In case you haven't figured it out yet, women have notably different life experiences from men. For example, women regularly experience toxic abuse online, so much, in fact, that it's received harsh condemnation from Amnesty International. And even when women aren't facing outright abuse or harassment, they're receiving any manner of strange messages that run the gamut from weird to creepy to sexual.
After Redditor Nopefeelins asked the online community, "Ladies of reddit, what was the weirdest DM you ever got from a guy?" the stories came flooding in.
"That he loved..."
That he loved my fair skin and the fact I looked FERTILE. I was also like 15.
"Until he messaged me..."
Oooh, lemme think...
I was in an online DnD group, and the only female, as well as the youngest. I was fourteen, and the oldest player, who was 27, would regularly flirt with me while we played but I let it pass (and even was flattered by it) because it was in character.
Until he messaged me saying how he would stare at the only picture I'd ever sent the group (which was of my dice, and featured some of my hand) and that he wished I could be his pet.
Yeah,, blocked and left the group. Apologized to the DM, though.
"I'm serious here."
"Will you please mail me a box of your toenail clippings. I would be honored to chew them." I'm serious here.
"It's like the two most annoying..."
He wrote out how he saw our entire future together, including meeting each other's families, moving in together, getting married, buying a goat, getting pregnant, having a miscarriage, nearly divorcing, then mending the relationship and growing old together. Then he asked if I would consider going on this life journey with him. I would not. I blocked him immediately"A guy sent me a video..."
A guy sent me a video of him spreading his butt cheeks. Every time I blocked him, he would make a new account and do it again. It's happened 3 times. Don't know who he is and doesn't show his face. But I'd know his @ss when I see it.
"One day I got a text..."
Met one in college. He seemed normal at the time although we rarely talked. Had literally one class together.
He friend requested me on Facebook and I accepted. Soon after he asked me out on Facebook and I rejected him. He started starring at me in the one class we had together and followed me around a lot.
One day I got a text from my mom telling me I should check my Facebook. I maybe looked at it once a day at the time.
He had commented on every single post I made, every picture, anything on my wall. Literally everything he could. Every comment was different too, but all some variation of how I'm a slut. How all I'm good for is to please a man and produce his offspring... if he finds me worthy.
He planned it out well I think I because the semester ended the week before. Which was good for me I guess, didn't have to see him anymore.
I blocked him then deleted my Facebook. I was rarely using it anyway. He put so much effort into those comments, hundreds of them. Just weird.
"One of those dms..."
One of those dms that was describing a scenario, but straight off the bat. No hello, how's it going, just...
'I unlock the door. You're standing by the stairs, looking angry. "What time do you call this! Your dinner is in the trash!' you shout. I put down my keys and stride towards you. I grab you by the hair and lead you upstairs. I lay you down and take off your pantyhose. You giggle as you let out a pungent fart. It fills my nostrils and...'
I have never blocked anyone so damn fast.
"This guy was obsessed..."
This guy was obsessed with me in highschool (he was extremely antisocial, ran like Naruto in the hallways and cut himself with scissors during class). I hung out with him one time during math class and the next day he gave me a matching bff necklace. He gave me the creeps and made me uncomfortable so I avoided him in school. He still kept talking to me everyday on Facebook for months. The last time we talked was when he told me that his abusive cousin/girlfriend got pregnant and they're planning to name the kid after me. I blocked him real quick after that.
"I played a browser game..."
I played a browser game for a while called Ikariam. The pirate group I joined somehow believed I was a girl because they misinterpreted something I wrote and I just didn't care to correct them, as it's the sort of thing that shouldn't matter in a game that's 100% anonymous.
Basically no one cared except this one guy who would constantly send me messages, and I never interacted with him really (maybe a 1 word or sometimes 1 sentence answer) which progressed from him thinking I'm awesome to him falling in love with me or some crap. Because I was a "girl" who knew about computer programming and math.
"I told him that made me..."
This dude who told me he was going to block me. The reason for that was because he was calling me hot and I already don't respond well to compliments like that. I told him that made me uncomfortable and he started throwing a tantrum I guess, and I was eventually blocked.
"Then I had the bright idea..."
"You like your neck strangled?"
