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People Describe Which Items Were Sold On The Black Market In Their School

People Describe Which Items Were Sold On The Black Market In Their School
Photo by Aedrian on Unsplash

Among many other things, the high school hallway is a Wild West of sorts.

Just one stroll down that locker flanked tube of chaos gives one the sense that all the dynamics of human development are on full display.

Aside from the status-mongering and short-sighted romances there is one major variable: breaking the rules, testing limits.

That anti-establishment energy often takes the form of contraband—namely, the sale of contraband.


But contraband is in the eye of the beholder. So high school kids sell anything and everything, all proudly touting the illegality of the item as it's strongest asset.

A Reddit thread pulled together all the strangest—and smartest—high school rackets

Turtleking23578YT asked, "What was the black market in your school?"

Create Demand

"In high school there was this game/fad where people would try to stealth zip tie other people's bags to their desks, shoes together, whatever so they'd be stuck when the bell rang."

"One guy sold the heavy duty zip ties and another sold mini scissors for easy escape."

-- Ayy11

Give the People What They Want

"In my ninth grade English class, there was this kid who would bring soda and Poptarts to class and sell them. We weren't allowed to eat in class, so I had to eat my chocolate fudge Poptarts discreetly."

"Eventually, the teacher put a stop to it, but it was a good run while it lasted."

-- snarkasm_0228

Economics On Display

"Energy drinks in middle school. There were two kids who just happen to have parents who owned liquor stores in the town. One kid started taking stuff from their parent's supply, and selling it out of his backpack."

"Other kid caught wind of it and figured he should get into the game too. Honestly, the other kid finding out was the best thing for me because the market adjusted just like it should have."

"Kid 1 was selling warm monster energy drinks for $5. New kid came in and sold em for $4. Kid one came back with 3.50 and they were like kinda cold lol. Eventually they both got caught and got in trouble but I took advantage while they were around."

-- lineman77

It’s All About Branding

"I literally sold stretched-out, dried baby wipes for two quarters apiece. Baby wipes get super soft when they're dry (or at least that brand did) and my classmates were fascinated. I claimed to have sewn these mini blankets myself."

"It worked for the entirety of third grade before I got called out and canceled in fourth. /:"

-- bloodfields

A Barter Economy

"Wasn't really a black market but people would offer service for things. Not many people liked giving money so here's how it would go:"

"'Dude, can you get me a can of dip and some booze? I will come to your farm (or ranch) to work for it.'"

"'Sure. Just come and feed the cattle Saturday morning and it's yours.'"

-- Aqetor

Must Have Been Some Sandwich 

"There was a kid who gave away sandwiches for free, but the school stopped him because he was "'creating a gang culture.'" -- THACC-

"Jeeze what kind of sandwiches was he giving away." -- Redhoodgothamknight

"Obviously 'gang culture' at it's finest. Lunch ladies had pp&j with grape jelly, the kid had pp&j with strawberry jelly. Boom" -- thatmomthere

Serial Entrepreneurs

"Me and my friend had several "get rich quick" schemes that never paid of. A few that come to mind:"

"We got the idea of breeding my and his dog to get puppies and sell them. So he brought his dog over and we locked them in my room to get the deed going. After about 30 minutes we got talking and realized both our dogs where castrated, and males... So we dropped that plan."

"Second plan was when my older brother got a surround hi-fi stereo in his room (this was 1999 so that was still somewhat uncommon). Me and my buddy charged a fee for people to come and watch movies 'cinema style' at my house."

"Third: When we found a dildo in the room of my friend's mother we charged a fee for people to come and see his mom's dildo."

-- Lick_my_balloon-knot

Tiny Things

"When I was in grade school I started making mini clothes out of fleece and sewing them on my Hello Kitty sewing machine. I charged like a quarter for each outfit but it very quickly became an issue with people trying to steal my supplies and others not being able to purchase the clothes."

"It got shut down and I had to low key sell the clothes at recess."

-- caseoats

A Monopoly in Movement

"Aside from the actual illicit things like drugs and smokes, we had basically a forerunner to Uber eats."

"Seniors who were allowed to leave during lunch break and had a car would go pick up lunch some place for a fee. This was especially good if you had a free period before lunch as you could run out, grab the food and the customer had hot lunch from wherever at the start of lunch period."

-- The_Phantom_W

Paper Currency

"Funny story, back in grade school we had these 'caught being good' paper passes that teachers gave you on rare occasions. They would give them to kids and put it in a raffle at the end of the month for a gift or something."

