Woman Finds World's Oldest Message In A Bottle While Strolling Along Australian Beach 😮
If you found the world's oldest message in a bottle, what might be inside? Got to be something cool or mysterious, right? Like a shipwrecked pirate's last will and testament, or perhaps the insane ramblings of a desperate castaway trapped on an island.
World's oldest message in a bottle found at remote Australian beach. The bottle is believed to have been thrown fro… https://t.co/LgfNZBbBWx— CGTN (@CGTN) 1520422500.0
Turns out real life is a bit less dramatic. Australians Tonya and Kym Illman happened upon the bottle a few months back, but its mysterious message had nothing to do with pirate lore, castaways or even that
catchy song by Sting and The Police from the late 1970s.
After taking home the bottle and fishing out its contents, the married couple found a small note that resembled a rolled up cigarette. Instead of smoking it, they popped the note into the oven to "dry up the moisture," which revealed a cryptic ledger.
A woman has found the world's oldest known message in a bottle after it washed up on an Australian beach. The messa… https://t.co/DqSAOVsEhf— CNN (@CNN) 1520425348.0
They later found out the ledger was from an experiment of sorts that the German Naval Observatory had conducted over 132 years ago. The details aren't exactly thrilling, but apparently the experiment was supposed to track shipping routes and ocean currents. According to one tweet, anyone who found a bottle was offered a small payment to return it to the German Naval Observatory for further analysis.
The world’s oldest message in a bottle contains a 108-year-old postcard offering a shilling for its return to a marine research institute.— UberFacts (@UberFacts) 1521382620.0
The dusty old bottle captured the imagination of a few on social media:
Who amongst us has not wanted to find a real old note in a bottle. Here is a great story from Australia of a recent… https://t.co/dnV7mursth— Harry Foster (@Harry Foster) 1520434763.0
Saw this in a recent @theAGU AGUniverse & love these stories! The world's oldest known message in a bottle recently… https://t.co/UE4AbAv6a6— Dr. G (@Dr. G) 1522466755.0
While many celebrated the historic find in Western Australia, others mocked and derided the bottle's anti-climactic message:
World's oldest message in a bottle discovered (from 1886) with the world's most boring message in it. https://t.co/0oi7LFKcyT— Jon Hughes (@Jon Hughes) 1532426632.0
World’s Oldest Message In A Bottle Found On Australian Beach https://t.co/elm3A9DDRC #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/BT1YAqQJy7— The Onion (@The Onion) 1520637722.0
Sure, the message wasn't all that cool, like a pirate king giving us directions to the bones of his enemies and heaps of buried treasure. But, at least that nice couple got a certificate from the Guinness Book of World Records! That's cool, right? Anyone?
OFFICIALLY AMAZING Our @GWR certificate for World's Oldest Message In A Bottle arrived. This picture is proof.… https://t.co/v9QiWHBMbt— Kym Illman (@Kym Illman) 1523320816.0
The moral of the story is that you never know what you might come across in this world. And the next time someone finds a message in a bottle, maybe it will lead us somewhere amazing, like Davey Jones's locker. Anything's possible!
People are fickle.
Changing our minds about attraction is part of our DNA.
But sometimes following the fickle feeling is the way to go.
And that is ok.
You can be in total lust and love but if the person you're fond of kicks a puppy... kick them and run.
Some behavior is unacceptable.
Redditor JackHasSmellySocks wanted to hear about the times we've had a change or heart or lust, so they asked:
"What did your crush do that completely ruined your infatuation for them?"
I'm easily turned off, so my list could be long.
ListenListen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"Not listening whenever I would share a hobby of mine but insisting me into listening to theirs."
"Currently dealing with this with my partner."
"We had been going out for a few weeks and on the way home from a party, we went to get McDonalds and he paid for me. I have an allergy and they got my order wrong. I asked and it wasn't a problem, they made me a new burger and told me to keep the incorrect one as they couldn't resell it."
"I offered it to him, he didn't want it so I said I would just bring it home to give to my housemate so it wouldn't go to waste. He was completely fine with this. Then a homeless guy came in and started asking at the tables for change. I offered him the burger and he took it."
"My date went crazy at me for giving away the burger that he had paid for (even though he was okay with me giving it to my housemate?) and followed the homeless man, shouting at him to give it back. Then got the guy kicked out of the restaurant."
"It was terrifying. He went from easy-going and charming to furious in a split second. Then when he sat down again, he acted like everything was normal and asked me if I wanted to go home with him! It was a side of him I hadn't seen before. I'm glad he showed his true colors early."
