We've all seen the shocking scene in a romantic movie where someone, usually the brides ex, shows up at the wedding and objects. It's so common in movies and TV that it seems ridiculous, but how common is it in real life?
Reddit user _AhappyTeddyBear asked:
A friend of the couple's in cosplay armor (think Master Chief) ran in, asked the date, said "Then I'm not too late!" pointed a big, fake spacey rifle at the bride and said "Mother of the Xenocide, the fruit of thy womb will never destroy my planet! Die, [not her name]!"
And the groom went "Her name is [her name]."
"This is [date]?"
"[Almost right location]?"
"Oh, no. You want [other, very similar location, one so commonly confused the invitations had mentioned it.]"
"Oh. ...My bad. Have a nice day."
Theatre majors, man. I do not even.
Not speak now part, but well, you'll see.
Friend of mine was getting married in the park under the trees because both of them were nature people and groom had a dog that went everywhere with him that wasn't allowed in any church because dog despite being well trained and quiet.
There were some rows of chairs with lots of people filling them including Groom's mother who was sitting with his dog. Bride and Groom were at the front with the officiant. Officiant begins. Officiant comes to the part where he says, "Do you take …" Groom's dog, Shadow, began to howl a loud, long, mournful howl. Everyone laughed. Officiant started the question again. Loud, long, mournful howl again. Everyone laughed. Groom told Shadow to come to the front. Shadow ran up, stood directly in between the bride and groom and the officiant started again. Not a peep from Shadow. Her vows. His vows. Officiant looked at Shadow and asked, "Shadow do you take bride and groom to be your lawfully wedded parents?" Shadow barked one single bark. Officiant concluded the ceremony, everyone cheered and clapped, and Shadow barked three times, the only times that he made any sounds. Not kidding. Beautiful dog too.
Drama, So Much Drama
My wife drug me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I'm forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. Bride's LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, "I'll be god-damned if I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of sh*t!" This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom WITH A PISTOL threatening to shoot him if he doesn't give her up. It wasn't a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people but every single one of them went screaming and running and maybe 2 people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife's hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
Last Minute Confession
I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, which was very close to the hall the weddings were at. We were told that the reception would begin around 4pm. It was already about 3ish and I was packing fridges, the usual bar man things, while one of the male guests was still sitting there drinking. I asked if he was not joining the reception, to which he replied something along the lines of "when I have the courage". He downs his drink, and leaves. 10 minutes later he's back, looking extremely disappointed. Guy orders a drink, and less than 30 seconds later another guy who's dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves. This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further.
I eventually found out that this dude, had downed his drink, walked into the receptions down admitted to sleeping with the wife on her hen night, and again the night before the wedding. He was never invited to the wedding, he just felt the groom needed to know. So he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-ceremony.
My aunt was getting married to her second husband, and during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, their baby started crying.
The dude officiating it said "If anyone older than six months has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace"
He got a laugh and the wedding carried on. They're still together 10 years later, so I guess whatever my cousin had to say was misinformed
Joke's On Dad
To be fair, I didn't witness this, but it happened to my parents.
My mom invited an ex she was still rather close with to her wedding and he stood up and yelled "I object!!"
Little did everyone at the wedding know, my dad had gotten rather close with him and paid him to stand up and object just for the sh*ts and giggles and he bursts out laughing.
My mom didn't find it as funny and it really started their marriage off on the right foot.
So I'm attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada, I don't know most anyone because it was my ex-step-aunts, so my brothers family I never see . It was fun anyways, the bride flew in on a seaplane and all the chairs were set up on the sand.
Anyways, the groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy.
So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettin' teary from the vows. Then the line comes '….any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.'
Nobody expected this; The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. We're all waiting with baited breath but, he's just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says 'No, I kid, I kid' and the whole spirit of the audience cheers up as he sits back down.
Rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying 'good one' or scolding him. Damn good night. Best wedding I've been to.
