Every kid has their own strengths and talents. However, in school, some of us are singled out as being ‘gifted.’
This could mean a variety of things, from getting exceptionally good grades to having a unique way of thinking or understanding topics that aren’t seen in other students.
Often, when a student is labeled “gifted,” it is assumed they will be successful in later life.
However, Reddit has proven that this is not always the case.
Sometimes gifted students are successful but to a normal degree. They have the same careers and achievements as students who weren't labeled gifted. Other times, these students are not successful at all and being labeled “gifted” ended up damaging.
Curious about the results of this label, Redditor Lemon_m1lk asked:
“People who were “gifted” in elementary school: what are you doing in life now?”
A Real Job
"anesthesiologist"
– mstpguy
"First comment I saw that was actually a job and not a chronic depression..."
– The-1st-One
Life Fulfilled
"I work in biotech ensuring drugs are safe and make a great living, just paid off my house. I feel like Reddit isn’t the most balanced place to ask this question haha"
– thenisaidbitch
Life Of Academia
"I have a PhD and teach university. So never leaving academia?"
– Big_Reveal_5042
"I think this is the way I'm headed too. PhD in archaeology (I start next week) and couldn't be happier with my life choices."
– SpeaksThePast
"Same. It's usually a great gig, except I'm chair of my department now and have to be nice to people."
– WmKaden
Science And Engineering, Of Course
"NASA Engineer."
– alvintf3
"I'm a computer engineer and VP at my company. I worked at a successful startup and even had a co-op job at NASA in college."
– DHELMET47
"Senior software architect. Discovered I had a knack for programming my sophomore year in college many moons ago. Made a career out of it. :)"
– Xyrus2000
A Working Brain
"Honestly, I’ve got a good life. Got a master’s degree and certification in a job that I find really rewarding and challenging."
"I still love to learn."
"I have a great relationship with my SO and a pretty cool kid."
"I’m still friends with some of my gifted buddies (despite living all over the US). And I would say we are pretty content with our lives."
– hellosweetie88
Others didn’t achieve what everyone expected them to achieve.
Counting Coins
"Cashier."
"I can count your change like a motherf*cker though."
– Knyfe-Wrench
Perfectly Successful
"I am VERY succesful in my menial job"
– VicRambo
Done At 10
"I peaked in grade 5. It was a good ride while it lasted, tho."
– claytrontom
"Omg, same here. I was put into an advanced sixth grade that required actual effort and it was downhill from there."
– Comfortable_Grand786
Trying To Figure It Out
"Winging it still at 37...."
– jefferd82
"This hits too close... I too am 37. Whole family and friend group like "why aren't you super successful? You're so smart and charismatic!""
""Really wish I could tell y'all something that made sense...""
– RelentlessExtropian
Such A Waste
"I am chronically unemployed and just generally a waste of space."
– Sandlicker
"You and me both. Chronic depression and various other mental health issues; I suspect my brain simply burned out."
– CalydorEstalon
"Not unemployed but I have a lot of anxiety and fear of failure. I only start things when I can guarantee success. For example, I’ve been wanting to learn Python but the fear of not doing well stops me every time"
– curryp4n
Only Way Out Is Through
"Depressed, anxious, and agoraphobic. I flunked out of high school because the anxiety was too much for me to handle and later turned to drugs to cope. I finally got sober but life still sucks."
– generic_username19
Some even pointed out that being called “gifted” or anything of the sort was damaging to students.
School Forever
"I'm staying in school bc I don't believe I'll thrive anywhere else. So I'm getting degree after degree."
– guns_and_angels
"I’ve never related to any comment more than this. School was a safe place with clear objectives (degrees) and a reliable method of accountability (grades). Would be a student for life if I could"
– candlerc
"Same. Now I’m 39 with only 7 years of job experience."
– Narrow_Flight9414
Or High Anxiety
"Having anxiety about change in my life"
– InformalPenguinz
"Same"
– babyrache
"Huge mood. Being labelled as having “so much potential!!!!!1!!!” will set you up for striving to be good at even the most menial and brainless tasks, bc if you’re not competent…well!"
