for finally putting myself, my body, my needs first. Today, I am going to begin counting down to my first day at my new job.
Selfish Laziness Meant She Couldn't Say Goodbye
My father-in-law passed away on Tuesday the 8th. His autopsy says it was a heart attack. He was 54.
Over Labor Day weekend, my wife, toddler-aged son, and I were supposed to go visit my father-in-law. He has- I guess had is more appropriate- muscular dystrophy and so because my son had a pretty bad cough (had gone to the doctor and had him checked out and it was just a little cold. Wasn't COVID.) we decided to stay home.
My wife was saddened by this decision even though we came to it together. Her father was her best friend and she has been having a tough time at work (we're both teachers) and so she really just wanted to see her dad and talk to him.
As a way to make it up to her, I told her that if she wanted to still see him, I would be willing to get our son a babysitter for a night and I would be willing to make that turnaround trip (10 hours round trip) if it meant that she got to see him. She accepted.
Sunday the 6th came and she said that she wanted to see her dad and that she wanted to take me up on my offer to make that drive. I hesitated and told her that I didn't think that that would be the best thing to do because our son's cough hadn't gotten much better and I felt like we should stay with him.
I think, though, that if I'm being honest, I think that at least on some level, I just really didn't want to make a 10-ish hour drive. And the fact that i may have let my selfish laziness stop my wife from seeing her father for one last time before he passed away is eating me up inside. Absolutely killing me. My actions potentially are what deprived her from having one last memory with him and I don't know how to handle this guilt that I feel.
She had agreed with me at that time that staying home with our son was for the best, but I have to think that she's regrettting staying home last weekend, even though she hasn't expressed this to me in any way. I am worried, though, that she blames me for not getting to see him one last time.
We just got back home from seeing my mother-in-law and on the drive home, we talked about this and she assured me that she isn't mad at me, which is relieving, but I can't help but feel this guilt in the pit of my stomach.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for from posting this, I just needed to get this out there. Thanks for reading.
How To Tell Her
I'm about to fail out of my language course and get put God knows where (military), and I dont know how to tell my wife that we most likely will spend the next 2 years apart. I could have been doing well here, but with corona online classes have killed me. I take my final in 4 weeks and I need another 4 months just to pass it.
I am stuck in a marriage with a super nice guy who has no backbone but loves me. We don't have sex anymore and I can't leave because I have no income. I am doing my very best to stay positive and work it out, but I feel absolutely trapped in this situation for a multitude of reasons.
I do love him, and he is seeing a therapist, but I also feel completely drained and exhausted from trying to make this work and enduring the same circumstances and problems that have been there from the beginning. I didn't realize how much he rode on the wings of my excitement, curiosity and interest in life. Slowly, over time, I got drained and exhausted by me being the only one providing those things.
He is a functioning alcoholic... 5-8 shots of tequila and a couple of beers every night. I say something (rarely) when it gets bad... He slows down but it creeps back. His defensiveness makes any issue all about him and I never got comfort from him - ever. I would have an issue (not even about him or us.... A death in the family, or scary health issue) and want emotional support, to which he would be cold, defensive, like if it was expected of him he wouldn't give it. Then I would have to spend hours talking him down and explaining and never got what I needed.
Bad sex. He would not do what I asked, couldn't absorb basic information about what I like or how I like to be touched, etc. He needs approval for everything he does (from cutting the grass, to making a good pot of coffee, to any little thing he does around the house, to everything, to the point if I do not say something, he will praise himself out loud over and over) and it's become a total turn off.
And I'm so scared! This is my life! I can't leave!
Because of certain health issues, I can't hold down a job. I am stuck. And I'm scared. I am 55. I want some happiness in this life! I feel like time is running out in many ways! I am doing my best, I promise! It is so hard! I want to make this work! I am trying! There. Off my chest. Thank you for this question. I really, really needed it.
Human's Best Friendhappy dog GIF Giphy
The death of our dog hit me the hardest despite how I tried to stay the calm one. It tore a hole in my heart and soul that's still healing. I realized I'm the kind of person who needs a companion be it human or animal. I do better with someone who I can support and in turn be supported by.
It has been about five years now and I am longing for a pet more then a man by my side. My dog was more supportive to me at times vs any human being was.
Changing The Certificate
The woman who lied for 3 years to our partner about the child being his has still not changed the birth certificate - 12 months after we confirmed the child is not. She wants him to pay the fees for it.
All her lies, deceit and manipulation and she STILL refuses to be accountable for the damage she has caused.
I'm a very happy and funny person on the outside but a lot of the times on the inside I'm a Rollercoaster of emotions, mostly kind of sad or just empty in general.
