Atmospheric changes inside caves can unleash winds powerful enough to knock the hat off of a tourist.
But the powerful stench of a young girl's fart in tight quarters can knock tourists unconscious.
According to this woman, one of her first traumatic memories going through puberty was passing serious gas while visiting Mammoth Cave National Park.
The stench was so rancid, it even prompted her clueless mother Karen to behave like the characteristics of the eponymous meme by demanding some answers from their tour guide.
The memory from that episode still haunts Redditor "Amacrum" to this day.
The original poster (OP) shared her gassy story in the TIFU (Today I F*d Up) SubReddit and emphasized that her subterranean tushy cough happened years ago.
"Obligatory this didn't happen today.. It happened about 23 years ago but it was my first traumatic cringe."
"I was twelve. Picture what it would look like if Wednesday Addams really was genuinely dying to get into the Babysitters Club. Yup that's me."
"Having my second period ever, complete with Satan's tsunami of pain and f*ckery happening to my insides."
"My family decided this is when were going to go visit Mammoth Cave National Park. I'm still in that stage when I'm embarrassed by my period/ sure that everyone everywhere just KNOWS it's shark week for me."
"(We're traveling light by my parents insistence so when I need a pad it's off to hassle dad to dig one out of his fanny pack and make the mortified trek to the bathroom. That's it's own tween trauma.)"
"We're taking the cave tour and in one of those really tight places with a horrible name like 'Fat man's death' and all hell is brewing in my gut."
"Audible growling like hellhounds begging to be freed, loud enough for the people next to me to get that shifty eyed wtf look."
"At the time I'm 4'11" maybe a hundred lbs and all that stands between the world and the nuclear bomb in my gut is THE CLENCH."
"I clenched you guys. I clenched through so much of the longest cave system in the world (Google it) and I just couldn't f*ckin do it anymore. I fell victim to the oldest myth we tell ourselves... Just let a lil out. Just a little and I'll feel so much better...."
The proverbial flood gates opened and nothing could prevent the olfactory emission from assaulting everyone's nostrils.
"So I did...And I didn't. I cracked the door, but all the demons escaped. What came out was the most inexplicably silent fart accompanied by the most rancid smell I've ever smelled."
"The kind that immediately makes you think it couldn't possibly have come from your own body... Or any living body."
"Immediately there was shuffling as it hit the polite people around me and they tried to avoid overly embarrassing the green skinned little girl with the demon gut it had to have come from."
Enter the OP's mother, whose name is a popular meme used to insult entitled White women who often complain in public and ask to speak to a manager.
"This is where my mother comes into play. There's one thing you must know about my mother. Her name is Karen. Legend has it she is the original."
@MeghanMcCain Official Know Your Meme Moment: "Meghan" is a Karen with a plus-sized attitude. https://t.co/0SnHyJ2Ncg— Ministry of Information - Cosmopolitan Control🥯 (@Ministry of Information - Cosmopolitan Control🥯) 1581525205.0
"If I had a dime for every manager spoken to while her family sat red faced, pleadingly apologizing with their eyes (blink twice for help) I'd be a Scrooge McDuck rich."
The mother inquired the tour guide about the source of the toxic airborne event.
"So here we are stewing in rancid hellfire corpse level stank and my mother asks the poor teenage tour guide (who is trying not to gag) 'Are there Sulfur deposits down here? I smell sulfur.'"
"Silence. A few discreet glances at the miserable little girl from polite strangers."
"No ma'am, no sulfur in this part of the cave system."
"My mother is never wrong. Not even when she's wrong. She insists...'That can't be right. I smell sulfur.'"
"No ma'am. No Sulfur."
"If there was a manager nearby we'd have already been speaking to them. She's getting very upset because she's obviously RIGHT she obviously smells Sulfur and this ridiculous teenager doesn't know what the hell he's taking about."
"The back and forth goes on. Forever. Her insistence that she's right keeps ratcheting up. That poor bastard."
"To his credit he glanced at me, and did the kindest thing that kept me from just completely shriveling up and dying on the spot."
