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Those seeking relationships hope to find someone who is kind, has mutual interests, and can ignite passion.


But the one factor that can render all of those useless is if they are not mature enough to be with.

Because no one wants to date someone and find themselves being a parent in a romantic relationship.

Curious to hear from those who can identify red flags, Redditor headbedhead asked:
"What are signs a guy hasn’t matured?"

When interacting with others, immature men may be prone to doing the following.

Now, Hear This

"If he doesn’t listen to who he is talking to."

– Cookieej23

The Hypocrite

"blatant disregard for others while saying others are inconsiderate."

– EmptyVessel39

​Dismissive

"Shrugs, says 'my bad' and makes the same mistake again."

– snowballyyc

Tantrum

"Has a meltdown when asked to do basic chores because he 'doesn't like doing them' and then threatens to move out because of this. Like, please do, you child."

"Edit: all housemates came together and cried it out, there was a lot going on behind the scenes I didn't know about. I'm glad I came here to rant instead of saying anything I'd regret. Happy New year folks :)"

– lala_loves_corn

Man Child

"Honestly, when he acts like a toddler."

"Do small inconveniences make him throw a temper tantrum? Does he punch walls and hit stuff? Does he get upset when he doesn’t get his way?"

"If you can imagine him as a toddler, he’s a weenie and needs to grow up."

– Burrito_Loyalist

Why He's An Ex

"I knew my ex hadn't matured when I told him I thought we should try saving money to move into a better apartment. I said I was going to cancel my gym membership, shop for cheaper groceries, take my lunch to work instead of buying my food, and reduce our Netflix account to 1 screen instead of 2."

"I suggested he maybe choose a gaming membership to cancel (he had 3), bring his lunch to work, and maybe come up with a drink rotation when him and his friends got together instead of him always buying the drinks. He got angry and said I was a kill-joy and that there was nothing wrong with our apartment."

"Our apartment still used electric coils in the wall to heat the place and 2 of them smoked when you turned them on. The stove routinely caught fire. There was a significant roach problem."

"And the apartment downstairs was broken into multiple times. I had found a really nice split home for $80 more per month in a quieter part of town and it was being privately let by a very nice older woman who moved out when her husband went into a care home."

"I knew then that he would never grow up if he couldn't make those small sacrifices."

– Zoo_In_The_Bathtub

If you can't apologize or are willing to have an honest discussion, you are the problem.

Taking Responsibility

"A sign that anyone hasn't matured is not being willing to apologize when they realize that they made a mistake and caused damage especially to someone else's emotions."

"EDIT: I should add this because I think I'm not being fully understood here. If you did something wrong, know that you did something wrong, don't feel remorseful and are not acknowledging what you did and whatever consequences your actions caused, are getting angry with whoever points out the obvious mistake you made, are making false excuses and arguments or blaming the victim, you are immature."

"If you genuinely didn't do anything wrong then you have nothing to apologize for."

– Goddess-Ylvia

The Right Phrasing

"There's also a huge difference between 'I'm sorry you feel that way' and 'I'm sorry about how I made you feel.'"

– micoxafloppin1

Evasive Isn't Cool

"Stonewalling and refusing to have a mature conversation about problems in the relationship."

– Hello891011

Silence Speaks A Thousand Words

"Going silent in an argument. Mostly intentional, such as silent treatment. However people can also unintentionally go silent as an automatic coping mechanism against their own emotions. That could lead to something called pursuer-distancer dynamic, which is extremely common and I guess pretty normal although painful."

– Kakofoni

Some say the ability to look inward is something that is a mark of true character.

Taking A Deep Look

"Inability to self reflect in a meaningful way."

– Anticrepuscular_Ray

Interpreting What Others Think

"I think the best I ever did was sit alone in my room and actually question why I think the way I do about the world and the people in it."

"I always thought people assumed the worst in me, and that’s why treated me like I was an a**hole. Turns out I was just preemptively being an a**hole as a defense mechanism to not get hurt or tricked by people. My family is a bucket of crabs unable to ever figure out how to properly treat people with respect. all their jokes to me were constant personal attacks, so I guess I learned somewhere along the line that you apparently just roast the sh*t out of people for any little thing they do."

"So in short, I thought about why I felt like people thought the worst of me, and it’s because I thought the worst of me and showed it to them. So I decided I would treat people how I want to be treated, not how I thought I should be treated."

"So I guess that’s an example of self reflection."

– perpetualstudent101

Good Personal Growth

"You are already self reflecting when you think this applies to you. Thinking about what you think and the things you do, and why you think and do them, and how they affect other people, is self refecting. It's actually a very interesting thing to do and it helps you grow as a person."

– squirrelfoot

Work In Progress

"Tap into your empathy and have a genuine focus on understanding none of us are finished products and we should never stop trying to improve ourselves and as a direct consequence how we treat those around us."

"The main lesson I've learnt in life is pride for prides sake is absolutely destructive to that. Learn to apologise and mean it, take the 'damage to pride' on the chin, it makes you a stronger person."

– Wilfko

Based on the comments provided by the Redditors above, people should take note of the characteristics of men they would like to avoid.

And for those men, or even women, who feel uncomfortable with the red flag examples, it may be because they may have some growing up to do themselves.

But overall, a good rule of thumb is: tantrums aren't sexy.

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