I started talking to a guy who really made me feel like it's okay to show him the real me. 99% sure I scared him away and now I have MORE anxiety that I'll be single forever.
Good news, I finally realized this is a real issue and I'm seeing a psychiatrist next week :) I also started telling my friends that things aren't always peachy for me
COVID and Contracts
Back in August, my contract at work was going to be extended because my team wanted me to stay on. Due to COVID, my organization recently went on a hiring freeze and contracts were no longer allowed to be extended. So here I am, looking for a new job. I've applied to maybe 10-15 so far this month and haven't heard anything back yet. I genuinely think that I am extremely good at what I do (I still have a lot to learn, but I'm pretty damn good for being new to my industry) and believe I'd be an incredible asset to any organization but I'm starting to feel a little defeated. My portfolio should speak for itself, but why haven't I heard back from anyone? Trying to remain positive, but sometimes it's really hard.
Tech, Tired, Trapped
I don't even know where to start.
I feel like a failure all of the time.
I feel like I don't deserve to be loved, or even liked for that matter.
I'm about to be 39 and I hate every aspect of my life.
I hate my job. I hate my career. I'm an IT engineer.
I'm self taught for the most part. I got a bullsh!t degree from a tech school that is no longer around. I've never really been able to afford to sit for certifications. Everyone says I'm damn good at what I do. Most of my senior engineers tell me that I'm better than they are and don't understand why I'm just an Ops Eng 1. The company treats Ops like helpdesk level 3 and its maddening.
Every time I've gotten a new job I've had to start over. The last place I was at I was a Sr. Systems Engineer, but after the merger I "... didn't fit with the companies dynamic anymore..." whatever that means. So a buddy got me in the door where I am now, but I had to start at Help Desk level 1. 4 years later I'm still doing helpdesk, but as an Ops Eng 1
I get in trouble at work for finding repetitive manual tasks, repetitive manual tasks, repetitive manual tasks, and either automating them completely or building a tool that requires a user to set up the "job" and then execute it. They have written me up 3 times now and its a final warning. 1 more and I'm gone.
I get paid way under market value.
I drive more then 100 miles a day just to get there and back.
I'm terrified of having to start over YET AGAIN somewhere else.
I just hate tech anymore.
Tech has been my love since I was 6 years old... and now I hate, loath, abhor it.
"get a job doing something else" is what people tell me. I have 20 years experience in tech. what other job could I do that would allow me to maintain even this shitty level of existence? I don't have enough experience or skills to do anything else that would require me to start at minimum wage.
I just got into a fender bender that resulted in mainly cosmetic damage to my car,, but the insurance company is saying its totaled.
Right now its OK because we have to work from home, but as soon as that ends...
I have nothing saved
I had to move back in with my mom because I cant find something I can afford. I pay her rent, but I feel like a burden.
I've lost touch with all of my "friends"
Any time I've talked to one of them recently it almost seems like its a chore for them. Like they don't want to be talking to me or dealing with me at all.
I feel this crushing weight pressing down on me ALL THE TIME
I feel guilty all time even though I have done nothing wrong.
I feel guilty that I feel so bad, and down when there are people out there with real problems.
I look at the example that was set for me of success, and I'm an absolute failure by comparison.
I see a Dr. and I'm on anti depressants. It used to work. I feel like even more of a failure because even the meds cant help me. I grew up medicated, I don't want to go back to THAT. Medicated to the point of just being a numb robot. I want to feel, but not like this.
I feel like a fraud because I keep on going like nothings wrong. I hide how I feel because I know if my mom knew she would be a nervous wreck. If other people knew how I felt Id never have any peace. The "Fake saints" would come out of the wood work pretending to give a sh!t so they can tell people they "were there for me, and look at how awesome they are for being there when noone else was". You know those people? the one that are "there for you" but somehow they make it all about them somehow?
I'm alone. All my relationships have ended with me being cheated on. I don't have any real friends. I hate my job. I cant get a job doing anything other then what I do now and hate. I'm broke. I want to be loved. I want to be happy but don't know how. I'm barely keeping my head above water. I'm so tired.
I'm just so tired.
Doesn't Feel Like Fighting
In the last two months I have been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and undergone one round of aggressive chemo. It has been a nightmare on a new level that resulted in a long stay in the hospital, a diagnosis of PTSD, and basically having my life ripped from me, turned inside out, and held at arms length away. I'm scared of the second round of chemo, know that I can't survive it if it's the same again, and just want my life back. It's a long, long battle and despite the psychological help I am getting now, I am still living in terror of this next cycle.
Things will be better, I know that they will, but this does not feel like living, or fighting. This feels like being beaten to death slowly without the means, or energy, to survive.
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Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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