People Divulge Their Worst 'Sh*t, I'm Dating A Crazy Person' Experience
You guys ever stop and take a long look at your relationship and suddenly realize you REALLY need an eject button? Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us... aaand literally everybody in this article.
Personally, I once dated someone who habitually broke into my house to "surprise" me with gifts that I didn't want or like. Coming home to twelve dozen roses sounds romantic ... but it really hits a nerve when you have repeatedly explained that you don't like roses. That's especially true if that nerve is frayed because you have asked your partner repeatedly to not enter your home without you, you didn't give them a key, and you have no idea how they keep getting in.
It's hard to see something as romantic when it feels designed to remind you that your boundaries are meaningless, you're not safe in your own home, and your partner doesn't actually care what you like - only what they have decided you should like.
Reddit user Smokey asked:
What was your "Oh shit I'm dating a crazy person" moment?
So many reddit users have experiences with abusive, narcissistic, and just plain strange partners ... and that's to say nothing of the person who totally stole a car but didn't seem to understand why that was wrong because they were just "borrowing" it - without permission.
Speaking of cars, those of you curious about how things ended with the Rose Bandit ... when I broke up with him his mother tried to guilt my parents into paying her a few hundred dollars to cover the cost of breaking off some arranged marriage he allegedly had. Also, he airbrushed my name across the front of his car - months after we split up.
Yeah. That was a doozie; so are all of these stories.
When Dad Gets Involved
"Compared to the more hilarious things, mine is a little more serious and depressing. My first serious relationship was in college and at first she treated me well. After a while things turned emotionally abusive but me being naive and also easy to manipulate, I didn't see it. She turned me against a lot of my friends and family."
"Side note but important: my dad has been through some terrible relationships in the past including my mom. He's usually a very quiet person and usually lets me figure out my mistakes on my own."
"My real wake up moment was when I was on the phone having a fight with her, and she was literally berating me and my dad stomped into my room and shouted loud enough for her to hear "this is NOT what you deserve and she isn't worth it!"
"I left her about a week later once I was able to get all my sh*t from her apartment. When my calm, collected father gets involved I know something isn't right. She ended up getting into another relationship like two months after I left, and looking back on everything, she probably had some seriously unresolved PTSD from her childhood. I hope she got the help she needs, but I sure hope she isn't abusing her current significant other."
Fake
"He tried faking his suicide to get my attention. When I figured out he was leaving me on read after he was "turning off his phone to go overdose." (or whatever his method was, I can't be bothered to remember. I told him I knew he was faking and that he and I were over."
"He tried to apologize a week later, but I didn't forgive him. I thanked him for his apology and told him I didn't accept it, then stopped talking to him. Now I'm dating the best guy I've ever met."
- aolearyy
Pat Pat
"I realized it as I was sitting on the windowsill of the 2nd floor wondering if I would die if I hit the pavement."
"Thankfully, I snapped back to reality and realized that I shouldn't sacrifice my happiness for a manipulative douche that forces me to work while he had no job, clean his house, and made me do humiliating things ... like dry him off after he takes a shower. He insisted I try him by saying "pat pat" and patting him with a towel. He seriously got pissed when I told him I wouldn't do it anymore and said it was a sign that I loved him and he would think I didn't love him anymore of I didn't do it."
"I started planning my escape since my parents lived a 12 hr drive away. I told them to get me 4 months from the time I texted them because it would give me time to get out of there to a safe place and I would send the safe address to them when they were ready to leave and drive to me. I waited till he fell asleep 3 days before they would be there, threw all my stuff into trash bags and threw it off the back porch where a friend waited below with a van and I booked it. I shut my phone off for the next week and when I turned it on he asked where I was and I said far away from you."
Stitches And Shakespeare
"She ran after me with a knife and broke through a window on a door, cutting herself as I was trying to get outside and away. It was because I was playing video games instead of listening to her, if I remember correctly. My dad kicked the knife away and we got her to the ER."
"We were together for 6 depressing years. I was young and committed I guess. Moved in together for 4 of those and one day she randomly breaks up with me by writing a letter and leaving a copy of "A Midsummer Night Dream" and then completely ghosted me."
- Sinjhin
Dodging A Silver Bullet
Giphy"She legit thought she was a werewolf and broke up with me because Valentines Day was on a full moon, I didn't find out she thought she was a werewolf until after we broke up. My best friend knew the entire time but he "forgot."
"Her friends also thought they were really a fairy. There were more in their group but I forget what they thought they were. Pretty sure I dodged one hell of a bullet"
- Lynnatan
Hanging Out With Dad
"We were in the very beginning of dating. We were still getting to know each other and we had opposing schedules so we could only speak by text. We would speak every day and we got along great."
