A recently deleted Redditor wanted to compare notes on parents, so they asked:
"What screams 'I’m a terrible parent?'"
I can't tell anyone how to be a parent.
But I have a few ideas on how to make a few tweaks.
recording homer simpson GIF"I'm SUPER fascinated in finding out how this generation of kids who are growing up with cameras in their faces turn out. Seeing as generations tend to do the opposite of how their parents raised them, it’d be funny if the babies born now, completely revolt against all things social media 😅."
WildflowerChickpea
Just Say It!
"Not saying sorry to your kid when you are in the wrong or made a mistake."
SuvenPan
"I used to struggle with this. I became so used to excusing my existence that I became habitually defensive. Admitting that I’m wrong is still a conscious effort for me."
"For my children, I try to model being magnanimous when getting something wrong; if they correct me and they’re obviously right, whether it be with discipline or information, I try to go out of my way to say I was wrong and thank them for telling me. I think I’m doing better? Hard to tell."
darklightner11
Crap Talk
"Talking crap about your ex in front of your kid."
Material_Ambition_95
"There was this woman who would rant about her ex-husband in front of her kids all. the. time. and their faces would look so sad and hurt. You may hate that man but your kids have part of his DNA and they take everything you say to heart. It's a poisonous and manipulative thing to do."
Antidote_to_Chaos
"Adding to that, telling your kid about the 2 fraudulent lawsuits you’re creating against their other parent. And telling them how you’re going to hire a private investigator against the other parent. All while ignoring the child when they tell you 'Don’t talk to me about -other parent- you’re making me uncomfortable.'"
Fluffy-kitten28
That's Funny?
"Filming your child trying to mock them only because 'it's funny' when it's clearly uncomfortable for them, and then post the video on the internet."
arrastre
"I was an assistant manager at Spirit Halloween a couple of years ago and there was a couple there who filmed their clearly terrified young child screaming and crying at the animatronics, and they laughed. It hurt my heart."
carlykerfuffle
"Those videos of kids happily sitting down to blow out birthday candles, and then a pr*ck slams their face in the cake. WTF."
jpr_jpr
Bye Bye Bye
Sport Soccer GIF by Real MadridGiphy"If their kids are older, and want nothing to do with them."
spicy-bae
"Mom screams at me to move out and never talk to her again if she is such a bad mother. I move out and never talk to her again. Surprised Pikachu face."
No_Scale7584
No communication between adult kids and parents, speaks volumes.
Listen Again
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"Defending every action/behavior of your kid without hearing the other party's side. It's obviously natural and important to listen to your child, but you should not be disregarding the fact that your kid can make mistakes and is not perfect."
LeonLunaLola
"Or, for that matter, believing every story you hear about your child, no matter how outlandish it may be."
notthesedays
It's YOU
"When you use your kids as emotional support figures or use them to cover your own irresponsibility. You had a 20-year head-start on your kid, yet they're already more responsible and mature."
Osteo-Malaka-cia
"I just got the image of my dad in my head while reading this. No wonder why I don't pick up that f**ker's phone call. It's unbelievable how someone over 50 y/o can have the financial responsibility of an 8-year-old in a candy shop."
Zahard_Zj
Rude
"Trying to gossip with one of your children about the other one."
LennaPine
"My mother did this with all of her children - me, my sister, and our two older half-brothers from my mom's prior marriages. Before I cut contact with her, she'd call me and would bash my sister for 15-20 minutes."
"Or she'd talk sh*t about one of my older brothers and their wives/children. My sister would mention to me how our mom talked sh*t about me while on a call, etc."
"It's because of that; none of us siblings really communicate with or trust each other. We either fully cut contact with our mom or severely minimized contact."
shaoting
Are You Serious?
"An idiotic name (circa AITA Krxtxl) or anything similar. Any parent I’ve ever seen who does this crap treats their kid like an accessory. iPad/phone parents. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against screen time but there has to be some boundary) I had a child in my last preschool class who literally ONLY spoke in YouTube quotes or video intro styles."
"I had to have him at age 4 permanently removed from my class for hockey fighting a kid and screaming 'It’s a prank f***er.' So yeah... there’s been a lot of varying degrees of screen obsession but that was one of the worst. That and the kid who hit my co-teacher in the face with a poop-filled hand for putting the iPads away for lunchtime."
