Redditor Buckwild_17 couldn't help but wonder about bad behavior during a love celebration so they asked:
"What’s the fastest way to ruin a wedding?"
I once heard a drunk uncle toast the bride and groom with... "Ah, I give it six months. Cheers."
Stolen
Giphy"Propose. If someone gets engaged at my wedding, imma die at their funeral that's a promise."
"Ultimate thunder steal."
xDuke46
See Ya at the Next One...
"My youngest brother made the following toast at the middle brother's wedding: 'This will be a great first marriage for the both of you.' I thought my mother would kill him."
honest_true_man
"There was a Married with children episode where Kelly went to a bar with a group of friends. When she sees a hot rich guy she says something like 'Oh my God look at him, he's the ex-husband of my dreams.' Find it funny to this day."
groundbeef_smoothie
Be Quiet!
"Literally anything that steals the thunder of the bride. Like announcing someone's pregnancy, proposing to your partner, or even wearing something more elegant than the bride's gown."
Natural-Resort
"Bringing your baby that was only a few days old, who no one had met yet, and standing in the doorway so all the guests can flock around you."
Its_Mrs_Nesbitt
"And the baby will eventually cry out loud during the ceremony."
Natural-Resort
Scandal
"Announce out loud that you slept with the bride or groom (preferably whichever is the same sex as you)."
Plastic_Dependent_95
"I'll do you one better. Announce you slept with *both* of them."
DoctorWatchamacallit
Just Kidding
How I Met Your Mother Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Say 'I don’t' at the moment the bride says 'I do.'"
MyDearDoughnut
"Or respond to 'I do' with 'Why? You can do so much better than me.' Then shout to the best man, 'You're single, right? Get up here.'"
Duane_S_Hall
This isn't comedy hour people. Try your material somewhere else.
Excuse Me?
Sad Flowers GIF by VPROGiphy"Show up in a wedding dress with your BF and ask the couple if they mind if you tag along since everything is already set up and paid for."
JanuarySoCold
Behave
"Bringing your poorly disciplined rambunctious young children."
WackyTabbacy42069
"Poorly disciplined is definitely key here. My kid was included on the invite and was rambunctious right before everything started, so I hauled his little butt out so his two year old lunacy wouldn't ruin the event."
"He calmed down and is in the pictures looking angelic, danced a ton at the reception, and loved being a part of the toast with his sparkling apple 'champagne.' Don't bring your kid and ignore them when they're being a**holes."
HulloMrsCumberdale
"this way"
"In most places a marriage certificate needs a witness or two to be valid so what you need to do immediately before people start filing in, turn all of the chairs to be facing the back - as people are still filing in, pull fuses from the switchboard, plunging the venue into darkness."
"Lock all but one of the doors, have an accomplice in a high vis vest shout, 'this way' but where he leads them is into the back of a truck that immediately starts heading for an international border. Pay the driver well enough for him to never contact you again. If any nameplates were put out of the reception tables then shred them. No witnesses, no wedding. Shoot your accomplice."
totodododo
Shake it Off
"Start dry humping the bride's leg like a dog on the dancefloor as a joke like my cousin did and get way too into it and not let her go even when she's clearly trying to shake you off and crying. Good Lord some people should just not drink."
Flaky-Fellatio
"And this is one of the many reasons there will be no alcohol at my wedding."
MiaLedger
Oh My...
Bake Off Shock GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy"'It's nice to see them together! The bride's legs, that is.'"
SheepSurfz
"'I promise you, her family will leave the restaurant.'"
dfBishop
How are all of these ideas not just a "don't do" given?
Be mindful of others people.
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Wedding Brawl!
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."- TornApartByLisa
Season 4 Fight GIF by Living SingleGiphyA Room Without A View...
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception."
"Tallest building in the city, beautiful view."
"My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out."
"Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before."
"Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding."
"The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction."
"To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive."
"The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys."
"As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony."
"Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."- mimicthefrench
fog GIF by Gif Gif A ChanceGiphyOne Wedding And A Funeral?
When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding."
"Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven."
"The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion."
"Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor."
"Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird."
"Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the marriage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."- DecadentOrange
Venue Is Everything
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it."
"We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather."
"I live in the high desert and it was very warm."
"A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy."
"So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident."
"The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts."
"Drive around a little bit on the golf course."
"To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset."
"However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out."
"It came to a complete stop from 15mph to zero."
"The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing."
"Both the bride and groom both fell out and rolled over a few times."
"They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two."
"So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds."
"There was no after party available."
"Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out."
"Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."- Itsallover_
Golf Jump GIFGiphyWe May Have A Winner...
"My dad and stepmom's wedding was a sh*t show."
"For context, her family was terrible on both sides."
"Abusive father, neglectful alcoholic mother, and step parents who didn't care about her much."
"She basically ran to my father to get away from it."
"Bigger problem was, my dad was 26, also abusive, and just a real f*ckin sh*tshow of a person."
"On my father's side of things, he hated his mother and blamed everything wrong in his life on her. as he did to most women in his family, later doing it to my stepmom."