"This girl I had a crush on early on in high school told me that she recently broke up with her last BF because his dad passed away suddenly, and, as she put it, 'wouldn’t stop being depressed and a f**king crybaby about it.' I didn’t talk to her much again after she said that."
"Participated in the murder of a homeless man. He and a group of his feckless friends cornered a homeless man and bludgeoned him to death, apparently for no reason at all. And they were caught almost immediately, because there were a couple of witnesses out of sight and a camera."
CreepElementary School What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Tried to pour vodka into my drink when I wasn't looking."
"Same thing happened to me! Too bad the guy was an idiot and didn't get very far after that."
Well that is a Dateline episode waiting to happen.
GrossBye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy
"Told me that the reason she hung around me was to get close to my very tall best friend. They dated for three weeks before he dumped her."
On top of that...
"Ohhh. This post made me remember a really hurtful one. When I was 17 at my first year at uni I made friends with a girl in my year, it wasn't like instant crush but she was funny and I grew to like her. One day we were going home after classes together (turns out we lived pretty close to each other) chatting and joking."
"And at one moment she says: 'I really like talking to you just about anything, I would have jumped you right now if you weren't so ugly.' I was a really awkward teenager: severely underweight, skin problems and some other complexes. On top of that very introverted - so it outright killed my remained self-esteem."
"Thing is that she actually didn't realized effect of her words, it was like a passing comment to her and wasn't said with malicious intent. That fact actually made these words even more hurtful."
'Everyone does it'
"We went somewhere and she and her friends pulled into all three handicapped parking spaces. There were plenty of other spots, but these were the closest. None of them were handicapped in any way. 'Everyone does it,' she said. No, no they do not."
"If 'everyone does it,' then those spaces wouldn't have been open in the first place."
"Growing up with two disabled parents, I unfortunately can confirm there are a lot more people like her than you would think. There isn't always a disabled person needing that parking spot, but when you're disabled, there's always an a**hole who beat you to it."
It worked out OK
"She mentioned her last name. I recognized it. Haha. It's probably a good thing. Found out her grandmother was my grandfather's older sister. It worked out ok. We were on a double date sorta deal with her friend and my friend. We found that out pretty early in the night. We literally laughed our a**es off for 15 minutes, making jokes and traded dates. I ended up dating her friend for about 4 years."
TrashMr Potato Head Litter GIF by City of Greenville, NCGiphy
"He littered. Just opened his car door and dropped out a McDonalds bag on the ground. That killed it right there."
"Turns out she had absolutely no filter. She took pride in 'saying what was on her mind,' which was kind of cute at first, until I realized that she literally meant it, every thought in her head spewed out of her mouth no matter who could hear it. Not a day went by where she didn't get into an argument with someone over some insensitive or insulting comment that she made. She was the female embodiment of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm."
These are all valid reasons to drop someone if we're being honest.
Has this ever happened to you over something small? Let us know in the comments below.
We'd be lying if we said we haven't all made a poor decision in our lives. Whether it's letting a questionable ex back into our lives or pairing that shirt with those jeans, we all have a cringey memory to look back on.
But most of us don't have memories of inventing something terrible, let alone one of the worst inventions ever.
Redditor NPT1506 asked:
"What is the worst human invention ever made?"
"That little 'Press to Open' tab on Kraft Mac 'n' cheese boxes. That has been an effective way of opening those boxes exactly zero times."
"K Cups. The pollution of all that single-use plastic."
Teeny Tiny Bits of Plastic
"Glitter. It N E V E R goes away."
"My printer one day just up and stopped working claiming I needed to replace a part. As it turned out, that part is meant to stop working when the printer reaches 5000 pages."
"I took the part out. There’s no damage or wear on it. So I ordered a 'reset chip' that reset the page count for that part to zero. Cost me $20 vs $110 for a replacement part."
"Later on, I found a way to enable tech mode on my printer to reset the page count for any part I want. Then again, the printer is old, and the WiFi stopped working a few weeks ago, requiring me to use direct WiFi, which sucks."
It's Getting Personal
"Serious answer: chemical toxins that have caused severe health problems."
"Personal answer: HP printers. F**king pieces of s**t."
Unholy Packing Solutions, Batman
"Styrofoam is pretty abominable in my book, especially for things like takeout food that’s destined for the trash within minutes of use."
"Child beauty pageant events."
Profit for Who
"Which leads to state prosecutors who are beholden to them. This increases the probability of being charged with a crime you didn't commit, under the plan that you're too poor to defend yourself and will plead out."
