Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay

It's okay to lie a little.


Not in the matter of romantic relationships or on your taxes or anything like that. However, if your job is to providing customer service, especially if those customers come to you with a litany of complaints, then odds are you're going to do a little bit of truth stretching to make it through that day. That's not outlandish to expect.
Some jobs, however, encourage you to lie from the very beginning, making you a paid fabricator of inaccuracies.

Reddit user, u/mollymoofs, wanted to know what jobs liars should be looking into when they asked:

What is a job where you are basically paid to lie?

For some jobs, lying is part of the skillset needed to get employed in the first place. Can't really tell someone you see their future without a little bit of fibbing.

Your Stay Is Very Important To Us

"I work in an industry where I have to deal with hotel guests. There are so many instances that if you actually provided a detailed explanation of what's really going on, it would create huge problems and hold ups, because no matter how well you explain something to someone there are people who will not understand. When they don't understand, they leap into divergent avenues and demand more explanations. More explanations trigger more confusion on their part. Then they get angry and accusatory."

"Dumb is a factor I have to plan for when I speak to customers. If you tell them a good, simple story, they will accept it and move on. Tell them the truth, you'll be held up for 30 minutes getting into a conversational clusterf-ck with a dumb person."

PotatoProfessor

"Example?"

ECEXCURSION

"I'm sorry, we have a pipe that burst so we have to put some rooms out of order. I'm going to have to walk you (send you) to another hotel."

= We are overbooked because more important people (high priority club members / guests from large corporate accounts) stole your room and we can't do anything about it."

night_owl_hoot

I Can *not really* See Your Future!

"Psychic/palm reader"

carol_29

"I saw this TV show that specialized in exposing fraud and scammers, they had an episode which busted psychics. They invited a bunch of psychics to this old abandoned chocolate factory and were asked to use their abilities to determine what happened to the original owner of the factory."

"The producers made up a completely fictional story about the factory and how the owner died in a freak accident when he was ran over by a horse drawn carriage, and published it online a few days before the psychics came."

"All of the psychics came in and started spewing the fake story from their "visions" and "readings". "Uhh I'm getting something about ... a horse? It was definitely a violent death"

"At the end they were all told it was a setup and the story was fake, and they all played it off like "Oh I must have been picking up that story from your energy! You had it in your mind so I read it!"

xandrenia

Never Upset The Bride At The Wedding

"Work at a bridal shop"

LittleNoodle1991

"Of course you don't have linebacker shoulders, Denise!" "Your @ss doesn't look fat in that, Becky!" "Your grandma will love that sheer dress that's slit all the way down to your coochie, Mary!"

Squishys_Girl

Then there's these jobs, which require a bit of lying but in a classy way. You can't outright tell if the employee you're speaking to is hiding something, but maybe you don't want to know. Maybe it's for the best.

People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

When You Don't Feel Like Serving Someone

"I bet you could guess from this 1 sentence, "Sorry the ice cream machine is broken"

godisdead1234567

Fertilizer. Kind Of Like What I'm Telling You. ​

"I was a spray tech on a golf course, which basically involves applying all sorts of chemicals. I was told (and found it much easier) to say I was applying organic fertilizer any time a golfer asked what I was doing. Why the terrible smell? Fertilizer. Why the spray suit and respirator? Fertilizer. What about the skull and crossbones on the bag of stuff? Just fertilizer."

startinearly

It's The Paper Boy's Fault

"Customer Service at a daily newspaper. I spent my day making excuses for why someone's newspaper was in the rose bushes instead of sitting on a silver plate next to a thin mint."

DrGonzo124

Following Up On A Case

"I worked as an Adult Protective Services caseworker for a little bit. We were not required to lie, But my company practiced lying to the abusers, to allow us access to the victims. Usually, We wouldn't just come up and say "hello, is so and so here? i'm here to investigate cases of elderly abuse, and we got a call that you are potentially financially abusing your grandma? may i come in?" it would never go like that, because they tend to get defensive, or just won't allow you access to the victim. It would normally sound like this"

"hello, my name is.... and I'm just here to check on your grandma, i got a call that she was recently discharged from the hospital, and i'm just following up on her outcome."

"Normally they are suspicious, and often times it takes some more suave to get in there, But its much better than telling them flat out why you are there."

Drownedfish28

Somewhere In The Next 1 to 9 Weeks

"Software development. They pay just that you can say that you can meet their request on time, even when you know that is a lie, and even sometimes, the client also knows it is a lie."

EmuChance4523

It All Looks Like Bones And Body Parts

"I take x-rays."

"Patient- "You see anything?"

"Me- "Im not very good at reading images, I just take the pictures"

"Yes i know your hand is broken and no I wont tell you."

Is_my_work_account

Finally, there's these kinds of career options, where lying has to come front and center. Sure, the customer or the person you're assisting knows you're not being entirely truthful, but like most living things, they don't always want to know the truth of how the employee really feels.

Sounds Awfully Illegal

"I worked at a MLM company (multi level marketing) which is basically a pyramid scheme company which works on recruitment basis. And we had to collect donations for helping children who were in need and other such causes, but only a fraction of money was actually ever donated."

MaiqTyson

Can't Keep It Honest When Talking About People's Kids

"Child care. "Your child was an angel today"

vortega814

"Heh, mine doesn't say that. They don't say 'take your hellspawn and go!' but they say diplomatic things like 'he was having a hard time sharing today' = brained another kid with a toy."

avonorac

​Servicing Their Ego

"A personal assistant to a narcissist."

  • "No, you're absolutely right you are being reasonable"
  • "It's no problem"
  • "That makes sense"

More Lying, More Power

"A Politician"

moTheastralcat

"They don't just get paid to lie, they actually get more power the better of a liar they are"

UWYO-Agent-7

"Politicians from your party are lying. Politicians from my party are telling the truth, only have my best interests at heart and are willing to sacrifice everything to help me out. Just want to be clear here. Your side is lying scum. My side is angels."

agreeingstorm9

The Origin Of All Lying

"Customer Service. You are paid to lie to the customer and make them believe that you give a sh-t."

Therearenogoodnames9

"'Your call is important to us,'... the big lie."

cibman

"See lots of replies assuming customer service == call center. The truth is that any retail work == customer service == lying for a living. When I greet a customer at the counter and they ask me how I'm doing, I am not to say, " terrible, I'm at work where customers think I am less than human and I don't get paid enough for all this, but I need money and insurance, so here we are." Instead, I am expected to lie and say, "doin all right," or something similar. The worst is when they say, "only all right?" In response, as if I should be ecstatic about working. Does anyone enjoy working, especially working face to face with customers?"

NeverNotAnIdiot

A little bit of lying is necessary, even critical, to the continued employment of some people. If people were allowed to go off on what's really happening behind the scenes the world wouldn't fall apart.

But a lot more people would be unemployed.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.

So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?

Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?

There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.

I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.

Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.

Keep reading... Show less

I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.

Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.

What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?

Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!

Keep reading... Show less
Nik Shulaihin/Unsplash

They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.

What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?

No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.

Maybe it already has?

Giphy

Keep reading... Show less

Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?

Here's an idea.

Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.

I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.

Keep reading... Show less