Have you ever been caught passing a note to someone in class? What did it say? Hopefully nothing even close to what these notes said. Here, 17 teachers share the weirdest note they've ever confiscated from a student.
1/17. When I worked as a teachers aide I once intercepted a note from a girl who was known as the "mean girl" of the high school to a boy who had a bit of a reputation for being a stoner. She looked furious and hurled the balled up paper at his head and I scooped it of his desk. It read:
"I know you took a sh*t in my hand bag you son of a b*tch."
2/17. Took a kid's phone once. Just as I took it out of her hand, she was sending a text. I take a look..."I want your flesh rocket in my hot pocket." I haven't taken anyone's phone since.
3/17. When I was in 5th grade I did extra chores to make $.50 so I could write a note to a girl I liked in the class. I included the $.50 so she could buy fruit snacks at lunch because I knew she liked them. I put the note in her desk when no one was looking. She saw it and then looked around and the money fell out.
The teacher saw it and took the note in front of everyone and asked who did it. She then looked closer and recognized my handwriting and called me out in front of everyone and took me to the principal. I overheard her telling him something about trying to "pay for affection."
4/17. A teacher I know intercepted a crumpled piece of paper a student was trying to keep concealed. The Teacher confiscated it as the student pleaded with him not to open it. He pulled the edges of the ball of paper down expecting to read some juicy gossip but instead was greeted with a load of snot.
The student didn't have any tissues to blow her nose.
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5/17. After I turned 21, I ran into a my old science teacher buying liquor. We were good friends and remained in contact, even though I dropped out of school. He helped me through biology in college and other courses. Anyway I offer to take him out to the local bar to buy him a drink.
We were about a couple drinks in and I asked him, out of curiosity, if he had [ever confiscated a weird note from a student before]. He did not mention a name but he intercepted a note that said something like, "This time tomorrow a lot of people are going to be dead here and you better not come in." He held him after class to ask him what was up. He said he wasn't going to call the cops on him but he wanted to know why he thought that this was a solution.
The kid broke down crying saying that everyday he goes home and it was sh*t. How he was beaten everyday and his father beat the sh*t out of his mother and everything. The kid lifted up his shirt and showed the bruises. Which apparently were a lot because his chest looked like a totally different color. He told him, I will make you a deal I will teach you how to defend yourself if you promise me you won't do what you are thinking about doing.
My science teacher got there early that day and waited out front where the students came in and saw him and took him aside and said what is the deal? Tears streaming down his face, he said teach me how to fight. For the next two years he taught this kid how to defend himself. My science teacher used to be a military drill instructor.
So long story even longer. One night this kid goes home and his father is on a mean, drunken rampage and is about to hit his mother and sister and he just balled up and grabbed his fist and beat the ever living sh*t out of his old man. From then on his life turned around his father quit drinking, wound up divorcing his mom. The kid forgave his mom. And the kid went on to college and now holds a PHD of some kind.
6/17. My mom's a teacher. One day she came home with a note and threw it in the counter. I, being curious, looked and saw about 8 different sexual positions not only written, but drawn out into stick figures performing them. Apparently my mom stopped the note from being passed around her 4th grade class.
7/17. On my first day of high school, my biology teacher caught me writing in my diary, assumed I was writing notes to someone else, and proceeded to read it in front of the class and even ask me questions about things I had written. This included the part about how excited I was that a boy I'd had a crush on for 7 years was sitting behind me.
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8/17. It was my first year of teaching. Halfway through class one day, I notice a folded piece of paper land on a guy's desk. I practically ran to his desk to snatch it up, as intercepting your first high school note is a memorable experience for sure.
It was a blank piece of paper.
I got so excited to read it aloud, to frame it in my study, and to laugh about it at my evening dine with the colleagues. Why did it have to be blank? Do high schoolers take pride in ruining their teacher's dreams?
Kids, man. I love this job, but sometimes it really sucks.