I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when the pastor said that the doors busted open to the sanctuary and a man appeared and started to say "I do!" but two huge ushers, one who was my date quickly grabbed the guy before he could say anything but "uhhh" under the arms and literally lifted him up off the floor and carried him out. The wedding continued as normal.
Turned out the guy was the ex of the bride. Strangest sight I ever saw.
Don't Do It Bro!
At my own wedding. But not in the traditional way. We were getting married along a river at the end of summer and tons of wake boarders and boats were out. I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious... when all of a sudden some dude bro on a boat blasting music screamed "Don't do it bro!!" And sped off.
It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy!
Hard Work Pays Off
It was a medieval themed wedding. The best man declared his love for the bride. Challenged the groom to a fight for her love. They march outside draw swords and go at it. Apparently they choreographed 2 nights a week for like 6 months but it honestly looked like they were trying to kill each other. The groomsman wins and everything goes on like normal 0_o weird but cool.
He’s Got His Priorities Straight
Mom got married to my stepdad, Uncle objected... After the attention was focused on him, he just asked if they were still going fishing afterwards.
To which my stepdad reached into his suit and pulled out his fishing hat.
Very sweet and bromantic. They loved to fish together. Rip though 😪 Remind me to upload the video. Wish I could find a cheap way to digitize the vhs to upload it online.
Edit: bought a vhs/TV combo from Goodwill.
Ah, Rural Families
This was in the early 70s in semi rural Washington state. My cousin was getting married, and my aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well. During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle and the groom's mom jumped up and grabbed my aunt and they started going at it, all the way out the door and into the parking area. They were separated, and everyone filed back into the barn, where the wedding continued. The best part though was when another one of my cousins simply walked into the woods after the wedding because that's where he lived.
At my cousin's wedding when the exchanging of vows took place, my aunt shouted "Wasn't there supposed to be a part where you could object?", or something along those lines.
Minister: Over ruled!
So Much Drama
When I was 13 we went to my 2nd cousin's wedding. Everything is going great... They even got past the speak now or forever hold your peace part. They wrote their own vows but before my 2nd cousins fiance/wife could even begin her vows his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with her drug dealer and he couldn't let his dad marry her. My 2nd cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my 2nd cousin married her anyways, and 5 years and one baby later he finds out it was true and they separated but were to tweeked out to be able to afford a divorce.
Finally he got married a third time but before he could get married his third now ex wife had to pay for their divorce. This wedding had no objections. They moved to Missouri and this time instead of separating or asking for a divorce he decided he didn't want to be married anymore and just moved back to Cali... To get back together with his second ex wife.
Yepp family dinners are a little awkward.
I saw it nearly happen at my uncles wedding a friend of theirs got too drunk, and when say said speak now he smiled, started to standup. My mother grabbed him by his hair and sat him back down by force.
Edit: Clarification and context
It was my mother (the grooms sister). The drunk was a close friend of both the bride and groom so he was seated up front. He's a nice dude but sometimes a bit of a dumbass It was a a small non-traditional wedding. They were wed in the botanical gardens by a justice of the peace. The reception was held in the same place. When you entered the area for the wedding /reception there was an open bar so some people helped themselves before the ceremony started. And one overindulged a bit.
Own Your Mistakes
Went to a co-workers wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to get with the MoH, but she told him she wasn't gonna hurt the bride further and that he needs to fuck off. The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here, and I haven't heard from the groom in over a year. The MoH and bride are on speaking terms, but I don't think their relationship is gonna ever be what it used to be.
It was at my wedding that we had at my grandmother's house who lives out in the country next to a cattle farm. The cows didnt make a peep till that moments and one finally went "moo"
We all laughed and continued but it was a funny moment about my wedding.
I was at an Orthodox Jewish wedding with a chuppah ceremony where they read a contract and recite seven blessings. The groom's dad pinched his son's derrière at a most solemn moment, caused him to loudly shriek into the silent audience of 400. Bride saw and snorted loudly.