"I went to dinner with my dad one night and usually when my dad and I get together we talked A LOT which means I don't really look at my phone. About an hour into the diner I decided to check my phone to realize the person had texted me about 11 times asking me where I was, who I was with, why I wasn't answering him."
"I simply texted that I was sorry, but I hadn't seen my father in a long time. He was furious that I wouldn't tell him that and he thought I had left him for someone else. Needless to say I broke it off immediately after. I mean we had only been talking for about 2 weeks."
Highlander
"Dated a girl who was convinced that she was an immortal (Like the Highlander) and that she was a part of a secret society who "rode the lighting" and that she would show me her powers one day soon."
"So...I figured out that it was time to peace out ASAP and man; did it get weird and clingy for like 2-3 weeks."
"Definitely a yikes in retrospect lol"
A Wild Two Weeks
"When they tried to emotionally manipulate me into helping them indulge in their fantasies about urine and bestiality and then tried to convince me to run away with/marry him and let him get me pregnant."
"All of this happened within two weeks of dating."
Hmmmmm
"Was living in an east Asian country about 10 years ago"
"Used to hook up with this older woman from time to time. One time want back to her place and she said I could just live with her. Then she said since I was handsome she wouldn't like me going out, so I can just get my stuff and stay with her forever. Hmmmmmmmmm."
"Then she said, with full sincerity, that I could wear a little collar and just be like her pet. HMMMMMMMMMM"
Therapy
"I was struggling with anxiety/depression when I started dating this guy. We ended up living together and staying together for a few years. I guess in hindsight I would say we got together when I was at a very lonely/rock bottom sort of place."
"I would talk about wanting to try therapy and he would always tell me, "Therapy is stupid. You're just talking to some stranger about your life. You can just talk to me..." and other things of that nature. Therapy = bad. He should be enough to "fix" me."
"I did end up getting much better without therapy after finding financial stability through a job I enjoyed going to. However, we would always fight. He was basically the worst part about my life but he was very emotionally manipulative."
"My "A-ha" moment was when I was trying to break up with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He said he would work on himself, so I suggested couples therapy as a last resort. He then turned the tables on me and said... "Yeah... maybe you DO need therapy."
"Not us. Me. It just creeped me out. I could never put a finger on why the thought of "he might kill me" would pop into my head during fights. But something about the way he had held onto this weakness of mine for years and then threw it in my face was so calculated and narcissistic... I sometimes wonder if he was a psychopath."
Pennies
"We had gone out a few times and he was such a gentleman. He was really handsome and was always saying the right thing at the right time."
"I did see him turn red a couple times over insignificant things, but I thought it was nerves. No biggie."
"He kept a 32oz cup full of pennies in the cup holder of the car. I commented on it, he just laughed and said that it was his catch-all."
"One night we went out for a little bit and a few small things happened...like he hit his elbow, the waitress knocked over a glass nearby, a car passed too close as we walked, he dropped the keys trying to open the car... etc. Eventually his mood got worse and worse til he was boiling and driving like a maniac."
"Another driver made him mad, so my date quickly switched lanes to pass the car on the right. He then reached down and grabbed a handful of pennies and threw them at the other car."
"We were going 65 on a bridge."
Saved By Cysts
"As a bigger fella with not a lot of confidence, I never dated during my school years. When I finally started dating, my first relationship went fast. During 6 months, she moved in with me and my family, lost her job and tried to distance me from my family."
"After my parents asked us to pitch in for car insurance, she lost it shit and started talking really badly about them. I snapped. I finally broke up with her that night and kicked her out of my house."
"This is where I finally see the crazy part, strangers."
"She texts me that she's pregnant and she's going to sue me for child support unless I bring her back to the house and reinstate our relationship. This would have been terrifying for my 19 year old self as a college student with no money. But then I remember something she told me early in our relationship: She has cysts in her ovaries that make it impossible for her to get pregnant."
"Nice try."
Elite Child Militia
"This wasn't a date but it was a friendship. Had a classmate that I got along with fairly well and I had his number so I could get notes and whatever. We started texting back and forth and he starts calling me. It started innocent but got really weird really quick. We both have issues with depression and he said he was in a rough spot. Okay, yeah been there so I tried giving him someone to listen to."
"He started telling me about his time in this elite child militia that worked for the secret service. How he was dealing with ptsd from his trips to get biological weapons out of the middle east. He was an elite soldier apparently, taught in ninjustu and Krav Maga. He was a one man killing machine and his old captain was trying to get him back in the field."
"He freaked me out, started telling me I was the only person that understood him and that he could rely on me. He was seconds away from confessing love. Keep in mind, he knew I was engaged. I got off the phone, deleted his number and never contacted him again."
