The 1966 sci-fi classic Star Trek has always held some hidden gems. One in particular sparks a conversation around a regular fact of life: sometimes we do everything right and still lose.
In one scene, Captain Jean Luc Picard requests Commander Data to help him on the bridge of the spaceship. Data tries to suggest that Picard choose someone else as his first in command.
Data said:
"I have not been able to isolate the problem, sir. I might make a mistake."
Picard took a few steps toward him, closing the distance between them, and gives him an order.
Before leaving, Picard turned to Data and said:
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose."
"That is not a weakness. That is life."
This statement was an encouragement to not let fear or self-doubt get in the way of action and the pursuit of what must be done in the way of your own self. Failure is just a part of life.
This scene sparked Redditor NeonDragon76 to ask:
"Picard said, 'It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose,' what is your real life example of this?"
We compiled some of the moments where no matter our efforts, life got in the way.
In a relationship that just wasn't meant to be.
"Being the best partner you can be in a relationship and having them fall out of love or cheat on you."
- sugarplumbuttfluck
"Relationships are very much like that. Stories always make them seem directly attainable - you do the right thing, and the person will fall in love with you, you keep doing the right thing and they'll stay with you forever. But in reality... like, if someone doesn't want to date you, and then you rescue them from a burning building, they still won't want to date you."
- LtLabcoat
"Learned the hard way that you can be as good a partner as possible - still doesn't matter if the problem is one you have no control over to fix..."
- TorTheGasman
"Yup. I spend three years as my ex's emotional punching bag and therapist before I realized how f**ked up it was and left."
- ManySpectrumWeasel
disappointed star trek GIFGiphyThey didn't go first.
"I’ve lost many board games and card games simply because I didn’t go first."
- super-goblin
"I remember my cousin bringing out mancala and was so excited to play it. After two games I realized the first player would always win if you played correctly and asked her if I could play first since I was new and proceeded to win every game then told her the strategy. She was dejected at the time, but I like to think she went on to beat other people with it after that."
- geshtar
Not getting the job.
"Not getting a job offer from the interview."
"Sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes the other candidates were just better."
- BrokenHeartedOctopus
"Sometimes, you were just as good, but they simply had to make a choice because of the limited amount of vacancies."
- Lvcivs2311
Not getting bonuses for something out of their control.
"My team at work getting absolutely reamed out and having year-end bonuses denied to us because of a major outage on one of our systems... The outage was caused by a bug that we were among the first in the world to experience and the vendor hadn't even published an advisory yet much less released the patch to fix it."
"There was literally nothing we could have done to avoid it."
- Hrekires
"Wonder how many people are going to quit over that bullsh*t."
- Montzterrr
angry star trek GIFGiphyGetting fired.
"When despite doing everything your boss tells you, you still get fired."
- MaverickYankee
"Or when you outperform everyone else on your team for years and are due for a promotion but instead your boss's freshly hired 20 years younger girlfriend gets the promotion."
"I literally quit two days after."
- RealMainer
Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
"IBS."
"Sometimes you can be very careful to avoid all your triggers, and still end up stuck in the bathroom for a few hours."
- grmrsan
"Yes, and then spending those cursed toilet hours going back over the last day or two trying to work out what you did differently despite knowing you intentionally only eat the same things for this exact reason."
- NeonDragon76
Angry Star Trek GIFGiphyGetting into professional sports.
"Sports."
"Someone can do absolutely everything right. They can work harder than anybody else. Play to the highest level that their talent allows, and they still will not make it professionally."
"No matter the amount of effort I put in, I simply will never throw a 100 MPH fastball."
- RockySlough
"I think a lotta people forget that genetics is a very important component of athletic performance. I could train every single day and be absolutely jacked and would still get destroyed in any game of basketball because I'm 5’3."
- dogsonboats
Relationships with our parents.
"My brother was always that kind of son who made everything he wasn't supposed to do. I tried to be the best daughter I could and support my mom in everything she needed. Now my brother has a really good relationship with her and I barely talk with her."
- Uncomfortable_Mind
"Right. I feel your pain deeply. My brother did the same kind of thing, my dad was problematic so I had to be strong for mom. Do you think we didn’t test their love? Lost son syndrome? What is it?"
- HerrLangschlong
Working in the medical field.
"I worked as a paramedic for 15 years. You can do everything right but if it’s not going to happen it’s just not going to happen."
- medic8388
"I was an EMT for 3 years and left to become a flight attendant. When it's your time, it's your time, and there isn't much we can do."
- tommygunz007
Star Trek Reaction GIFGiphy
The Candidate Who Stuck Around
"A coworker told me once that I was picked for my job on a sort of coin toss. Both I and the other candidate were equally qualified and nothing we did really made one better than the other. They took a chance on me because I seemed less likely to jump after a year or two like most people who applied for that job were doing to do."
"Funny thing was, that was exactly my intention when I got the job but I've ended up staying way longer."
– battraman
Blessing In Disguise
"Also a chance the job was never really available in the first place. Some companies require a job get posted publicly and external candidates be interviewed even when an internal candidate is already selected. Or maybe the nephew of the boss needed a job but they have to interview people. I’ve been involved in a handful of interviews where I’ve strongly preferred a candidate that lost out for reasons beyond their control."
"Also, sometimes not getting the job is a blessing. A coworker/buddy and I wound up going after the same position at a new company. I nailed the interview and honestly I had experience and skills beyond that of my friend so I thought I had it in the bag. They took my buddy. Confidence took a hit, but fast forward about 6 months and buddy hates it there. They start furloughing employees and he quits shortly after that. Meanwhile I got a promotion and set me on a path that led to considerably more money somewhere else. Never can tell how things turn out sometimes, but don’t let job rejections get you down. It’s their loss they didn’t take you 😉"
– Blues_Stl
Road Hazards
"Driving comes to mind. A lot of collisions involve one person doing everything they should be and another being an idiot. Although you followed all of the rules of the road you still lost by getting rear ended by someone on their phone."
– [deleted]
The Setback
"I've been spending two years and 20K in college debt to become a personal trainer. I'm supposed to graduate this spring."
"Then my back got ruined in a car crash last month. The prognosis being 'ongoing pain management.'"
"Screw me, right? 'Cause it's not like I'm trying to escape my current life situation or anything. /s"
– Hollogram_Janeway
The Favorite
"My brother was always that kind of son who made everything he wasn't supposed to do. I tried to be the best daughter I could and support my mom in everything she needed. Now my brother has a really good relationship with her and I barely talk with her."
– Uncomfortable_Mind
When You Can't Compete
"Old job hunting saying: you can have the perfect interview and they can still hire their nephew."
– mjk1260
Luck Of The Draw
"Life is like poker in a way. Your outcomes are a result of your decisions and luck. Sometimes you can make all the right decisions and still have a bad outcome or lose. Also, some people start with better hands."
"Conversely the opposite can happen where you make poor decisions and win."
"However making good decisions (no mistakes) puts you in a better position to have a good outcomes."
– Actuaryba
Sometimes it may feel that we have everything under control and then life throws us a curve ball.
As Picard said, it's not weakness, it just is the way it is. It's how we move on from those moments and find other ways of continuing that show our strength.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.