High school or middle school are both really weird times for kids.
They're going through EVERYTHING and hormones are crazy and it's all just a lot for them to take in. So people end up in situations that are less than ideal.
And then of course, to make everything worse, people talk behind each others' backs. And then teachers hear it?
Yikes.
u/TripleAReddit asked:
Teachers of Reddit, what's the weirdest rumour you've heard about a student?
Here were some of those weirdo rumors.
Oh Yikes When It's TRUE Though
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There was this rumor that this senior girl in my high school was dating one of the science teachers. She hung around his office and after class a lot, but it seemingly was nothing. Just kids making up dumb sh*t for whatever reasons they do. He was a beloved teacher, and she was pretty low key, but a cool girl none the less. Figured some douche got a bad grade or had it out for the guy somehow, nothing ever came of it.
Curve ball, a few months after she graduated he divorced his wife, left his family, and went public on facebook that he was dating this 18 year old girl. He was probably in his mid forties. Did NOT see that coming.
Totally Understandable Cravings
Heard a rumor kids were doing drugs in the bathroom. I worked at an inner city school and coke really wasn't a big problem- pot was their choice. I walked out of my class during planning period to find a girl walking out of the bathroom with white powder on her nose. I asked her about it and she responded with "its powdered donuts, Mrs. K! I swear! I'm pregnant and it's all I want to eat. But everyone thinks I'm doing drugs." She then pulled out two empty bags of powdered donuts. We got her connected to some pregnancy help.
Why Are Kids This Astute
Former band director here.
We had a color guard girl who COULD. NOT. catch any time she tossed her flag. The kids made up a rumor that she had a glass eye and that was why she couldn't catch anything.
Two years later, the girl was about to graduate and came into our office to talk to the staff. She had never told a soul, but her left eye had been glass for years. She lost it in a car accident before moving into our district. You couldn't tell by just looking at her.
Turns out, the made-up rumor was 100% spot-on.
God Help The Mister Who Comes Between Me And My Sister
Two students (fraternal twins) arrive at the school age 15. One looked older than the other, but that happens. Then the rumour comes out that they are not twins, but sisters. I tell the Behaviour Support workers, who look into it: turns out, one of the sisters is 22 years old. Parents lied about her age to get her into the school and therefore stay in the country. Whoops.
I Am The Rumor
Back in October, me and a similar-looking teacher kept getting mixed up by our kids (7th grade). We started a rumor by giving little hints that we were half-brothers. Nothing super obvious, but just enough to get them thinking.
We've been pouring it on a lot more recently though. Hopefully we can get a photo with "our" (my) dad over spring break right before... April Fools Day
The Gays Don't Deserve This
Okay A girl who lied on social media about having an affair with a teacher, she recanted later when it was revealed he was gay. First she claimed to have been hacked. Then she said it never happened to her but to another girl she was protecting. Full police investigation later and she admitted to doing it because she felt she needed support from her peers.
One student was rumored to be a Satanist witch who was scared to God's holy light, since she wore modest clothing and used an umbrella in full sun. She had vitiligo and was undergoing a steroid therapy that made her extremely sensitively sun light.
Colleague married a "much younger woman" who was rumored to be his student. She was neither, the woman they saw him with was his daughter.
Life Paths Amirite
My mom's a teacher and I went to high school where she taught. She had a student who I was also friends with. I ended up hanging out with him again after a few years and after some drinks he told me he was in a couple pornos right after he graduated. My mom couldn't f*cking believe it when I told her because he was, and still is, a really polite, quirky, socially awkward kid. He refuses to tell me his porn name tho, which I'm bummed about.
He Played On White People Not Knowing African Geography
A new transfer student enlisted the help of all of his existing friends in the school to spread the rumor that his REAL name was "Mbaku" and he was born in "Wakanda, Africa" to all the teachers, while speaking in a really shoddy Nigerian accent (we're in the American Northeast). I was hired halfway through the year and by then it was just assumed that it was true and no one had corrected it. He was brought up in a teacher's meeting and I was just like "Wait.... Mbaku? From... from the fictional continent of Wakanda?". And no one says anything. Dead room. I press on. "... Black Panther? The Movie? Guys?". And suddenly the Social Studies teacher stands up and slams his fist on the table, point at the Vice Principal, and just yells "I G*DDAMN TOLD YOU!".
Good times, good times.
Not Today, Satan
I had a really weird student who was asking all kinds of odd, personal questions, and texted me at odd hours (I never responded). Talked to another teacher who had the same student previously, and she told me that student had a really unnatural sleep cycle because, and I quote, the student was an "avid worshipper of satan". The student was on standby for spontaneous worship at all hours of the day.
The student actually told me about it later on. Nothing threatening, just very matter-of-factly. Confirmed the whole thing and hinted about being part of a large group, and hinted at there being "many ways" one must be ready to serve. Didn't get any clarification, so it might just have been to mess with me.
Not my worst student, but... odd.
So They Say It's Your "One Year Closer To Death" Day
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Heard a rumor that a kid was crying because it was his birthday. Went to check it out, and guess what, the rumor was true. Asked him why he was crying it was his birthday and, I am now quoting, "I hate the attention. Like, who cares, you're another year older. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHILE THEY ARE SINGING?!" I sat there just nodding my head and said "You know what, I can't fault you for that one, dude. I feel ya."
War Face GIF
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.