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Chemistry: Where alcohol IS a solution.

Biochemistry:Spend 4 years aspiring to discover the cure for cancer, and the rest of yourlife manufacturing shampoo.

Archaeology: Ifyou do not know what it is, it is probably ceremonial.

InformationTechnology: Let me google that for you.

Computer Science (fora straight girl): The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Political Science:Your opinion is wrong.

AerospaceEngineering: It actually is rocket science.

Engineering: Theart of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.

StructuralEngineering: Because architects do not know what physics is.

Philosophy: Thinkabout it!

Communications: We willteach you everything you need to know about convincing your friends that yourdegree is actually meaningful.

Speech Pathology:We have ways of making you talk.

Linguistics:Studied 17 languages, am fluent in none of them.

Criminal Justice:We are here because of Law & Order reruns.

Photography: It isworth a shot.

Statistics: Whereeverything is made up and the numbers do not matter.

Anthropology: It willget you laid, but will not get you paid!

Zoology: Because youcan not major in kittens.

Psychology: goodluck doing anything until you get your masters!

Premed: I willprobably switch majors in 2 years.

History: Historymay repeat itself, but you definitely will.

English: So youwant to be a teacher.

Film: Forks onthe left, knives on the right.

Astrophysics: Eh,I am within an order of magnitude.

Creative Writing:Because job security is for pussies.

Latin: Because usefulis overrated.

Physics: Everythingyou learned last week is wrong.

Nursing: Learningto save other lives while struggling not to take your own.

Marine Bio: Iwanted to play with dolphins, but I am looking at algae instead.

Accounting:Selling your soul for money.

Finance: Accountingwas too hard.

Journalism: Learnhow to construct an argument that no one will pay to listen to.

Art History: Andyou thought MAKING art was pointless!

Music Performance:If you do not hate yourself, you are doing it wrong.

Graphic Design:No, we are not artists. We are designers. There is a difference.

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