It is universally understood that an invitation to someone's home is an honor.
Whether it is a family member or a friend, a guest entering a person's private property should treated it with the utmost respect.
Or at least you would think.
There is always the reckless child who is left unsupervised and "accidentally" destroys a precious tchotchke, or the clumsy friend who spills red wine all over your white couch while mildly tipsy.
And owning a white couch is neither here nor there, so don't ask me why I'm still bitter about that "hypothetical" party foul.
Wondering about the manner in which house guests have made messy exits, Redditor itzzyoboijg asked:
"People of Reddit, what was the worst way a guest left your home?"
Deep Fried Floor
"Had a friend who stayed over after a drunken night out, he decided in the middle of the night that he wanted some potato waffles (fair enough) and he wanted them deep-fried (fair enough), but somehow he managed to knock the fryer off the counter and tip the manky oil all over the kitchen floor. He then left without telling anyone what had happened."
"First I knew of it was when I nearly broke my ankle slipping in the grease the next morning. It took hours to clean and the kitchen smelt like a chipshop until we moved out."
Permanent House Guests
"The worst guests are the ones who don't leave."
"I have a friend who does this. He's a good friend and understands when you say "i gotta go". But he doesn't know when he should go home. Once he stayed in my place until 12. I was tired af and just wanted to sleep, and kept making hints as to not directly say it. But he didn't take the hint lol
Disrespecting Property
"Personally, it was when family members' children broke items in my home. Every time, the children didn't say a word about breaking anything, so my siblings and I would find them after they left. When confronting the children, they usually admit to breaking them, but the parents still denied responsibility and that their child could do no harm."
"It seems minor, but it can get really annoying finding broken toys/glass/objects/etc. in your home, worrying about if it's all of it, and not being able to show sadness/anger when some of the items that were broken had sentimental value to you."
The Keurig Cup Incident
"College student here who lives in a pretty nice house with 4 other people."
"One of my roommates would consistently have friends over who would trash the place. Track dirt through the house cause they didn't take their shoes off, would drink and leaves cans and bottles all over the floor, left McDonald's half eaten burgers on the couch. Basically treated the place like a garbage can."
"The final straw for them coming over was hiding my other roommates Keurig cups around the house. They never let us know where they all were so one day we went to heat the oven up not knowing there was one in there and the plastic melted all in the oven."
"The house smelt like sh*t for the rest of the day. They were not allowed over after that."
Puke-Soaked Mattress
"Had some people over for a small party, including the new guy at work. All's good, everyone has fun, including new guy who gets behind quite a few drinks and by 1:00 AM is down for the count. No problem, happy to have him stay, we get him moved into the spare bedroom to sleep it off."
Next day I'm up cleaning up and new guy comes out of the bedroom, looking a little rough. I ask him how he is, he mumbles that he's okay but has a headache and needs to leave. Offer him breakfast, he says no, he has some important stuff to do and splits. I glance in the bedroom, see he's kind of made the bed, figure I'll get the sheets off it and wash them later. I get dressed and head out."
"Come back a few hours later and go into the spare bedroom and notice a smell - peel back the covers to see that dude had puked all over the bed, I mean he f'king painted it. Then he just pulled up the covers and left. No f'king responsibility, didn't even tell me, just left my spare bed and mattress to ferment in his raunchy puke."
"Got to work on Monday, told him he's a total f'king a**hole and he owes me for new sheets, in front of the whole department. Made him pay up, then told him not to talk to me again. It pretty much killed his relationship with the whole team, he left a few months later."
– dbradx
"Fast Food Bathroom Blowups"
"Less a voluntary guest and more had a company guy over to look at one of my appliances. He asked if he could use the bathroom and I was a little wary but I'm not a monster who forces techs to drive up the street to the gas station to take a crap so I said go ahead."
"I'm pretty sure after he went back outside to finish working, I could hear the toilet softly weeping from behind the closed door. My guy just completely demolished my porcelain with doodoo. It was early morning, so I guess me being the first appointment of the day meant my bathroom was on the receiving end of some morning coffee stomach distress. It was like one of those fast food bathroom blowups you sometimes walk into when you go there for lunch and have to pee. Just...in my personal bathroom."
