This article is an excuse for me to talk about how terrifying Argentina is.
See, I have a well-deserved healthy respect for orcas. I am fully aware that I am out here walking around like a chicken tender and that an orca could, and would, likely just casually chomp me down.
More than that, we know orcas can, and do, communicate in highly sophisticated ways: often about food sources and hunting techniques.
Imagine being eaten by an orca and then it goes and gives you a 2 star review on Orca-Yelp like "Eh, it was a little screamy on the way down..."
I can't. If I'm going to get eaten, I'd rather it not be by something capable of criticizing me afterwards. It's a nightmare scenario.
As such, I have decided the entire country of Argentina is a hellscape for me.
Reddit user eeca20 asked:
"What is the wildest animal fact you know?"
Which leads us to the fun-fact I learned while sick-watching a nature documentary a few years ago.
The orcas in Argentina have taught themselves how to hunt on land.
But first let's talk about some other stuff...
Deadly Whale SongsSperm Whale Diving GIF by OceanaGiphy
"The sperm whale is the loudest animal on Earth and could potentially kill you with just the noises it makes."
"They've been recorded over 200db, which is comparable to a space rocket launch in close proximity. There's conflicting evidence but some scientists think they can use noise to stun or even kill giant squid."
"They can also expel about 90% of the air from their lungs before they dive and store extra oxygen in their blood, so they don't get decompression sickness from their deep dives. This also helps to make them less buoyant."
"They can dive up to 10,000 feet deep for over an hour."
"It's also the largest toothed predator to have ever lived and have the largest brains on the planet."
LumosLooking Coral Reef GIF by Monterey Bay AquariumGiphy
"Humans have 3 colour receptors and can see roughly 20 million colours. Mantis shrimps have 27 colour receptors."
"Let that sink in."
"A mantis shrimp's eye has 3 bands - one for seeing visible light, one for infrared and one for ultraviolet. The reason they have so many colour receptors is so they can actually process all of the information given to them by each band, and not just have a sensory overload."
"Also, Mantis shrimps can punch faster than the speed of sound, so they can effectively cause sparks underwater."
"They punch so fast (the same acceleration as a .22 bullet) that a bubble of vacuum is created."
"The cavitation then violently collapses causing temperatures equal to the surface of the sun. So they're actually punching the water so hard and fast that they're causing light to be created from that punch... sonoluminescence."
The RavensDavid Attenborough Life GIFGiphy
"I know wolves and ravens have a mutual relationship."
"Ravens will search for prey from above and make a specific call to alert the pack. The wolves make the kill and leave a bit behind so the ravens can get their fill."
"I watched a raven beat the crap out of a falcon last summer."
"It was shocking how much more agile and capable it was in the air. The raven was easily flying circles around the falcon."
BlueBlue Eyes Hbo GIF by Game of ThronesGiphy
"Most blue in nature is not through pigments."
"It's something called 'structural color' where complex microscopic structures literally trap other wavelengths of visible light. Most blue pigment is actually a diluted purple."
"I believe only one butterfly and a type of fish have actual blue pigment. Everything else is structural."
"Even humans with blue eyes don't have blue pigment, they have structural color."
The Strongest BearWater Bear Snow GIF by PBS Digital StudiosGiphy
"Tardigrades - also called water bears - can be boiled, frozen, subjected to immense pressure, the vacuum of space, or dried out for a decade… and live!"
"They also used them to test the survival of a living organism surviving interplanetary travel of space debris. Water bears survived impact speeds up to 825 meters per second (1845 mph)."
Snake SilliesJungle Book Snake GIFGiphy
"Many survivors of black mamba bites have reported feeling euphoric as the (neurotoxic) venom began to take effect."
"Such reports lead scientists to isolate the responsible compounds from the venom, which are currently being investigated for use as non-opioid painkillers."
"The inland taipan is the world's most potently-venomous snake, which means it takes a lesser amount of inland taipan venom to kill a person than any other snake venom."