Then I had the bright idea of trolling him a little and he ended up asking me for neck pics, and asked me some pretty dark questions. Much of his instagram feed had to do with asphyxiation. It was pretty mortifying.
"Needless to say..."
Not a DM per se but definitely the weirdest thing a dude ever dropped on me.
I used to work at eBays call center and would talk to a lot of different sellers on the site. I had one seller would call in and request to talk to me all the time. It started of harmless enough. He just sounded like an older dude who didn't understand computers.
I was newer and hadn't lost my patience with old people who don't understand how technology works so I thought that was the reason he wanted to talk with me.
Then one day I got an email from him. It started off harmless. Someone new to eBay had given him my work email, he had a quick question and was hoping I could help. Then he asked me if I would be willing to pose naked covered in cereal for him and he would pay me. He also said I could pick the cereal if I wanted to.
Needless to say I did not respond to that email and had to have a very awkward conversation with my boss. All the calls we had were gone through to prove I didn't to anything wrong, and eventually the guys eBay account was pulled and that was the last I heard from him.
"After months of not talking to me..."
My ex. After months of not talking to me, he adds me as a friend then messages me some sappy sh!t like "I've been dating other girls they remind me of you but then i realized i only want you" Then proceeded to tell me he has a fleshlight and it reminds him of me. That day i learned that you can rekindle relationships/friendships but you disrespect yourself if its rekindled with someone who has humiliated you or disrespected you in anyway.
"Was offered..."
Was offered $200 to send a video of me spreading peanut butter on my feet... Poor college me was thrilled.
"It was so incredibly polite..."
If I'd mind terribly sending him pictures of my toilet bowl contents next time I had a bowel movement. It was so incredibly polite I almost felt bad for declining.
"Erotic fiction..."
"Erotic fiction" where he is a son fantasizing about his mother, hoping she was pleasing herself to him.
Similar invitations to erotic fantasy arrive daily on Reddit. Yeah, I realize this is a risk I take on the subs where I post. I mostly sigh, block and think "poor dear really needs a playmate."
"The guy who started talking to me..."
The guy who started talking to me on POF and was offended that I didn't want to be in his poly relationship because clearly, because I was bisexual, I should be cool with dating both at the same time.
(For the record I am 100% with poly people, just not my cup of tea).
"I want you to..."
"I want you to put your virginity in a box and give it to me."
I don't even know what that means.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
- 11 creepy 'fraanship' messages that most women get on Facebook ... ›
- The Top Weirdest Requests That Slid Into Women's DMs | TheTalko ›
- Rules Of The DM Slide - Social Media Etiquette ›
- I wanted to understand why strange men send me messages online ... ›
- Creepy Messages Slide Into DMs On Instagram Advice ›
It's interesting what people are initially attracted to about a person.
Some are drawn instantly by one's appearance based on a person's general attractiveness or how they dress and groom themselves.
Others seem to be turned on by one's attitude–like how a person presents themselves in public and how much confidence they exude without an air of pretentiousness.
If and when the object of one's affection is romantically obtained, the way in which the next step in the relationship progresses could be a sexy success or a total deal-breaker.
Curious to hear strangers recalling a deciding moment, Redditor JokeRadiant3881 asked:
"How did you feel the first time you saw your partner naked?"
These were triumphant reactions.
For Lack Of A Better Word
"I literally said 'woah' out loud."– ALIEN_Human_HYBRIDRomantic Thrill Ride
"Like a kid at Disney world. Hadn’t been on any rides yet but was excited to be there nonetheless."
– -Praetoria-
Headrush
"don't remember, no blood flow to my brain at that point."
– DoctorNotAnEngineer
Revved Up
"Horny."
– Shaggy_Poop
Complete Looney Tunes
"Remember that cartoon dog where his jaw hits the floor, tongue rolls out, and his eyes bulge out to the sound of an old timey car horn? Basically that."
– squaredistrict2213
Confidence levels were challenged but these Redditors were pleased with the results.
We Are Not Equals
"Felt sorry for what I had to offer in return."
– CurlyBill03
MILF Love
"Same! I’ve had four kids and had a lot of extra skin and sag. Man did NOT care. He seemed just as stunned as I was."