"I just kind of...quietly backed out and closed the door. He finished working and after he left I put some gloves and a mask on and solemnly went in to clean up because it's the only bathroom in my house. When I got the bill I kind of wanted to ask if there was a 'toilet destroyer' discount I could get but I didn't want to embarrass anyone."
Lost Cat
"The worst was a house guest of several days who let our indoor cat outside while we were at work."
"We had told him that the only 'house rule' was never to let the cat out as he's an indoors only cat (has never been outside on his own)."
"This guy actually thought it was somehow 'amusing' that we were so upset over our lost cat. The guest was ushered out immediately, never to be heard from again."
Thief
"With my debit card. Seriously just 3 nights ago a friend I had met when I moved to this neighborhood last year took it out of my wallet and left while I was in the bathroom. Thank God for text notifications and the allow card transactions button in my bank's app."
Unsanitary Store Guest
"Once a motherf'ker didn't wash his f'kin hands after using the bathroom, i sent him to do so but refused to by saying his d!ck was cleaner than most of my stuff, then he went on to touch everything, he went from friend to customer to a customer i charge extra because after he comes i have to deep clean."
– Bndr9803
Old Enough To Know Better
"A friend of a now-ex gf was down on his luck and I decided to throw him a few bones. We wanted to go to renfest and go on a weeklong mead fueled bender, so I asked him to housesit for a week. I paid him cash up front, loaded the fridge with good food, gave him a generous Walmart gift card to help him with his wardrobe (his clothes were in tatters), and even paid to get his acoustic guitar fixed."
"After a week we came back to find the house was strewn with clothes, all of the food in my fridge was untouched and going bad, and he and his buddies had spent the money on hot pockets, soda and video games. barely any of the wrappers, boxes, and cans made it into the trash because he didn't empty the garbage when it filled up. There was a new stench in the house that took a carpet steaming session to get rid of. The dude was in his mid thirties."
Cigarettes And Sh*t
"My mom's brother and his wife came to stay with us for a few months when we were kids. It was already shitty that my sister and I got forced out of our room to make way for them, but these motherf****** completely trashed it. After months of sleeping on the couch we come back in and it's almost unfit to inhabit. The walls are stained with nicotine, there's cigarette burns in our mattresses, ash and mummified cat shit was embedded in the carpet! We had to sleep in the living room again for an extra month while our room aired out and it still smelled like cigarettes and shit for the rest of the year."
Damage Done In An Hour
"I have a buddy who takes no responsibility for anything he does. We don't invite places. He is funny and charming but literally insane when it comes to his own fault in things.He came over to my house once with his dog while I was out. I was gone for maybe an hour and I came back and he had accidentally thrown a baseball through my window and his dog chewed up a couch cushion. When I asked if he was going to pay for the window or fix my couch and he said it was my fault for inviting him over and left."
Hard To Hate
"A friend of mine brought a new friend over. Who proceeded to run around into rooms he shouldn't have been in. We caught him eating leftovers off the table. He left trash everywhere. And even ripped up my tennis ball. Needless to say he eventually became my best friend and is a good pupper."
Why We Stay Away From Meth
"I Invited a distant friend into my house for a few weeks while they were moving to my state. Instead of finding a place of his own, his tactic was to find a vulnerable woman who would let him move in with her for free. (D*ck & drugs was rent $ in his mind)"
"He started bringing strange women into my home without my knowledge, to have sex. I caught him abusing one of these poor women in a drug rage. Reason: She refused sex after he got her high. I told them both to leave my house and not come back. He decided this was a great moment to tell me that 'his room' was 'his domain.' I disagreed. I threatened to call the cops on them both and they left quickly. His room was disgusting.
"I ended the friendship immediately with no remorse. I casually monitored his social media and watched him breeze through four more unfortunate women. Using them up completely until they upset him. A con man in the truest sense."
"He died a few months after I kicked him out, in a drug influenced auto accident..."
Oh, the things people say.
