Normally we go into these articles with an intro that segues into talking about the relevant article - but this is a no intro needed situation.
We all know what it's like to realize a friend isn't who or what you thought they were.
One Reddit user asked:
When did you realize your best friend, wasn't really your friend?
and honestly the amount of violence, betrayal, and scandal here is enough for even the juiciest novelas.
Read ahead with caution
Thieves
When I opened a drawer in her house and recognized my jewelry, trinkets. I looked at it all, took back my mother's ring, and left. 3 years this person stole from me. I was her only friend. I'll never understand it.
- katkre8s
I brought an expensive uncommon piece of electronics over to a friend's house. Put it in my bag, got home and it was gone. Called my "friend" literally 30m later and he swore he didn't have it.
Narrator: He did.
I get it back 6 months later broken. His story: his mom came into his room picked it up off the ground and put it in a closet that's in his room but he can't open. This would be one of his many weed related thefts.
Maid Of Honor?
jean vigo bride GIF by Maudit
Giphy
When I asked her to be my Maid of Honor.
As her response, she left the care package I made for her when she was in the hospital back on my doorstep in a box. I put together some books and coloring books for her while she was sick. All of it was there.
She also stopped returning my texts and calls.
She reached out a couple years later, and I asked why she ended the friendship the way she did, and her response was that she was just being a dick.
I guess she resented me and the relationship I had with my now husband; but instead of talking to me about how she felt, she just dumped me.
It really screwed me up and ruined how I interact with my friends now. Everyone is arms length and I don't open up at all to them. I'm constantly worried I'm a bad friend.
We're still not friends.
Oldest, Not Best
Been friends for over 20 years with someone. He always makes it a point to introduce me as his best friend.
I'm like "well... oldest friend" and I do care about him, but I would not call him my best friend. We have so little in common but that's not why we have drifted apart....he just has no understanding of me.
I'm an introvert. He's an extrovert (with low self esteem) and he thinks that people like me are sad, lonely losers who don't know how to have fun.
He bases his worth on if he is in a relationship. When we hang out all He talks about is who he is dating/sleeping with/engaged to at the moment. I'm happily single who can do without all the drama.
He lives off his dad and is stupid with money. I'm extremely independent and self reliant. He has a taste for expensive, name brand items, I like Target 🤪.
One big thing that really irritated me was when I finally bought a place of my own, instead of being happy for me, he criticizes it for being in a "ghetto"....when I bought furniture, instead of buying the expensive stuff from the high end store he worked at, I bought at a ordinary furniture place.
He once made the mistake of making fun of my taste in and I replied (with his dad sitting next to him who Has Long subsidized his life) "at least I paid for it myself"...he turned red and his dad started to giggle.
Screenshots Are Forever
When I received screenshots of a post in a social media group bashing me and saying truly horrible things.
The person who sent them was a random stranger who said they looked on my then best friend's social media account and figured the post and comments had to be about me since she called me her best friend on a lot of posts. She said that she thought I should know what she was saying about me because they were so bad and if they weren't actually about me then she was sorry for sending them.
She was posting telling the group that she always thought I was a spoiled brat, that my boyfriend (now fiance) and I were never going anywhere in life, that I was just jealous of her, and she also threw in some insults about my family as well. It was a lot more detailed and rude, but I deleted the screenshots (after I sent them to my "best friend") so I wouldn't go back and obsess over them.
I thanked the person who sent them to me and promised to keep her anonymity so the girl wouldn't get kicked out of the group. Then I sent screenshots to my "friend" and said "this friendship is over."
Her apology was basically an, "I'm sorry I got caught" apology.
She basically said "I'm sorry you saw it, I thought it was on a private group page." Nothing is private on the internet.
Then a few months ago she reached out wanting to reconnect. I considered it for a few minutes and after a small handful of texts I realized she would never understand what she did and that she truly thought I was in the wrong. Her attitude was still basically "I'm sorry I got caught," and she also said she was just stressed, upset, and ranting.
I said that the things she said were not things you should think about a friend if they're really your friend and that I didn't want to reconnect and that was that. I found it odd that she wanted to reconnect when part of the stuff she said included that her family never liked me, she always thought certain negative things about me, etc.
I considered her family like my second family; we were best friends for about 17 years.
I actually am happier without her around, though. I never noticed some of the negative aspects that she brought to the friendship until we weren't friends. So its been really good.
- gundy92
Going To The Races
My birthday was coming up and I had nobody else. It was a really low point in my life, like it was bad. She knew how bad I was doing, I asked her to hang out on my birthday.
She promised that on my birthday she'd be there for me. Gonna come over with some beers and watch movies all day so won't be alone. Good times.
I message her a couple days before, yup we're on!
I message her the day before to ask what time she's coming past and she says whenever I want.
On my birthday I message her and ask if she can come over now.
"No. I'm going to the races today."
