Everybody wants to be thought of as special. Every parent believes their child is special and gifted beyond measure and the rest of the world needs to bask in the glory of their offspring. That can be a lot of pressure for children to battle. Their is no ONE definition that makes anyone special. What is special? Or gifted? Having the I.Q. of Einstein doesn't make you accomplished or define your humanity. So when we discover our brain power is just as good as anybody's we learn that other things can be far more important to survival.
Redditor u/JayTheFearless wanted to hear the truth from those who have discovered they aren't quite as brilliant as they were lead to believe by wondering.... People who were told they were "gifted" growing up, how did you deal with realizing that you were pretty average?
Bless the Mediocrity!Giphy
To be honest, it was a massive relief. I'd gone through school as The Clever One and when I went to Uni, finding out that I was solidly mediocre was a blessing. All of a sudden, I could be myself - I didn't need to worry about doing the best in exams or getting a first. I enjoyed my time, got a very average 2:1 and now have a fun job where there's no pressure to be 'gifted.' With_Difficulty
It doesn't matter how smart you are; you always hit the level where you meet people who are equally smart. Or good looking, or athletic, or savvy. And when you measure up the competition and see that they're as good as you or better, you'll come to realize: being smart just gets you a seat at the table.
Raw talent, no matter how little or how much, can only accomplish so much. At some point, you will be forced to ask the question 'what can I do, and what do I want to do with that?' The answers can lead you to a fulfilling life, at pushing your capabilities and achieving things you've fought for - but you have to find the answers first. ReplicatedPenguin
The Truth will out!
Haha I didn't deal with it very well at all. I went to a private school, I was in the gifted class all through high school. Always told I was smart and creative.
I was shocked when just showing up and winging it wasn't good enough anymore. I had a breakdown at University, dropped out and was depressed doing as little as possible with my life for years.
Instead of realizing that everyone needs to make mistakes and work hard on things to grow I was like "Oh I guess I was wrong and I'm actually stupid, guess I'll figure out how to live life as a dumb idiot."
I think telling someone their value is their intelligence is a really unhealthy mindset to encourage, especially in a kid. It's not how I choose friends, it's not what makes someone good to work with, it's not gonna mean someone is well adjusted or happy. Bitter-root
I Got This!
I didn't try at all in high school and I was 3rd in my grade. The few times I studied I would always get the top mark.
I didn't study for most of my finals and got into engineering at the best uni in my country.
I was told that it's difficult but my dumb @ss was like, "I got this." Didn't go to class, didn't do homework, didn't study for tests. Barely passed the first tests, still didn't study. Completely failed the 2nd test (I got 9% for my one test).
I was like, "well I guess I'm stupid." Didn't study for exams, because I'm too dumb, failed 2 courses. Got really suicidal.
Continued with my same stuff. Was sure I'd get kicked out. Idk how I've made it this far.
I have zero work ethic, I just failed a maths test because I started "studying" the day of the test. Accepting you're stupid is so much easier than actually trying. AwkwardSpacePotato
Deal with it Snowflake!Giphy
It was kind of an "I told you so" moment too.
"Wow you learned how to divide! So talented"
"Well that was the assignment so.."
"You read Shakespeare! Gifted child!"
"Again I'm just doing what you tell me and doing it in the timeframe you ask.."
"You're reading for fun! You're not like other kids your age!"
"I'm just re-reading Hatchet for the seventh time. Most of my friends read too."
Then I'm in college and it's like "Ha! You're average! Bet nobody ever told you that huh?? Well tough crap snowflake! You have to deal with it!" TimerForOldest
Keep the motivation!
Posting thing because honestly, coming to terms that I wasn't some super intelligent genius sucked. I always thought I'd be able to do complex computer stuff or maybe build a spaceship, but I'm nowhere near that level. I've found my own strengths now, and I'm actually much happier now that my ego isn't super inflated by adults commenting on how "mature" and "gifted" I was. That kind of praise killed my motivation to study, because I thought I would just know things automatically. I'm in Uni now, but it's because I worked really hard for it, and learning those study habits I didn't develop as a kid really kicked my butt for a while. JayTheFearless
It keeps going down hill ever since elementary school. I haven't been able to deal with it. It's my depression and lack of motivation that's been stopping me from being my best. It's a hard spiral to get out of. XMED
Forget smart... don't be lazy!
