Redditorcrabpinchingmyanuswanted to hear about the moments when we all begin to fall short of fidelity.
They asked:
"Redditors, where does cheating in a relationship start for you?"
You always know when it's wrong. At least I always did. That's why is called cheating.
Plotting
"The sneaking around. The second you start plotting to do something behind my back. You're violating the trust of the relationship."
Warkitz
Sheila Canning Love GIF by Neighbours (Official TV Show account)GiphyIntent
"Honestly it's about intentions more than anything. If my SO started pursuing someone romantically that's cheating - doesn't matter if it's lovey dovey texting or f**king. If my SO was at a party and a drunk person kissed him suddenly against his wishes, that's not cheating."
"At the end of the day it comes down to them wanting to be with another person and they aren't being honest about it. The polite thing to do, even though it's painful and hard and sad, is to break up. Breaking up is never crappier than cheating."
NowHeres_HumanMusic
Tests
"If you would be unwilling to tell your partner about an interaction, then it's probably time to start thinking about what you're doing."
Teafairy6767
"Yeah I think the two basic litmus tests are..."
"1- Would you tell them/do it in front of them?"
"2- Would you be okay with it if they did the same thing?"
"If the answer is yes to both, it’s probably fine. If it’s no to either, then at minimum you’re on dangerous ground."
audigex
Off Limits
"It depends on what each couple would consider to be off limits. A good guide is if you're doing something you would hide from your partner or wouldn't do it if they were in the room with you, then that's cheating. It can range from having sex with someone else, to simply flirting."
j_neutrus
Omissions
"Lies. It always starts with lies. Be it texts or snaps, if one of us have to lie or hide, it's wrong and should not happen."
notyourusuallady
A Lie Is A LieGiphyIt's always a lie in the beginning. Don't lie... it's a Commandment.
Upon Reflection
"If you wouldn't want your partner to know, it's cheating. I wouldn't flirt with someone else in front of my partner, so I don't flirt with people when he's not around either."
kellogg888
Pondering Anthony Anderson GIF by BETGiphyactions/feelings/thoughts
"As cheesy as it sounds, it starts with your motive, intention, and conscience. I think there's a clear cut difference between physical cheating and mental/emotional cheating, but it all relates to your honest motive, intention, and conscience. For example, there isn't anything inherently wrong with texting with another person if you are married or dating."
"But if you know in your heart that you are texting or engaging in conversation that makes you feel guilty or it would make your partner upset, you may be doing something wrong, even if you technically did not cheat. If at any point you are justifying your actions or defending your actions/feelings/thoughts from a technical perspective, you may be at the start of doing something wrong."
orange_cuse
That's cheating...
"Cheating starts at lying, even by omission. I am okay with private conversations, meeting people she wants to meet, going away on business trips or going out and coming back late at night. But lying to me about it or about what happened? Or simply not telling me something I don't want to hear? That's cheating."
"So..."
"'I will go out tonight, to see people you don't know and talk about things you don't care about': we are in the clear, it is fine."
"'I saw X and Y last night at their place': if I know for sure that it is not true, then there is some cheating involved."
"It only works if you are not a creep, or even jealous. There needs to be mutual trust and respect. When trust and respect are gone, the relationship is gone too."
pleasedontPM
Happy Birthday
"The intent. For me, an ex of mine that would later cheat on me started a tinder profile in which she claimed she "just wanted to find friends" and she certainly found quite a few of them. Obviously, she didn't just want friends. It could be as small as reaching out to an ex to say happy birthday, but most people have the intent to do something well before it is executed."
isnoe
The Grey
"If there’s a grey area, it’s cheating. If you know they will be upset, it’s cheating. If you have to hide it/lie/omit details. It’s cheating."
SufficientBug5598
Jennifer Aniston Friends GIFGiphyThere is never a good reason to cheat. Once you know it's starting... fess up.
RedditorBitter_Chapter1798wanted everyone to fess up about the times they were shocked by their own bad behavior.
They asked:
"What’s the worst thing you’ve done in the heat of the moment?"
This topic is an issue I can relate too. I have some bad behavior, heat of the moment issues. Clearly, we all do.
Cancelled
Sassy Over It GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"I used to go to the gym and sneak into the health suite (sauna, steam room, hot tub) without paying. Got busted and had to pay on the way out. Manager was nice and said 'look… just pay next time ok?' I said 'I won’t get caught next time.'"
"She said 'consider your membership cancelled.'"
josoap99
Ashy Thief
"Childhood friend died and I was about 20. He liked my drawings, so I wrote him a goodbye letter on the back of one of my drawings. He had been cremated, and I found myself alone in a room with the urn, so I opened it up. His ashes were in a bag, so I stuffed the drawing/letter down alongside the bag, thinking that way I could hide it from his family."