Sometimes you wonder if people have the capability to think before they speak.
It's an especially thorny issue in relationships.
Redditor Human02211979 wanted men to share about the things they're over women saying, so they asked:
"What's a phrase men hate hearing from women?"
I don't dabble with the ladies.
I feel like I'm about to be glad about that.
Thoughts?
season 6 episode 24 GIFGiphy“'Do you know why I pulled you over?'”
WHEENC
"It depends on how long you were following me."
ersomething
Just Pick!
"The food thing."
"'I'm not hungry or you pick... but not there not there not there not there or there.'"
"It's one of the most widely joked about relationship tropes... but it has to be one of the truest. I watched two married friends this weekend almost lose it over this lol."
HotelRwandaBeef
"Frustrating for anyone in a relationship whose partner does this. I'm a woman and my male fiancée can't make a decision about food to save his life, almost literally. If you put him in a room with his 2 favorite foods and told him he can't eat until he chooses one, he would starve to death. It makes me freaking crazy."
forestfairygremlin
Not Good Enough
“'They couldn’t handle me.'”
"Relationships are about building each other up, not constantly having to deal with the other person’s attitude or poor behavior/mental health. This is not as much of a flex as a lot of people think it is and raises major red flags for me."
OreoKing10
"Dude this is so true, God *amn its true. These type of girls who say that are ONLY trouble and have no insight to why they act like they do. Its mental."
TheZwoop
“nothing”
"'How can you not think anything, you must be hiding something.'"
SuvenPan
"I mean sometimes it’s nothing but most of the time 'nothing' is just a random situation that makes no sense that I’m thinking of in my mind. I don’t know why I’m trying to think which animal would be the best drift racer and I don’t know where to start explaining the thought process behind it or how I even got there."
ThePowerPoint
Say Nothing
quiet tim and eric GIFGiphy"'Do you like my friend?' Because it always ends up in an argument either way."
nothinglasts21
Oh that is a dangerous setup.
It's a Trap
the office no GIFGiphy"'Tell me what you are thinking. Do I look fat? Be honest.'"
illini02“
"'As a modern woman, you do not need a man to validate your self-image. Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself whether or not you look fat.'"
Jedi_Master_Baggins
Start Over
"Are you even listening to me, and I think to myself what a weird way to start a conversation."
bigfish3636
"I sometimes forget that whenever my boyfriend is doing something like reading the paper, I have to get his attention BEFORE I start talking. Often ends in me talking for a minute before noticing an all too familiar blank stare on his face which prompts the question 'did you get any of that?' and then he repeats the last three words in an unsure cadence. Then I start from the beginning, lol."
shadythrowaway9
Nonsense
“'How are you still single, you’re a great guy?' Hear it a bunch from some women friends of mine. I always just brush it off but kinda stings a bit more each time."
AverageJames
"I lived in a big house with lots of roommates. We had this big vent one night. We were going to go bar hopping but all the girls vented about how often they were bothered and hit on at bars. How they needed to go in groups to feel safe. And they never could go to just have fun with each other."
"2 weeks later I mentioned how frustrating dating can be at group dinner. There was a communal laugh about how easy it was. 'Literally just go to any bar.'"
DigNitty
Not my Owner
"Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn’t do this but don’t ever say you 'trained' your boyfriend or even friend to do something. Friendships and relationships are a great way to have a different perspective and take things on in different ways. To say you trained your friend or boyfriend is incredibly dehumanizing and makes you seem incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Plus, you didn’t 'train' your boyfriend to use conditioner, you just made him realize that even though he doesn’t think it’s significant in his value system, it isn’t worth the fact you keep bugging him about it."
DuncanRobinson4MVP
Oh Lord
Come On Man GIF by IdentityGiphy"'I was thinking...'"
"Whenever my wife says that means I'm gonna be doing something that I don't want to."
Revolutionary-Rip-40
"And it's always 'I was thinking we should...' There's no WE here, just come out and tell me what I will be doing."
BusterOfBuyMoria
Know your warning signs gents...