"Despite this potency, however, there has never been a (reported, much less confirmed) human death by inland taipan bite. This is largely because these snakes live towards the center of the Australian continent, where there is basically zero human habitation."
"Wait, euphoric as in happy, giddy, and silly? It bites you, then gives you and gives you a case of the sillies so you die with a joygasm?"
"That is both terrifying and rather polite."
Argentina's Orcasdiscovery channel swimming GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
"Orca’s off the coast of Argentina have a hunting tradition where they intentionally beach themselves in order too snag sealions from the shore."
"Yeah, orcas hunt on land now, too."
"Jesus imagine finding a stranded orca, thinking it’s dead, coming close to it and it bites your f*cking head off that’s terrifying."
A Fish Out Of WaterDavid Bowie Yes GIFGiphy
"Betta Fish are anabantoids, meaning they breathe some air like humans with a special organ called a labyrinth organ."
"I have one as a pet and I can’t fill the tank to the top so he can breathe at the top. Every few minutes or so he comes up for a quick gulp of air, then goes back to whatever he is doing."
"Because of this, if a betta jumps out of water, (they are also great jumpers, can sometimes jump more than 3 inches, evolved like that because in natural environment so jump from water to water) they can survive, in the right conditions!"
"A betta can survive 6 hours out of water if they are in a humid environment to maintain moisture, and can breathe in oxygen with their labyrinth organ."
The Lion Kingnat geo hyena GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy
"Hyenas have a startlingly complex Matriarchal social structure and they are one of the most well adapted animals to their environment."
"As most will know, they eat bone with their immensely strong teeth and jaws, but this serves a very important function. Their droppings are white, and very rich in Potassium and Calcium, so helps to nourish the plains so that other wildlife can thrive, making them critical to their Biosphere."
"Also their forelegs are longer than their back legs, giving them the advantage of being able to see further across the plains compared to a similar sized animal with more proportional legs."
"The Lion King has a lot to answer for the reputation of Hyenas as duplicitous and base creatures!"
Male MosquitoMosquito GIF by DiscoveryGiphy
"Most people have never seen a male mosquito and wouldn't recognize one if they did."
"Why? They don't drink blood (flower nectar only for those "bad boys") so you won't have them land on you, they are typically quite a bit smaller than the female, and they have weird branched antennae that kind of look like tiny deer antlers."
"How do I know? Well, I took a medical entomology class with a lab and then spent almost a year doing lab research on mosquitoes where the first step in my experiments was to raise them and the day the emerged from larvae separate the boys from the girls... since I was only conducting my experiments on females."
So before we wrap this up, I want to go back to this whole orcas-hunting-on-land thing. I don't think Reddit really went into how absolutely terrifying this is.
The mental image of one lone orca laying around on land chomping on sea lions is bad enough, but what Reddit didn't talk about is how the orca gets back into the water.
Orcas can't walk on their front flippers like sea lions can. They can't really belly-scoot like seals, either.
They have to get back into the water through the power of team work. That is not heart-warming, stop "aww-ing" and start "AAAAAHHHH!-ing" in existential horror.
The rest of the pod lines up along the beach and, in unison, use their tails to create a wave big enough to wash the beached orca back into the water.
They have to coordinate that. They have to talk that out.
They have to decide whose turn it is to take the risk of going on land, then appoint someone to be spotter for that guy and look/listen for signs of distress or the signal that land-orca is ready to come back into the water.
They have to work out and agree on what those signs and signals will be.
Argentinian orcas have already done all of that - and done it so well that they are now teaching it to their orca children, grandorcas, etc. They get together for educational sessions and will often capture, release, and re-capture the same poor traumatized sea lion over and over for training purposes.
This level of management, communication, and coordination this proves they're using is horrifying - particularly when you consider that humans are probably far easier to catch than sea lions.
They basically have HR, trade school, and on-the-job training, fam! How does anyone in Argentina even dare to GLANCE at the ocean knowing what their orcas are capable of?
I'm out, Argentina. Y'all can keep your terminator orcas.
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Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."