Famous quotes are like little nuggets of wisdom that follow us around and pop up at precisely the right time. But, did you know that many of the most famous quotes were taken completely out of context? Here, let's review some famous quotes that mean something entirely different when you know the story behind them.
If you would like to read more about these quotes, you can check out the sources at the end of this article.
Sure, this quote is good, but the full quote is even better. It goes: "Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ." That last part is intended to say that if you're always thinking of the same things as other people, you might want to start looking outside the box.
Well, not exactly. This was a misquote of the words of Leo Durocher (nicknamed "Leo the Lip"). He worked as the field manager for the Brooklyn Dodgers. When the Giants finished in seventh place during the height of the Giants-Dodgers rivalry, Durocher made an off-handed comment about the team finishing in seventh place because Mel Ott, the right-fielder for the Giants, was being too nice.
Baseball Digest swooped in and later reprinted the column, changing "seventh" to "last."
These misquoted words soon became the motto (read: excuse) for douchebags everywhere.
Cant you give me brains? asked the Scarecrow.
You dont need them."
This beloved quote from The Wizard of Oz is often taken out of context and seen at face value. However, when you place it back within the scene that it came from, it's easy to see that the message was entirely different. Let's take a look...
I think you are a very bad man, said Dorothy.
Oh, no, my dear; Im really a very good man, but Im a very bad Wizard, I must admit.
Cant you give me brains? asked the Scarecrow.
You dont need them. You are learning something every day. A baby has brains, but it doesnt know much. Experience is the only thing that brings knowledge, and the longer you are on earth the more experience you are sure to get.
That may all be true, said the Scarecrow, but I shall be very unhappy unless you give me brains.
This is a quote by Vince Lombardi, who later stated that he regretted that being one of his most remembered quotes. I can see why! Taken out of context, it makes him seem like a bit of a rude guy. Here's what he had to say about it in an interview...
I wish to hell Id never said the damned thing, Lombardi once told a reporter. I meant the effort… I meant having a goal… I sure as hell didnt mean for people to crush human values and morality.
According to the New York Times, Gandhi himself never said this. This phrase, though rather inspiring, was diluted from various ideas that Gandhi presented, but he never actually uttered the phrase. What he actually said was: As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.
This popular quote is often used in contexts in which someone's overwhelming curiosity could lead them to knowing things that they might not actually want to know.
What people don't often notice? This statement is missing the last half.
The actual quote is "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back."
In this slightly more positive version of the quote, sure curiosity killed it, but baby, this cat's got nine lives.
Ahhh, this old thang. Verse 6:10 of 1 Timothy in the bible is a quote often used to talk about capitalism and it's seemingly inevitable roots in evil. However, like many other quotes on this list, this quote has been taken out of context. Though the real quote is fairly similar, it still changes the flair of it. It says, "The love of money is the root of all sorts of evil."
So, it's certainly not to suggest that money is the root of ALL evil, and it's more about the ways that we regard and use money, prioritizing it over other things in our lives. All of a sudden, the quote seems a little bit more definitive, and I'm alright with that.
This phrase has been passed through the ages like a big ol' game of telephone, and there's no real consensus on what the original quote is. Originally, it was adapted into English in the 16th century from a Medieval French proverb.
Another version to keep in the back pocket?
Rome wasnt built in a day, but it burned in one.
Again with the twisting of words to make them into easily digestible quotes! This concept was introduced in The Prince, by Nicolo Machiavelli. It essentially is used to describe a situation in which a good outcome excuses any bad things you had to do to get there. It's certainly an interesting idea to ponder!
However, the original wording was a little bit less spicy, and was simply said by Machiavelli himself, rather than explicitly stated in the book: One must consider the final result.
So you're going to see Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, are you? Well, look out for this scene, which is often misinterpreted in amateur versions of the play (and even some professional!)
When Juliet steps onto the balcony to say this, it is often thought that she is wondering where Romeo is. Actually, "wherefore art" doesn't mean "where", it means "why." Juliet is wondering why Romeo was born into the Montague family the source of all their trouble.