Kittens
Giphy"At an outdoor restaurant having a nice lunch by the ocean. Only 2 tables in the place. My BF and I are sitting across from each other chatting. Over his shoulder behind him 2 kittens begin to romp and play in the grass couple yards away. We continue our conversation but my eyes are drawn to the kittens, not ignoring him at all, simply not making eye contact. All of a sudden he slams his glass on the table making everyone in the restaurant jump and says, "Should I just have the bus boy come over here so you can sit on his lap?"
"Confused I asked what? He started yelling at me loudly about how I obviously couldn't take my eyes off the bus boy. I was shocked and embarrassed. I said "You mean the 60 year old guy bussing tables? Yeah call him over, I'd love to show him the 2 kittens behind you playing in the grass you jerk."
"I got up and left. I had driven us both there; he walked home fuming. It only lasted a couple more weeks after that and that was all spent planning my escape."
Grazed
"I dated a guy who lived about three hours away. We had visited each other's towns and as mature adults, this was an acceptable setup."
"Until he showed up in the middle of the day on a Tuesday (he had a m-f 9-5) and demanded that I pack my stuff and come with him because society was getting ready to collapse. I had horses and dogs and he told me to leave them behind because when the food supply went they would just be eaten anyway."
He told me he had a bunker prepared with three years worth of food, supplies and ammunition."
""I went into the other room and called the police to come and take his crazy *ss out of there. I ended up with a restraining order and I eventually moved because he wouldn't stop."
"I wouldn't say I dodged a bullet; I was definitely grazed."
- Holaroo
Satisfaction
"When they told me they imagined killing me. They wouldn't actually do it, but it brought them a sense of satisfaction. Not because I was driving them crazy, but because I was attractive to them."
Clearly
"I dated a girl for a month. I had a daughter on the way from a previous relationship. She knew this and was cool with it. Then when I posted a pic of me holding my daughter on Facebook, she flipped saying she couldn't be with me cause "it's clear I love my daughter more than her."
"I mean... she was right."
One Direction
"I dated this guy who clearly seemed insecure mostly of his looks after this situation. So, I was obsessed with One Direction at the time, in their fetus phase. I had posters all over my walls, even on the ceiling, a few in the locker, some on my notebooks, eh you get the point."
"Anyways, we were FaceTiming one night and he saw all the posters and started just going OFF about how they're "so much better looking than him", and "I love them more than him," and "you're probably gonna go marry them one day instead of me," or "you probably wish you'd lose your virginity to them instead of me."
"He then proceeds to demand I rip every poster off my wall and tear it up in front of him to 'prove my love' for him and if I didn't he'd 'kill himself'. He was bawling his eyes out, the kind of crying where it's like you have the hiccups and it's hard to breathe."
"I was shocked and when I refused to do the things he wanted me to do, he stood up and punched a huge hole in the wall next to his bed. At the end of the whole conversation that night, he said he forgave ME and then he loved me and acted like nothing happened the next day. He had/probably still has anger management problems to this day. I'm not sure if he's ever going to get help for it."
The Notebook
Giphy"When I was a sophomore in college I started dating a girl I met at a party. Anyway, one day she left a note book in my car. Curiosity got the better of me and I thumbed through it. It was filled with names of our future children, her name with my last name, and prices for engagement rings. I had know this 19 year old for a grand total of two weeks at this point."
All For Attention
"We dated for about 6 months before I broke up with him for hurting himself for attention."
"He would cut himself so deep that fat poked out and then show me. When he didn't outright show me, he would hint that he cut again "oh ouchhhh" *grasping arm* then would look at me and hope I noticed. When I would make him show me (to make sure he was okay, no infection etc) he would refuse and refuse but eventually give in and then crack a little smile while showing me."
"He'd do this kind of stuff for attention all the time. But I was so "madly in love" that I didn't notice. It hit me when he called me (FaceTime) and "tried to hide" that he had just attempted to hang himself. I realized this was all for attention right about that moment."
"I pretended not to notice the marks on his neck but he kept trying to find ways to flaunt them, like showing off collared shirts, leaning in close to button them. Applying lotion to the area, rubbing over and over etc. when I continued to pretend not to notice for like 45 mins he eventually got mad at me and told me that I wasn't giving him attention."
"That's when I went ballistic."
"I told him everything that I'd noticed ending with "I think it's time to end this, I'm breaking up with you" he told me that he'd kill himself if I broke up with him. I said "okay please don't do that but this is over" and hung up. Probably not a good idea in hind sight."
"After checking up on him through a mutual friend (he's fine) I learned that he had been cheating on me with someone I'll call P. Now P and him were dating. But now he's cheating on P with someone called D. He and P broke up and now he's dating D I have no idea if he's cheating on D or not but whatever."
"I talked to P and P broke up with him for the same reasons. I'm glad that ended and I wish it was sooner."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
What are your dating horror stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?