"Me and my friends got someone to let us see it. We printed out a bunch of them and started to sell them 5 bucks a piece. Sooner or later, all the teachers and our principal got suspicious when all the bad kids started turning these passes in."

"So we decided to end our scam by it's printing out 200 passes and handing them out randomly. We passed them around to so many people that we could never be traced. It was basically hyperinflation."

"The passes were being circulated around so much that the school ended up discontinuing the reward program."

-- bigboyyerrme

"There was a kid..."

There was a kid that that ran a whole server network and put it on a USB it auto deleted school files like block sites so you could do whatever you wanted on the computers but it also auto installed Minecraft and Roblox I just made USB copy's of it at one point I had like 800 of them but the kid shut it down cause he was expelled so I just asked him if I could bye one of the old servers he said yeah I sold the USBs for 50$ a piece I also upgraded the soft ware to auto create personal accounts.

sodadude19

"The school tried to crackdown..."

I really never had a black market but there was a free student led market for undercutting the school market. the market was and still is in operation, you could find candy, programs, supplies etc.

The way it worked is that the market was always active and lets say there was a fundraiser, we would by candy or whatever product we had to sell and flood the market by offering our products at lower prices.

Me in the market, I was the guy for graphing calculator programs and if you wanted some software that's fine come to me, want my text based operating system (I actually made a custom OS with directories and stuff believe it or not), you want a custom program, 5 bucks and you will have that. That and I was the lawyer for the vendors if the teachers tried to pull any maneuvers against us, and I was a market advisor. it was really complex with our hierarchical system and with me being in the group of people who controlled things I was in there.

The teachers tried to guilt us by saying that were making the school poorer, (we were a modest school with a computer lab and stuff), and we responded with, this is a capitalist nation, eat or be eaten, etc.

The school tried to crackdown but we could in a matter of days or hours sidestep the system.

Plutonium5678

"Someone got expelled from my school..."

Someone got expelled from my school for selling ecstasy to someone, and there was a specific place at the back of the school that all the "cool kids" would go to smoke what I'm assuming was weed. Other than that people would just pay others for stupid stuff like gum and sucky sweets like gobstoppers.

pressf50

"She would sell..."

The school librarian was our class sponsor. She would sell movie theater sized candy that was, by her rules, the only snack you could eat in her library. Needless to say, she cleaned up and we actually got our deposits back and extra spending money for our Grad Nite at Disneyland.

sfn81

"People would set up incredibly dumb deals..."

Lunch time. People would set up incredibly dumb deals for small things. I just watched as I saw one kid give away half their lunch for a pack of gummies.

howlina-the-wolf

"It worked wonders, but as humans are known to do..."

One time in 3rd grade, my teachers introduced a bead system where you earned different colored beads depending on your behavior in class and your grades and scores on tests and homework. They had numerical value like red=50pts, yellow=100pts, white=500pts, I can't recall the highest or lowest values but that's generally how it went.

It worked wonders, but as humans are known to do, we somehow formed an illegal trade considering teachers kept very loose track of who had how many points or beads. We were to keep them in our bags, so it made the "black market" very easy for us to manage and maintain.

There was an unspoken rule that snitching on someone who cheated you out was grounds to shun you from said market. Remarkably, no one let the teachers know what was really happening under their noses, though I have an inkling they might have suspected foul play.

The beads were used to buy prizes at the end of the week, like school supplies, banned snacks, small toys, and other donated things. There was a bin full of the stuff.

Some students started selling their lunches for the day. Some started bartering and borrowing and taking out loans with the goody two shoes. There was a mini market for notes, homework answers, outsourcing parts of a project kids didn't want to do to those who did (I often got art requests because I was the artsy one). There was also a high market for sugary things like candy and soda, which was banned in our school. Kids would sneak them in and sell them like drugs.

I, an autistic kid and therefore the "bad student" in the eyes of our crappy teachers, resorted to thievery, among other troublemakers in our class. The "rich" kids were careless so it made stealing very easy.

But yeah. Looking back on it, I'm baffled that we, a group of children, created like. This mini underground society. That the second they introduced this money system, the first thing we did as baby humans was go "how can I exploit this?"

Humans are incredible.

giddensite

"Another was the glue book marks..."