"When I did that, the bag ripped and I got his ashes all over my hands. I brushed off what I could into the urn but had to wash some of him down the sink. It was awful and I’m still guilty about it decades later."
skelly6
So close...
"My parents were tailors and they used to do a lot of work from home. They had really big, heavy metal scissors they used to use. I was very young. Under 10 for sure. My older brother did something to piss me off. I grabbed the scissor near me and threw it at him. It missed his eyes by a small fraction. He went ballistic on why would I do something like this. 25+ years later the memory still makes me sad how close I was to seriously injuring or killing my brother."
JustARandomPokemon
Window Treatment
"I didn’t do it but it happened near me. I was working construction one summer, and the 'veteran' guy working with me got into a fight with the foreman and came back to the floor we were working on all pissed off, kicking things around. We were up on the 4th floor, and windows hadn’t gone in yet. He picks up a huge level and flings it out the window, and about 5 seconds later says 'F**k! That was mine.'"
Jealous-Network-8852
Don't Throw
Scooter Yolo GIF by NOSAMGiphy"I was probably 10-12 hanging out with the neighborhood kids one being a few years younger."
"He was being annoying as hell and wouldn’t stop so after a few minutes of constant annoyance I threw my scooter at him… hitting his head. No serious injuries but he needed a few stitches. I knew I messed up the instant the scooter left my hands."
apaulo_18
Wow, people really have some behavior issues. I'm not alone.
Damn FB
motion picture thumbs up GIF by A. L. CregoGiphy"Back in college it was the first week at a new school and I was on my computer waiting for my evening class to start. Someone asked if they could use my computer to log into their student account to see where their class was."
"I let them do it and had my Facebook account open in the other tab. They updated my Facebook status to something VERY racist thinking they were funny, but forgot to close out of their school account. Once I figured out what they did (thanks to a FURIOUS phone call from my mother) I used their account to drop all of the classes they signed up for."
flyguystandingby
Said what I said...
"I was being lightly scolded by my boss, and instead of rolling with it, I got pissed and told him 'you know what, suck my d**k' and left. I was not in a financial situation to quit at the time, and regretted my decision the entire elevator ride out of there, but looking back now it's easy to say 'worth it.'"
earic23
Dig Deeper
"When I was 18 I got a job in excavation. I was learning how to dig with a trackhoe. Fast forward a year. And I’m still learning the tricks. My boss screamed at me for parking the work truck in the wrong place. Then told me either I need to learn to dig faster and better or find a new job. Well I said forget it. And I started digging fast as I could. And then, I found the freaking city water main."
letsgetnerdy95
In his face...
"I was a teenager, I was helping my family clear out our basement, sorting old clothes and toys to donate or dispose off. Me and me and my brother are horsing around when I spot an absolutely ancient water gun. I pick it up swiping away cobwebs and what do you know water is sloshing around the reservoir, so I pump it a couple times and spray my little brother directly in his face."
"He screams instantly and not the fun haha you sprayed me with water scream. The water smells like mold and death, it's left over from the last time we played with the guns which was years ago. He gets a bacterial infection in both eyes, cycles antibiotics and comes away from it whole. I catch crap about this at every family gathering and will until one of us dies."
SuicideKingsHigh
Shoot!
Judge Joe Brown GIFGiphy"Told the judge, 'Gimmie your best shot.'"
"10 added days for contempt of court."
Feels2old
Life lesson: Next time... be calm, think first.
Redditor Apart-Scalewanted to reminisce about the glory days.
They asked:
"What was normal in the 1990s but rare or non existent now?"
For me... it's Madonna having a #1 song. It can still happen, but highly unlikely.
Music
New Music Football GIF by Black PrezGiphy"A disc man plugged into a cassette tape with a wire to play music in your car."
freehi_5
Call Me
"Hotlines for the weather report, current time, and movie show times."
redacted_4_security
"The time and temperature phone number for my small hometown still exists to this day. Same Pre recorded voice and everything. It still advertises caller-id as an add on feature for land lines. Know who’s calling you. It’s easy and convenient with caller id. The time is x. Temperature y."
Bushelsoflaughs
Let's Chat
"Talking to your friends mom to see if they were home."
Espeon2022
"I've always thought that having to go through the parents to talk to your friends made things more controlled and respectful. Now kids can just blast each other with every thought that pops in their heads 24/7, that must make things more toxic."
RupFox
Fly Away
"When picking someone up from the airport, you could wait for them at their gate."
Facelesspirit
"When I have flights going through cities with people I know I will intentionally schedule a couple hour layover so I can go hand lunch with them and then just go through security again and board the next flight."
ItsEntsy
I'm Out
Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy"Being unreachable."
BTW_The_Names_Marcus
"I still do this to this day. I'll go on vacation for a week and just turn the phone off, or be far enough out in the boonies that there is no cell signal whatsoever."
libra00
I wish I could put my phone down. Who knew we'd never be without them?