This is what I struggle with. I was never identified as gifted, but I was always smart enough that being ahead of the group didn't require any studying. As a result, I didn't develop a work ethic at a young age and, if I'm not careful, I have a tendency to slip into laziness.
What I told my niece years ago rings true. Dumb people who don't work hard will be failures. Smart people who don't work hard will do OK. Dumb people who work hard will do OK, too, and maybe even get farther than the lazy smart people. But the people who really go places are smart people who know how to work hard. Brains and a work ethic are an important combination.
But, even though I know that, it's pretty darn hard not to fall back into old habits... Sean_Ornery
Honestly telling a kid that they're gifted/mature is one the worst things you can do, I didn't like hanging out with people my age when I was young because they were into "kid stuff" but now all I feel like is that I wasted my childhood and didn't develop proper social skills, I'm at university now and I still get compliments from my peers for being "well read" but I'm envious of every single one of the other people, I'd much rather struggle academically and have a group of people to have lunch with and go out, the only reason I still am reading so much is because it is the only thing that makes spending so much time alone not utterly humiliating. C_T_Robinson
Nothing special IS special....Giphy
Since childhood my parents encouraged me to exercise, so I tried a lot of sports and in most of the places I went to, I'd hear that I was talented or that I was an "easy-learner." Turns out, I'm nothing special, the thing that I noticed was that when I started something, I would dive heads deep in it. I would go to practice, come back home and watch videos about whatever I was doing. My world and total attention would become that one thing. furiouspride
Do you 'Get It?'
Absolutely, I've always been told that I was a genius for understanding things so fast and being cultivated (relatively and that has nothing to do with being smart either but eh) despite not working/listening.
But when I started studying at higher levels and I realized I wasn't able to get good grades anymore because people around me were way better and expectations were much higher. I tried to start studying but despite trying a good number of working environments and getting better habits I could never manage to 'get it' and focus.
It felt really bad because I thought that I only had my intellect and I was put with several at least as 'smart' as me and way better working.
After failing I went studying in another school where the level is much lower and people are calling me a genius again which kinda feels bad now that I've experienced that being smart is relative and that understand fast doesn't make you competent. Sensonin
Everyone was First place!
I gradated from high school as valedictorian and got into a great college. I got to college and turns out, my new peers were valedictorians too! All of the sudden I was average, and the material only got more difficult. I was always a hard worker, but this hammered home that being smart does not negate the need to push yourself. sullyonthemove
Just being YOU is a success....Giphy
Although it sucks being that guy, it depends on your personality; I took it well because it helped me realize that I don't need 3 PhD's to prove my potential. golden-sauce
It's just a label...
Looking back, I'm not sure how I made it into the group. I always knew I was the least gifted out of the group of us who were in the "gifted and talented" program. When we got into high school, I had the lowest grades in the group. Yea, low 90s were my thing, but that's not anything special, especially in a school renowned for its academic program. I never made it into the top 10 for grades. However, I'd always score in the 97th to 99th percentile for the standardized testing.
Unlike others in the group, I didn't possess any natural talents or any drive for extra knowledge. I liked extracurricular activities and being a leader, but that's also because I was a big fish in a small pond. I suppose I demonstrated analytical and leadership skills.
I've done well in life in terms of get degrees and professional job(s). I don't earn as much money as I could since I don't like enjoy the stress that comes with the money.
My life is consistently above average. I do pretty well at things I try but never amazing. I cannot say I've ever excelled at anything. While I'm happy where I am, I do wonder if it's because I don't apply myself enough or if it's because I just never found my "thing." flabbergastedpanda
Reality hit me like a ton of bricks when I finished college. All through school, I was top of the class, valedictorian, summa cum laude, etc. Turns out I wasn't really 'gifted' at all, I was just really good at jumping through all the hoops of the education system. Give me an assignment, and exam, I will ace it. When it came to forging my own path out in the real world, where there is no syllabus and no one cares about your GPA I got overwhelmed with how clueless I actually was about everything. Struggled with that "imposter syndrome" for many years and stayed pretty stagnant (although a still a classic "good employee") while I watched my peers move way ahead of me in their careers. I eventually figured out my workplace was pretty toxic and things have improved with a new job, and setting career goals for myself. But yeah, I'm average. snarkbitten
Have you ever heard the phrase, "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room?" I think for me, when I was in K-12, it's hard to find the right room. But when you get to college or choose a career, there are suddenly a lot more options for rooms to choose from. One of my goals in life is to always be moving forward, constantly improving in some way; frequently, this means increasing my knowledge or technical skill level, especially since I'm in my mid-20's. So although it's been difficult to find "the right room," it's much more gratifying, since that means that I'm surrounded by people I can learn from and with.