I remember in second grade, a hot commodity were those really long & thin erasers from the book fair, but cut up in teeny tiny pieces. I remember getting some from a friend, and our student teacher spotting them in my desk & thinking I was the one doing it.

wrteq

"A few weeks later..."

I had a science class that would take up two class periods, with a break in between periods. One time, rumor was going around that someone was hiding a can of chew tobacco above a ceiling tile in the boy's restroom right outside the science classroom, and people were accessing it during the breaks between periods. A few weeks later, administration was calling a whole bunch of kids out of the classroom, most likely because of that.

wwefanboy78

"Not exactly sure..."

There was one kid that somehow (I don't know how) managed to get dozens and dozens of those little ketchup packets every single lunch. Not exactly sure what he did with them, but I kept on seeing ketchup packets being passed around in classes. I think they were turned into currency or something.

EpicNecromancer

"My best customer..."

I was known as the "art kid" in middle school and would trade my comics and drawings with other kids for snacks, homework answers or pens ( I never asked for money because our school was too strict on that). My best customer was this guy who was known for being a huge weeb, I drew hentai and stuff like that for him.

YeetusCactus

"The teachers never caught on..."

I went to the small, alternative/special education high school in my district. The students who attended were primarily those who were what adults refer to as "problem children," even though many of them were nice kids but life had dealt them the wrong cards. Most of them were in group homes or foster care, or had been in trouble with the law. Or, like me, had a learning/mental disability and couldn't be in a standard education classroom. I have high functioning autism, bipolar disorder, and BPD.

TL:DR; Sold mechanical pencils for a quarter in protest of the worn out wood pencils the teachers had kept in their classrooms for God knows how many years. Finally got busted after a year and a half and had to shut it down.

The long version:

Most of the students didn't have their own pencils to bring to school so they were stuck using crappy ancient wooden pencils the teachers had. I'm talking worn out pencils with no eraser and/or had the lead constantly breaking off. Some of them had teeth marks or had chunks of the wood missing. I truly felt for my classmates because they would get frustrated with the quality pencils and I have a strong sense of justice and I get upset when I see injustices happening. So I came up with a solution. I wanted to help others but I also wanted to make my own "fun money" since my mom couldn't afford to give me an allowance.

I convinced my mom to buy me a cheap bulk pack of standard mechanical pencils, nothing fancy but they were a major upgrade from what my classmates had been forced to use. I then turned around and sold the pencils for 25 cents each. Mostly I was paid in quarters but sometimes I'd get dimes and nickels.

I carried around an old dice bag (small enough so it wouldn't get confiscated but big enough to hold about 10-12 bucks worth of quarters) to carry my profits in and at the end of each week I'd take the coins to a coinstar machine and cash them in for bills. I didn't make a whole lot considering I only sold them for a quarter but it was enough for me to buy my own snacks and soda because people liked the ability to write without constantly getting up to sharpen the pencil and having a real eraser. Plus if they lost the pencil they bought, a replacement was only 25 cents.

The teachers never caught on because I was sneaky about it, they never knew everyone was getting their pencils from me. I started doing it the beginning of my junior year and got busted in the middle of my senior year because a jealous freshman narced on me. Had to shut the whole operation down and from then on I wasn't allowed to have more than one pencil case on me.

Sacajaweeaboo

"In third grade..."

In third grade (around 8 years old) my boyfriend would sell his own art work. He would hang a sign on his locker door that said, "The Artist Is In,", and he'd sell his art for an quarter or so each. He continued to do this until the school told him he wasn't allowed to. One of his favorite things to draw then were dinosaurs.

SlickBlueMoon

"He'd somehow gotten access..."

My brother used to sell coffee at school. He'd somehow gotten access to an otherwise sealed off locker, had a coffeemaker and electric boiler for tea in there. At first his teachers thought it was cute, but then they had to tell him to stop because there had been a drastic decrease in sells at the canteen, so he was no longer allowed to sell food or drinks... He started selling napkins (the one the school gave out for free), where you'd get a free side of a cup of coffee or tea. The school disliked this, but he'd managed to get to a sealed off locker to store the things and had secured it with a lock of his own. They had to bring in a janitor to bust it up.

KarolinaBl

"In my elementary school..."

In my elementary school they had to ban silly bands because no one could focus on anything because Bobby had the dinosaur pack that everyone wanted.

PostChalone

"Eventually shut down..."

I led the black market. I used to sell cookies and cakes that I baked and sold them for a cheaper price than the cafeteria. The cafeteria cakes were also dry and not at all good. I actually made pretty decent money and became known as "the girl who bakes" in my entire school.

