I can't count how many times I've come across amount where nothing makes sense and it feels like it's by design. Like, politics... WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!! There are pratfalls ready to take us all down at every turn and they are built into the everyday moments of life. Very cheeky God. Well played.
Redditor u/NiceCasualRedditGuy wanted to compare notes about what part of the ordinary we all feel is playing tricks on everyone by asking...
Why do snakes exist? Seriously, or alligators. Someone explain it truthfully. Because what science tells us, I believe is a farce. There had to better ways to catch and take down rodents and... humans. Who thought creepy beasts that could take you out with poison or a hundred teeth sounded like fun?
Disease
hacked computer virus GIFGiphyMcafee antivirus.
Man that thing is a virus. makes a new computer feel like a 7 year old computer.
be selfish...
The "Share" button on porn sites.
LOL!!! Has anyone ever pressed one besides that government guy a few years back? Can't remember his name. Oh and asking for a friend.
Hang Up
Robocalls about your car's extended warranty.
I started messing with the callers. Acting like I'm hard of hearing, speaking broken English, getting confused and having things repeated are great time wasters. Then they take me off the list because I'm an a-hole they don't want to deal with.
Bloodsuckers...
bart simpson mosquitoes GIFGiphyMosquitos. Wasn't even that long ago that a study proved that you could wipe them all out and it would not actually negatively impact ecosystems as much as previously thought and there is now a real effort to exterminate every last one of the bloodsucking fools.
Not the X
The ads that have the X inside the ad, so that when you click to close it, it takes you to the linked site.
Honestly wtf do they think will happen "I wasn't going to download your crappy mobile game with an ad that has nothing to do with gameplay but wow you tricked me into going to your website, I think I will give it a try."
See there? Now that is what I'm saying. How do any of those things add to the greater experience of life? At least in a positive way. It all seems unnecessary unless it's about driving people crazy. Let's see what else is keeping us up at night.
lacking wisdom...
I know they weren't meant to and once had a reason to exist, but by now: Wisdom teeth.
I don't have a single wisdom tooth. My dentist said he could count on one hand how many times he came across that.
Edit: This is now my top comment. I tried replying to everyone but I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry for every one that does have complications with their wisdom teeth.
There are some real horror stories in these comments. /u/Satures was completely right saying that they do mess with us now. I have to point out /u/anarrogantbastard because this person has 8 wisdom teeth and room for all of them. Can you believe that?! There was an unfortnate soul how had 4 sets (yes 4 sets) of wisdom teeth. And finally thank you /u/dcp0002 for the award.
Stay Awake
Bedbugs. They have no ecological benefit; and target only humans, almost exclusively just when the human hosts are sleeping, armed with natural anticoagulants and painkillers for enhanced, stealthy blood-sucking. Did I mention that bedbugs normally strike only in darkness, they're nearly invisible when young, they've mastered the art of hiding, they're immune to common insecticides, and they'll wait months (more than a year in some cases) without any nourishment while patiently waiting for feeding opportunities? Doomguy has never faced an enemy with such exceptional clandestine tactics.
Shrimp Instead...
clam GIFGiphyClamshell packaging. Forget that crap.
It's doubly annoying when the item that you just bought is a pair of scissors.
Why would you package something in such a way that needs the actual same item to open it?
Poison
Cancer.
Seriously. It's not something foreign, like an animal or poorly made printers. It's the own body's system completely loosing control of cell management. Our tech and advancements in science has only touched what a cure might look like. Cancer is the only answer here.
Butt Issues
homer simpson episode 6 GIFGiphySingle ply toilet paper.
And why are there so many buttons on cars and planes that do nothing? If there is a button that has no use, lose it, it's only a distraction. And while driving and FLYING... no one should never be distracted. I forgot about those two. Food for thought.
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Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
No Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
Chris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