Anything else anyone would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down What Their Life Would Be Like If They Married The Person They Lost Their Virginity To
The first time having sex can be wonderful or excruciatingly awkward.
Maybe there is an in-between there.
But more often than not, it's not a fairytale, and that person becomes a memory.
What if they stayed more than a memory?
Ever think about life with that person?
Fairytale or nightmare?
Redditor Pristine_Arm_898 wanted to know if anyone had ever played the what if game, so they asked:
"If you were forced to marry the person you lost your virginity to, how would your life be going right now?"
My first and I together would make no sense...
Cheers?
Drunk That 70S Show GIF by PeacockTVGiphy"I would be richer but much more miserable. I'd probably be trying to drink myself to death."
banvillesghost
No Regrets
"I think it would have been just fine. She was/is a wonderful woman. But I wouldn't trade the 40 years I had with my late wife, including all the ups and the downs, for anything in the world. And when she left me, she left me with two wonderful sons and two fantastic grandchildren."
Maxsdad53
"Same here. I was with a person I loved and if it would go on it would be nice. We split because love didn't last and if it would, it should be just fine. Now I am in relationship i wouldn't trade for the previous big love. I'm happy where I am. No regrets."
Livid_Tailor7701
Misery
"Not good. He was a sweet down-to-earth dude who turned into a massive a**hole after he landed an amazing job opportunity and his dad got him a flashy car. It's like he turned into the biggest douche overnight and then dumped me over the phone probably because he thought he was now out of my league. My heart was broken, but life goes on."
"I learned many years ago that he lost this high profile job, and because he got this job through nepotism and not because he actually knew what he was doing, he couldn't find the same type of job or at least work in the same field."
"He got recommended by a company to get a degree (which they would sponsor) so he could return to the industry but he refused because he was under the impression that he knows more than everyone yada yada."
"He did nothing about the situation and ended up working at a gas station where he still is now, all these years later. I can't imagine how someone with this attitude could be a good partner in life. I would have been miserable."
Stuck_on_venus
The Good Guy
"It might be ok, but not nearly as good as it is now. He’s a great person and I’m still in contact with him, but we weren’t meant to be together forever."
HearTheCrushingSteel
"This is how I feel too. He was/is a great guy. His family is awesome and all my family loved him. Sadly I didn’t! I got a lot of flack for breaking his heart, but after me, he met his now wife and they’ve got a lovely family. I met my now husband around the same time and we’ve got 3 kids. I think we both thought we were happy together but I’m glad we got a chance to realise we were simply contented."
WeeBo2804
Forevers
Smooch Love GIF by molehillGiphy"The same. We are married."
polarbearsforpets
"Same here. We were quite young when we lost our virginities together 15 and 16. Been together for 7 years and married for 2."
InXXu_
Sometimes it's forever.
'Nienka'
Confused Wile E Coyote GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"I’d be looking for my wife."
Shoe_mocker
"Surprised I had to scroll this far down to find this response (assuming you mean what I think you mean)."
"A one night stand with a Dutch foreign exchange student. I woke up and she was gone. A note said 'Nienka' with a heart drawn underneath. That was more than half my lifetime ago."
Various-Month806
Legit
"Probably would have been awesome for a year or two - she was a legit Penthouse centerfold girl. Guarantee she would have got bored with me and moved on pretty quickly. Then I probably would have gravitated back to the path I've been on for the last 40 years and ended up right where I am."
Earthling1a
Seems to be happy...
"I’ve thought about this from time to time. She ended up getting engaged a few times but never married. Ended up getting pregnant from a sperm donor and has been a single mom by choice for the last decade. Recently she came out not exactly as transgender but more like non-binary. Seems to be happy. I honestly have no idea what would have happened if we’d ended up together. I didn’t and still don’t want kids so that may have been a stumbling block. Also I had severe wanderlust after graduating from university and ended up on the other side of the country."