Eventually shut down due to my teachers saying that it's a "safety" issue. Turns out it was because the cafeteria was losing money. That's what I call business.

SeokjminMatcha

"There was this kid..."

There was this kid in 6th grade that got this super fluffy stuffed animal and all the girls in our classes just wanted to pet it so they would rent it with homework passes kid made massive amounts doubt he needed to do any homework but he liked to do that stuff so I don't know.

fortnitename69

"I was one of those fellas..."

I was one of those fellas who could get you anything. I honestly have no dea how I got these things though. People asked and it just magically showed up in my pockets. I miss that ability.

QuebecLimaSerra

"There was an illegal buffet..."

There was an illegal buffet in the lockers of one of the 12th graders, you could buy sandwiches, drinks and things like that cheaper than in the normal school buffet. Also my class is thinking about opening a "black market" just with books when we become 12th graders, so we can give out our used books (and maybe notes) to students below our grade for money when they haven't brought their own.

___Stephany___

"One friend of mine..."

One friend of mine used to sell pirated DVDs out of his locker for like, $10.00 each.

Considering how goddamn expensive DVDs were in those days, $10.00 was a good price.

Another friend would sell you cans of soft-drinks for $2.00 each out of his locker.

DippyCat149

"That's how we graduated..."

It was a pretty nerdy school, so we traded exams (doing exams for each other) and buying finished projects from each other. That's how we graduated with everyone doing their specialty for everyone else.

Teminite2

"My operations got busted..."

Supreme stickers. I was the main supreme sticker dealer at my middle school. My operations got busted by the guidance counselor and they took my stickers.

CCK5018

"The only kid in the entire school..."

I sold games for the TI-83 graphing calculator in middle school.

The only kid in the entire school with the data cable and know-how to use it.

GalileoGalilei2012

"I still wonder..."

Someone sold huge candy bars for money which he used to get one huge candy bar. I still wonder why he didn't just have the candy bars he bought.

Pos31d0n

"He'd take your order..."

When my older brother was in high school, a kid use to sell really nice pancakes. He'd take your order the day before and you could get whatever fillings you want like candy bars. He'd get up at like 5 AM to make them all. School found out and shut him down. He also may have been baking drugs into them.

doghome107

"In middle school..."

In middle school, I managed to make around $5 a week by selling Welch's Fruit Snacks for $1 per bag. There were around 10 people that would actually bring money to school and buy them off of me. This sadly stopped when one of my customers attempted to advertise, which resulted in one of the more annoying/strict teachers shutting down my business.

3303173

"After a month..."

There was a kid in 8th grade I think who would give out bags of ketchup chips (welcome to Canada) for $2 and if you bought 5, you would get a discount on your next one

After a month, he was caught though I'm not sure what his punishment was.

crusader11223

"My friends made hundreds..."

My friends made hundreds over a year selling sodas/chips until the office heard about it and they had to stop.

TyrannusCaesar

"Especially rare were copies of games..."

This was in the mid 90s at our magnet middle school. We all had accounts on the school's VAX server, and the game was to hoard icons.

The proper way to store them was to create a folder to display each icon and arrange them into appropriate categories. Set sharing to public visibility without write access so you could show off.

We were always trawling for new users who didn't set permissions appropriately so we could steal all of their collection, deleting or defacing what remains if feeling mean.

These were the days when access to a scanner or quality images was nontrivial. We all had some second tier stash from when we stole a moment on the school's black and white scanners to load up some greyscale trash.

Nobody paid money for icons. Access was more of a social status thing. If you had lots friends willing to share you would have a good collection.

Especially rare were copies of games people had loaded on their accounts. These were more heavily policed by the admin, as they took up a lot of precious storage. Moonbase was a favorite.

Onlyasasandwich

"They had police search my locker..."

I made $1K in profit from selling candy during my senior year of high school. They had police search my locker, and the same cop questioned a friend after seeing him give me a dollar.

FYPTTK

"I don't know if this counts..."

I don't know if this counts but it was pizza. During lunch time we weren't allowed to leave school grounds but eating in the canteen was awful (typical school stuff, noodles with tomato sauce every day, long queues no dessert and so on). It stared one day when one kid of our class, who's mom owned a local pizza restaurant, offered to order at said restaurant and let his mom deliver the food to the school. Which wasn't technically forbidden. Soon enough around 15/24 kids of our class regularly ordered pizza from him (his mom); this developed into roughly 60 people from other classes ordering food, he himself always taking a 50c "delivery fee".