"He plastered a queasy grin on his face and said, 'You know what ma'am maybe there's is Sulfur down here I'm going to double check on that as soon as we get back. Maybe I'll learn something new today.'"
"The cringe was so full on I don't remember anything else about that day. It's a blank."
"On that fateful day I learned never to trust a fart, that cringe that deep in the early tweens leaves a little scar tissue on your soul, and that the kindness of strangers is a very real thing."
And there you have it.
Redditors imagined the horrors of being one of the tourists reckoning with the punishment nobody deserves.
"Farting in a cave is like the ultimate dutch oven. Everybody's just trapped in there with it." – rj4001
Who doesn't love a good fart story?
"I dropped rancid ass in an airplane hangar when in college...It cleared the area immediately around me...then the cloud drifted, but retained sufficient concentration to clear out ANOTHER group across the hangar about 5 minutes later."
"Not gonna lie...I'm pretty proud of that one." – 0xD153A53
"My friend has a story from when he was on a tour bus in Morocco and someone let out a quiet but deadly fart. the tour guide stopped mid sentence and said with a very strong accent "Ah, silent but violent..." – homebrandsoap
"I farted in front of my ex's son. He was startled and asked what the noise was. I told him my butt sneezed. Without missing a beat he says 'oh well then bless you!'"
"That kid is gonna go far." – freyjathebloody
"I'm a second-generation butt duster and man, there are some times I wonder what exists in my gut."
"I went with my mom and step-dad to get a cake for my Sweet 16 and for some reason had some raunchy internals that day. We were talking to the clerk at the bakery when I let out a silent(?) but toxic cloud, which my family, myself, and the clerk all were hit by at once."
"I had to deal with my step-father quietly gagging, my mother turning beet red, and the poor clerk trying to not be ill over the little cake book while simultaneously doing my best not too pee myself from holding in laughter. And it stuck with us the entire time we were there, so about 5 minutes at least."
"I still get a tongue lashing from my mom about that one, she was so embarrassed (I can give her crap now because her colostomy bag likes to be a mini bagpipe)."
"I think that time and the time my charter bus fart managed to make at least 50 other band students sick (including our directors) are tied." – Iradelle
Now, this is a cute catchphrase.
"When our daughter was a toddler my husband used to say 'catch that and paint it green' after a fart. Kids repeat everything and she repeated the phrase in her daycare after she tooted."
"It was a awkwardly funny moment when I picked her up and had to answer-the question. 'What does catch that and paint it green mean?"'– mellentheorchadork
This Redditor believes that clenching is the last thing you should be doing when a toxic storm is brewing in your colon.
"This is honestly how a fart should be dealt with. I have stomach issues, and can't control my farts well. Some days it's just like a machine gun.
"On those bad days, I just start laughing like crazy as my wife just shakes her head. She's gotten used to it, and some times will laugh as well."
"The worst is when you are at work and gotta let one out. But when I'm having stomach issues, some times they'll slip out when I try to head to the bathroom. Some days they'll just slip and make the loudest fart you've ever heard."
"I was standing outside with a few friends once, and it happened. Instantly, everyone just burst out laughing about it."
"Farting isn't something to be ashamed of, and it can actually cause you some damage if you hold it in. I say we should just the wind flow freely, but keep an freshener near you though!" – StrangerFeelings
Conditions inside caves are ideal for some things and not so much for others.
"Caves are usually humid. The moisture in the air traps the fart molecules and it floats in place like a cloud on a windless day. Prime dusting territory. I really need to visit a cave again." – Pi-stache-io
What an epic burn.
"My mom always said she can't fart cause women don't get a**holes til they get married." – DownToFarm
Didn't Karen talk about periods?
"That might explain how you felt about your period too. I felt so comfortable telling people I had it, and especially with my family."
"My dad would buy pads for me often. But, my mom talked about periods from before I can remember, so to me it was just a normal thing before I got it."
"I'm sorry that your mom caused you so much trouble." – boo29may
Which one is worse? The wrath of a Karen, or the fury of the foulest flatulence?
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