– TooTallMcCall
Embracing It All
"I felt the same way for a bit, with my hubby after baby. But every time I'm naked, even though I don't like where my body is at, he looks like he hit JACKPOT. So I feel better, knowing he thinks I'm hot, sexy, beautiful, even more so then before because I'm the mother of our child."
– DiamondEyedBarbie
Physical endowments were admired.
Life In Real-D
"She had deceptively big boobs."
– HappyDodge2
Object Appeared Larger Than Expected
"I felt like WOWZA im one lucky girl."
– Professional_Hour702
Breakfast Show
"Well, I’m 54 and got out of a marriage where my ex never felt comfortable being naked around me. My new fiancé has no problem getting naked and gives me a little show each morning she gets dressed. And she’s got an amazing body at 55!"
– macgiv
I'm very self-conscious when it comes to my body, but nothing says sexy like seeing the physical response from another man giving me a huge thumbs up, so to speak, after seeing me in my birthday suit.
Verbal affirmation isn't all that it's hyped up to be.
But body language? Now that is everything.
Mothers Explain How They'd Feel If The Father Asked For A Paternity Test
In every relationship, there are bound to be some tough conversations, like how to budget and deciding whether to move somewhere new.
But there are other conversations, like getting a paternity test or going through someone's phone, that potentially imply a lack of trust.
Redditor BlueSharker asked:
"Women, would you care if your husband wanted to do a quick, basic, cheap DNA test to make sure the kids are 100% his? And why?"
Healthy Relationship
"I love the wording of a 'quick basic cheap' test, like hey, it's no big deal, this is a totally normal quick little thing healthy strong couples do!"
"Like, Baby, it's no big deal. I just want to test the kids' DNA to make sure I can trust you."
- kaksereciklira
Feeling Insulted
"I just asked my wife this, and she said, 'I will rip your nads off and feed them to you if you want that d**n test.'"
"So yeah, they care."
- exportz
Holy Insinuation, Batman
"Asking for this test either means:"
"1. You think I cheated on you but don't want to actually accuse me directly of it and deal with the fallout of being wrong which is both cowardly and insulting and also didn't work."
"2. You have been spending time on unsavory red pill internet sites and are dumber and more gullible than I thought when I married you and I've now lost all respect for your critical thinking skills."
"3. You don't want to be married or be a father to our kids anymore and are looking or an excuse to leave. Perhaps you are yourself cheating, or you are hiding some other secret or opinion from me and have been for a while."
"None of these scenarios are good. I would 100% be rethinking the whole marriage at this point. What else are you going to blindside me with and when? Probably better to just leave on my own terms than wake up one day and find you gone and all the accounts drained."
- Fantastic_Poet4800
Lack of Trust
"I wouldn't be opposed to the actual request because I have nothing to hide."
"But the fact that he felt the need to ask 100% indicates his lack of trust in the marriage and that is the bigger issue that I would be seriously concerned about."
"That would generally be my same response to any hypothetical requests for my husband to look through my phone. Like superficially, I don't care. It's just memes and pics of our kids. But the inevitable longer form conversation that gets triggered by that is why is the trust gone."
- golemsheppard2
Quiet the Haters
"I’ve offered it to my boyfriend for our one and only child to shut up all the naysayers in his family who were telling him it wasn’t his."
"And he said my offering is even more suspicious than not offering."
"Which, I don't know how the f**k that makes any sense, but whatever dude. The kid is yours. Do it or don’t. I don't care."
- linkxlink
The Terrible Mother-in-Law
"My ex-husband’s mom was really weird about our firstborn not looking like him."
"He and I are very different in looks, where he’s black hair, and tan skin, and I’m strawberry blonde, and very fair."
"The son was born with brown hair and blue eyes."
"He tans a bit but definitely doesn’t look like his dad... because he looks like a darker-haired version of MY dad."
"The crazy s**t was, my ex was cheating on ME for most of the marriage and both kids are absolutely his because I don’t play stupid games."
- Dorkadoodle
Child Support Conspiracy
"My father tried telling everyone I wasn't his kid (I was conceived maybe a week or two before he got caught cheating on my mum)."
"My nan took one look at me and laughed in his face. She eventually convinced him to acknowledge me and pay his child support. I love my nan."