"Not sure if I would have been interested in staying in our home town and I’m pretty sure she never had any interest in leaving. So… either things would have hit some major roadblocks and we’d have split up after a few years. Or maybe I’d end up comfortable and lose the desire to move away and maybe settle down and have kids. Unlikely though."
bg-j38
Bye Sanity
"The guy I lost my virginity to is Turkish, and we broke up partly because his mum hated my guts because he wasn't dating someone of their own religion, and then partly because I discovered he had a 'thing' for girls like Bella Poarch and who acted like her. So if I married him? I wouldn't know sanity if it smashed me in the head with a brick rolled in glue, then dipped in a bowl of razor blades and lemon juice."
jamieeet
Like A...
Sexy Queen Of Pop GIF by MadonnaGiphy"She married someone else. Divorced them, married me, divorced me when someone better off came along. So, if I was forced to marry her now, apart from the bigamy, it would mean I'd have to be a lot better off, financially, than I am actually am."
NiceinJune
Sometimes that person is the best and worst.
The longer couples are together, the more creative they have to be to have quality time together.
But quality time isn't always what other people think it will be.
Curious about the deeply intimate moments, Redditor Glittering_Age_9045 asked:
"What do couples do when they shower together?"
Personal Care
"I have disabilities that make standing for more than 60 seconds (especially in a hot, humid environment like a shower) very painful for me, so my husband showers with me to help me get clean."
"He washes my hair, scrubs me down, and makes sure I'm all taken care of. Do sexy things happen?? Occasionally, but for us, showering together is an act of deep love and care. I appreciate him endlessly for it."
- v_4_valhalla
Greatest Form of Intimacy
"This is what showers and baths turned into for me and my husband as he approached the end. During our last shower together, I shaved his facial hair for him, and it was just very intimate. I knew I had to cherish that moment, even though I didn't know it would be the last one."
"We'd always joked to each other that washing each other's hair is the greatest form of intimacy (quote from 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'), even way before he got sick, but it really was true."
"Oops, now I'm tearing up at work!"
"We were both 30 when he passed, only four months ago. F**k cancer!"
- go-with-the-flo
Romantic Jokes
"One says, 'This is so romantic,' while the other nods and shivers."
- churchin222999111
Support System
"I bought a shower chair, because if I'm gonna freeze, I'm gonna be comfortable. Then I bought a shower head with a stationary head AND an extended one."
"We talk about stuff, we play, we laugh, everything. It started during the pandemic when I was extremely depressed. I'd take a shower to cry away from the kids. Then he'd start taking them with me at night and just hold me while I cried."
"Now our showers are much happier."
- ThrowMeAway_8844
How the Time Flies
"I awkwardly wait there while waiting for my girl to finish with her hair."
- BurningRoast
Water Temperature Disagreements
"My husband pretty much boils himself, it's crazy, and then he calls my regular warm water 'ice cold.' I love showering together but I do wish he would be a bit less of a hot water person."
- OddCupofTea
Define "Hot"
"My husband walked in on me taking a bath the other night and the first thing he said was, 'Woah. It's super hot in here,' to which I, of course, replied, 'It isn't even that warm."
- AnnieBannieFoFannie
Hot Girl Problem
"You take your first shower together, and you realize your girlfriend is actually the spawn of Satan and connects with her homeland through the boiling of her own flesh until her mask has been washed away and her skin is as red as the devil himself."
"A milestone in every relationship."
- Anymonimous
Shower Jokes
"Spin in circles, making silly noises, while the other person says, 'Rotisserie chicken!'"
- GastontheBeast
Unique Shower Set-Ups
"We have two shower heads. It is great. And seats built into each side. Came with the house."
"It is glorious to be able to sit down and relax with one shower running over your head and back while the second shower keeps your front and legs warm."
"But you run out of hot water twice as fast. SIGH. And every kid in the house insists on using the ensuite cause the shower is “better.” Can’t really disagree with their logic, to be fair."
- stiletto929
Taking Turns
"Shuffle round and round, taking turns to be cold and warm like f**king penguins."
- Defiant_Hawk_9892
Enjoying Each Other's Company
"10 years together, married a year, and lived together for about six years. We always shower together, and that’s where we catch up on each other's day, vent, or just talk and enjoy each other's company."
