"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
It's an old saying that rings true. Whether you move on from your first love, or end up together forever, falling in love is part of our growth as human beings.
Redditor u/dirtykid15 wanted to hear details on people's heartbreaks and happily ever afters, and asked... "What happened to your first love?"
10. They didn't have the courage
"I didn't have the courage to ask her out even though she was clearly interested and then life happened and I haven't seen her since."
9. Jealousy got in the way
"Dated for 3 years in high school. Summer before senior year she turned crazy. And I'm not just saying that. She would get super jealous of me going to work, because "other girls worked there". We went to the same school, so my job was really the only place where I saw other girls and she wasn't around. I had given her no reason to not trust me or be jealous at all the previous 2 years.
She came into my work one day, didn't order any food, and just sat there with her mom and brothers and watched me work to see if I talked to any female coworkers. It's a job, I have to communicate with my coworkers. Needless to say, a female coworker asked me to do something while she was there. She got pissed right there in the restaurant, confronting me and everything. I told her to leave. We broke up a few months later, haven't heard from her in years. Feel bad for any other bf's that have come behind me!"
8. His friends made sure it never happened
Giphy
"Long story short, I wrote him a letter in 8th grade, his female friends found out, and then teased/bullied me into high school. He never answered the letter, or even talked to me again. I never asked out anyone ever again and have been single since."
7. They're living a full life
"Last I saw he's a real estate agent in Encinitas California. We dated when we were younger in Ontario, Canada. Seems to be doing well, has gained some weight (but haven't we all), married to a hippy but cute chicky and they have a kiddo who unfortunately has a cystic fibrosis.
He was a great guy, from what I've heard he still is. *I wasn't stalking him, while out in California visiting friends I saw his real estate ad. Unbeknownst to him, got that friend of mine to use him and buy a house with him! He was the one who told me about the wife and kiddo also about a surf fundraiser which I also anonymously donated."
6. Lost a partner and a good friend
"Childhood sweethearts, he was my best friend. We lost touch. He got married, I am with someone else. I am happy for him and wish him the world. I still think about him, losing his friendship sometimes feels like I lost a limb. I have moved on though."
5. Unfortunately, they passed away...
"She died on my 33rd birthday. It had been 18 years since I first told her I was going to marry her, 11 since I did."
4. She was toying with them
"We dated for a few months, then one day she said she wasn't comfortable with dating. I didn't even get to kiss her. But wait it gets better. I thought this sucks but I guess it can't be helped. Then a week later I see her dating someone else. And she was kissing him too. Now I'm not a hateful person, okay. But if there is one thing I absolutely dispise, It's having my feelings and emotions toyed with. Now I have trouble trusting the people close to me."
3. They never matured
"Dated for 5 years. He stayed the same, I grew up. Hes still doing just enough to make it, drowning himself in substance. Hes a good guy for someone, just not me."
2. They were married... kinda
"We were married in preschool but I moved away. Met him again when I was 18 or 19 and he was such a genuinely lovely guy and remembered our little wedding! We aren't close now but I wish him the best."
1. They actually got married
Giphy
"He's sitting next to me on the couch eating the soup I made for dinner and complaining about The Last Jedi.
Married for three years."
I'm browsing reddit and she's playing Runescape. Cat is lying strategically between us so that he can get pets from either side. Coming up on 20 years' married next March.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
​Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
​This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
​Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
​This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
​Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
​Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.​
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run