- maybebabyg
Going No Contact
"When my parents’ divorce started getting nasty, my father accused my mother of cheating, and that I was the result of it."
"He asked me over and over again to get a test and sure enough, I’m his biological son. He didn’t believe the result and kept asking me to do more tests."
"Among other reasons, I don’t speak to him anymore."
- Loopnova_
Taking the Estate
"I got my revenge on my dad's family who never believed I was his (my parents were together for 30 years but never married)."
"He passed away without signing his will. At his funeral, his sisters poked at my nose and pulled on my ears, questioning whether I was really their niece."
"So I got a posthumous paternity test done. The entire estate went to me and I didn’t give them a dime."
- qiwizzle
Empathetic Testing
"I would not care. My husband found out late in life that he has a different biological father due to DNA testing and it crushed him. I would understand that the test has more to do with that circumstance than his trust in me."
"That being said, even after going through everything with his dad, he never tested our kids, but I told him multiple times to go for it and I’d be totally fine!"
- CharacterLoquat6950
Accidental Discoveries
"One of my best friend's dads bought her and her two sisters Ancestry.com tests only for her older sister to get a 'Congrats! You have a half-sister!' email after my friend’s results were submitted."
"Obviously, she called her dad like 'What the f**k is this,' and he had them retest the results twice."
"He had to be the one to break the news to my friend. He absolutely had no clue before this happened, and he broke down crying and told her that she was still his daughter regardless."
"We were 24 at the time, and I genuinely can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to be either of them receiving that news."
"Her mom even tried to deny it at first before finally coming clean."
- ElysianReverie21
Grocery Store Antics
"'Here's a picture of my kid' … 'and here is the DNA test proving it!'
"'Can I leave now, officer? He just likes to scream kidnap for fun…'"
"Sigh. I love taking them to the grocery store with me."
- drewbreeeezy
Dad Jokes Galore
"I recently discovered that none of our three children are mine biologically."
"I feel so stupid, I should have known something was up when they all existed before I met my wife."
"All kidding aside, as a stepdad, I do find it genuinely tragic when dudes completely abandon kids and withdraw all love because it's not theirs, not their problem. I understand complex emotions surrounding the marital betrayal, but I can't imagine just peacing out on a kid whose fault it categorically isn't."
- Overthinks_Questions
What's the Point?
"Our kid looks so similar to my husband that her face unlocks his phone."
"Sure, do the test."
- noopibean
Not the Mother
"As a child, I overheard my Mom say to my Dad, referring to me: 'She is nothing like me. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me?'"
"I really never had much in common with my Mom, and at that age, I didn't know anything about how babies are made, so I thought she was serious and lived with that doubt for a few years."
- MsMaggieMcGill
While some people were able to make jokes or could otherwise point out why paternity testing had been helpful in their own lives, most were concerned about the lack of trust asking for a test implied.
Even in our progressive society, there are still far too many people with antiquated, mostly ludicrous, opinions of what it is to be a woman.
These are primarily from men in powerful positions.
However, some women also tend to look down on those who believe they are giving their gender a bad name.
This ignorant behavior is most commonly known as "toxic femininity".
"What are examples of toxic femininity?"
Caring About Your Image More Than Other People
"Girls who only support other girls when it’s convenient for their image."- flowerchild_3
Worry About Your Own Children, Not Other Moms
"Moms bullying other moms."- LollipopDreamscape
Men Are Parents Too...
"Dad of a 5 year old girl here."
"When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session."
"I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break."
"The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there's quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5."
"However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I'm the only man there and everyone stares at me."
"I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter."
"Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath."
"At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it.'
'I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register."
'Yes."
"THAT register.'
"All because I happened to be the only dad there.'
"I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left."
'I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers."
"Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you'd think she just breathed fire."
"Play group mums can be sexist as hell."- LostMercenary99
Never Pass Judgement Without Knowing The Details
"Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed."- Sufficient-Voice-210
"My wife could not produce enough milk for our children."
"When our first was born she tried and tried."
"I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying."
"She felt like she was a horrible mom to even bring up formula."
"There is so much pressure on moms, and it is incredibly stupid."
"Our kids are very well adjusted and were on formula the entire time.'
