If you ask a waiter, any waiter, to tell you their favorite or most harrowing story about serving tables you better be prepared to spare a few days and a case of your finest bourbon.
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Waiters are the witnesses to the best and absolute worst of humanity. And what people tend to ignore is that waiters are live people.
It's like seeing live theatre and not a movie. You can talk back to the screen; in theatre, the actors CAN HEAR YOU!
Waiters aren't ghosts, and what tales they have to share.
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Redditor Romantic_Amoeba asked waiters of Reddit to share their most horrendous tales, and the responses were... unbelievable.
Guess you're out of the will.
I was delivering food to a large table that looked like they were on a family reunion vacation when I overheard a grandpa asking one of the younger (12 or 13?) grandchildren if he they had fun that day. The kid responded with "F- you grandpa I can't wait until you die.". I almost dropped all the plates in shock. Alternate_Ending74
Always check with Ancestry.com first.
In a Witherspoons and there was a slight lull in the Friday night noise and a buddy and I overheard a girl say "Well technically he isn't my brother so I shagged him" to which her friend replied "But you have the same Dad". ElPapaDiablo
Sometimes it's just bloat.
I overheard a customer talking about someone "coming and being so much fun". I assumed she was pregnant because she seemed to be showing a bit. I decided mid way through the dinner to congratulate her on being pregnant. To my horror she said "I am not pregnant". I felt horrible. I told my manager who comped their meals and I hid in the back for the rest of their dinner. Push comes to shove she refused to let the manager comp her meal and left me a $20 tip with a note that said "I was kidding I'm due in July." xjman349
Oh somethings always merit a scene.
Had a guy confess to banging his SO's sister when I brought their drinks to them. It was an anniversary. I guess he thought it would be the least likely place for her to cause a scene. She caused a scene. captaincous
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Choose your words wisely!
I was bussing this table and I can hear these two guys speaking in Vietnamese to each other. One asks the other what they think about me. The guy responds and said I'm cute but I have a flat chest. Also in my defense we had to wear these oversized unisex shirts that was not flattering. But anyways, I just keep doing what I'm doing and continue on. When they came to the register to pay one asked me what nationality I was and I smiled and said I'm Vietnamese . They looked shocked; then asked me if I spoke it, which I responded I did. Then he asked me in Vietnamese if I'm understanding him right now and I responded back in viet that yes I do. They didn't say anything else and left. Stanced2JZ
#boybye.
We had a couple who would come in regularly and always asked to be seated in my coworker's section. They were probably in their 60s and were always really affectionate and cute with each other. My coworker would joke around with them all the time.
One day the man came in with a different woman than usual, and my coworker jokingly told him "ooooh, you're in trouble. I'm going to tell your wife you were here with another woman."
Woman said "Excuse me? I am his wife. Who the hell has he been coming here with?" Dead awkward silence while she death-glares at her extremely uncomfortable-looking husband. My coworker just turned around and walked away.
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Don't give up.
Older couple at Bob Evans.
"I just wish I could die already."
"I know dear." nn30
Careful what you're swallowing.
When I was a waiter, people often pretended that I wasn't there. The stories they told were crazy and personal. One woman at a table of 6 lunching ladies told the story of how her husband was recently prescribed viagra. "He took it like a vitamin - 1 pill every morning. He kept having erections at work and didn't understand why." ninja_at_law
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That never happens at Little Ceaser's!
I used to be a manager at a Pizza Hut. Big extended redneck family comes in, with parents and kids. Standard visit, and they stood up to leave when 2 of the guys started yelling at each other. Their wives/gfs got in on it and turned it up a notch by getting in a vicious slapfight. Best part? Both of the women were holding babies at the time. turnburn720
Someone call Maury.
Two top at a pretty restaurant on the lake. Married couple obviously on the rocks... the guy quite obviously wanted to stay together and she was having none of it. Hushed arguing at the table the entire meal. As I am dropping the check he asks, "what about the baby?" She replies "you don't have to worry about that.. it's not yours!" And storms off. Poor guy was weeping when I returned with the credit card slips. ColPhorbin
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Somethings are better left unsaid.
My girlfriend waits tables. One time a creepy man said to her "when I have sex with my wife, I think of you instead."
The wife sitting at the table didn't seem bothered by this fact.
I also bought my girlfriend pepper spray and a tazer soon after. coach_whackbat
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Always have an alibi.
I worked at a restaurant where you pay at the table and if you wanted a receipt, the server would go print it out and bring it back to you. I was waiting on a woman who every other server refused to deal with because she was such a hassle (she came in all the time). Complained about everything, basically made up her own menu items, etc. At the end of the meal when she was paying I asked if she needed a receipt, she said yes because she wanted proof she was here at this time in case she was accused of murder that night. Probably not the weirdest but the first one that comes to mind. kkaaalll
Nothing to see here people.
Party of 5 or 6, its a group of friends having dinner. In walks a clown. Clown starts randomly walking around the restaurant doing balloon animals for kids and shit like that. I have no idea what the fuck is going on, we didn't hire this guy. He walks over to the table of 5 or 6 and selects a man from the table to perform a magic trick for. He did the trick, a small flash of smoke and fire happens and then magically there is an engagement ring on a rope. The man takes the ring and the woman gets on her knees and asks the man to marry her. The man says no, tells her to get up and they continue dinner. This table now has the attention of the entire restaurant (like 300-400 people on our busiest night). Everybody just turned away and started awkwardly eating like nothing happened. did_it_right
When nature calls... you answer.
I heard a little girl say "excuse me," as soon as I got to the table. I thought she was going to ask a question so I said "yes ma'am?" and she said "Oh nothing I just farted." bigwilly311
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This ain't pretty woman.
Worked at an airport and I was cleaning the tables while I overheard a man and his high class prostitute he had flown In, talk about terms and conditions as well as ordinary things. Apparently It was the first time he'd done It and he was nervous his wife would somehow find out. They discussed do's and don'ts and well you get the Idea. But In all honesty the bloke seemed like a shy guy, didn't look bad, and the hooker was exemplary In the way she treated him. And the money she earned was more than my monthly salary. [deleted]
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You be you.
I love this!
"I'm gay!"
"No crap, you getting the sampler or what" Xyranthis
Making it rain.
Heard a group of 3 women talking about how each of their 4th/5th/ whatever many marriages are going and how they treat marrying for money as their career.
One of them paid with their newest husband's black AMEX card. MistaFANG
Always get a second and THIRD opinion.
I was taking a private party of hospital execs who were talking about the false DNR problem they were having. Paperwork somehow got switched and people who had signed DNRs were revived while healthy patients were allowed to code and die. hikerfag
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Once more for old times sake.
Bartender here and while I have heard just about everything my favorite has to be when these two adorable 80ish year old men walked in one night. They spent two hours at the bar planing out what I thought was a simple camping trip. As the night went on I figured out they were planing one last acid trip in the woods for old times sake. Still to this day they are the coolest people I have ever served and that includes eric andre. Chodysmallz
H/T : Reddit, Romantic_Amoeba
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.