Let's Fandango
Movie Theater Popcorn GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Calling the movie theater or looking in the paper for movie times."
yepitsjen22
Music Library
"Keeping a binder full of CDs in your car."
PMMeUrHopesNDreams
"I once left the door on my car unlocked and came back to find my car stereo gone but not my full 100 disc binder. The stereo had completely died 2 weeks prior and I just hadn't gotten around to swapping it out yet. I just laughed."
v1ct0r326
"My car CDs were stolen in 1998. I’m still pissed."
Whatwhyohhh
Multitasking
"Pressing play and record at the same time."
MoistnSquishy
"I don't know why but this one made me feel the saddest. I guess it just snapped me back to a moment when I was bored and had no where I had to be, no where I planned to go. My life's todo list completely empty. Just me and the weird 90's dust that seemed to float around in front of sunny windows."
bannablecommentary
"Putting tape over the security tab/square so you could record over any tape you had in your collection."
candiebelle
Dial Up
"Telephone booths."
Zen_Anarch
"I had to check for the phone booth that I used the most as a teenager (not in NYC, in the beach town where I spent my summers) and it was still there in the most recent Street View! I'll have to see if it's there now when I go by tomorrow. This was where I checked in with my parents and friends circa 1990 to see what was going on. The arcade was just down the street."
superluke
And the White?
yellow pages GIFGiphy"Yellow Pages."
zekesaltspider
"I got a phone book in my mailbox the other day. First one in years. It was about the size of a Goosebumps book."
dragon_book_hoarder
Well those were the days. Weren't they?
Redditor Common-Transition973 wanted to compare notes on everyone's thoughts about the Lonestar state.
They asked:
"Non Texans , what are your thoughts when you hear 'Texas?'"
I've been to Texas once. Austin. It was cute.
Shaped
"Literally just the shape of the state itself as seen from a map or something."
BirbMaster1998
All Love Baby
"I’ve been through Texas a few times and the thing that stood out to me was how much people in Texas love talking about how much they love Texas. I had a beer at the Dallas airport when I was waiting for a friends plane and it was a Budweiser bottle but instead of Budweiser the label said Texas on it."
"Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks."
Giphy"I’ve always found New Yorkers to be obnoxious with how much they talk about how much better they are than everyone else, but Texas is actually on another level. So, I guess when I think of Texas, I think of a bunch of people yelling 'I f**kin' love Texas'."
duh_metrius
BBQ
"Barbecue, don’t get me wrong we’ve got it here in the UK but it’s nothing like what I’ve seen from across the pond. Burnt ends, beef ribs, smoked brisket. I’ve only ever seen it on YouTube and I envy those of you who have tasted it."
LWA7299
"Honestly when I went to Texas and tried the bbq, at both that big well known place and a 'mom and pop' place that my airbnb hosts said was the best in the city. It was... Good. Like it was tasty and all, but just they way people talk about it like its some kind of religious experience or that it's just so different and unlike bbq in other countries, but it wasn't. Its still just meat + dry rub + sauce and I've had comparable bbq in London."
GDPR_Violation
No Skittles
"My Texas is essentially one of those m&m characters. I picture him with those big oval eyes and white limbs. The color of this Texas-shaped m&m is 'American flag.' He’s got a cowboy hat, a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, and a perfectly groomed mustache. He’s just walking around in his cowboy boots with his Ak-47 in tow. He vehemently hates the skittles."
comradekitty__
Complete Crazy
"In my native Norwegian the term 'complete Texas' means chaos or out of control."
Algorithmix9
Panic Omg GIFGiphyTexas means so much in so many ways.
Perfection
"Cadillacs with giant horns on the front driven by old men in white suits with big white cowboy hats and superbly trimmed mustaches."
Spare-Cap-3152
season 6 welcome to austin GIF by PortlandiaGiphy'gone Texas'
"In my company (in a country on the opposite side of the planet from Texas), 'gone Texas' is a term used to describe a software program that has frozen up to the point where even Task Manager can't abort it. Otherwise we don't think about it very much, except perhaps with mild horror."
NinaCulotta
Taglines
"Heavyset white people with guns and large cowboy hats yelling 'DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!'"
OhEeAyTaleSpin88
"My favorite part of 'Don’t mess with Texas’ is that comes across as this slogan about how tough and bada** Texans are, but in reality it was an effective anti-littering campaign from the department of transportation."
Extremists
"Militant Evangelicals."
skootch_ginalola
"Man, as a Muslim in a secular country, is always a ride seeing posts about republicans go on about something something shariah law, something something freedom, something Obama... And then two posts later, there's a r/nottheonion post about Texas basically being white Taliban."
Deadpotatoz
Handmaids Tale No GIF by VideolandWell there is still a lot of good in Texas. You just have to dig deep.