9/17. It was a back and forth note being passed between two 7th grade girls. They were talking about some boy and one was asking for the other's advice on making some sort of "big decision." The whole time I am reading it, I am thinking that I am going to have to have a sex talk with her. Finally, toward the end, she says something to the effect of, "No, I really like him. I am just not sure if I like him enough for him to be the first boy I hold hands with!" I thought it was hilarious that she was putting so much thought into that. I was also very relieved, and my faith in their innocence was restored a bit.
10/17. Not a teacher but a Teacher's Aid. I caught this note being passed in a 2nd grade class from a little girl to a boy. "Hey Xavier, I like you." Xavier: "I don't."
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11/17. Male seventh grade math teacher here. Not sure if these girls hated me or had a crush on me but took a note where the girls were trying to describe what my unit probably looked like. They ended up agreeing that it most likely looked like a rocket. My job is sh*t but at least I got the old rocket penis going for me.
12/17. The girls in our class got busted for passing notes and had a talk with each other and the administration about why not to do so. We guys (severely out numbered) decided to mock them and started passing notes. The teacher didn't care at first. After a while it got to be a problem. It was mostly stupid jokes like, "Hey look, a note!"
Two of my friends had been furiously passing notes and finally got caught. She confiscated the note and made my friend, Donny, come up in the front of the class to shame him.
"I want you to read the note to the class, Donald."
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"But Ms. B, there isn't anything to read. It is just a bunch of scribbles."
"If you lie you need to go to confession. (Catholic school)"
"No, really Ms. B! It is just a bunch of scribbles. " shows her
"Looks very well, but what does it say on the other side smug."
"Scribble, scribble, scribble." *shows a side with "Scribble, Scribble, Scribble" written on it.
13/17. I teach second grade.
I had one group of troublemakers. One of these troublemakers was a pretty good kid, he was just easily influenced into doing the wrong thing. When I caught him stealing from another kid's desk, I wrote a citation (something my school/district does; it goes to the office and the parents) and took him outside the room and explained to him why stealing wasn't okay.
Well, he was a good rat and never mentioned that someone else told him to do it. Unfortunately, the ringleader, a little girl of questionable family structure, thought he was giving her up while I was talking to him and proceeds to write a small note and leave it on his chair. When we both returned, another kid points out that she was out of her seat during a test and I see the note.
I sh*t you not, it read: "If you tell Mr. A, I'll tell John who will beat you up." What the f*ck?! They're 7-8 years old, where do they learn this sh*t?!
14/17. One of the kids drew a picture of the teacher, naked with his dick out.
The dick was small. I was the teacher. It was weird.
15/17. I took Spanish in high school. My junior year class was probably my favorite class of all time despite the fact that I learned very little. Everyone in the class were friends and we all loved our teacher (and screwed around with him a lot).
One day, while bored, I sent a note around the classroom that read "There are footprints on the ceiling." Probably about half the class looked up when they read it. Me and my buddy were giggling harder and harder with each person we fooled. The note was almost at the last person when my teacher noticed. He took it out of the person's hands and read it silently.
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And then he looked up.
My friend and I couldn't control ourselves any longer. We absolutely lost our sh*t. The rest of the class laughed as well so we didn't get called out, but both of us had tears rolling down our faces. That was one of my favorite things to ever happen to me.
Mr. Gomez, if you're reading this, you're awesome.
16/17. When I was in 4th or 5th grade (9 or 10 years old) me and my friend came up with an idea we should make our own code so our messages could not be deciphered if caught. (E.g. A = ^ and B = $) We had the all the whole alphabet in code and each having our own little piece of paper to help us decipher each code when we receive one.
One time my teacher, Ms. M, took one of our notes and said in front of the class "Would you like to read it to the class, or me?" and I say loudly "It's in code, you can't read it." She looks at the message and like a tool says, "We'll see about that."
She proceeds to spend the rest of the day trying to decipher the message. B*tch couldn't decipher it.
17/17. I was in fourth grade and made one of those cutout snowflakes with hundreds of dick shapes. The teacher stole it and threatened me with telling my parents. One day she had a substitute and I stole that sh*t out her desk. Nobody steals my dickflakes.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.