Many people attribute this awesome quote to Marilyn Monroe. It's a quote that reigns true with a lot of people, and has been seen as particularly poignant coming from the lips of Monroe, as she was often seen as someone who disturbed public ideas of what women were "allowed" to do at the time. It also spoke to the way that society usually judged Monroe as being unintelligent, and this quote is often used as an example of her under-the-surface intelligence.
Though Marilyn Monroe was actually very smart, we can't credit her with this quote. The source is actually Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, who teaches on Women's and American History at Harvard. She is also a Pulitzer Prize winning historian, and overall pretty cool woman.
The quote originally appeared in a 1976 article about Puritan funeral services.
Okay, time for another one of the many bible verses that has become popular but is completely taken out of context! That seems to happen a lot with the bible.
The real version is similar to the original, but the slight changes to the wording make the quote mean something entirely different.
The original verse (Proverbs 27:10) states: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
So what was this actually supposed to mean? There are many many interpretations about everything in the bible, but here is one explanation from Thoughts From Shallot below:
The phrase began among soldiers who fought shoulder-to-shoulder as The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. These men who shed blood together fighting for a common cause shared a bond that their relations would never understand.
Proverbs 27:10 (pretty sure Ive used this verse ad nauseum) says Do not forsake your own friend or your fathers friend, nor go to your brothers house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. Throughout the entirety of the Bible, we see God using people whose families put the fun in dysfunctional. Josephs brothers sold him into slavery. Think about that for a second. Slaves werent hired servants, who were often treated badly enough. A slave was property, and he was treated as an object. He was less than a person. And Josephs brothers threw him into that sorry excuse for a life. Then, to top off that lovely little bit of familial affection, they deceived their father into thinking that he was dead.
Lets talk about Cain and Abel for a second. A second should be all thats necessary, since these two have long ceased to be individuals and have become little more than a cautionary tale about the treachery of brothers. Abel did the right thing— so his brother got jealous of his goody-two-shoes siblings and beat his brains out. Real mature.
Jacob and Esau? Those two made the Montagues and the Capulets look like the Brady Bunch.
Tell me again about how family is such a great thing.
Everyone I know who protests the point Im trying to make here is someone from a very close-knit family that understands the way God meant that social unit to operate. If thats you, then praise God, because He has blessed you in ways that a lot of the world will never understand. Im not here to rend asunder what God has put together.
But for everyone else— the ones who come from broken homes, the ones who could never confide in their father or brother, the ones who never knew their birth parents, the ones who are alienated from their families: you are not alone. God is A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows…[He] sets the solitary in families (Psalm 68:5-6.) Before the world was created, He predestined us to adoption as sons (Ephesians 1:5,) and loved [us] with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3.) God knows full well how broken human families are. But He is a perfect Father. And your adopted Brother? He took on mortal flesh just so that He could die to save you. He didnt just pull some strings from on high, no, He walked willingly to the whip, and the thorns, and the nails, and the spear, and shed His blood to make you a part of His family so that you need never be alone again.
The blood of the covenant made in Christ is by far thicker than the water of the sinful human womb.
This particular quote is often used to justify nationalism to a most extreme degree. People believe that you should stick with, and agree with, your country, whether it's right or wrong. The quote is often used as a justification for war, or other cruelties that certain countries inflict on other countries.
Well, that is definitely not how it was supposed to come across. The quote, said by German-American Carl Schurz in 1872, actually said: "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right."
It sounds a lot better when you hear it like that!
Okay, so here's a quote that is used pretty commonly in modern colloquialism. It's usually intended to mean, "the proof is right within this thing."
However, (sigh) this is also a misquote.
The original saying goes back to the 14th Century, perhaps earlier, and the misquote was coined in the 1920s. So, we have a pretty long history of messing this one up. I have some good news, though! The original statement makes a whole lot more sense.
"The proof of the pudding is in the eating."
This phrase was intended to mean that you need to try out the food to know whether it was good or not. It's a great phrase to use for people who say they "don't like a food" before even trying it. You know who I'm talking about, Janet.
This is a quote from Alice in Wonderland, that has since been co-opted for use in popular culture, as a saccharine way to express the importance of love. It's even the title of several popular songs.
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not how it was intended.