"They can't make a profit without prosecutors feeding them an ever-increasing supply of prisoners (plus parolees and probationers in "offender-funded" programs). It's a recipe for the corruption of our justice system."
"Private prisons are arguably foreign enemy assets."
Addictive Pay-to-Win Games
"Pay to Win Games, especially mobile games."
"Cigarettes. They never should have been made."
"Possibly leaded gasoline. It poisoned billions and left multiple generations more violent and less intelligent."
Reminders of War
"Landmines. They don't just disappear once a war is over. They'll stay around to kill some kids playing. Awful things."
"I’ll say Nerve Toxins/Chemical Weapons. I find few things worse than a weapon that literally gives you the slowest and most agonizing death possible."
"While nukes are horrible beyond imagination, humanity learned to avoid them as a way to ensure their own survival, it's wise, but egoistical nonetheless."
"Chemical weapons on the other hand traumatized the f**k out of the survivors and the ones who called the attacks and got to see the aftermath. They were so horrible that many soldiers deserted after using them and many went mad."
"Throughout the last century, we successfully banned almost all of those: the 1925 geneva protocol, the 1980 chemical weapons convention, among others, but I'm afraid when the next generations start to forget the horrors of chemical warfare, it will resurface in the likes of what's happening with fascism."
From modern inconveniences to climate changing inventions to the literal stuff of war, there are serious contenders here for the worst invention in human history. It would be hard to choose just one.
Children believe what their parents tell them about the world to be true because they don't know any better.
That doesn't mean they have to like what they are told. But a good child listens and will act accordingly to be in their parents' good graces.
But sometimes, adults abuse their power and say whatever it takes to get a desired response from a young one–even if what they're saying may not be entirely true.
Curious to hear from those who've eventually become wise to the ways of a parent or other adult figure, Redditor i_cant_have_dairy asked:
"What's something you were told as a child by adults, that you now realize is complete bullsh*t?"
Parents hoping to prevent a bad habit had interesting things to impart.
Advancing Bone Degeneration
"Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis."
"If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."
Interesting things were said in school but not everything stuck.
The Threat That Didn't Land
"HS teachers: 'That stuff won't fly in college" College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️'
An Easy Pass For Today
"I got this BS all through school. 'I'll let this slide, but don't think you'll get away it next year...' "You can do this now, but don't think it'll happen in Middle School...' 'Don't expect to get away with this in High School...' 'Yeah, we'll let this go in High School, but if you think you'll get that sort of accomodation in college/the real world...(evil laugh)'. "
"Eventually, I caught on that it was more dependent on the teacher's attitude rather than anything else. Small example, in high school I couldn't remember the name of a town on a test, but I could remember everything else, even drew the diagram the teacher had the board in the margin, just to prove I had paid attention that day. Still got marked wrong. In college, similar brain fart, couldn't recall a place name, but I put as much description as I could otherwise. Professor gave me half credit."
The Wrong Impression
"DARE activities in primary school gave the impression that grownups would always be giving away narcotics for free. lol"
"That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything."
Certain behaviors get fact-checked.
The Thing About Respect
"That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a butthole ima be a butthole."
There Are No Stupid Questions...Maybe
“No harm in asking', boy did that get me in trouble…"
'Just ignore them and they'll go away.'
"No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more."
Getting Old But Never Wiser
"That adults know what they are doing."
"31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off."
You Are Not What You Eat
"That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up."
"Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from."
I was a very rambunctious and obnoxious kid, so maybe I deserved the tactic my mother resorted to using to get me to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I acted out, my mother used to convince me she would call the "mountain people" to come back and retrieve me back to the community from where she claimed to have initially found and adopted me.
One time, when I was incredulous and stood my ground after being a pain, my mother told me the mountain people were going to take me back.
So she called them up by using our rotary-dial telephone and faked a whole conversation with them about how unruly I've been and that it was time for me to return.
She sent me to my room to start packing–which I did. Unbeknownst to me, she rang the doorbell to indicate they had arrived to take me away.
When that happened, I profusely apologized to her and promised to behave so she could send them away.
That was the last time she used that effective tactic and the last time I think I was at my worst in terms of my rebellious behavior.
We laugh about it now but back then, I was terrified.
But I can't discredit her for her creative discipline.
No two people have the same threshold for pain.
Some people don't even notice pricking their fingers, while others might equate doing so to being fully amputated.
No matter one's threshold, however, being in pain, big or small, is never a good feeling.
Particularly if it's the sort of pain that aspirin or ibuprofen can't take care of.