Sea-Butterscotch383
No Excuses
No Way Smh GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"Parents not punishing their kids. All kids are different and some things might not work but if your child is actively disrespecting a teacher or physically hurting another person and your first thing is to make an excuse."
nope123ee
Parenting ain't easy.
No one said it was gonna be.
And sounds like some of us may need to rethink doing it.
Redditor DynastyLoops asked:
"What is the most f**ked up thing your parents said or did to you?"
When I was a waiter, the things I heard parents say... like, where is CPS?!
Broken Trust
Look Around Ok GIF by BounceGiphy"I haven't trusted you since the day you were born.' Not even sure what I did as an infant to lose her trust."
chesterlola2014
"I mean frankly small children aren’t very trustworthy in general but other than that yeah jeez."
Airsofter599
Not Much
"When you graduate high school, you’re either going to start paying rent or move out. I was working at freaking McDonald’s at the time so I’d be essentially homeless. I joined the navy the next day."
DakotaLazlo
No Harmony
"When I was 12 my dad took me to New Harmony State park to go fishing. He got drunk and passed out on a picnic table. After 5-6 hours he came to but was still trashed and he forced me to drive home. 1st ever driving experience. When I managed to help him into the car he passed out again within a few minutes. About 20 miles or so into the trip home we woke up. He looked over at me and kinda growled 'you little mother f*****' then he just started hitting me."
"He started crying as he was hitting me which made it even worse. I was scared to death. 12 years old driving down a highway, getting beaten while driving, and really hurting to see my dad in that condition. Idk if it’s the most messed up thing him or mom did but it definitely made the top ten list."
ProstheticNipples84
Unsettled
"My dad looked me in the eyes, said he settled for my mom, and that he would rather get drunk than be my father."
"My mom I'm conflicted on which it is, it would either be the time she hit me so much and so hard with a wooden spoon it broke, or the time I was excited about a book and tried to tell her and she said 'you're saying this like you actually think I care.'"
cloudysasquatch
For You
"My parents were not abusive or alcoholics by any measure. They were as caring as anyone could be. But the thing that f**ked me up was that they looked at us to pick sides between their arguments. And say stuff like 'we are together only for you etc.'"
"'Dude, we didn't tell you to marry each other. How is it my responsibility to maintain peace between you?' Ironically, my brother and I live in foreign countries and my parents have to take care of each other."
lawaythrow
This is too depressing.
How are people like this?
Brutal
"When I was 12, my father got really drunk, and told me that I was born to save his marriage, and that I was a failure for not doing so."
DamonSing
A Bad Spiral
"I was living with my parents at 16 years old and my older siblings were away at college/out of the country. My dad told my mom he was leaving her, and my mom went into a downward spiral of depression. My dad left the house leaving me with a very depressed mother to look after."
"I remember she locked herself in her room for 3 days, I begged her to open the door. I went in and fed her. My dad would come back occasionally to the house to get something for his new place. They told me to not tell a soul about their marriage falling apart, not even my siblings."
"One day I got home from school to an empty house. The police came saying they had a call from a counsellor saying that my mom is in danger and may hurt herself. I completely broke down. Luckily she didn't do that but she got checked into the hospital for a while. My dad stopped by that night and I told him about it, he kind of just shrugged."
"I was completely alone. It was a horrible time. We are all okay now though, thankfully."
Stunning_Attention82
Whoops...
"My mom lit something on fire and threw it on my shoulder. I still have a faint scar on my shoulder. She claims she didn't do it on purpose but didn't have any remorse. I was either 6 or 7 at the time."
Brave_Witness6834
"The Narcissist's Prayer. That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it."
Peircedprince
His Loss
"Parents are divorced. When I was 14 my dad told me he really only wanted one child. I'm the youngest of 3. It’s been 10 years since I’ve spoken to my dad. He’s a narcissist. Long story short, my dad never forgave any of us for basically forgiving our mom in the divorce, which we were all children at the time."
"It’s taken me a long time to deal with it all but my mom remarried 25 years ago and I feel very fortunate that my step-dad is the person I consider my dad. I got lucky. I used to feel sad for my dad but it really is his loss."
litt3lli0n
I Wanna Stay
"At 16 my mother took me out of school, made me get my GED so I would not be better than she was. They had to put the school on lockdown, because I was no longer a student and a threat to the school. All because I kept trying to fight it and trying to stay in school. My teacher walked me out and cried with me."