In Alice in Wonderland, this sentence is spit out by the Duchess, who is a horribly mean character. She makes this comment in passing immediately after she advocates for beating her baby for sneezing. Not exactly the quote of a sweet, peaceful person. In Lewis Carroll's version, the Duchess was speaking sarcastically.
You know, it's a real shame that we've taken what used to be a really lovely phrase and twisted it so much. Sure, the devil might be in your details, but for the originator of the phrase, a brilliant German architect named Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, God was in the details.
Yep, that's right, he said, "God is in the details" and we just had to come along and turn it into a steaming crap pile.
Fun fact: Ludwig Mies van der Rohe is also credited with the famous saying, "Less is more." I'm pretty sure that one has remained the same over time, it's pretty hard to mess up something so short. Though, on the other hand, we English speakers really have a knack for this type of thing.
While this is a very beautiful quote, it is often said that it was intended to be said to a woman. Nope! Shakespeare, who wrote this famous sonnet (arguably his most famous) actually wrote it for a man. He wrote hundreds of sonnets about the same man, who is written about in history as his dearest friend, though it's hard to say whether they may have been romantically involved.
This quote is often used in an attempt to make Al Gore look like a weirdo. Despite this, Al Gore never claimed to invent the internet. What did he say?
Gore told Late Edition on CNN, During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.
Gore was referring to the part he played in funding the government development that led to the internet becoming the phenomenon it is today.
It was Declan McCullagh, news writer for Wired, who later changed it to "invented" when describing criticism from Dick Armey of Gores statement.
This quote went viral after Osama Bin Laden's death. It's most often attributed to Martin Luther King, Jr. In reality? It was pulled from the Faceboo status of a 24-year-old English teacher.
This is commonly misattributed to Gandhi, but it's unlikely that he said it. Instead, The Christian Science Monitor pointed out that there is very similar wording within the speech of activist Nicholas Klein, delivered in 1918. Nicholas said: "First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. And then they attack you and want to burn you. And then they build monuments to you. And that, is what is going to happen to the Amalgamated Clothing Workers of America."
Nice try, people.
You know that famous quote that Nelson Mandela said? The one that gets us through every day, knowing that we just need to look fear in the eye and say back off! I can do this!
Well, it's not exactly what you thought it was. It turns out, Nelson Mandela never uttered these words.
Instead, it was a passage from a self help book written by Marianne Williamson in 1992.
The full passage said: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
If you really think about it, this quote doesn't even make sense. The word "man" in this context is a synonym for "mankind", so saying this is essentially like saying, That's one small step for mankind, one giant leap for mankind."
Fortunately, Neil Armstrong didn't actually say this.
The transmission was cutting out, and there was one word in the sentence that escaped our hearing: "a."
Yep, that simple word made a big difference, because what Armstrong was trying to say was, "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."
Well... that is until you add in the controversy!
According to Wikiquote:
- In the actual sound recordings he apparently fails to say "a" before "man" and says: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." This was generally considered by many to simply be an error of omission on his part. Armstrong long insisted he did say "a man" but that it was inaudible. Prior to new evidence supporting his claim, he stated a preference for the "a" to appear in parentheses when the quote is written. In September 2006 evidence based on new analysis of the recordings conducted by Peter Shann Ford, a computer programmer based in Sydney, Australia, whose company Control Bionics helps physically handicapped people to use their own nerve impulses to communicate through computers, indicated that Armstrong had said the missing "a." This information was presented to Armstrong and NASA on 28 September 2006 and reported in the Houston Chronicle (30 September 2006). The debate continues on the matter, as "Armstrong's 'poetic' slip on Moon" at BBC News (3 June 2009) reports that more recent analysis by linguist John Olsson and author Chris Riley with higher quality recordings indicates that he did not say "a".
Hmmm, if you actually listen to the movie it says, "life was like a box of chocolates." Close, but no cigar.
Another little misquote! People usually quote the Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as looking at the mirror and saying this. In reality, she doesn't say mirror twice, but instead says, "Magic mirror."
Henry David Thoreau is often cited as having said this rather whimsical quote. However, this is a diluted and twisted version of something he did say that (somewhat) expressed the sentiment. Who knows how the quote diverged so far from it's source. Here is what he really said:
I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours … In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness."
Thanks for reading!
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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