They also publicly kissed after the ceremony, which was a huge scandal.
Edit: bride and groom kissed; populace could speak of nothing else for months.
Edit 2: no, it's not against Jewish law! It's the community's sensibilities- they just DO NOT do PDA.
Edit 3: it wasn't an objection, but it sure sounded like one during the reading of the contract.
Got booted out of my cousins wedding reception with about 20 other people.
My cousin had her wedding on a farm with a massive pig roast. From what I remember there was a massive amount of people. Anyway, her father and my other older cousin never really got along. At one point during the reception my older cousin had enough and absolutely lost it. He looked at a handful of us and asked if we had his back. Of course we all nodded not really knowing what was about to happen. He disappeared and a few minutes later comes back with a 20lb bag of pork meat from the leftover roast. He walks down to where my cousins dad is (my aunt proceeds to yell, Lonnie NO!!!) and smacks him right in the side of the face with the bag of meat. An all out family brawl ensued. The whole family hasn't been invited to a wedding ever since.
How Bad Was The Worst?!
Only once but it was non-romantic.
The father of the bride had been pretty absentee after her parents divorce. He had re-married and gotten into the Christian Science religion and they were both pretty terrible. The new wife was not invited to my friends wedding but the father came and it seemed like he was there to be supportive. He stood up during vows and proclaimed my friend was 'a bitch just like her mother' and the groom ' should get out while he can because my friend was a soul leeching succubus'
Not the worst wedding I ever went to
What is the worst wedding experience you’ve had
Books are life. Recently studies have been published that reading for fun, reading for knowledge, just interest in reading in general is down, and that is a tragedy.
We've become too obsessed with our binge watching and ADHD mindset that we've lost focus on one of life's greatest joys... literature.
There are some stories and books that should be a mandatory read for life. There should be age benchmarks that require knowledge of certain books in order to progress. I know, how "1984" of me. ;)
Redditor u/bugtanks33d wanted to hear about what literature we should all be familiar with sooner than later by asking:
What's a book everyone should read at least once in their lives?
One of my favorite books is "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." It was a key element in unlocking what I could see with my imagination. No adolescent should go beyond sixth grade without knowing it. What else?
"ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE READING THIS THREAD:"
"MANY OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED HERE ARE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND IN AUDIO BOOK FORM. GO THROUGH YOUTUBE/RANDOMHOUSE/AUDIBLE/OVERDRIVE FOR ALL THE CLASSICAL GOODNESS YOU WANT."
"It almost totally eliminates the financial/time commitment that many will cite for not picking them up. I listen to books on double speed all the damn time. I am working my way through "A Tale of Two Cities" now."
Meaningwondering simon cowell GIF by X Factor GlobalGiphy
"Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl."
"The Phantom Tollbooth."
"Milo: "Many of the things I'm supposed to know seem so useless that I can't see the purpose of learning them at all."
"Princess of Sweet Rhyme: "...what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover the wonderful secrets of tomorrow."
"Johnny's Got His Gun. It's so intense, but it's so good. Metallica's song One is based off this book. Guy has his arms and legs blown off, goes blind and deaf, and is left to live like that. I only read it once, but it's forever engrained into my memory. It hits you like a freight train."
"Surprised I haven't seen it here already so I'll add it... The Brother's Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. In Slaughterhouse 5 Vonnegut said it could teach everything that we needed to know about life, except that wasn't enough anymore."
"If the only thing that book did was make you marvel at how people centuries and oceans removed from you in time and place, could experience the exact same emotions about life as you did, it would be worth the read. There's so much more to it, but Dostoyevsky had such a knack for digging deep into universal human experience. And it's just a hell of a good story too."
Classicsdiva read GIFGiphy
"Speaking as somebody who isn't religious, the literary value of the Bible (and the Hebrew Bible) is severely underrated."
I took a class on it in college, with a prof who'd once allegedly gotten into a bar fight over Beowulf. We would sometimes spend half a class discussing a single verse or two because there's so much stuff going on under the hood."