Man he made a lot of money.

Soon enough the restaurant had to dive multiple times to get out all the orders, and 60 kids waiting near the entrance of the school grounds wasn't really what I would call "unsuspicious,"let alone all the garbage that was produced.

Since it wasn't technically forbidden to deliver or bring food, the school council needed to change the rules, which took 2 months... they took two months to finally put a halt to this.

The dude who started it surely got some good money out of his business, let alone his mom. They didn't offer delivery regularly.

xChrismas

"And that's how the underground..."

Silly bands. They literally got banned by the administration and if you had them in school you got in trouble and got them taken away. And that's how the underground silly band selling business got started at my school. People would like trade them in the bathrooms and playground. It was intense.

swimmermags798

People Reveal The Worst Health-Related Advice They've Ever Received

Reddit user Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked: 'What is the worst health advice you've been given?'

Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.

The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.

But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:

"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"

Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.

Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer

"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”

"turns out it was glioblastoma."

– Guy_Faux

"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."

– Frisky_Picker

Second Opinion Saves Lives

"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."

"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."

"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."

– littlemybb

Tiny Grandchild

"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."

"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."

– Emkems

Unforeseen Ailment​

"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."

– Ok_Ear_8848

These are not appropriate remedies.

That's Not How That Works

"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."

– _Puke_Bucket_

"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."

– Bos_lost_ton

Pushing Through

"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."

– BoyMonday

"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”

"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."

– pinotproblems

"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."

– slowsunslumber

"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution

"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."

"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."

– sapphireblossoms

Choking On Blood

"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."

– hypo-osmotic

"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."

– OrangeTree81

These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."

The C-Word

"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."

– REDDIT

"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."

"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."

– juniper_max

Thinking Twice About Back Pain

"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."

– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

"Yikes, I am so sorry."

"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."

"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."

"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"

"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."

– Yarr0wFeather

Vitamin D Overdose

"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."

"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."

– comfortablynumb15

As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.

Your conscience is there for a reason.

Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.

Woman speaking to an audience
Photo by Ben Moreland on Unsplash

When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.

However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.

Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:

"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"

We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...

'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410

Speaking From Experience?

"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."

"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan

Dream On...

"She said:'

"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."

"'It's been proven'."

"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"

"Ruined a favorite story of hers."

"Sorry."- FrankieMint

falling GIFGiphy

Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...

"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."

"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."

"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes

Keep Them Away From Needles...

"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."

"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"

"Ear wax."

"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure

Credit To the Visual Effects Designer

"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."

"I’ll never forget one of her claims."

“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."

"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”

"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."

"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."

"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196

Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy

In Theory... Still Wrong!

"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·

Check The Date...

"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."

"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."

"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."

"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"

"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."

"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."

"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."

"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."

"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40

Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...

"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."

"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."

"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta

The Price Of Never Looking Up!

"Pineapples aren't real."

"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki

ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!

"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."

"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."

"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves

But What Causes Cavities?

"I'm a dental hygienist."

"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."

"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus

If Only...

"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."

"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers

Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.

"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."

"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck

season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy

When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.

So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.

In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...

Picture of a pink heart tearing in two, hung off a red and white string, set against a black background
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.

Yes, you of course want to give in to love.

But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.

You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.

Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.

if you see them... run.

Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:

"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"

The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.

I need to do better.

A Big Deal

Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy

"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."

Kitchen-Bid-8235

"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."

2diceMisplaced

Hear Me!

"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."

Cranky_Windlass

"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."

ModestMustang

"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."

KindBrilliant7879

Wronged

"Never admitting a mistake."

Curious-Force5819

"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."

Zomgirlxoxo

"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"

space_being135513

Never Again

"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."

RuggedHamster

"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."

d7oomy998899

Afterthought

Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."

Mycatsnameislegolas

Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.

And know when to depart.

Behavior

Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy

"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."

REDDIT

"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."

Major-Ad148

Just Kidding

"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"

netsbr

"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."

BansheeShriek

"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."

"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."

5tr4nGe

​Well-Meaning

"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."

Throw_thethrowaway

"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"

helibear90

"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."

_5minutesalone

Boundaries

"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."

"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."

"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."

Ptatofrenchfry

Talk to Me

Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy

"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."

"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."

michajlo

Communication is key.

If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?

platypus
Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

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