Some pain is so horrific that those suffering from it genuinely can't imagine going through anything worse.
"What's the worst physical pain you have ever had?"
"I am a heart-transplant recipient."
"The absolute worst experience of my life was when the tool used to take tissue samples of the heart (biopsy) to check for rejections got stuck and the doctor tried to use force to get it out, he failed."
"Mind you, you shouldn't be able to feel anything in the transplanted heart."
"I felt everything."- Beastrix
Seriously, What Haven't They Been Through?
"Having A UTI after covid that also had light pneumonia."
"Falling on my hands and knees while my backpack full of school books to return [2011 for book reference] that slammed into my back."
"I have scoliosis already and it threw my back out."
"Or my hip dislocating."
"It still dislocates."- Fluffy-Doubt-3547
"Like 10,000 knives in my stomach."- coffeedogsandwine
You Know Its Bad When Surgery's The Only Solution
"Ended up having my gal bladder removed."
"And I've broken my knee skiing which also required surgery."
"Minor annoyance in comparison."- Fracture_98
"I had a doctor once reset a broken bone in my wrist."
"He pushed it back."
"Worst pain I have ever felt."
"I screamed at him 'F*CK YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!'"
"He was nice about it though, and just laughed."- OttersOfNorthAmerica
Headache's Are Never Fun
"Chronic Cluster Headaches."- noiamnotyourfriend
"Worst headache of my life with migraine."
"And with it, an increase in blood pressure."
"I just lay on the floor and couldn't move."
"It cannot be described in words, but I have already vomited everything that is possible, and instinct made me writhe in the urge to give out something that has not been there for a long time."- Exciting_Composer_86
"I had a root canal done on a tooth that wasn’t numb."
"I didn’t realize it until they scraped the nerve out of the bottom of the root."
"It hurt so bad I completely blacked out."- victrola_cola
"Welp I guess now's the time."
"If you're squeamish turn away."
"Allow me to tell you the story of the gigash*t."
"I always had stomach issues."
"One holiday I ate too much dairy and gravy and it didn't agree with me."
"I already had constipation issues, most likely due to college stress, under hydration, and lactose intolerance that I didn't know I had at the time."
"I was hunched over in pain for hours."
"I had been stuck for a week or so and I wanted it out."
"The pain got progressively worse and worse across the day, and then it got to a height. It hurt so bad I cancelled my holiday visits and hobbled to the toilet."
"Little did I know what horrors awaited me."
"I don't know how long I was in there fighting for my life."
"At some point I had pulled a dresser over to lean my head and arms on because I was so exhausted and in pain, and I needed something to help keep my legs up."
"I clung to it like a castaway clings to flotsam."
"I felt like I should have seen a doctor, but I was already hell bound now, couldn't quit after all this work."
"I actually tried to use wipes to pull some of it out by hand, but it was like chiseling at hardening clay, and it was stuck like glue to my dying organs."
"I was certain I was dying too, but I wasn't going to give up."
"I wasn't going to let the football in my guts win."
"I clenched and pushed and suffered for what felt like hours."
"Then, at the height of my pain, it fell like a single brick with a clunk."
"I was huffing and puffing."
"It was like I just gave birth, and my a** was obliterated to the point where it was sore for the rest of the day."
"My guts actually felt empty."
"It's hard to explain, but I never felt so light in my life, despite how horribly the rest of my body ached."
"I was but a husk for the small football shaped demon spawn to shed, and now I was free."
"I immediately went to bed, still unbelievably sore."
"I recovered, but that was the absolute worst."
"Moral of the story, drink your water and eat your fiber, and for God's sake don't eat too much cheese."- mysterious_greenbean
Just When They Thought The Worst Was Over
"Woke up to to a huge spider right next to my face on my pillow."
"My reaction was to jump out of bed screaming bloody murder."
"I landed on the leg I had surgery in the day before, the leg gave out and I hit it hard on the bedframe and tore the wound."
"I passed out from the pain."- mistaekeish
Hopefully Not Simultaneously?!
"Kidney infection and tooth infection have been the absolute worst."- SexyChronicPain
Our Bones Are More Delicate Than We Might Think
"Skull bone infection (osteomyelitis) stemming from a tooth abscess, ended up with 3 front teeth out through high school."
"It took around 11 extraction/bone graft/implant surgeries for like 5 years of my life."
"But I’m all good now."
" Oh and f*ck broken ribs."- throwaway19273919
Thankfully, not all pain is chronic, and only lasts a short time.
If pain is unbearable enough, however, the memory of it can last a life time.