I know so many of those. And sadly, I'm already behind in my studies. I love books and I'm always on the path to find more to consume. Let me ready my already lengthy list.
WARWar Shockwave GIFGiphy
"All Quiet on the Western Front. Everyone should have to reckon with the reality of what war actually means."
"Night, by Elie Wiezel. It is absolutely heartwrecking , and I hated every moment of reading it, which is exactly the effect it is supposed to have."
"Came here looking for this one. I had to read it back in high school and it blew me away how moved I was by it. Stories like his need to be remembered for all time, no matter how hard it is to get through (emotionally-speaking; it's actually quite an easy and short read). I'm so grateful that my English teacher assigned it."
"The Westing Game."
"A Librarian here, such a terrific book. I have gotten so many kids to read it by hooking them with the fact that the reader can play the game and has all of the clues. And good luck as it is fiendishly clever."
All the Good Crazy
"The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Such a great book."
"Oh my god yes. I love this book for being the sex, drugs and rock and roll of the classics world. It is lengthy but has revenge, treasure, plots and schemes and drugs. There is nothing stuffy about this classic."
"The Giver- that book made my 9-10 year old mind really think about what was important in society. It was the first time the idea of "good" things having a negative consequence was presented to me. I think what makes it work is that we are learning how this whole society really works along side a character who has lived in it his whole life."
"As the facade of the utopian society begins to fall away to show devastating consequences of the "perfect life and society" the reader not only feels their shock but the main character's shock. This was a book I read in school 4 times- once in 5th grade and once in 10th for English and then in both high school and college sociology classes. This book written for 9-13 year olds made for great discussions."
Good and Bad of Liferead ford GIFGiphy
"The Grapes of Wrath and/or Of Mice and Men. Both are heartbreaking, but not for the sake of being heartbreaking - instead they provide a glimpse of how freaking hard life can be, but also how beautiful it can be."
That is a lot of good advice. And a lot of great storytelling and advice giving. Did anyone miss anything that should be there? And make sure you read anything by Harlan Coben, he's a fav.
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It's always our high school dreams, as shown by every high school teen movie ever, to marry the popular girl or the jock. But high school is high school for a reason; life does not really last outside of the walls of high school in the way it did within.
Jocks tend to fall off their athletic bandwagons. The popular girls have a hell of a time making their way in the working world when their popularity means nothing. People's lives sometimes completely freeze in place.
Or sometimes those people really do completely change, and live their lives for the better.
Here were some of those answers.
"My mom was the elite Atlanta debutante and lived a very cushy life at a budding Miami country club. Beautiful and very popular at the private school. My dad grew up on a farm in Virginia. They weren't poor but they were definitely not refined."
"Eventually my father's family made it down to Miami after selling the farm. He became the lifeguard at the country club pool where my mom spent days lounging about."
"My parents say they saw each other and that was it. The scandal was great - the debutante and the lowly lifeguard...."
"They just celebrated 54 years of marriage. My 'lowly' lifeguard father made quite the life for my mom regardless of what all those elite twats said was going to happen."
"She gladly left the country club life for him and they are still so utterly in love it's crazy. He carries a photo of her at the pool where they met. The only references she makes to being 'that girl' are that they proved everyone wrong."
"They are beautiful and I love their story."-wadinglimpkin
Just Because He's Hot Don't Mean He Can't Be Smart Too
"Not me but my mom married my dad who who was hot sh*t. They met in college when he was an absolute hellion."
"But since then he became a doctor, still a really fun dude. He's also a licensed contractor so when he was bored he built a 6000 square foot barn in our backyard over 10 years completely on his own."
"Absolutely stand up dude."-GravityMyGuy
"I married the cool girl. Super athletic, everyone was her friend. We started dating in high school."
"She's kept up everything people loved about her. Nowadays she isn't as interested in other people, and focuses on herself, her career, us and our future."