- doggiechewtoy
Good Memories
"Shower conversations are the best. My ex and I would end up just holding each other under the running water, talking about bills or plans or some such nonsense. I miss that. It was incredibly cathartic."
- saintlyknighted
Married Routine
"My husband and I shower together every single day. It's not even sexual or romantic, it's literally for hygienic reasons. We started showering together when we were dating and it never stopped."
"Even when we're fighting, which forces us to talk about the issue. It's kind of nice being trapped in a small area with no other distractions."
- redwhiteandchill
Good Conversations
"This made me remember the time my husband and I spent half an hour in the shower discussing whether or not lobsters are sentient."
- kincaidinator12
While many people may think of two people to get into a shower together for far more intimate activities, these couples might argue that their showers together are already intimate enough. All aspects of a couple's relationship are important, but it's nice to set aside time specifically to talk and reconnect.
Cinema aficionados love to enjoy discussing and engaging in debates about their respective favorite films.
While there are many excellent movies in historical cinema, fans also enjoy trash-talking the absolute worst films ever made.
What they don't disclose, however, is the fact that they embarrassingly enjoy campy films and appreciate revisiting them behind closed doors.
Curious to hear about the films moviegoers secretly enjoy and appreciate while being cognizant of the fact that they're total garbage, Redditor HorsesSuck120 asked:
"What movie do you enjoy that you will 100% agree is a bad movie?"
Action movies don't aim to win an Oscar. Nevertheless, there's definitely an audience for them–even the really bad ones.
We Dig That One-Liner
"The Core. I’m paraphrasing here, but there’s a portion in the movie where everyone says it can’t be done; but one guy takes a drag on a cig and says: 'but what if…we could'. The entire movie progresses on that point."
– tucktan
Oldie But Goodie
"Flash Gordon was released in 1980, but re-released this year in 4K. Bad, but in the best way. (And that Queen soundtrack!)"
–NumericTrack9
It Kept Their Afloat
"Deep Blue Sea. I mostly enjoy that one unexpected scene. Check it out!"
– shiru2k1
Priceless Cast
"Street fighter with Raul Julia as Bison and Kylie Minogue as Cammy."
"Oh, and a Samoan bloke as E Honda, because 90’s."
– Molongoloid
From Zero To 60
"Gone in 60 Seconds . Say what you will , but I can watch this everyday."
– kindalikeacoustic
Campy films will always have a place in some moviegoers' hearts.
Dumb And Fun
"Fool’s gold. It’s a dumb movie that makes no sense but for some reason I go back and watch it at least once a year and enjoy it every time."
– milkynipples69
Can't Beat Funny
"Accepted. It's terrible and hilarious, has Justin Long at the peak of his teen movie years, and features Lewis Black as a version of himself as a jaded professor. So good."
– burnt00toast
We Love Ah-nold
"Batman & Robin is certainly a bad movie. I love it so much. It’s worth watching for Arnold and his puns alone. But the whole movie is just campy fun."
– randomnbvcxz
Sometimes we prefer the quantity of fantasy and animation films–regardless of quality.
Chilly Reception
"You know what killed the dinosaurs?"
"The ICE AGE"
– mr_blanket
Extraordinarily Egregious
"League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's so much fun and I love the Nautilus."
– jim_deneke
Wolverine Wouldn't Approve
"Van Helsing. It's Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale ala the glory days of 2004. It's got a 27% on rotten tomatoes,. 6/10 on IMDb but there's something about the dry jokes smattered in what's supposed to be high tension scenes, or scenes of sexual tension. The special effects aren't the greatest but at the same time it also adds to the experience."
– Jakows
Hands down, the worst movie ever made in my opinion has to be the campy 1995 erotic film noir Showgirls directed by Paul Verhoeven.
The trite premise and performances in the unintentionally comedic drama were so embarrassing to watch, but the movie wound up becoming more entertaining for those reasons.
Elevating the rewatchable factor of Showgirls is the DVD commentary by solo comedy performer David Schmader, who leaves plenty of repeatable quotes that are absolutely hilarious.
Highly recommended viewing.