"So the wedding was doomed to be terrible."
"It started when my stepmom was walking down the aisle."
"She'd reconnected with her father in the last year and had recently been in a fight with her stepfather, so it was just her dad walking her."
"There was a branch in the way, outdoor wedding, but he pulled it out if the way for her."
"As she thanks him, he lets go and flings it back into her face and literally collapses laughing."
"She awkwardly chuckles, no doubt knowing he is going to get mad at her if she shows she's upset, and the day continues but she's visibly upset."
"After the toasts, some people didn't drink the champagne that had been set out."
"The one thing she had asked of her mom was that she not drink."
"She was even given sparkling juice rather than champagne."
"So while stepmom is changing into her reception dress, her mom goes table to table pounding down all of the alcohol she can get her hands on."
"A cousin of mine who doesn't know what's happening starts chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" and stepmom walks back to her mom downing the last one and denying everything."
"Cousin slips out the tent once he realizes what's going on and leaves the two alone to argue."
"Stepmom comes out crying a few minutes later, goes back to her car, and doesn't come back for a good 20 minutes."
"While all of that is happening, grandma pulls up and starts cursing out my dad for a ton of sh*t, including marrying a kid, stepmom was 25 at this point, who she hates, not letting her invite a friend to the wedding, and him owing her a bunch of money."
"Dad tells her to f*ck off and she leaves."
"Then my dad got mad at my stepmom for being gone so long, accused her of either 'being a baby' for crying or of lying and cheating on him."
"So she sat down on the fringes and tried to not cry and also remain visible to my dad for the next several hours."
"They may have been dating for 10 years, but the marriage only lasted 6 months."- GayHotAndDisabled
There are those who say the worse the wedding, the better the marriage.
And indeed, true love can withstand almost anything, including a disastrous wedding.
On the other hand, when everything goes wrong at a wedding, it could be a sign that the marriage wasn't meant to be...
Redditor ajlposh wanted to hear about all the things we've seen newlyweds have done that maybe made things awkward...
"What’s the cringiest thing you’ve seen a bride and groom do for their wedding?"
I once saw a bride and groom preform a striptease. Like guys... save it for the honeymoon.
Chew on
the sandlot chewing tobacco GIFGiphy"In-laws wedding and groom and all groomsmen were wearing a tux and a ball cap. The groom had a dip of tobacco in during the wedding and I sh*t you not. His grooms cake was designed like a Copenhagen can."
AndrewLBailey
Let's Drive
"Long ago I worked at a banquet hall and witnessed a fully NASCAR themed wedding. During the reception they played the audio of the proposal going out over the PA at the track. It was fully unintelligible. BZZT GABBAGBGA MRRRY MEZZZZZ RROOOOOWWWVROOOM."
"Other highlights were the owner locking himself in his office to avoid the bride’s father because he was threatening him to haggle on the costs. In the end we had to call the police because the bride in gown climbed over the bar to steal more sweet sweet MGD after we had closed the taps and the event was over."
neverzen
Pick it Up
"At my cousin's wedding, they did the thing where the groom removes the bride's garter and tosses it to all the single guys. I guess none of the guys wanted to be next to be married, because once the groom tossed the garter, no one grabbed it. It just landed on the ground a few feet in front of a crowd of motionless guys. The groom tossed the garter 3 times before one guy halfheartedly picked it off the ground. The bride wouldn't look at any of those guys for the rest of the night."
ManOnThePaperMoon
Where to Begin?
"Oh let's see. Groom changed who his 'Best Man' was and didn't tell the original BM until the start of the ceremony. Bride & Groom asked a guest to bartend the reception AT the reception Groom 'dirty danced' with his step-mom (full hands on a**). Bride & Groom hauled their wedding party up to do a choreographed dance to Meatloaf's 'Paradise by the Dashboard Lights' but didn't give them any pre-warning or teach them the dance. That song is 8.5 minutes long."
"Wedding was at a scenic boarding school campus during the summer. Guests were told dormitories were complimentary to stay in. Guests were not told there would be no bedding provided or A/C in the building. Groom later emailed everyone who stayed in a dorm asking for money."
"Same Bride & Groom chose another friend's wedding reception as the right setting to yell at a 3rd pair of mutual friends for not including them in their wedding party."
yet_another_dave
Rehearse First
Wedding Speech GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy"My uncle not only brought up his daughters ex boyfriend in his speech but talked about their toxic relationship for a solid 5 minutes. I highly recommend preparing a speech before talking in front of a room full of people."
_Kyla_
It's like people have never been out in public before.
Smile
season 6 netflix GIF by Gilmore Girls Giphy"Requiring every attendee to bring a date because she didn't want 'sad, lonely people on her day.'"
"Not my friends luckily, but pretended to be a friend's date because she really wanted to see her cousin get married."
bashno
Weird
"At the reception, the groom and his groomsmen sung a God-awful acapella version of 'Stand By Me.'"
"The worst part was he wasn't even singing it to his wife. He was singing it to his mum."
"'Oh darling, darling, stand... by... me...'"