I guess what it comes down to in the end is your attitude. Sure, it sucks not being handed things because you're viewed as some sort of elite. But I enjoy feeling like I earned something through effort and determination, so it's worth those occasional moments of doubt. Lucky_Asian
I eventually grew out of that too and realized I'm not just average. I got through high school and college without ever learning to study or focus, so once I started my first real job and had to deal with failing for the first time, it made me feel like I was stupid and everyone had been lying to me my whole life to make me feel better. Eventually though, I realized that wasn't true either. If you're identified as gifted as a kid, you probably are, but rather than having to overcome difficulty learning things, you have to overcome difficulty with actually doing things instead of skating by despite being a lazy fuck.
He said, while on reddit at work... ElToberino
The Dumb Guy....
I knew from the start. I've always been a gifted speaker and fairly logical so people thought I was intelligent. It's actually really annoying because I have never gotten the help I needed in life. People always assume I have motivational issues or distractions because I'm a "smart guy." My intelligence and ability has NEVER been questioned.
I didn't deal with this well at all. I gave up in school because I got too far behind without getting help. So I straight up quit after 9th grade and started working. I wasn't going to waste my time anymore. But I sometimes wonder if I had gotten the help I needed then perhaps I would have been able to make a better life for myself. Jauxerous
The Dream will come....
I had a teacher-parent growing up. I was frequently told that I had an above average IQ and I should go study and stuff. I was a lazy person and didn't study a lot. I dropped out of no less than three higher education courses/schools that would have been my ticket to studying at an university.
Why didn't I study? Because I was sure I wouldn't need any degrees in my dream job. Guess what? I was right. wildfoxtattoo
It's odd honestly.
I was told I was gifted because I pick things up really quickly, and I still do. But I've always lacked the motivation to stick with one thing long enough to be excellent at it.
I typically change jobs every 18 months, and I'll stick with a hobby for 6 months or so before getting bored. I'm average-above average at a whole lot of different things, but I'm not truly exceptional at anything. TheRealGunn
- How bad should we feel for burnt-out gifted kids? | The Outline ›
- Not All Children Are Gifted ›
- Is Your Child Gifted? What to Look for, Why You Should Know ... ›
- Signs your child is gifted ›
- The Trouble With Bright Kids ›
- Do children need to know they're gifted? - Chicago Tribune ›
- Teachers' Expectations Can Influence How Students Perform : Shots ... ›
- Pros and Cons of Telling Children They Are Gifted ›
- Should we tell them they're gifted? Should we tell them how gifted? ›
I don't see the appeal of these rooms.
Why would one enjoy being trapped in a room?
When you watch people trapped in a movie you cheer for their release.
But this activity has gotten super popular.
And people have gotten real creative in their escapes.
Redditor CaptainCatButt wanted to hear confessions from the great escapes. They asked:
"Escape Room employees, what's the weirdest way you've seen customers try and solve an escape room?"
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
Voice of GodWhos That Voice Of God GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
IdiotsIdiot Facepalm GIFGiphy
"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Different cultures are fascinating and add color to our world.
While many cultures should be celebrated, there are some individuals who just can't help but reserve their opinions about those whose behavior and customs differ vastly from their own.
At the risk of coming off as offensive, some might even call these customs, "weird."
European culture got the spotlight when Redditor CoffeeBoy88 asked:
"What is something weird about Europe that Europeans don’t realize is weird?"
Apparently, there's never a dull moment in European nations.
"German tourists are OBSESSED with mooses."
"The UK has 30 accents per square mile. And if a large man calls you duck in Stoke … that’s okay."