"We're planning to buy a house and have kids soon. I'm the breadwinner today but I'm not so sure if that'll be true in a few years lol"-WakeAndVape
See, not all the cool kids go on to have horrible, boring lives after. Sometimes the cool kids were cool because they deserved it.
"As it turned out, I married one of the mean girls, didn't go to her school, didn't find out she was considered that until after the divorce. That's how it turned out."
"Then I dated one of the cool chicks. Did go to her school, did know she was considered that. And she was the most amazing human being I've ever known. That one didn't work out either."
"Now I'm just retired from relationships for a bit, strike 3 would kill me right now."
"This was very therapeutic. I have friends and family that are awesome. Hopefully, I'll have more Someday. For now it's me and my kids I'm focusing on."-read110
A Tale Of Strength (On The Outside)
"My mom was the cool girl all through high school, undergrad, grad school. But life didn't go that well. For most of her life, she had to be caring for someone in the family who was ill, and that took a huge toll on her."
"First it was her dad, then it was me (I had childhood illnesses), then her in-laws in quick succession, then her dad again, and finally she had to nurse my dad until he passed away from a terminal illness."
"She was meant to be social and have fun, and instead she was forced to be around sickness and sadness for her best years."
"But she is a very happy and mentally strong person in general who made the best of things. She hosted a lot of people and events."
"My house growing up was full of people visiting and having fun. She's very charming and easy to talk to, and has a lot of fans all the time."
"Though, my siblings and I find her social side rather annoying. She isn't like that with us, and she tells us her charming side is just an act, and the real her is the lady who is constantly critical of us 'for our own good.'"
"She likes having groupies hanging around, people who are happy to take her help and be grateful to her. She has very few friends who could be considered her equals."
"She also expects a lot from other people and is constantly disappointed. She wants to be the center of everything. She doesn't know to be a guest at anything, she somehow ends up running every event she's invited to."
"She sincerely believes she's helping, but it's just disrespectful sometimes and when we tell her that, she doesn't get it."
"She likes to dominate everything and make decisions for everyone. We joke that if the prime minister was her friend, she'd somehow end up running the country for him."-sensitiveinfomax
Sometimes, Chase The Waterfalls
"My mum was the nerdy girl who got all the As and had zero social skills, and somehow managed to start dating my dad who was the popular, good-looking guy who everyone thought would peak in high school."
"She was actually advised by her family and friends that he wouldn't give her the future she was hoping for. They got married at 19, had me when they were 20, and while they were pretty broke the first few years of my life, he paid for my mum to attend law school, started his own business and 25 years later with 3 kids, they're still so in love and have a pretty cushy life."
"My dad actually met one of the loud voices who told my mum she was making a big mistake marrying him, and she had said how she always knew he would turn out well, which he found hilarious."-samknowsbest8
"Found out recently (30 M) that my dad was extremely popular in highschool from my aunt. I had no idea he was an all-star football player with lots of college offers and was prom and homecoming king."
"Never talks about it, but he's doing well. 2 kids, a dog, and a loving wife, imo he's still winning."-ZoatDGoat
And what counts as successful in high school doesn't necessarily count toward success in later life.
What Kind Of Woman?
"My brother was one of the hottest guys in high school and went on to be a model. He's still cool and hot to many but now he's a bit fat."
"He's my brother so ewww on the hot part in my opinion. But women still swoon and he's so obnoxious. Think Matt Dillon, etc…. Era."
"He got dumped by his model 17 years younger wife for a 26 year old. He has impossible standards and it's making him miserable. He's into these flashy shallow women. Overall he's doing really well and his business is thriving."-RunRevolutionary9019
Always Take The Risk
"I sat next to the popular guy every day pretty much for five years and I was so afraid of speaking to him. I'd watched him and his friends picking each other up and shoving the chosen one into lockers, or chasing each other round into a pile on and throwing their shoes at each other. Typical school sh*t."