"I was a threat to the school Because I technically wasn’t a student anymore and I was still on school property. I thought if I kept going I could fight it so she couldn’t make me quit... but nope. She was my mother, I was a minor.. I lost. So I took my GED test, passed with A’s but in the late 90’s a GED was looked down on."
CinnamonMajesty
Gas Station Hero
My Hero Reaction GIF by MaytagGiphy"My dad kidnapped me and my brother and sister when we were little but my sister told a gas station employee and they locked us up and called my mom who was one state over and my dad had to drive to California without us."
olivetroubl3
Well I have never been more grateful for my mother. I will tell her.
Do you have any similar parental stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor odeus120 wanted to hear about the signs that make us see how some people should be raising their kids better.
"What screams trashy parents?"
Having waited tables, it's all a red flag. The list is too ling.
Oh Mother
Mean Girls Movie GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Mothers who see their daughter as competition."
Salt-Direction4885
"I see you've met my mom."
MYHAUNTEDPOCKET
On the Socials
"Social media influencers whose entire content is their children. People who publicly punish their kids online, parents who give out way too many details about their children giving them lack of privacy. Child exploitation at its finest."
Rooster-Wild
"There’s a lady on TikTok who posts constant videos of her daughter naked in the bath. Someone else called her out on it and how it’s only harming her daughter so what does she do? Turn off all comments so people will stop harassing her about taking down those videos. And keeps on posting for the pedos."
yorkiewho
The Trashers
"Kids running around a store trashing the place and not a parent in sight."
makeski25
"Many years ago when I worked at WalMart, parents would routinely 'drop off' their kids in the toy department and then just walk through the store, or, worse, go across the street to eat out or shop. So it wasn't unusual to see numerous unsupervised kids just wrecking the toy and sporting goods department."
"I once fussed at a manager to do something about a pair of kids who had put together a bunch of pool noodles and were running down aisle after aisle, just clearing the shelves and knocking stuff to the floor. Manager pulls the kids aside, parents show up, yell at the kids, and the manager comes to me and goes: 'well, I hope you feel better, you made me ruin that kid's night.'"
Blametheorangejuice
It's just a game...
"Cussing out the officials at a little league game. Telling your child to punch another player they tripped over."
SnooChipmunks126
"I coached t-ball, the kids were pre-k to 2nd grade. I had a mother inches from my face screaming at me because I asked her child to sit down for an inning... Because he was hitting kids in the head (with a helmet on) with a bat. It was one of the wildest things I had happen to me. Not the last though."
BitofaCrochetHooker
Any Pepsi?
Baby Drinking GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"When I waited tables in college, I saw a mother fill her young toddler’s bottle with Coca-cola. I thought it was just horrible."
lobsters_love_butter
This is a mess. At least it wasn't a Jack and coke.
Blame
Yup Thats Right GIF by Katelyn TarverGiphy"When their kids could literally set the world on fire and they'll blame anyone else to avoid responsibility."
Difficult_Shine3675
"My sister in law does this. Her kid could set someone on fire and she'd go 'well it's not HIS fault she has on such flammable clothes!'"
HavingALittleFit
Destruction
"Kids destroying other people's stuff/property and the parents are just standing there and laughing like it's a form of amusement. Once went into an older movie store and there was a child bashing the glass with his ball and throwing the movies all over the floors. The mother (presumedly) let her child continue to do that despite others' protests including the manager's. I don't fault the child, doesn't know any better. The mother should've been asked to leave the store with her son."
InfiniteWords117
Stop Yelling
"There is a kid (maybe 8-10 years old) on the other side of my street right now yelling slurs and telling everyone who walks by to go f**k themselves while their parent sits on the porch smoking weed and laughing. This is a regular occurrence. I'm fairly certain the kid has a mental disorder but the fact that the parent seems to be encouraging the behavior is pretty trashy."
SternCoats
The Stench
"Kids that smell like smoke because their parents smoke indoors. It was my parents. Everybody hated when we came over because everything we'd touch would smell like cigarettes as well. Couldn't convince my parents to smoke outside of the home because 'it's their house and they'll do as they please.'"
bumblingbirdy
Control
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"Parents emotionally blackmailing their kids. Using guilt and obligation to control their children."
SuvenPan
We know that raising a family is hard, but these folks need to do better for their kids.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.