"Norwegians don't close their curtains when it gets dark."
"The amount of mosquitos in Finland, Americans go crazy in Spring because of it."
Redditors discuss what it's like traveling around Europe.
Come And Go As You Please
"How incredibly inconsequential it is to cross country borders. Cycled through France - Belgium - Netherlands and there is barely even a sign."
"You drive five hours in the US: you’re basically still in the same place."
"You drive five hours in Europe: everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
The Short Commute
"The first time I was in the UK my husband wanted to go to Wales and I looked at the train route from London and was like 'It’s all the way on the other side of the country! We’re only in the UK for a week. We don’t have that kind of time!' And my husband was all, 'you know it’s a 2.5 hour train ride, right?' I thought it would all day."
Germans In Transport
"the absolute lack of air conditioning even at 40°, german transport gets sticky and stinky quite fast and nobody seems to care, many people even shut the windows to avoid the 'annoying breeze.'"
Maintaining distance was a thing long before pandemic measures recommended people to be socially distanced.
All About Respect
"Finnish people are silent, small talk doesn't exist. Their personal space larger than COVID-19 social distancing rules, and it's considered normal. Don't speak unless spoken to, and don't invade other people's personal space - it's seen as a sign of a respect."
"Those Finns, who haven't been to abroad or haven't met too many foreigners, don't often even recognize this behaviour being unusual in the global scale."
The "Safety Coffee Cup"
"I'm from Finland and one European thing that all Finnish people hate is cheek kisses when greeting. Its mostly southern european thing but still. There is this saying in Finland that goes 'Everyone has their own safety coffee cup' meaning the closest distance someone should get to you should not be closer than your coffee cup when you're holding it."
Let Them Shop In Peace
"Weird at first but I appreciate and wish for it. It might be just a Germany thing but from what I’ve been told German Walmart failed because the North American style of customer service was very unliked. From the greeter at the door to clerks asking if you need help unprompted. German shoppers just want to shop and go home as undisturbed as possible."
I remember being weirded out when I went to Paris and asked for some ice at a cafe.
The waiter served me coke by opening the room temperature can and poured some of the contents into an empty glass. With no ice.
When the server came back, he had with him a spoon with one ice cube on it. I thought it was stingy but it got worse.
He poured the rest of the coke over the ice on the spoon he was holding and then walked away with the ice and spoon.
I guess the coke was colder than when I had my first sip, so according to the server, it was viola: mission accomplished!
Do the French not like ice-cold beverages? Weird.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Just because a therapist is there to expertly evaluate our emotional challenges throughout many of life's adversities and crises, it doesn't mean they always hold it together.
People tend to forget that therapists–the professional we seek for guidance when we're vulnerable–are also human and are just as prone to feeling the feels.
Curious to hear from therapists who've exposed their emotional vulnerabilities in front of their clients opened up when Redditor Unkw0n_pers0n asked:
"Therapist that have cried in a session, why?"
A patient who feels seen and understood reinforces why therapists endeavor to help people in the first place.
It Wasn't Her Fault
"I was working with a deeply depressed client who had a lot of negative self talk about how she was always a failure. We were exploring the origins of this and how young she was the first time she felt self-blame. She told me her earliest story of when she was in 2nd grade."
"Afterwards, as we were processing it, I expressed that 'it wasn't your fault' about the story. She just broke down sobbing and said 'nobody has ever said that to me before' in between sobs. It hit me and I cried a little."
"i cried after i worked with a kid who described an emotionally difficult situation with a sibling. the kid’s experience aligned very similarly to something i went through with my own sibling when i was the kid’s age and i hadn’t realized how much hurt i was carrying from the experience."
"being a therapist sometimes means being confronted with things you didn’t realize had such a strong impact on you. luckily, i have a stellar therapist of my own that i can work through these moments with."
The Patient With A Disorder
"I was doing a cognitive assessment for a girl. We were doing tests and at one point she started crying she was unable to tell me why, she was fine just one moment before. I let her collect her thoughts, then she said softly 'I don't want to be more stupid than my friends'. She wasn't actually, she was very bright, but she didn't know that she has dyslexia, dysorthograpy AND dyscalculia. I realized that she went through THIRTEEN years of school without help. Her parents didn't want to do an assessment as they thought she was just lazy. I told her that she was very brave to decide to get help and things would get better after our assessment and I felt tears in my eyes."