"They were rowdy and loud and intimidating, but he was the quiet yet seriously funny one and I crushed on him HARD for years. He remembers me as the little blonde girl who didn't speak to anyone (because I was so anxious all the time)."
"He also protected his sister from some a**holes every break time and she'd come to find him for safety from bullies."
"Should have spoken to him sooner when school finished, because we have the same music taste and we get on well enough now at 26 that we have a 6 month old daughter together, my daughter from a previous relationship and we just got engaged last weekend. I adore him, he's handsome, charming and funny and I would do anything for this man as he would for me."-hospital-flowers
High School Never Ends
"I married the Student Council President/ Prom King. He jokes that he peaked in high school. Graduated 20 years ago. He dropped out of three colleges and hasn't found a career path he is passionate about."
"He hates his job, but he's actually really good at it. He's kind of trapped in it because it would be incredibly difficult for him to find a new job without a degree."
"He's a good husband. He's an amazing father. He struggles with anxiety and some depression. A lot of self-doubt. He's incredibly social and the pandemic hit hard."
"He's put on weight and hates his body. He admits that he worries about what other people think of him and wants people to like him."
"He's introspective and wants to be a better person, but anxiety gets in the way sometimes. He married a theater nerd lol, but we didn't meet until college. I felt a little intimidated by his popular past, but he's very down-to-earth."-madestories
We really want our lives to fit neatly into these stereotypes, but at the end of the day, we are all just people repeating a cycle of wanting more for ourselves over and over again. We can't shove that into a stereotype.
Even the student council president, the prom king, the homecoming queen, and the jocks can't run away and hide in a single identity forever. Life makes you into a more rounded person whether you want to be one or not.
Movies' strong focus on creating drama through conflict inevitably has lead to countless on screen deaths.
Some of those movie deaths occur to minor characters we don't care much about (enter Wilhelm Scream). Nonetheless, they can still pack a punch if the manner of the death was gruesome or sad enough.
On the other side of the coin, a death doesn't have to be spectacular to create drama if it happens to a character we've grown to love throughout the film.
And sometimes, a beloved character faces a gruesome end. That's the double whammy.
Redditor Boston_Strong_CQB241 asked:
"Out of all the deaths you seen in movies, which one really stands out to you as the worst?"
Many Redditors recalled the deaths that drew their intensity from the connection they'd felt with the character who did the dying.
And, yes, sometimes the manner of death only heaped on the drama.
"The soldier in Saving Private Ryan that had the knife slowly plunged into his chest after a hand to hand fight and he was begging the other soldier to stop. Intense."
That Etched Wooden Beam
"The old man (Brooks) who hangs himself from The Shawshank Redemption."
" 'Get busy living or get busy dyin.' "
A Very Different Boxing Film
"Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Almost becoming World Champion, then paralyzed, her family only caring about the money she won from boxing, then having her limbs chopped off because of bed sores that got infected."
"All this just to be put down as a act of kindness like the story she foretold of her dog she grew up with. I will never watch that movie again."
Stoic Until She Wasn't
"Vesper Lynd drowning in 'Casino Royale.' That moment when she goes serene and calm, to a panicky and frenzied last gasp for air.... that really bothered me."
Others were spooked by the pure violence of some onscreen deaths. They could barely watch the gruesome moments when they erupted.
But now they can't forget them.
Slam, Slam, Slam
"That f**king wine bottle scene in Pan's Labyrinth. The casual brutality is so horribly realistic." -- Darth_Mufasa
"My jaw dropped the first time I saw it and it still haunts me. In fact, that movie gave me nightmares for two weeks" -- TheSilverCrystal
"The curb stomp." -- AUTheatreNerd
"American History X. The curb stomp. It haunts me." -- DigitFisher
"Ryan Reynolds getting his insides eaten out by an Alien in the horror movie Life. It still traumatized me."
And some people recalled the deaths they witnessed as children movie-watchers. All grown up now, they still can't unsee those old images.