Like, Jesus Christ... Not only are you blowing me off so coldly, but you're putting it in a way like "I could invite you to come too, but I won't."
I doubt there even were races, or she ever intended to be there for me. It hurt so bad, like a physical gut punch even though I half expected it. She would constantly do things like this specifically intended to hurt me. It's why I kept asking her leading up to the day if she really was gonna come through.
After the birthday thing though, I was lonely but not lonely enough to continue to be fucked with like that constantly.
In retrospect, I honestly think she maybe actually wanted me to hurt myself; so she could play the victim, or whatever reason she had to hate me so much. Actually I doubt she hated me. I don't think she felt anything at all for me either way, just emotionless, f**king with people for entertainment.
- user1444
Can't Stand Deadbeat Dads
When his wife caught him about to cheat. He said he'd work to fix his marriage, but instead he ended up walking out on his wife, 3yr old, and newborn.
He came to me expecting me to back him up and tell him he was right to be rid of them, but I chewed him out instead. He then came up with some bull about her being too controlling from the start of their relationship. I asked him "then why get married and have kids?"
He left their home and started seeing some other women. He still texts me sometimes about sports or something, but I can't stand deadbeat dads. He's refused to get a divorce saying he doesn't know what to do.
You left the family home 18mths ago, G. You know you're not fixing this, so man the f*ck up and get a divorce so you can all move on.
The Cabin Weekend
My 27th birthday was the one where I truly realized that none of the people that I considered my close friends actually gave a sh*t about me, and the one that I thought I was closest to was narcissistic.
I got drunk and watch sh*tty movies by myself while my Facebook feed blew up with these friends having a fun time at a weekend trip to a cabin in the mountains (that I wasn't allowed to go to because there was 'no room').
The following week, I was hanging out with the narcissistic one and that's where I found out that the organizer of the cabin trip let someone join last minute. Like, he asked if he could come on Thursday afternoon and he was in the cabin Friday evening.
I didn't say a word and I just left in tears. Everyone knew that it was my birthday that weekend and that I was really upset that I wasn't allowed to go, but no one did anything to make it up to me.
Fool Me Once...
When he blacked out and tried to murder me in my sleep. Then 5 years later when I forgave him, he attacked and robbed me in front of my house after giving me a ride home. Fool me once...
He was the best friend I've ever had in my life. We were extremely close for the vast majority of our lives.
He was very drunk and smoked an absurd amount and blacked out. 40 shots and 40 dab hits that night. This was well beyond the normal scope of smoking.
He has a history of violence. The night of the first incident, he put me in a chokehold while I was asleep. He was a psycho with a violent streak. He had no reason to be mad at me at any point that night or the surrounding period.
He just held it, talking about how easily he could kill me and that he was going to for fun. It wasn't an easy spot to get out of.
There's nothing wrong with trying to be a forgiving person towards someone you love. It took years of him begging for forgiveness for me to give him another chance and things went really well for about a year until there was another incident.
But I'm never speaking to him again now. I still wish for the best for him as he's the best friend I've ever had but I won't ever give him another chance. I got fooled twice.
Unholy And Sinful
I shared with him that I was beginning to explore some interest in guys as well as girls, and his response was completely unsupportive. He told me it was unholy and sinful to explore my sexuality, and that I had to pray about it to find guidance out of my evil temptations.
It completely destroyed the trust between us that he would push me away from discovering what I want in life. I was unable to have an open and honest relationship with him from that day onward.
The nail in the coffin came a few months later when my parents were beginning to seriously discuss a potential divorce. I went to him for advice on how to navigate the situation, as he was personally familiar with my position due to his own parents' divorce.
He pushed me away, telling me that he wouldn't help me and that I was on my own. We haven't spoken since then.
Since 2012
I realized with one of my former friends that he was nice to me, but not to other people. He treated me with lots of respect (I think its because he thought I was useful to him), yet I heard stories of him beating up other people for suspected wrongdoings against him.
Unsurprisingly, once I told him that his behaviour was out of line, he told me that our friendship was over because I was not loyal enough to him, and he also threatened me with physical violence.
As he seemed very serious about carrying out this threat, I had to be escorted to and from school by my parents or my other friends for a week or two. My head of year had to get involved and instituted disciplinary action against him.
My former friend eventually got expelled in my third year of secondary school for kicking in a glass door. He went off social media and so I didn't hear about him for years. None of my classmates kept in contact with him - I think some were only 'friends' with him out of fear.
Looking back, he treated all his 'friends' like minions, not equals - my parents told me that he ordered me around like a dog. I did see him in my local pub back in July this year, the first time I had seen him since 2012, and lets just say he had not changed one bit.
Thankfully he did not recognize me, but he nearly got kicked out for trying to hit on one of the bar staff who was clearly not interested. I quickly finished my pint and got the hell out of there.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.