"Edit: first of all, I have great empathy for parents, for most of all is just a matter of ignorance, fear and parenting is hard. If you are a parent and you see your kid struggling, PLEASE listen to professionists, we are here to help, not judge, and we will find ways to help you and your kid. Disorders don't go away, don't underestimate it, the sooner you get help, the better the outcome can be. It's ok to be scared but we're here for you and we understand you."
"Second, I'm really sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories about people that weren't believed and struggled being undiagnosed. I wish you all the best, I hope you are in a better situation and you got or you'll get all the help you deserve, because you do deserve it."
"Third, if you think 'something's wrong with me', get help if you are in a position to do so. Worst case you understand yourself better and have a chance do make peace with parts of yourself."
A patient who has already accepted their heartbreaking fate recalls seeing their therapist getting emotionally involved during a session.
A Mother Who Didn't Want To Let Go
"My therapist cried while 'mediating' a discussion between my mom and I. I have a neurodegenerative disease and she is my full time caregiver. Because of my severe disability, she also has legal guardianship of me, even though I am in my 20’s (this is all fine with me, I need the help, and I agreed in court to all of it. This was the first true 'disagreement' that we ever had.)"
"I am ready to die. I am in pain, unable to do anything for myself, and it’s only getting worse. I asked my mom to sign a DNR, because I have been resuscitated before, it was a mess, and I don’t want it to happen again."
"She refused. She doesn’t want to lose her child and wanted to do everything medically possible to keep me alive."
"The session was essentially me begging her to let me go, while she sobbed and said she could never sign a paper that would lead to my death. It was a terrible situation. No one was 'the bad guy', no one was trying to hurt the other. It was someone wanting their suffering to end, verses a mother not wanting to lose her child."
"My therapist agreed that I should be allowed to make this choice, but certainly didn’t think my mom was manipulative or evil, just already grieving and trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I saw her wipe her eyes several times, and they were red by the time we were done. She actually hugged us both at the end."
"The situation wasn’t resolved during the session, but my mom came around shortly after. She wouldn’t sign the DNR, but gave me legal permission to do so (so, in her mind, it wasn’t her making the final decision.)"
"BTW, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship! This was just one issue that we couldn’t come to an agreement on ourselves. But it worked out, and I’m now in palliative care and have a great team looking after me, INCLUDING my mom!"
The following examples continue to demonstrate how therapists are more emotionally invested in their patients and clients than you think.
Responding To Tragic News
"I cried in a substance treatment group. A client’s mom had reached out via email to me to say that her daughter died from an OD. She called during my group so I chose to take the call and spoke with her briefly. I thought I could continue with the group. Ended up in tears instead."
She Patient Who Felt Unloved
"My patient cried and said 'there's nobody on this planet who loves me anymore.' I cried when I left because I knew she was right. For context: she was 95, her husband and son had died, she had a personality disorder that made her behaviour unbearable for her environment after her husband died and every person still in her life were paid for to be around her. She died a few months after this conversation."
It is unsurprising that therapists are compassionate people.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the room to help someone who is struggling internally.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Much of the nation continues to reel from the news that a leaked draft opinion indicated the Supreme Court's ruling on Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization will move to strike down Roe v. Wade, the 1973 landmark decision that protects a person's right to choose reproductive healthcare without excessive government restriction.
Many people remember what it was like in the days before women could seek an abortion; many innocent women died in the absence of proper medical care or were forced to birth children they could not afford, trapping them in poverty.
But could a ruling overturning Roe v. Wade signal the loss of other rights in the future, especially those decided on the right to privacy, on which Roe was hinged?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor thisiscubes asked the online community,
"Americans of Reddit, what are your thoughts on Roe v. Wade being overturned by SCOTUS as per draft reports?"
"It was the single most traumatizing..."
"I used to be pro-life for the most part but felt abortion was necessary in certain situations (i.e. rape, incest, whatever). I thought I would have never had an abortion myself. I thought I could always give up the baby for adoption."