"I tell anyone who is expecting their first that the only 'right' way is the 'right way for that child'.”
"Damn everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family; not the mommy bloggers."
"My oldest is 10 years old and my wife is at peace with it; she worked through her guilt, which I totally agree she should not have any guilt: she is an excellent mother."
"The statistics on breastfed vs. bottle fed have other correlations which I don’t want to take the time to defend, anyone can read the studies, but adding other factors like home life and atomic households, the delta between the two are not as big as the breastfeeding fanatics point out."
"Lastly, anecdotally and take this as a a claim from a dad.'
"My kids are healthy and hyper-intelligent."
"My oldest has been consistently tested through school as top 2% composite intelligence, and she is thriving in advanced classes."
"I say this because there are people who say that IQ is impacted by breastfeeding."
"It just isn’t true, my children thrive, they are healthy and they know they are loved."- Lokitusaborg
If You Can't Take The Heat...
"Being verbally abusive and then playing victim the second the other person argues back or raises their voice."- No-Bumblebee4615
A "Real Woman" Would Probably Never Say This...
"Pulling the 'if you're a real man' card whenever they need something."- Reddit
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love."- DontShowMomMemes
No Man Is Worth The Trouble
"Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc."- KekeSmall
Happily Ever After Has Many Different Meanings
"That single women should be sad."- hallelujasuzanne
Being Self-Serving Ultimately Serves No One
"Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them."- SnooCakes653
Just because someone, no matter their gender, lives their life differently than you do doesn't mean they are deserving of your judgment.
Especially if they are happy with the life they are living, and aren't bringing harm to anyone else.
Anyone believing others aren't fitting their expectations of what it is to be a "real woman" or a "real man" might want to stop and re-examine their standards.
No matter how old we get, we still find ourselves keeping up with the latest trends.
Binging the show everyone's talking about, downloading the newest app, and partaking in the latest social media craze, all in an effort to appear cool to our friends and colleagues.
Of course, not all of these trends are "cool" to us.
In fact, sometimes we grudgingly partake in these trends, no matter how idiotic they seem to us.
While others have no concerns about being cool, and won't even think about joining in with everyone else, choosing instead to gleefully look down on them.
"What's something extremely popular but you just can't give a f*ck about it?"
What Exactly Are They Trying To Influence?
"Influencers."
"They have a different vibe than I have/aspire to have, different ways of expressing themselves, different values, different beauty standards, etc."- smieklinsh
"So-called influencers."
'My personal opinion."
"If you like them, cool."
'No harm done."- queen_tabby
"Elon Musk.'
"Isn't aren’t part of my life, so why should I take time from my life to think about the crap they’re doing?"- attention21
Elon Musk Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyIsn't It Good News Either Way?
"Gender reveal parties."- Back2Bach
Just Another Distraction
"TikTok never got into it."- thneakythnake660
How Many Strangers Are Looking At Your Pictures?
"Followers on social media."- Single_Goat3138
Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"Figure" Heads being the operative word
"The Royal Family."- Natasha_JB
Comfort Over Quality
"Sneakers."
"Like, I’ll indulge and buy a pair I think are really cool."
"But other than that, why tf would you spend $2000+ on a pair of shoes that actually cost less than $10."- eggtada
Fame Is Seldom The Same As Qualified
"I’d say entertainers who are so wealthy and think they are the voices of normal people."-mayoinstrumentalz
Or Anything Else About Him?
"Ye's Opinion."- SlimePrice
Just How Real Was It?
"Reality TV."- brycebrycehayeshayes
Phaedra Parks Reality Tv GIF by Real housewives of AtlantaGiphyCan It Even Be Considered A Chat?
"SnapChat Streaks."
"Since when was a fire emoji and a number a symbol of popularity and friendship?"
"I just don't have the time for this sh*t."- Yes-I-Have-Arrived
Quality Over Quantity
"Starbucks."- Maleficent_Insect71
The best thing about opinions and personal taste is that they are unique to every individual.
No two people have to like the same thing, nor should we judge those who dislike something we like and vice-versa.
Even if it's hard to say it's unreasonable that not even two people should give Elon Musk or Ye any time of day.
Though again, that's just an opinion...