"That shoe from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it was so happy and friendly and then it gets slowly dipped to death. The smoke and its cries of pain are burned into my mind 25+ years later."
"Artax in the swamp of sorrows. Made me cry so much as kid, Atreyo was so hopeless." -- kirby60
"Don't you dare do this to me right now" -- OmgOgan
Multiple Movies' Worth of Sadness
"Stoick from How to Train Your Dragon 2, I still cry every time I even think about it, and the flashbacks in the third movie just break me, great trilogy. Full of emotion and great everything, best Dreamworks movies, in my opinion"
The worst part is that this is only a small handful of the tragic movie moments that are out there. And we have so many unknown future deaths we'll see too.
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It might feel like a challenge to come back at someone who has just insulted you, but it's easier than you think.
What's the most memorable comeback you've heard in your life?
No one knows you like your family, hence why they're usually the one who know the best way to eviscerate you using only their words. Anyone with an older brother and/or sister knows what's going on with these comebacks.
She Can Stay
"My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store I said, "Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, don't forget this". My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, "Oh we won't forget. We're going to tell them to go get grandpa!" Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal."
Got That Sacred "Dad Laugh"
"I don't care if it's self-congratulatory, I'm proud of this one:
"Having dinner with my dad and older sister. I got straight As in school or something, and she's doing the older sibling thing."
"Sister: You may have gotten the book smarts in this family, but *I* got the street smarts."
"Me: The corner doesn't count."
"Dad: *chokes whiles laughing*"
Oh, Good Lord...
"My uncle to my husband. "When are you guys having a kid?"
"My husband. "Please don't ask me about my sex life with your niece"
Like, in public. Where people are. Other people. People you don't know, who might just be going about their day-to-day business, and they just so happen to hear someone being roasted alive?
What's Keeping You Alive, Grandpa?
"Was standing behind these two older adults and this teen girl at the gas station last year. She was on her phone and the guy snapped at her for "not knowing how to live without technology" and without looking up she went "don't you have a pacemaker?".
When The Store Hates You...
"Someone yelled out in a Walmart , "I'm not ashamed of who I am".
"Another voice echoed back, "that's your parents job"
You Would Really Walk Up To Someone You Don't Know And Say This?
"Young pregnant co-worker had a stranger stare disapproving at her in a restaurant, then walk up and say "pregnancy isn't very becoming on you." She replied, "well, being a nosey rude bi*ch isn't becoming on you, but here we are."
And then there's these clapbacks. Unplanned, zero preparation, and with little prior knowledge, there needs to be a call placed to some local medical center with how much damage was done with these comebacks.
If You Pantsed It, Fix It
"My friend got pantsed, underwear and all at a party. Instead of pulling his underwear and pants up, immediately, he just kept going about his business, while hanging dong. Those of us that knew him already thought it was hilarious. The people at the party that didn't know him, looked really uncomfortable due to this dude having his pants and underwear around his ankles, with his wiener hanging freely. Our friend/the host said "dude, why don't you pull your pants up?" Pantsed guy said "I didn't pull them down." Then took his turn in beer pong. The host then found the guy that did pull them down and made him pull our friend's pants back up."
Definitely Seems Like You Got Tricked Here
"When I was working as a bartender one Halloween, I came dressed as an old Western style bartender (complete with mustache and accent). We had the evening split up into a little costume party for kids and families in the earlier hours, and then an adults only costume piss up later on."
"One of the regulars laughed at my costume and said I looked stupid, so I told him"
"You should probably come back after the kids have gone because you've come dressed as a c-nt".
"He didn't talk to me for weeks after that. It was blissful."
That's A Mom Burn! Those Don't Heal!
"I asked my mum out of curiosity what she would do if she found a used condom in my brother's room."
"Her response: "I would remind him that you can't get HIV from your own hand"
"For context, I live in South Africa where HIV is very common"
If you have some ice nearby it might be a good idea to go and grab some.
These burns spread.
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