"Until I gave birth last month. It was the single most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through. I'm healthy and my pregnancy was not complicated but my heart stopped working after getting an epidural. I coded."
"Once they got me stabilized again, my baby then starting decompensating. They literally had to rip him out of me because I was too far along to convert to C-section."
"I still can't control feces leaking out of me, even 6 weeks later. What a quality of life improvement /s."
"I wanted this child so having my body absolutely wrecked for the safety of my child seemed worth it, despite the pain and complications I experienced from it."
"But now, having gone through that, I cannot imagine any woman being FORCED to go through what I went through. Against their will. So I’m pretty pro choice now."
We are so sorry you had to go through that. We agree that giving birth can be harmful and traumatic, even for a wanted child, and no woman should have to go through that.
"I am currently..."
"I am currently in an OB triage hospital room waiting for a shot of methotrexate, which is considered an abortion."
"This pregnancy was so wanted. I had a miscarriage in February. I wanted this baby. But it is ectopic and it will kill me. And I am still crying so hard."
"My doctors have been amazing and caring and made this process so much easier. F*ck anyone who thinks the legal system needs to be involved here."
We are so sorry you have to go through that. It’s none of the government’s business.
"Roe wasn't the start of abortions. It was the end of women dying from abortion."
We can't clap enough for this one.
"Get our your wallets..."
"You think our social services are overwhelmed now. Get out your wallets because there is about to be a generation of babies born where moms won't have the means to feed, clothe, and care for them."
Sadly, this is all too true. It is a crisis in the making.
"My cousin had to terminate..."
"I had an abortion at 21 that saved my life. It was a terrifying and isolating experience, and the best decision I have ever made."
"My cousin had to terminate her pregnancy in the second trimester due to the fact that the fetus developed without a brain. She described the care she received as what kept her alive through her grief."
"If abortion was not an option, she would have had to carry to term."
I’m sick to my stomach over this. Women, especially women of color, are going to die."
Sadly, the statistics are on your side on this. Many women, especially women of color, are going to die, and many children will grow up impoverished.
"Scared. I work with survivors of sexual violence. I am a survivor myself. I, and many other folks, have had our bodily autonomy stolen from us before. To see it on a federal level is horrifying."
It is indeed frightening and survivors of sexual violence no doubt feel victimized alll over again.
"My daughter will never have..."
"As a woman, I will be legally lesser than males because I have a womb. My daughter will never have full autonomy over her body. Intersectionally speaking, women of color and under resourced women will bear the brunt of this. Nothing will change for white women of means."
White women of means can fly wherever they wish and get an abortion there. That will never change.
"The foster care system is proof the government doesn’t care about unwanted children yet want to force more to be born. It’s all politics though guarantee if any of them ever got in a sticky situation illegal or not an abortion will be had available."
The United States' welfare system is also awful and that seems to be by design.
"My wife had a miscarriage last year. Because we were well past the point of most miscarriages (not quite to the stillbirth cutoff, but not far away), we were told the odds of my wife passing the fetus on her own were slim and that surgery was the safest option."
"We were required by law to acknowledge in writing that the procedure would terminate the (dead) fetus and that it came at risk of infertility and death. Our doctor was required to tell us the developmental age of the (dead) fetus and which developmental milestones occur around that time, as well as offer us an ultrasound to see the (dead) fetus."
"We cried the entire time. We desperately wanted this child. Our doctor cried, apologizing every step of the way that we had to go through this insensitive BS on top of losing the pregnancy."
"This fetus was dead in every sense of the word but because the procedure in question is also used for abortions we had to jump through these goddamn hoops to avoid putting my wife's health at risk."
"And it's not like my state doesn't offer alternatives for nonviable fetuses, conception due to rape or incest, or instances where health is at serious risk. This WAS the alternative. If we were actually getting an elective abortion it would have been significantly more time consuming and soul-crushing. You literally have to take an online course."
"Abortion access in this country is already a joke. All this is going to do is get people killed."
This is a heartbreaking story and we are sorry that you and your wife had to go through that.
As you can see, overturning Roe v. Wade has significant consequences. While the actual opinion will not be released until the summer, it's safe to say that the United States is entering a new era and that an entirely new wave of activism has begun.
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.