– publius-esquire
Special Gifted Classes
"They were still doing this as late as the mid 90s where I went. Fun at first until you realize you still had to cover what you missed. Eventually the policy changed to 1 day a week at a different school which was even worse because you never really bonded with anyone there."
"Gifted school was better except they assumed you were gifted at all subjects."
– fed_dit
"I remember being taken out of class in the 70s too. In the third grade me and about 4 other kids were studying microbes and using microscopes. Then they repurposed the room we were using and they just quietly moved us into the corner of the regular classroom which I found embarrassing. We would have to whisper with the teacher but it just made the other kids want to know what we were doing over there. It was awkward and poorly executed."
– BaconReceptacle
And Missing Out On The Fun
"Dude. Me too. Taken out of my regular school to go hang out with nerds and miss pe. Which was our only chance for sports that I only cared about back then"
– Overit337984
"yeah i was “gifted” enough to know more busywork was punishment for being “gifted”. i’ll take my recesses and classes with my friends thanks."
– i_wish_i_had_ur_name
Recognition, validation, and facilitation can be extremely valuable for students, especially young ones.
However, it is more beneficial for these students to know it's okay to be who they are rather than being put into categories and gaining labels early in life.
A lot of "gifted" kids go on to be very successful adults, but that is by far not the case for everyone.
Many find that their "gifted" status leads to higher expectations and less support from adults and they end up struggling in later years of school.
If people on Reddit are any gauge, "successful adult" seems to be the less common outcome.
Redditor Otherwise-Spread-557 asked:
"'Gifted kids' and 'old souls', where are you now?"
Nowhere
"Working a dead-end job"
- JedLeland
"Welcome to the club. I don’t have anywhere for you to sit because we couldn’t afford it with our sh*t jobs."
- beingapersonoverhere
"Damn, that's a pretty specific coincidence."
- lycanthrope6950
Therapy
"in therapy"
- SeveralOnion8752
"Unpacking childhood trauma and abuse."
- Benrein
"Learning the difference between genuine drive and passion vs a race against my crippling fear of failure and if I stop running I die."
- testsubject347
Burnout City
"burnt out and constantly on the edge of a mental breakdown."
- xBoopyBean57x
"Hey me too! But don't worry I was voted mostly likely to succeed. I guess succeed by not having a mental breakdown weekly."
- drunkdayzee
"Same… Burnt out, riddled with performance anxiety, depressed and too introspective for it to be cute."
- Amethystine_3702
"Oh hey. We're gifted though. Looking back on it now, I wonder if "old soul" was just another way to say traumatized."
- towalktheline
Successful, But...
"PhD and working academic with an impressive list of anxiety-related disorders."
- More_Movies_Please
"Post doc here (well, actually, post my post doc), working in industry. Anxiety doesn't go away and now I get to deal with imposter syndrome! Thanks, brain!"
- Jeremiah_da_Bullfrog
"Hey me too! I still love what I do, and I’d be anxious either way. At least now I can be anxious and get to play with sweet equipment and work with students."
- Aaaaagh
"That's my perspective! I might as well teach and do what I love since the anxiety has made my chest its forever home."
- More_Movies_Please
Doing Quite Well, Actually
"I'm doing ok, actually. I make a six figure salary, have my dream job in an interesting field, have a great partner I adore and I'm relatively healthy. And I'm debt free other than my mortgage, I paid off 70k of student debt with no help from anyone."
"Of course I dropped out of the gifted program because I'm dyslexic and my mom told me I 'wasn't smart enough' to do some academic stuff I was interested in, so I'm partially fueled by spite here."
- blue_effect
"Ah yes, delicious spite. What got me to the top of first-year chemistry when my lecturer told me I'd fail her class 😈"
- NewttheCat
"Nothing drives me to succeed more than someone telling me I CAN’T do something."