"Chinese weddings, man..."
crunkasaurus_
Too Long!
"I don't know, but one of my favorite memories from years of cater waitering was this long Indian wedding where they had a LOT of random relatives get up to give a toast, everyone's giving these long speeches and then one uncle gets up, goes 'I made him waffles once' and sits back down. I swear to god. bless that man, wherever he is."
"Toasts in general are usually terrible and full of cringe. Just keep it short, sweet, and genuine. No one wants 15 minutes of inside jokes that are embarrassing and don't make sense."
kelgryffindor
Hang Up
"Dated a girl in my 20s and went to her friend’s wedding in upstate New York. In the middle of the service the minister’s cell phone rang, he answered, it was God, God wanted to talk to the groom, conversation lasted a couple minutes, then the ceremony continued."
Theseus44
"I think they should have given the congregants a turn on the phone too. I mean, this isn’t an opportunity that comes along every day."
mna414
Bring It
Mac And Cheese Send Help GIF by ALLBLKGiphy"Potluck wedding with no alcohol or music. Groom kept showing people his flask and bragging about it. Macaroni was only redeemable thing, when i went to scoop there was hair in it. Very sad."
IcedCoffeeAndBeer
Not the Robe!
"I was a photographer for a wedding where the bride was marrying a man with two kids from a previous relationship. I was in the bridal suite when the bridal party was getting ready and all of the bridesmaids had matching silk robes. The flower girl (groom's daughter) was there too."
"They asked me to take a group photo of the bridal party and one of the women in a silk robe was standing awkwardly to the side. I thought she was just shy or something so I waved her into the photo and the room got DEAD silent and the bride was like "oh no, we don't want her in the photos" and glared at me like I should've known that!"
"Apparently she was the groom's ex wife and was there to take care of the flower girl but WHY DID YOU GIVE HER A MATCHING BRIDESMAID ROBE! I wanted to crawl in a hole and die."
lilsebastian17
Shocked
"The minister (or pastor?) used to date the bride and gushed about how wonderful she was. Told the groom if he ever died not to worry, he'd take care of her. I was shell shocked. I so wished I could think of a reason to ask the couple for a copy of the video of their wedding but couldn't quite find a legit one."
sunsetviewer
Time to Annul
"I wasn't a guest, I was working the wedding. The bride got drunk and sat on some other dudes lap for two hours and flirted with him while the groom sat by himself at the head table with a defeated look on his face."
Samhamwitch
"This might be the most depressing one yet?"
SkepticalAmerican
Oh Daddy
church considering GIF by funkGiphy"Not the couple, the Pastor kept saying 'Our Heavenly Father, Daddy God."
"While marrying them. For context it was a military wedding. It was just the couple and the pastor, it was live streamed on twitch, and the pastor was probably about 25. It was in Hawaii. He was wearing flip flops, and a lei made of fake flowers."
S-D-J
OMG Shut Up!
"Speeches. My God, the speeches! Here's the back story. The reception was scheduled for right after the ceremony but at a different location. We couldn't eat until the wedding party got there. They showed up 2 hours late because they were cruising around on the party bus and drinking. After showing up they decided to do the speeches before dinner. Speeches from the best man, the maid of honor, a few parents and random people."
"I've never listened to so much boring crap. It took more than an hour to get through them all. So basically everyone sat around with no music and no food for 3 hours! The bar wouldn't open either so we had only water to drink. Nearly everyone, including me, left after eating. It was disrespectful to their guests."
decidealready
Not a Chorus!
"They sang their vows to each other. Neither had a singing voice. Vows were generally bat sh*t crazy, like submissive in the bedroom, and not asking about where she was going. The autotune microphones were a terrible idea. Their vow songs shared a chorus and it was awful and they expected the guests to sing along with the chorus. The vows singing lasted 20 minutes."
Pure cringe.
CUT!
Eva Green 1800S GIF by STARZGiphy"Not wedding but engagement ceremony. They reenacted a scene from an old romantic film, about two lovers in 1800s. In front of like 300 people."
vixissitude
A Trashy Affair
"My friend got pregnant at 20 with a piece of sh*t guy so they got married. It was me, our friend, her mom and then just the two of them.. they got married in some random lady’s house, we sat on computer chairs in a small living room with the ladies dogs sniffing us and barking. The whole thing lasted maybe 5 or 10 minutes. After we proceeded to take wedding pictures in the parking lot of a dollar store and then we got McDonald’s."
"I made a little bouquet out of some ferns and leaves that were in the McDonald’s parking lot, she threw the bouquet and it ended up getting run over by someone going to the drive thru. Lol needless to say, it was a trashy affair and their marriage didn’t last long."
jojapeggi
Oh WOW!
"It’s a tie between my sister breaking her knee (seriously) at her own wedding dancing to the "Cotton Eyed Joe" and my stepsister having her reception at an honest to god truck stop while 6 months pregnant. In her defense, the food was good but WOW was it weird walking through a gas station in formal wear."
This is why you elope.
Do you have similar experiences to add? Let us know in the comments below.