- Sanchastayswoke
A Doctor
"Doctor, albeit one with severe depression that needed rehab."
- TravelsByNightAndDay
"One of us. One of us. No rehab since i don't respond well to drugs... but rest are checked off."
- bobbi21
"ICU/CVICU/RRT RN. I’m the friendly, experienced 'big sister' people go to for advice, help, and comfort. I’m the one they call to talk to the scary doctors, unreasonable family members, and belligerent patients."
"I’m they one they ask to have the This Isn’t Going To End Well talk with loved ones when a patient is actively dying. I work 3 jobs, 60-72 hours a week. I hide from my inner self and oppressive depression by being endlessly useful at my job."
"Isn’t not satisfying, it’s not enough, it doesn’t make me happy. But at least have so much going on that I don’t have time to dwell on what’s in my head."
- Ennui_Having_Fun_Yet
Older
"Older, stressed out, battling various mental health issues and neurodivergencies, and pretty lonely."
- Winter_Cheesecake158
"Is this the price of too much self reflection? What gives?"
- Arpeggioey
"Same here. Didn’t know I was autistic til I was 31. Would have loved to have known that way earlier."
"I look back at most of my GT classmates and go 'oh.' Graduated in 98, lots of us were missed."
"Now I struggle, but I’ve been working in the arts the past 3 1/2 years and finally feel like I belong. I’ll never make lots of money, despite being in the top 1% of test scores back in school."
- sunsetcrasher
The Imposter Syndrome Is Real
"Dealing with imposter syndrome every other week."
- ledlin99
"Man, I really felt this comment. I just keep moving forward a little bit each day trying to become what I think I should be. It turns out most of the others are doing the same thing."
-Manuel_Snoriega
"Oof, I feel this sh*t in my SOUL"
- MotherOfPiggles
Why Try
"Ok, by most measures. Work is boring, but stable and lucrative. I live in a modest house with my wife and our cats and am happy."
"I don't feel that I've lived up to my potential, but I got tired of pushing to be better and do better when no one around me seems to care to do the same. What good is it trying to do something novel and exciting at work if no one else is on board and you have to spend years building up influence and power to make even something small, but obviously best practice happen? Oh well."
- ScarySuit
"I definitely feel that. When I was younger, my classmates would jokingly refer to me as the person who would find the cure to cancer."
"My teachers were always pushing me aim higher and speculating on what I'd do with my life."
"The hardest realization I've had to make in my adult life is that I'll likely never do anything groundbreaking or particularly special in my career."
- deez-t*ts
Pretty Darn Great
"Happy, peaceful, content. Curious, engaged, enthusiastic. Found a good life, but it wasn’t by striving super hard for material wealth and status."
- sat-chit-ananda108
"I’m another happy old soul! Curiosity is key. All we need to do is grow and have fun in life."
"Old soul tiny kid. Now actually old. Had a bit of a tough time emotionally in my younger life, I was just overly sensitive and perceptive which caused all sorts of pointless angst. Things got way better over 40!"
- ohnobobbins
"I feel the same. I am not overly ambitious, and probably look from the outside to not have reached my potential (yet), but life is a long game and I am genuinely pretty content most of the time."
- greygreenblue
Being "gifted" definitely doesn't guarantee success, but happiness is out there.
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People Who Were Told They Were 'Gifted' As Kids Reveal The Moment They Knew They Were Just Average
Everybody wants to be thought of as special. Every parent believes their child is special and gifted beyond measure and the rest of the world needs to bask in the glory of their offspring. That can be a lot of pressure for children to battle. Their is no ONE definition that makes anyone special. What is special? Or gifted? Having the I.Q. of Einstein doesn't make you accomplished or define your humanity. So when we discover our brain power is just as good as anybody's we learn that other things can be far more important to survival.
Redditor u/JayTheFearless wanted to hear the truth from those who have discovered they aren't quite as brilliant as they were lead to believe by wondering.... People who were told they were "gifted" growing up, how did you deal with realizing that you were pretty average?